One other issue that really came up for me when I was reading "The Glass Castle" was the constant chaos.  That is how I lived as a child. That is also pretty much how I have lived as an adult. When I meet someone who also lives in constant chaos there is no red flags. Where I work is constant chaos.  I am uncomfortable with that. I used to totally thrive in chaos.  Now I manage but I don't like it.

I'm doing better personally in chaos (plan b helps in identifying what I need to do to well...move..) Nevertheless for me fixing things for others (never myself) is still a real core issue.  I still want to fix the A, fix everyone around me at work and more.  Of course if work were more functional it would help...but I don't just want to fix I want to obsess.

I think for me the chaos feeds it all.  I am working on living in less chaos (hard when you live with an A).  I am working on me and my own projects and my own goals.  I don't include the A in any of them.  I can't rely on him so why try?  I did make a road trip with him recently it reminded me of why I don't do it more often.  I did enjoy some aspects of it but I felt exhausted afterwards.  That is pretty much how I spent my childhood, exhausted from the chaos, depressed, desperate and feeling very very alone.  I carry that with me day in day out.
I'd like to lay it down and process it and move onto freedom but of course I am nowhere near that yet.
Maresie