The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was cleaning up some old files on my computer this weekend. Spring cleaning. I came across this. It was saved in 2003, shortly after I started alanon. I have no idea where I got it from but I am sure I stole it fair and square. The concept of letting go was so difficult for me to grasp. I thought letting go was giving my go ahead. ugh! Anyway I wanted to share it with the rest of you, and I decided not to delete it. Sometimes I have to go back to go forward.
Carol
Bricks and Buckets
You are on a camping trip... with two 5 gallon buckets and a stack of medium size concrete bricks... And on each one of those bricks, you paint the name of the person you resent, your fears, etc... all the negatives that are standing in the way of your joy and freedom. You don't want to let them go, you have learned how to carry them pretty well over the years... so you balk at the idea of "letting go and letting God... you want justice, you want to keep them to justify your angers, your bitterness, your self pity, etc... you are not willing to let them go... You have to take all your medium size bricks now ... and place them in those two five gallon buckets... you are required to carry them around with you wherever you go... But as you become willing... you can pick through the bricks, and release the ones you are willing to be done with... some of us can and will carry both buckets for an hour before setting it down to review who or what we can let go of.... others carry them longer....before digging into them... But they are heavy... no one else is struggling with Your buckets of bricks... they are in your hands... they are not having any real effect on anyones life but your own... you are gettting tired, worn out from carrying them around... are you ready to go through your bucket, and see who you are willing to let go of, who and what you are willing to let off your hook yet? How long do you want to walk about with those buckets of bricks... its completely up to you. You can release them one at a time, if you are willing.
Those buckets, even if we only visualize ourselves carrying them around in our mind, do get heavy and it allows us to visualize releasing ourselves from their burden on a daily basis... we call this "acting as if.." we act as if, we are releasing, and in doing so we prepare ourselves to actually do so. We ask that our Higher Power help us release and we act as if He is, until He does. Just like we work this program one day at a time, we can let go of one thing at a time... we don't have to get so overwhelmed by the whole load... just become willing to take one brick out of your bucket, you can pick which one it is, and throw it in the river... while saying a prayer that God bless that situation or person with what you'd ask for yourself... and freedom starts to set in.
Visualize this each day... carrying those things that stand in your way of freedom, happiness, joy, and peace... that block you from the sunlite of the spirit... and keep Serenity at arms lenght away from you.... Are you ready to let any of them Go now?... remember the other half of this process is "Letting God"...
In closing.. take a coin and place it in the palm of your hand... throw it up, let it land back in your hand... thats how most of us let go... we let go, it comes back... we let go, it comes back... now.. try something different... with the coin in the palm of your hand.. merely turn your hand over and release it. See, it doesn't keep falling back into your hand when you truly Let it go.
The concept of letting go was so difficult for me to grasp. I thought letting go was giving my go ahead. ugh! Anyway I wanted to share it with the rest of you, and I decided not to delete it. Sometimes I have to go back to go forward.