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Wow! Was I ever happy to see an Al-Anon commercial on t.v. the other day! Has anyone else seen it? I sat there next to my AH drinking coffee and wondered, did any of that ring a bell in his brain, what-so-ever??!!..that I feel the way those people did in that com-mercial? We had a discussion about his drinking over the weekend, (again). I told ya that I was getting bolder about speaking out to him about it. I almost!!! ALMOST!!! told him that I was on line with this group, but I just couldn't get the nerve!! I did tell him that I have been learning alot about alcohol. He trys to tell me he loves the taste of beer, that's why he drinks so much! I told him..." no dear, you are addicted to it, I know the difference"! My gosh! I love Pepsi too, but you don't see my guzzling down a 12 pack of it everyday! Anyway...that's the first time I have ever seen an Al-Anon commercial...I just wish they would show it more often. Maybe next time I can be bolder and say ", I'd love to be able to go to one of those meetings", and see if he says anything!! I am building myself up to it at least. Just letting you all know, that as much as I think I haven't been progressing...when I do get up the nerve to say something to him, I look back and think... Wow!! I did it! <LOL> Another baby step that I have read so much about here!! Thank you!! ok...that's all I have to tell ya's for now! Take care/be safe!! Hugs, Korinne
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Today, I am grateful to be on the path of dealing with my life and continuing to grow truly stronger.
I felt like i was reading my own story. I too was in the same place not long ago.
it went through my head that ppl that my dry a would think i was obseeing about alcholosim. well it had been my entire life. I was a child of alcholoics. i lived the life for so long. i thought that breaking my releshanship of with my mom would solve my problems well that was far from true. it just made me feel worse.
Just take the baby steps you are doing fine. when i did admit my alaon i was so much relief.
I SO know what you mean about baby steps to being brave enough to speak boldly.
I remember how badly my hands were shaking the day I stopped letting husband bully me into using his euphanisms for his drunken bouts. He calls his evenings of drinking until food falls out of his mouth mid-chew, and wetting his pants "time for me", "relaxation time", "recovering from work time", "time I have earned", "watching a movie", "sitting still for longer than 5 minutes", etc. he had a million of them. He screamed horrible thigns at me for a week when I dared to say the word ALCOHOL. He said "I KNOW you are trying to paint me as some kind of alcholic to say I drink alcohol...I will sue you for SLANDER". SIGH!
He scared me for a while but one day I got brave and SAID IT! I said "well I guess you won't be eating dinner today so I won't have to bother to cook it...you will be too knocked out DRUNK from drinking those two 40 ounce bottles of ALCOHOL (and high alcohol content malt liqour at that)!
My hands were shaking...but I survived it. He screamed a lot and very nastily...I left the room.
There was no going back. I don't say those words with sarcasm, and I don't look for excuses to say them but WHEN I need to discuss his drinking with him, I no longer let myself be bullied into using euphanisms.
HURRAH for alanon! And yes, that is what gave me the strength! I saw going along with his euphanisms as a form of enabling...going along with his game he played with himself that what he did was OK and normal. It is NOT! The truth needs to be told...husband does not need to be surronded with people who will play his sick games...he needs a dose of REALITY.
He may lie to himself...but will not get me to lie along with him.
More hugs to you korrine ((((((((((((((((((((korrine)))))))))))))))))))))
Those baby steps add up after a while...and soon you will have come a LLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG way!
I've seen the commercial one time. I was online reading this board when it came on! I thought about all the alanon people who were out there, maybe... or hopefully watching it with their A's!!! Hope they start airing it more often!!
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.
I haven't seen the commercial Korinne, but I can relate to wondering if they hear a message when they see someone's drinking causing serious problems on some tv program. Or someone is arrested for DUI on the news, or, worse yet, kills someone while driving. My A seems to not notice at all, but I have to wonder....Of course, his drinking is not a topic we talk about a lot. I believe his motto is, "Ignore it and it isn't a problem." Anyway, I will be looking for the commercial. Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
