The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It has been awhile, been visiting and reading but not posting.
My Ah will die of alcoholism. There it's said. I have done everything I can. So has his family. He had a withdrawel seizure at work and was taken to the hospital. Low blood count(30,000) it should be 100,000 min, fatty liver, easy bruising.He went back but Librium has made him drowsy at work, he fell asleep( new job mind you, there a month) and they told him not to come in again without a doctors note. He went today, doctor cleared him, blood count up and he is drunk again tonight. He will withdraw violently again, if he stops at all. He has never lost a job to "drink". There is always a first with these A's, there seems to be no bottom for him. I feel in my gut that his bottom will be the grave.
Any way, I got a small raise at work and a couple more hours a week, it is hectic but ok. Some may remember my last post about my daughter, she got drunk, well it seems to have been growing pains. She was home over college break, no drinking, took and paid for her online course, got an A in it,paid for her medical bill(from drunk) and is going for some counceling for lifes issues,as she calls it. I'm hopeful it was a one time deal, and thankful for the peace of mind that comes with that. My other college age daughter is doing well. No b.s. yet, thank goodness, she calls me every morning and night. I miss them both so much, breaks are good to have them home but I am lonely when they go back. My son is such a joy to me, he keeps me going. He is so much fun. 10 is a fun age.
I feel its time to "cut the rope" with AH but I can't. Its funny how I read posts here and think, thank God thats not my life with my AH, and the next week it is my life with AH. I have to keep remembering that.
The A I live with had many many issues at work some from a medical condition he has. He also has chronic hepatitis and is on medication for that too. One huge turning point for me was when the A had a suspected heart attack I did not rush over to the hospital to see him and take care of him. I've rescued myself to the bottom with his issues. I did respond but I did not over respond.
I no longer beat myself up about cutting the rope or holding onto the rope or whatever. I also don't much think about what will and won't be the A's bottom. His bottom is no longer my business, before it was my life.
