The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Its 200am Pacific Time, I’ve been crying since I put my head down on the pillow. What is about this time that winds me up? I’ve been crying hysterically now for about 3 hours. As soon as it’s 600 am I’m going to call him and ask him why do we have to do this? I don’t get it. Then he’ll “say you know what your doing is detrimental to any thing we may have left”. Please HP help me get through this morning and help me get some sleep I’m asking you in the most humble way I know.
I feel so ashamed of myself, I should be thinking about my father who is suffering from heart failure but instead all I can think of is you. My father had a stroke and now is unable to talk because of the stroke I stay here with him and my mother and help them out. Earlier this evening, I found my father in the front room sitting in the dark crying he doesn’t feel good and I’m positive he is extremely depressed about his health. I held him and we cried together only I’m crying over you when I should be thinking of Dad.
HP, help me get through this morning help me see that this will pass, help me rest my tired eyes and put to rest my tears.
Anglenomore - Times of great hardship are heartwrenching. You are being a wonderful daughter to your Dad! Take heart that we are here for you and will keep you in our prayers.
Be open with your HP and know he will not leave your side.
Take care of you and know we care.
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Hugs for your pain. Have you been able to get to a meeting? Don't isolate. Let them know you are new, unload your pain and tears at a meeting. We understand as perhaps few others can.
Keep coming,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Aloha Angel.... I remember saying your prayer for the same reason. I remember that same prayer to the alcoholic for the same reason. I remember no sleep for 3 days and the deprivation making my whole self including my resolve very sick. I remembered that no matter how bad things got in the disease I was always able to sleep when my alcoholic was there with me and I understood that I was in withdrawals missing MY drug of choice. I remember laying in bed on my back trying to count the holes in the ceiling tiles in the dark and how insane that was. I needed to feel her with me like I always had and thought that this would be how I would feel safe and secure and whole again. This is what alcoholics and addicts go thru with their drugs of choice.
Then I made a very desperate decision. I asked my Higher Power to lay down with me and hold me so that I could sleep and almost instantaneously I felt this presence lay beside me and put their arms around me more securely than my alcoholic ever had and I fell asleep. I have never had a problem sleeping since then or knowing where my real love and security comes from. Try it. Maybe it will work for you maybe not. It was worth the try for me.
It seemed like you were reading from my first journal. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))
