Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Ugh, Hubby's lawyer may have helped him out of going to treatment


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1328
Date:
Ugh, Hubby's lawyer may have helped him out of going to treatment


Hi all,

Well my hubby called me from the pokey on Tuesday. He had met with his lawyer for one of his old charges (DUI, not following through with treatment). Before that point he met with this lawyer he was going to ask for whatever time the judge wanted to close the case and was also going to request that he be able to attend a lockdown treatment facility for part of that time. The lawyer told him that he didn't need treatment, and that he could get the case closed. He is even going to postpone the court date until the current judge in the rotation switches to the next one up in the rotation, so he can get the case closed with no extra time served and no additional treatment.

Okay, well not really. This man is an idiot. My husband is serving time because he has 3 DUIs. 2 in 1999 and 1 in 2003. He has never followed through with the court ordered treatment process. He has gone to treatment once on his own, and another when he was picked up 2 years ago shootin up dope on the streets of Seattle. He was arrested and sent to the lock down facility that he was going to request to go again.

He is detoxing at this moment and the lawyer doesn't think he needs treatment. I understand that this man has a job to do, but hello! If he would have looked at my husband's record he would see that he is a habitual offender, who is he to tell someone they don't need treatment. Telling him he is just a guy who made a few mistakes. Wrong, my husband is an addict that has only been caught driving under the influence 3 times; he has driven under the influence more than that.

What frightens me is how many other people are out there waiting for the right judge to come up so this guy can twist the law around and get what he thinks is best for his client. How many other people has this lawyer helped to skip treatment?

I would love to give this man a piece of my mind. I am one pissed off red head.

But----

Am I really mad at the lawyer? Well a little. I am mostly angry with my hubby, for taking the easy way out again. Upset that the addict is still in control.  

Me, I am praying about this. Praying that the judge doesn't go for this. Trying to let it go. But I know it is okay to experience the emotions as long as I don't let them own me. I am human and emotions are natural.

I will no longer listen to his words, but I will watch his behavior and actions, that is where the truth lies.

I know HP is stronger than all of this and that HP has me, my children, and my hubby in his more than capable hands.

:) But I still would like to have a chat with that lawyer.

Yours in recovery,
Mandy



__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 311
Date:

If you don't want to be mad at the lawyer that's OK...I'll be mad at him for you.

Jamie 



__________________
I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1491
Date:

geez I guess Louisiana isn't the only place with the good ole boy system in place - this sounds like some of the stuff that would happen to my ah during the active yrs - he still has a lot of contacts so then people still call him to get out of "trouble" - tickets, jail, wrecks, etc . . .
I have to constantly turn this over to my HP - resent that most of us have to law abiding citizens while a few seem to get away with picking & choosing what laws they will obey or disobey.  Powerless again.  darnit. 

Have to trust that the God of my understanding has a plan & although I may not see it or understand it - He is asking me to do my part & let Him do the rest.

wishing you a day of peace,
Rita

__________________

No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK - teamwork.gif



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3656
Date:

(((((Mandy)))))))),

Excuse me? Did I read this right?  I need to borrow Christy's bifocals along with mine.  He doesn't need treatment?  I would have a talk with that lawyer.  Can you switch him or does hubby have to fire his lawyer?  I'm guessing this lawyer doesn't have any addiction in his family, or if he does then something else is going on?  What's stopping you from talking to him? It scares me to think that the way the judicial system works how many people who have needed help have not got it because of the way things are set up.

Well I'm sending you all the love and prayers I can.  I pray the judge sees through this. Sometimes the only way they get the treatment they need is when it is forced upon them.  You're doing great.  I admire your patience.  I am not sure I would stay some calm and collected.

Love and blessings to you and your family.

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty


__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1990
Date:

Lawyer is just doing his job trying to get the best deal for his client.  In my experience in Pierce county they try to get people into rehab instead of jail for the most part.  I don't know about king county, much bigger, more people to deal with.  I bet my hubby knows your hubby he used to romp in seattle shooting up.  Ahhh the good old days LOL.  Maybe you could call the prosecutor and ask if they could offer treatment instead of jail time????  Now it IS their job to get him to jail or treatment!!!

__________________

Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1328
Date:

Carolinagirl,
Wow you are close. I actually live in Kitsap County, he just ventured over to the other side of the water for the dope.




Actually all I am trying to do is figure out HP's will and what I need to do.

Mandy

__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
CJ


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 757
Date:

okay, hens, now, in Thurston County, judges will see the multiple violations and crack the whip.  nice to know ya guys are close by

oh, and as for the post... You are angry? Angry at A and lawyer? why? do you drink poison on weekdays? what kind of control are you wanting to have over those people? and why? do you want to judge, jury, convict and sentence?  food for thought --

with love
cj

-- Edited by CJ at 00:55, 2007-02-02

__________________
time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 17
Date:

How about this one? My friend's son is in prison. He would rather go to prison than to treatment! The lawyer recommended treatment, but he has to do what the client wants. My friend's son is only 21 and she (my friend) is paying for the attorney. She can't be in on the meetings with the attorney since he is 21 and he doesn't want his mom there. I thought maybe this kid hit his bottom, but guess what? He is being the ideal prisoner and so he may go to a halfway house now instead of a treatment program in another prison in another town! If he is in the halfway house, he can work all day and just sleep there at night and only go to one AA meeting a week. I am shocked, yet this 21 year old is a manipulator. He has been in treatment 3 times and each time just hung in for the 30 days. It is a game to him even though he now has 3 felonies. I am angry that the prison or whoever is offering him this option to not go to treatment as the judge ordered. The reason why he may not go to treatment is there is not a place for him. It is overcrowded. So much for being happy he may have hit bottom. Once again, he beat the system and will be out again soon doing and selling meth. How sad it is! Serenity

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1382
Date:

Hi Mandy,

I'm glad you have brought up this topic. Lately I have seen on the news a story that has bothered me and I have not addressed it in my mind.

There was an accident before the holidays, 2 vehicles, a family of 5 and 1 man. The man was driving under the infuence, his 8th time, had 7 parole violations in the past 8 months 4 of them alcohol related, and somehow had purchased the truck he was driving less than 24 hours prior from a car dealership without a license. The family he hit are all alive, the father just got home from the hospital yesterday, the mother has lasting injuries also, the children are all well, thankfully.

The news here is roasting this man. I keep thinking to myself, what about the system that released him early from prison the last time, what about the kind parole officer who let the 7 violations go without penalty, how many alcohol related violations do you need before being sent to treatment?

I'm a little disgusted with our legal system and the people who manipulate it at the moment too. I know my A will use lawyers and manipulate the system if he can, it's out of my hands and I am glad I do not work in that field.

You're in my thoughts and prayers. Keep taking care of you.

Jennifer






__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 129
Date:

((Dolphin))


Interesting how the system works.  Recently saw on that show Intervention something that could explain things.  A female addict and prostitute was facing jail time for something (don't remember what) and she was given the option of treatment (9 months) or jail time (3 months).  Given human nature what it is she took the shorter time.  Judges shouldn't offer shorter jail time as compared to treatment if they really want the person to pick the treatment option in my opinion.

Right now A is awaiting a pretrial conference date on his pending DWI from November.  He had a DWI summer before last which was pleaded down to a driving while impaired.  That was possible then in NY because the law looked at convictions in other states as driving infractions only.  As of Nov 1st the law was changed.  Given that, NY has now looked back into A's past and found his last conviction in RI to have taken place 9 years 11 months ago.  One month short of the 10 year cutoff.  Thus he is facing a felony DWI conviction right now.  I hope for treatment over jail time but if they offer him jail time which would be shorter incarceration than treatment I can't say he will take the treatment option either. 

A is currently sober since Thanksgiving and seeing an individual counsellor once a week.  He is also attending some AA meetings.  Only time will tell how this all ends up and as hard as it is all I can do is hand it off to my HP.

Lisa

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1718
Date:

The A I live with can be such a great wedger. He can always find something to wedge between us.  This week its a guy he works with. I try not to get into it anymore.

There are lots of lawyers out there. They all have their own opinions. I think when I am in that red raw place where I am on overwhelm I just go into total over reaction all the time.  One spirals into another. I have to get back to that place of regrouping. For me its so essential to regroup. If I'm in over react mode I'm just on a chain down hill.

Maresie.

__________________
maresie


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 6
Date:

Welcome to the real world of maybe justice, maybe not.  I personally have no faith in the legal system.  My faith has to come back to my HP.  However, it is OK for you to be angry when you realize that "birds of a feather flock together".  A's protect A's as well, they protect "their" rights within the confines of law....be it the officer, atty, da, judge etc etc.  It goes all the way up through our elected officials and lobbying.   I believe it to be only a normal human response to what SHOULD be sentencing for the betterment of the individual AND society.

Another topic for another day.  Has nothing to do with "wanting to control" in my view.  Come work in my vent unit and see the vent dependent quads from being hit by dui's.  Young adults, some whose marriages do not stand up to the pressures and stresses they now face from some "good ol boy" out on the town.  To those who might think this is an issue of the poster wanting to "control" and it being her problem, not the A's or judicial system, I disagree.  I totally understand the sentiment and the need to process through this realization.

Best regards to you.
Grace


__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.