The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
a huge part of my getting away from the A is financial. I got myself into a tremendous financial mire with him cost me thousands of dollars. I will stay in the financial mire if I don't get out I am sure of it.
I have been looking for work for a long long time. I have recently worked two jobs and that almost killed me physically. Needless to say the A was totally uncooprative about me working so much. He also found very very creative ways to get funds out of me needing money for gas (then he took off for two days), needing money for everything. Bottom oline with him his needs are always so much more important than mine.
So now I am back to looking for work again. And I am not this time telling the A anything at all. I tell him nothing about my plans because I have seen him sabatage me too many times when I am going on interviews. So tomorrow I have an interview and I have lines in to look for other work. I am willing I can say that about myself. I am willing to go out there and look and interview and in order to do that I have to - to a certain extent, set aside my grief and anger at the A. Last week he was unspeakable to me on many levels really super abusive and he has no remorse at all. All he sees me as is something to plug into to get his needs met and if I don't do that he is unspeakable to me. I gave him ammunition last week I shouted at him I'm not doing that again. I say nothing these days. I say very very very little to him because there is really nothing left to say but "bye". Today he wanted my sympathy when he came back from a doctor's visit. I gave him nothing but I also didn't give him any reason to be unspeakable to me. My days of confronting him are gone. My days of moving forward are on.
I am going to get a job. I am going to get myself out of this truck mess he has got me into. I am never going to have another holiday with him again. I am never going to have it that my whole life is about helping him and doing nothing nothing nothing for me again. Those days are over. The new days are here.
I started a new part time job today. I have 2. One from the house and 2 days/week out. I was gone for 12 hours and although my A son was in my head, it wasn't all the time because I had stuff to learn and do.
Good luck on the interview. I will send you good thoughts.
Not sure how long ago you posted Maresie but just wanted to say sending you positive vibes from Australia and thinking of you. A new job will be a refreshing change for you and help you work towards your goal of independence. I am sending luv your way. Leo xx
I have been thinking for the longest time that leaving the A is going backwards. I felt like I would be going backwards to move back to certain situations I was living in before. Now I dont think like that. I just keep moving forward and turning over I do not know how things will go together but I keep moving forward anyway and turning it over.
Good Luck to you! The perfect job awaits you! I have found my new job is a transitional job. So even though I am working, I am still looking, I will apply for two more jobs today. Went into the state job search site today and already applied for two jobs there. You too, will find what you need.
