Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

QOD · QOD

I feel there may be some clarification needed regarding my last post. Obsession? There is no obsession when it comes to tracking my AH's credit card transactions. Only concern. 1st - I am not tracking him 24/7 or even at home. I do not have a computer at home. So there is NO - ZERO - neglect towar...

fozzie · fozzie

I think I'm ready to give my A husband a choice. I know choice is just a fancy word for ultimatum, and ultimatums generally don't work (see all the wonderful replies to my previous post), but this is for myself and the kids. We had a big family weekend this weekend at my parents' house. The...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah and i spend alot of time together with the kids. it is for the most part tolerable and fun. buti'll start relating a story that i've heard on the news and he inturupts me with something more important. so, i see, he is just being rude. it is part of his mania taking hold again. all the signs a...

kellygirl · kellygirl

Sometimes I am actually jelous of my AH...a small part of me envy's his seemingly carefree existance with the bartender skank in the smoke filled trailor. No bills, no nagging wife, no children throwing up at 3 o'clock in the morning, no toilets to plunge or dog poo to pick up. just a carefree e...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I did some research yesterday about the arrest and am just feeling resigned to the idea that this is just the way it's gonna be and it's time for me to move on. I thought I was moving on before but still had that string of hope that we might get back together someday, that he would get better. I am a...

maresie2 · maresie2

As some of you may remember when I first came into this room more than a year ago I was absolutely lost in resentment and chaos with the A. I have definitely had my moments over the past year. I've been totally desolate at times, I have also been petrified at what the A might do next. I never did see the...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi everyone))) Well as I heard a few times when first coming to this program, you will need this work probably more when your A gets sober. It is becoming more and more true. I was just so glad to have him "back" in this world that I was pretty much just staying put, sticking with him like gl...

Marianne · Marianne

I would like to tell you why I am on this forum. I left my AexH who was a violent drunk when my son Sam (that's him on the left) was three, his sister two and his brother, a baby. A couple of years after leaving him I met a guy ( let's call him AP) I really fell for him, he was kind ,gentle, fun and loved my...

Fifi · Fifi

wish i had the energy to share events/feelings/responses/questions of the past few days in my life with you all and get some specific replies. but i am exhausted and definitely numb and foggy feeling and just wanted to ask you to keep me in your hearts and prayers. i am emotionally so exhausted....try...

maresie2 · maresie2

Dealing with the A, working nights (I currently work shifts) and more have left me incredibly isolated. I think I have to say my codependence also leaves me isolated. I over react, over identify, people please, martyr myself in relationships. I recently read a biography of a child growing up in an a...

kerry5 · kerry5

Business Meeting Sunday Ferbruary 4th at 9pm est Follwing the alanon meeting. Agenda Meeting Schedule. New Comer Meeting Financial Report. New Business Will hear all new business from members. If you have any new business you can send me a private email here or bring it up at the meeting. Thanks...

ally · ally

((((((((((((GUYS))))))))))) My emotions have been like a rollercoaster since Christmas. I am going through so much confusion and pain. One day I'm happy, next day I land right back down there on my butt. I was happy yesterday. And today the bottom has fallen out of my world. One of my relationshi...

evey · evey

Hello all, It has been awhile, been visiting and reading but not posting. My Ah will die of alcoholism. There it's said. I have done everything I can. So has his family. He had a withdrawel seizure at work and was taken to the hospital. Low blood count(30,000) it should be 100,000 min, fatty liver, e...

Wilted · Wilted

Yesterday my AH came home from work with not only the regular six pack he has been drinking every day, but an additional 3 six packs that a customer had stopped off at my husband's job and given him. When he shared that information with me, the first thought that popped in my head was: "Here goes...

jaja · jaja

Last Wed. my son and his new girlfriend came to town to spend a week here with me which was exciting because I have not seen him in 5 months (first time he's ever been away) and it was the first time I'd be meeting her. And that Saturday my oldest daughter and her 6 yr. old daughter came to to...

bev · bev

sorry for adding the post again,i didnt see that it came on cause im not on my computer,sorry

gr8tful · gr8tful

hi all i am new to this format and am looking to get some experience strength and hope from al-anon.i have 9.5 years clean from chemicals( no drugs etoh) BUT my husband is an active and really sick drunk. how is that for twisted?I didnt get enuf pain torturing myself I had to stay w a active drinker.i was...

Leetle · Leetle

I have come to realize that I work with dishonest people. People I don't trust. This realization is really bothersome. It is hurting me. It is not a safe place for my spirit. I feel as if I am the only one working and even sacrificing to get the job done. Like they know if I am there the job will g...

maresie2 · maresie2

One other issue that really came up for me when I was reading "The Glass Castle" was the constant chaos. That is how I lived as a child. That is also pretty much how I have lived as an adult. When I meet someone who also lives in constant chaos there is no red flags. Where I work is constant chaos....

kellygirl · kellygirl

I have not spoken to my AH since December 26 because of a heated falling out and I made a conscience decision to completely detatch from him and my life has been so much better since then, not perfect but so much more peaceful. After going to my first Al-Anon meeting and reading posts here I am wondering if...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))) Well I thought I would give you an update on my six week check post surgery. I told the Doc that I have been having some pain again and it’s like the original pain. He told me that it’s either ANOTHER disc or permanent damage. I have to go for another MRI sometime in Mar...

chauri · chauri

I'm soooo angry right now. I'm mot usually the one who screams and shouts. I bottle up things inside and be the doormat person. but today, he put the last straw on this camel. I yelled back at him. told his how hurtful he was, and that he isn't the only one hurt in this relationship. then I walk...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, Well my hubby called me from the pokey on Tuesday. He had met with his lawyer for one of his old charges (DUI, not following through with treatment). Before that point he met with this lawyer he was going to ask for whatever time the judge wanted to close the case and was also going to request that he...

texsmama · texsmama

I think it happened. I truly can't tell you if this was it or not. It seemed like it. I almost left him on Sunday after a war of the worlds (or words!) again. I was completely done with the emotional abuse. Then came the drink after being sober for a couple of weeks. It was his first hard try, I almost kne...

4LLCandMe · 4LLCandMe

Hi all, i'm new here, but i've been attending al-anon meetings for almost 11 months now. some background info b4 i continue...i've been in a relationship with an addict for over 8 years now, our 3rd wedding anniversary will be in the fall. we now have 2 girls, 10 yrs (from a previous re...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I don't know what is wrong with me, I know what things set him off and I know that I have to just back off. Is that right? I am still trying to live with this guy and it is so hard. I came home after being gone all day and he was sitting on the computer. I told him I had to use it and he let me, but it was moving so sl...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just when everything seemed to be mellowing out, he had a place to stay, a job and was paying support and seeing the kids...all hell breaks loose again. Maybe that is just my dramatic rendition of the story. Anyway, last week I was on the fence going back and forth about giving him another chance, etc a...

maresie2 · maresie2

For most of my life I have believed that I was never part of the problem at work. I have really bought into that I had an awful supervisors (and I had some doozys) and terrible co workers and really bad environments. I started a new job recently (albeit a temporary job) I can never quite muster up to gettin...

mama_nz · mama_nz

I'm struggling lately with whether I should have stayed living with my ex(A) or moved back in with him -would that have solved things. Because even though we have been apart a year now almost to the day, we are still arguing over drinking, he is still drinking. It's like the same stuff as when...

QOD · QOD

Ok - so as of this morning....my AH has been gone for one solid week. Off smoking his crack, probably feeling sorry for himself. Boo hoo. Yea right! I know he is alive for 2 reasons.....I can track his credit card cash advances to know he is still withdrawing money. AND he called his sister last night a...

kellygirl · kellygirl

Since I attended my first Al-Anon meeting this week, a whole host of feelings have emerged within me...a lot of good, but some bad. The most prevelant feeling I have been getting is "Is My H Really An Alcoholic?" I know that when he was living at home with us he was, but he has been gone since l...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) Not long after I got here, someone posted this for me. I don't really know where it comes from, but I saved it. I read these things I have saved over time when I am feeling a need and I decided with all the new members here lately that someone may want to read it. Hope you enjoy it...

jewely · jewely

i was just sitting here minding my own business when........, my husband walked in last night with our one year old grandaughter. i looked at him and i said, ''what's this?'' i was feeling exhausted but quite proud of myself because i had managed to straighten up the house and co...

mama_nz · mama_nz

My ex (A) emailed me to say he's sorry, that it hurts him like hell that I don't want to be with him anymore and that he had lots he still wanted to say and he hopes to hear from me. Well curiosity got the better of me and I ended up calling him tonight, and woah what a mistake that was. I was the one that...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I'm still doing pretty good. Haven't talked to the A since I dropped him off Saturday night at his sponsor's house (where he currently resides). I have thought about calling but then thought why bother. Of course when I do call he'll say it's only because I want my child s...

mama_nz · mama_nz

So, after last weekend's incident with my ex (A) (drinking again) he's now emailed me to say sorry. I pulled the phone out of the wall the day after it happened -more to stop myself from calling him and giving him a piece of my mind, and so I wouldn't be tempted to talk if he called. I've...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Friends))) This week has been a challenging week. Still no work for my AH. I have been working short hours at work so that I can be available for the kids because I could not put them in daycare this week either. I did this so that my AH could work. He has now had to resort to day labor; which to say t...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Happy Friday MIP Friends))) My AH went to a first time individual session with our therapist last night. I did well with detaching emotionally and just giving over my hopes and fears to HP. I simply asked if the session went o.k. but did not ask him to get into details. Later on he told me on his ow...

afmom03 · afmom03

Hi everyone!!!

I'm just poppin' in to say "howdy ya'll"...it's been 4 weeks ago today that I left my AH...and to let ya's know I'm doing well. I don't have a job yet, but that will come in time. My last paycheck from the bus driving job was wayyyyyy more...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well AH came over last Friday and stayed till Sat. and I could barely stand that long. First about 10 mins after he got in the car he asked if we were going to get back together or not (I'm afraid if I say no the support will stop and if I say yes I'm setting myself up) so I say I don't know. He says...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Friends))) I had a thought this morning that I wanted to share with the group. Maybe someone else is experiencing this as well. Today's courage to Change was about doing what is best for my life, living my life the way I want it and giving myself what I need to be happy. Thinking about this sent...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have not been posting much because (a) I did not have the internet at home (the A allowed the service to be cut off. For me that used to be a sticking point. I would go "off" on the a when it was down. This time I did not and it was pretty hard to manage the resentments and the difficulty of using th...

debilyn · debilyn

mary I hope I was not too tough on you!!! please come back and post I am concerned!!!! I do not trust your A at all!!! love,debilyn

Riley · Riley

I of course left out the part of the conversation that disturbed me the most because it is literally stuck inside my head. he said that he wanted to drag me behind his truck. This is what I had found so disturbing, knowing our background. Those are pretty strong words.

mandy · mandy

cant seem to accomplish step 1! what the h#ll is wrong with me?? I keep brushing dirt under the carpet thinking the pain will go away. My a is out of control and trying to take his family down with him. I'm on my way and am so good at denial. By the way, any idea why I turned into a massive control freak?:fu...

bev · bev

hi all i finally did it i moved..after i left my AH sold everything in the house for crack,and beer thern to make things worse my monthly settlement check to the house instead of coming here in ny{i had the addy changed and everything and also in formed the bank about him trying to cash my check if it goes th...

Diva · Diva

Ok, I admit I am excited, which is a good thing considering how scared and concerned I have been over my recent "event." I'll let you all know about the Bad, Bad One when I get home. His voice sounds the same...husky and sexy...Ah, what fun!!!! Of course I know that I must take life easy fo...

bev · bev

well i left florida.on friday..AH tried to call my daughter but they wouldnt talk to him..on friday before we eft my daughter and son in law went back to the house to get my son in laws car and trailor,when they got there my daughter went in the house and everything was gone even his truck,but he was there e...

Wilted · Wilted

What books would you recommend Beginners read first? Wilted

chauri · chauri

Hi all, this is my first time on this. Just logged in. We are in the process of moving. Of course, my A can't help much. Some days he tries Some days it's been bad. So much clutter and mess. I feel over whelmed. I'm trying to apply the tool Letting go and letting god .... Some things are hard t...

Wilted · Wilted

Last Friday I attended my first face to face Al-Anon meeting and today I am going to my first Codependency meeting. After just "sitting still" for so long, I feel that I am finally taking some positive steps forward and there is a peace in my spirit that I haven't felt in quite awhile. I kn...

DeeDee · DeeDee

I am only on step 3...made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. Sometimes, I feel I still have to remember step 1, I am powerless over alcohol... Some of the al anon support I have received, tell me that it is ok for me to set boundaries. So, with the Super Bowl coming up, my AH told m...

jewely · jewely

can you tell me how to get into the step work board??? thanks jewely

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone)))) So over the past year I have struggled to understand and surrender to the fact that my wifes drinking is beyond my control. Just when I get a handle on that... she has appearantly started going to the outpatient treatment program here in town. I say appearantly because I don'...

Diva · Diva

He'll be here late this evening. We have a quiet lunch planned for tomorrow. Very close by so that I don't have to exert too much effort. What a hell of a time to have a heart episode!!!! LOL!! Diva

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking that I am probably just holding on to my A because he's a good fallback which isn't fair to me or him. I have hope for the future of meeting someone someday who is totally into me and treats me like a precious gem not a doormat. I'm so sick of men not doing what they say they...

Riley · Riley

My husband is one of my many qualifiers, he has now been sober for two years, 1 month and two, days. I am having difficulty feeling safe and grounded. My husband and I have had several very personal conversations regarding my family, his sponsor had brought them up to me in a way that he thought was humoro...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone)))))) In one of my F2F meetings someone had a very interesting share. Do you remember the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? He was a news anchor person who was being a real butthead and relived the same day over and over and over again until he got it right. How often does that happen...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex kindly shared with me at some point in our life together that crack addicts break off the antena on cars to clean their pipes. i think he was proud that he never did that to our car. lol! also, steel wool. used as a screen. and the singed eyelases or eyebrows. i so wish i didn't know these things.

sharky · sharky

Hi, I'm a newbie. I actually posted an intro back in November or so. I went and picked up a few books that some of you recommended: Getting them Sober, Marriage on the Rocks, and Codependent No More. I haven't posted since then b/c I've spent most of my meager spare time reading - I litera...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Clarification of my previous post -"AH Still Gone but not Missing" (Preview) I feel there may be some clarification needed regarding my last post. Obsession? There is no obsession when it comes to tracking my AH's credit card transactions. Only concern. 1st - I am not tracking him 24/7 or even at home. I do not have a computer at home. So there is NO - ZERO - neglect towar...	QOD	5	886	Feb 5, 2007 by QOD
	It might be time... (Preview) I think I'm ready to give my A husband a choice. I know choice is just a fancy word for ultimatum, and ultimatums generally don't work (see all the wonderful replies to my previous post), but this is for myself and the kids. We had a big family weekend this weekend at my parents' house. The...	fozzie	4	639	Feb 5, 2007 by maresie2
	daily petty irratations (Preview) my ex ah and i spend alot of time together with the kids. it is for the most part tolerable and fun. buti'll start relating a story that i've heard on the news and he inturupts me with something more important. so, i see, he is just being rude. it is part of his mania taking hold again. all the signs a...	serendipity	4	690	Feb 4, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Jelous of AH at times.....too twisted? (Preview) Sometimes I am actually jelous of my AH...a small part of me envy's his seemingly carefree existance with the bartender skank in the smoke filled trailor. No bills, no nagging wife, no children throwing up at 3 o'clock in the morning, no toilets to plunge or dog poo to pick up. just a carefree e...	kellygirl	11	681	Feb 4, 2007 by AndiLynn
	The last straw (Preview) I did some research yesterday about the arrest and am just feeling resigned to the idea that this is just the way it's gonna be and it's time for me to move on. I thought I was moving on before but still had that string of hope that we might get back together someday, that he would get better. I am a...	carolinagirl	3	485	Feb 4, 2007 by doxie
	Moving on from being totally mired in resentment (Preview) As some of you may remember when I first came into this room more than a year ago I was absolutely lost in resentment and chaos with the A. I have definitely had my moments over the past year. I've been totally desolate at times, I have also been petrified at what the A might do next. I never did see the...	maresie2	2	590	Feb 4, 2007 by Karilynn
	Sober but troubles... (Preview) (((Hi everyone))) Well as I heard a few times when first coming to this program, you will need this work probably more when your A gets sober. It is becoming more and more true. I was just so glad to have him "back" in this world that I was pretty much just staying put, sticking with him like gl...	hersh	8	627	Feb 4, 2007 by Idealsummerluv
	Alcohol II The Movie ( long post) (Preview) I would like to tell you why I am on this forum. I left my AexH who was a violent drunk when my son Sam (that's him on the left) was three, his sister two and his brother, a baby. A couple of years after leaving him I met a guy ( let's call him AP) I really fell for him, he was kind ,gentle, fun and loved my...	Marianne	7	672	Feb 4, 2007 by Susan K
	asking for prayers (Preview) wish i had the energy to share events/feelings/responses/questions of the past few days in my life with you all and get some specific replies. but i am exhausted and definitely numb and foggy feeling and just wanted to ask you to keep me in your hearts and prayers. i am emotionally so exhausted....try...	Fifi	11	589	Feb 4, 2007 by Idealsummerluv
	Being isolated (Preview) Dealing with the A, working nights (I currently work shifts) and more have left me incredibly isolated. I think I have to say my codependence also leaves me isolated. I over react, over identify, people please, martyr myself in relationships. I recently read a biography of a child growing up in an a...	maresie2	5	514	Feb 4, 2007 by Leetle
	Business Meeting (Preview) Business Meeting Sunday Ferbruary 4th at 9pm est Follwing the alanon meeting. Agenda Meeting Schedule. New Comer Meeting Financial Report. New Business Will hear all new business from members. If you have any new business you can send me a private email here or bring it up at the meeting. Thanks...	kerry5	2	474	Feb 3, 2007 by kerry5
	WHY DO RELATIONSHIPS CAUSE SO MUCH PAIN (Preview) ((((((((((((GUYS))))))))))) My emotions have been like a rollercoaster since Christmas. I am going through so much confusion and pain. One day I'm happy, next day I land right back down there on my butt. I was happy yesterday. And today the bottom has fallen out of my world. One of my relationshi...	ally	9	788	Feb 3, 2007 by marty
	acceptance of reality (Preview) Hello all, It has been awhile, been visiting and reading but not posting. My Ah will die of alcoholism. There it's said. I have done everything I can. So has his family. He had a withdrawel seizure at work and was taken to the hospital. Low blood count(30,000) it should be 100,000 min, fatty liver, e...	evey	2	465	Feb 3, 2007 by evey
	The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak... (Preview) Yesterday my AH came home from work with not only the regular six pack he has been drinking every day, but an additional 3 six packs that a customer had stopped off at my husband's job and given him. When he shared that information with me, the first thought that popped in my head was: "Here goes...	Wilted	5	546	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	It's been quite a week! (Preview) Last Wed. my son and his new girlfriend came to town to spend a week here with me which was exciting because I have not seen him in 5 months (first time he's ever been away) and it was the first time I'd be meeting her. And that Saturday my oldest daughter and her 6 yr. old daughter came to to...	jaja	3	463	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	sorry for the post (Preview) sorry for adding the post again,i didnt see that it came on cause im not on my computer,sorry	bev	1	572	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	anyone there who is an a and an al-anon? (Preview) hi all i am new to this format and am looking to get some experience strength and hope from al-anon.i have 9.5 years clean from chemicals( no drugs etoh) BUT my husband is an active and really sick drunk. how is that for twisted?I didnt get enuf pain torturing myself I had to stay w a active drinker.i was...	gr8tful	4	535	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	Hard Day...Hard Share (Preview) I have come to realize that I work with dishonest people. People I don't trust. This realization is really bothersome. It is hurting me. It is not a safe place for my spirit. I feel as if I am the only one working and even sacrificing to get the job done. Like they know if I am there the job will g...	Leetle	4	598	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	Chaos theory (Preview) One other issue that really came up for me when I was reading "The Glass Castle" was the constant chaos. That is how I lived as a child. That is also pretty much how I have lived as an adult. When I meet someone who also lives in constant chaos there is no red flags. Where I work is constant chaos....	maresie2	1	760	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	Should I Offer An Olive Branch To My AH? (Preview) I have not spoken to my AH since December 26 because of a heated falling out and I made a conscience decision to completely detatch from him and my life has been so much better since then, not perfect but so much more peaceful. After going to my first Al-Anon meeting and reading posts here I am wondering if...	kellygirl	8	598	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	6 week check up uuggghhh (Preview) ((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))) Well I thought I would give you an update on my six week check post surgery. I told the Doc that I have been having some pain again and it’s like the original pain. He told me that it’s either ANOTHER disc or permanent damage. I have to go for another MRI sometime in Mar...	shadow1	10	604	Feb 3, 2007 by bubbles1990
	Angerrrrrr!!!!! (Preview) I'm soooo angry right now. I'm mot usually the one who screams and shouts. I bottle up things inside and be the doormat person. but today, he put the last straw on this camel. I yelled back at him. told his how hurtful he was, and that he isn't the only one hurt in this relationship. then I walk...	chauri	2	477	Feb 3, 2007 by 4LLCandMe
	Ugh, Hubby's lawyer may have helped him out of going to treatment (Preview) Hi all, Well my hubby called me from the pokey on Tuesday. He had met with his lawyer for one of his old charges (DUI, not following through with treatment). Before that point he met with this lawyer he was going to ask for whatever time the judge wanted to close the case and was also going to request that he...	Dolphin123	11	642	Feb 3, 2007 by Grace2
	Hitting their bottom (Preview) I think it happened. I truly can't tell you if this was it or not. It seemed like it. I almost left him on Sunday after a war of the worlds (or words!) again. I was completely done with the emotional abuse. Then came the drink after being sober for a couple of weeks. It was his first hard try, I almost kne...	texsmama	4	576	Feb 3, 2007 by 4LLCandMe
	a fresh start? (Preview) Hi all, i'm new here, but i've been attending al-anon meetings for almost 11 months now. some background info b4 i continue...i've been in a relationship with an addict for over 8 years now, our 3rd wedding anniversary will be in the fall. we now have 2 girls, 10 yrs (from a previous re...	4LLCandMe	6	595	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	I started it (Preview) I don't know what is wrong with me, I know what things set him off and I know that I have to just back off. Is that right? I am still trying to live with this guy and it is so hard. I came home after being gone all day and he was sitting on the computer. I told him I had to use it and he let me, but it was moving so sl...	RainyJamie	7	501	Feb 3, 2007 by Maria123
	He's in jail...again (Preview) Just when everything seemed to be mellowing out, he had a place to stay, a job and was paying support and seeing the kids...all hell breaks loose again. Maybe that is just my dramatic rendition of the story. Anyway, last week I was on the fence going back and forth about giving him another chance, etc a...	carolinagirl	3	687	Feb 3, 2007 by Maria123
	Seeing myself in others (at work) (Preview) For most of my life I have believed that I was never part of the problem at work. I have really bought into that I had an awful supervisors (and I had some doozys) and terrible co workers and really bad environments. I started a new job recently (albeit a temporary job) I can never quite muster up to gettin...	maresie2	1	494	Feb 3, 2007 by gardengal
	Should I have stayed (Preview) I'm struggling lately with whether I should have stayed living with my ex(A) or moved back in with him -would that have solved things. Because even though we have been apart a year now almost to the day, we are still arguing over drinking, he is still drinking. It's like the same stuff as when...	mama_nz	4	563	Feb 3, 2007 by lin0606
	Update - AH still gone but not exactly missing! (Preview) Ok - so as of this morning....my AH has been gone for one solid week. Off smoking his crack, probably feeling sorry for himself. Boo hoo. Yea right! I know he is alive for 2 reasons.....I can track his credit card cash advances to know he is still withdrawing money. AND he called his sister last night a...	QOD	7	506	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Second Guessing Myself...Please Help (Preview) Since I attended my first Al-Anon meeting this week, a whole host of feelings have emerged within me...a lot of good, but some bad. The most prevelant feeling I have been getting is "Is My H Really An Alcoholic?" I know that when he was living at home with us he was, but he has been gone since l...	kellygirl	5	654	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	The Awakening.... (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) Not long after I got here, someone posted this for me. I don't really know where it comes from, but I saved it. I read these things I have saved over time when I am feeling a need and I decided with all the new members here lately that someone may want to read it. Hope you enjoy it...	rtexas	6	538	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	i was just sitting here minding my own my business when.........., (Preview) i was just sitting here minding my own business when........, my husband walked in last night with our one year old grandaughter. i looked at him and i said, ''what's this?'' i was feeling exhausted but quite proud of myself because i had managed to straighten up the house and co...	jewely	6	570	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	I must be a sucker for punishment (Preview) My ex (A) emailed me to say he's sorry, that it hurts him like hell that I don't want to be with him anymore and that he had lots he still wanted to say and he hopes to hear from me. Well curiosity got the better of me and I ended up calling him tonight, and woah what a mistake that was. I was the one that...	mama_nz	6	648	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Still doing pretty good (Preview) Well I'm still doing pretty good. Haven't talked to the A since I dropped him off Saturday night at his sponsor's house (where he currently resides). I have thought about calling but then thought why bother. Of course when I do call he'll say it's only because I want my child s...	carolinagirl	3	491	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Sorry is not a 4-letter word (Preview) So, after last weekend's incident with my ex (A) (drinking again) he's now emailed me to say sorry. I pulled the phone out of the wall the day after it happened -more to stop myself from calling him and giving him a piece of my mind, and so I wouldn't be tempted to talk if he called. I've...	mama_nz	5	877	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	The guilt passes onto to everyone (Preview) (((MIP Friends))) This week has been a challenging week. Still no work for my AH. I have been working short hours at work so that I can be available for the kids because I could not put them in daycare this week either. I did this so that my AH could work. He has now had to resort to day labor; which to say t...	twinmom2	6	661	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	My AH took a big step last night (Preview) (((Happy Friday MIP Friends))) My AH went to a first time individual session with our therapist last night. I did well with detaching emotionally and just giving over my hopes and fears to HP. I simply asked if the session went o.k. but did not ask him to get into details. Later on he told me on his ow...	twinmom2	4	570	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Four Weeks Ago Today...(Smiles) (Preview) Hi everyone!!! I'm just poppin' in to say "howdy ya'll"...it's been 4 weeks ago today that I left my AH...and to let ya's know I'm doing well. I don't have a job yet, but that will come in time. My last paycheck from the bus driving job was wayyyyyy more...	afmom03	4	568	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	He's going to start "seeing other people" (Preview) Well AH came over last Friday and stayed till Sat. and I could barely stand that long. First about 10 mins after he got in the car he asked if we were going to get back together or not (I'm afraid if I say no the support will stop and if I say yes I'm setting myself up) so I say I don't know. He says...	carolinagirl	7	961	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Holding myself back (Preview) (((Friends))) I had a thought this morning that I wanted to share with the group. Maybe someone else is experiencing this as well. Today's courage to Change was about doing what is best for my life, living my life the way I want it and giving myself what I need to be happy. Thinking about this sent...	twinmom2	4	606	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Update (Preview) I have not been posting much because (a) I did not have the internet at home (the A allowed the service to be cut off. For me that used to be a sticking point. I would go "off" on the a when it was down. This time I did not and it was pretty hard to manage the resentments and the difficulty of using th...	maresie2	0	415	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	marisie (Preview) mary I hope I was not too tough on you!!! please come back and post I am concerned!!!! I do not trust your A at all!!! love,debilyn	debilyn	1	442	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Sponsor conflict (Preview) I of course left out the part of the conversation that disturbed me the most because it is literally stuck inside my head. he said that he wanted to drag me behind his truck. This is what I had found so disturbing, knowing our background. Those are pretty strong words.	Riley	3	491	Feb 3, 2007 by Serenity
	step 1 (Preview) cant seem to accomplish step 1! what the h#ll is wrong with me?? I keep brushing dirt under the carpet thinking the pain will go away. My a is out of control and trying to take his family down with him. I'm on my way and am so good at denial. By the way, any idea why I turned into a massive control freak?:fu...	mandy	6	631	Feb 2, 2007 by sharky
	i moved (Preview) hi all i finally did it i moved..after i left my AH sold everything in the house for crack,and beer thern to make things worse my monthly settlement check to the house instead of coming here in ny{i had the addy changed and everything and also in formed the bank about him trying to cash my check if it goes th...	bev	2	481	Feb 2, 2007 by bev
	Feeling better today. All dressed, and ready for "lunch." (Preview) Ok, I admit I am excited, which is a good thing considering how scared and concerned I have been over my recent "event." I'll let you all know about the Bad, Bad One when I get home. His voice sounds the same...husky and sexy...Ah, what fun!!!! Of course I know that I must take life easy fo...	Diva	5	725	Feb 2, 2007 by Maria123
	i left (Preview) well i left florida.on friday..AH tried to call my daughter but they wouldnt talk to him..on friday before we eft my daughter and son in law went back to the house to get my son in laws car and trailor,when they got there my daughter went in the house and everything was gone even his truck,but he was there e...	bev	8	539	Feb 2, 2007 by carol
	What books would you recommend? (Preview) What books would you recommend Beginners read first? Wilted	Wilted	5	627	Feb 2, 2007 by lin0606
	letting go and letting God (Preview) Hi all, this is my first time on this. Just logged in. We are in the process of moving. Of course, my A can't help much. Some days he tries Some days it's been bad. So much clutter and mess. I feel over whelmed. I'm trying to apply the tool Letting go and letting god .... Some things are hard t...	chauri	4	579	Feb 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	Stepping forward.... (Preview) Last Friday I attended my first face to face Al-Anon meeting and today I am going to my first Codependency meeting. After just "sitting still" for so long, I feel that I am finally taking some positive steps forward and there is a peace in my spirit that I haven't felt in quite awhile. I kn...	Wilted	5	559	Feb 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	Question... (Preview) I am only on step 3...made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. Sometimes, I feel I still have to remember step 1, I am powerless over alcohol... Some of the al anon support I have received, tell me that it is ok for me to set boundaries. So, with the Super Bowl coming up, my AH told m...	DeeDee	3	531	Feb 2, 2007 by Rita G
	can you tell me how??? (Preview) can you tell me how to get into the step work board??? thanks jewely	jewely	2	459	Feb 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	Something New to be Powerless over.... (Preview) (((((Everyone)))) So over the past year I have struggled to understand and surrender to the fact that my wifes drinking is beyond my control. Just when I get a handle on that... she has appearantly started going to the outpatient treatment program here in town. I say appearantly because I don'...	rtexas	9	636	Feb 2, 2007 by emma
	Bad, Bad, Bill (Preview) He'll be here late this evening. We have a quiet lunch planned for tomorrow. Very close by so that I don't have to exert too much effort. What a hell of a time to have a heart episode!!!! LOL!! Diva	Diva	4	507	Feb 2, 2007 by leo
	I have hope (Preview) I have been thinking that I am probably just holding on to my A because he's a good fallback which isn't fair to me or him. I have hope for the future of meeting someone someday who is totally into me and treats me like a precious gem not a doormat. I'm so sick of men not doing what they say they...	carolinagirl	3	673	Feb 2, 2007 by Jerry F
	Sponsor conflict (Preview) My husband is one of my many qualifiers, he has now been sober for two years, 1 month and two, days. I am having difficulty feeling safe and grounded. My husband and I have had several very personal conversations regarding my family, his sponsor had brought them up to me in a way that he thought was humoro...	Riley	10	803	Feb 2, 2007 by Serenity
	So tomorrows GroundHog day.... (Preview) (((((Everyone)))))) In one of my F2F meetings someone had a very interesting share. Do you remember the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? He was a news anchor person who was being a real butthead and relived the same day over and over and over again until he got it right. How often does that happen...	rtexas	8	693	Feb 2, 2007 by CJ
	another sign of crack use (Preview) my ex kindly shared with me at some point in our life together that crack addicts break off the antena on cars to clean their pipes. i think he was proud that he never did that to our car. lol! also, steel wool. used as a screen. and the singed eyelases or eyebrows. i so wish i didn't know these things.	serendipity	7	622	Feb 1, 2007 by serendipity
	I think I'm starting to get it! (Preview) Hi, I'm a newbie. I actually posted an intro back in November or so. I went and picked up a few books that some of you recommended: Getting them Sober, Marriage on the Rocks, and Codependent No More. I haven't posted since then b/c I've spent most of my meager spare time reading - I litera...	sharky	8	560	Feb 1, 2007 by sharky
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