The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For most of my life I have believed that I was never part of the problem at work. I have really bought into that I had an awful supervisors (and I had some doozys) and terrible co workers and really bad environments.
I started a new job recently (albeit a temporary job) I can never quite muster up to getting the real job with real benefits and real pay and that is a whole other issue. I never did see my part in over reacting, perfectionism, martyrism, over commiting, under commiting, leaving work for others (not being a team player) and sabataging others as well as all the petty sniping that can go on.
I know for years I really did believe I was a true team player (hee hee!). The A is one small part of my many issues. I would love to focus it all on him and he is definitely a player in my life but I know if and when my plan b executes I will have many many other issues to work on.
Of course for once I am also not trying to convert my coworkers to recovery either (that is a first) and I am merely focusing on myself and my issues (which is a whole plateful in itself).
Your post brought to mind,,,,,,exactly the way I was when I started my new job, and was living with my active AH. Oh what a great actress I was pretending the outside world for me was "OK". I could have won an academy award! As I kept attending alanon, I too wanted to share the 'wealth" from what I was learning...and yell it to the world! Wrong! I began to fake it til I made it when coming to work, just doing my job the best I could and then leaving. I found that actions speak louder than words , so I began just becoming a so called better worker,,,,minding my own business,, no gossiping as there is so much in work places. I would not participate in anyones negativity to bring myself down, but used the alanon principles by walking away or changing the subject etc. I found myself slowly becoming the person i would like to be at work, well liked and doing a good job with whatever it was. The "bosses" noticed and quicker than most I moved up the corporate ladder and now am "the team leader/department head". Leaving my crap at home where it belonged and focussed strictly at the task at hand at work gave me more control of my emotions of my daily life outside the workplace. I remember in those dark days of my living with the A , and coming to work,,,I would say to myself I will leave all the crap of my home life at the outside of the door of my work,,,it seemed to have helped and I have done that ever since.....Thought I would share to show you that you are not alone,,,,,,and you can become anything you want to if you work at it! Good luck.............................gardengal
