Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

twinkie · twinkie

So i'm really working my program to detach with love and let the A have the diginity of finding his own bottom and reaching out for help when he is ready. But, I find myself now trying to get in there with his mother and control her. I've watched her run over to his house, take his keys, convince him to go to...

lilms · lilms

((((mip family)))))) Do you all remember this rhyme "Hey diddle diddle The cat and the fiddle The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun And the dish ran away with the spoon." Okay, so now I have answered the missing sock, spoon and dish mystery. I think I need a v...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well this past week has been one nightmare after another and I am just going to dump it all right here and whatever may be may be. First, this weekend I was deleting files from my mp3 player and somehow (I swear I didn't do it) all the folders were deleted and now I can't put anything on it or figure out how to...

maresie2 · maresie2

I know at times I used to feel superior to the A. I used to feel I knew exactly what he needed to do in order to move to another place. I know this week I went on overwhelm for a while. I had an asthma attack and I go into real fear over my health. A friend who was well meaning started telling what I needed to...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Friends))) Things in my life are moving along at a calm and steady pace at this time; which has been really nice. Everything is still up in the air financially. I have done everything I can do at this time to get myself on a better path of financial freedom, now I just have to let HP handle the detai...

serendipity · serendipity

I am working hard on my serenity. I am using the heck out of my tools and hitting a meeting everyday. I hear what I need to hear and it is keeping me from being lonley and feeling sorry for myself. I am feeling pretty good. I am still driving the long way home so as not to drive by "her" house. I am...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

This is something with my mom I've thought alot about...hope it helps some of you out there... I left because there was no room for me. But you could tell me not to go. Say it to me. Tell me not to go. --Stephen Sondheim Sunday in the Park with George To leave someone we love is to knowingly break a vital conne...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi all, I's me, Lee Ann. I've been gone for several months. Not gone, just not here -- in the rooms. Not sure why.. just let my life take over and slowly meetings and readings have slipped and so have I. Oh, I've been holding it together... ever feel like that "Incredibles" Elasta-Girl mo...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Buried 'aliens' are really tree trunks 2 hours, 42 minutes ago KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Malaysians in a northern village were alarmed by rumors that space aliens had been laid to rest in their neighborhood cemetery, but authorities learned the graves had merely been filled with banana tree trunks f...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

We fear to trust our wings. We plume and feather them, but dare not throw our weight upon them. We ding too often to the perch. --Charles B. Newcomb Even before it has learned to fly; a baby bird is pushed from its nest. It will totter upon the ground, stubby wings outstretched from its body, following the...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Thought I would introduce myself. My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence, both as an alcoholic myself, and as a loved one of an alcoholic. I have been in my own recovery from alcoholism since August 5, 1990. I have a daughter who is now 29 and an active alcoholic. She is currently in jail...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

It might be better for us to go to a Spanish one next time - the only reason we didn't is bc the only Spanish one is an hour away and by the time I get off work it'd be too late - he missed out on going to that one last Sunday bc of the came. I have to admit, environment was a bit unnerving at first. My husband was th...

QOD · QOD

So here is the situation. I am taking martial arts w/my son and daughter. My AH started taking it last fall but only made it to a handful of classes. I have asked him over and over to rejoin so that he can spend more time with us and we will bond more. He refuses. He always comes up w/an excuses. He gets m...

bill f · bill f

I am on the merry-go-round again with my wife. I have a very needy program that I have been battling for a long time. "Poor me" has always worked well, but seems to morphing into defensiveness and anger when I choose to not do it that way. It started out with me having an expectation that she w...

Miranda · Miranda

I know I haven't been on in a really long time...but that's what I get for having twins and 3 other children running around. Anyways I had planned to come on the other day to update on how things were going, because I was happy...for once I was happy, I have my own apartment with the kids, and things were st...

maresie2 · maresie2

The house I live in has several alcoholics in actually. There is the quiet seething one, the erupting one who is apologetic at times and there are the two totally out of control anti social ones. It is remarkabel to watch other people's response to them. I spoke to the manager yesterday and she spoke abo...

QOD · QOD

It has been several months since my AH has been home. His last binge was back in Feb. He was gone for a month. If you read my post from last Friday, you'll know that my AH got mad at me for being at my martial arts classes for 3 hours on Thurs night vs. sitting at home with him. One of my friends said it sounded...

twinkie · twinkie

Has anyone any insight into watching your loved A hit his bottom? It is everything I can do to stand true to my boundaries; 1/that we can not talk on the phone when he is drunk and 2/ more importantly that he needs to be sober for 30 days and then we can get together. He has been drinking non-stop (bingi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have debated on whether to post for about 3 weeks now. Namely because I've got enough garbage in my head to open a new toxic waste dump. Namely because my disease is convincing me you'll not understand, and worse, judge me and ostracize me. Why I think this, I have no idea. These past 3 weeks have been m...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

AH got off work early bc of rain so we're going tonight! I'll letyall know how it goes tomorrow. I just hope I don't crumble into tears in front of them all on the first mtg. I am not so good at holding in my emotions these days - esp when it comes to AH. Deep breaths....

annmarie · annmarie

My sister is getting married to the father of her young son. She has not invited me to the wedding. Reason, we don't speak because I found out she had a brief affair with myA a few years ago. (My sister is a drinker too, thats how they got together I think) Anyway, depsite being very hurt at the whole thing, I...

mosaicmax · mosaicmax

Is there a list of abbreviations somewhere?? Aside from board talk, I struggled this weekend. I caught myself searching for drug paraphenalia yesterday, and had to quickly distract myself from obsessing about his recovery. I know better, but I just couldn't resist. Funny how ala-non has helped me...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

We Miss You Dear Addict, We're grazing in a field of lies, Flirting with an empty love. We've tried to get back just a little bit, Anything of what once was. We want so much to bring back, The soul that's lost it's purpose. Your mind that's bent on weekends of binging, Is so hard to understand. Missing you d...

gardengal · gardengal

When we are dealing with an alcoholic, we certainly overlook and take for granted things that life offers for free. Making a list of what we are grateful for sometimes can enlighten a serious situation, and remove us for a short while from the insanity this disease creates. Just for Today can you sit b...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))I have been sitting all day trying to fina a solution to my problem, of a relationship..This is the same on-going guy in my life ((recoveringA))Can anyone offer any wisdom....should I let him see this, and hope we can sort this, once and for all...Its killing me!!...

Katy · Katy

Do any of you wimmin struggle more during, "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH", to keep it together, I'm asking because, I seem very unbalanced around this time, I'm trying to fake it till I make it, but it's ever so hard, because I'm very emotional and find it very testing not to lose it at this time, I...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex was working for this older, sick woman in the program. She came to love and trust him very,very much. She was similar to my mom in that she just leaves important things like credit cards laying around. I remember him telling me he found a pile of her credit cards like 25 of them that weren't expired....

Kim65 · Kim65

I just downloaded all the bank statements from the last two years for my lawyer. I've received feedback out my ears that I am a strong woman, tough, brave, etc. I appreciate that, and in many ways, I am strong tough and brave. But not when it comes to money. The concrete reality of what my A has spent on dr...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((All))) I kinda wish this was a more important post about the forks in the roads of life or something but it is not .... I have a question about plain old tableware. And I freely admit I have been obsessed with this question for at least a couple of years now. I even tried giving it up to my HP, helped o...

Rita G · Rita G

MIP Family, I am taking a small vacation with my Mom, granddaughter & niece this week. I will be in Elizabethtown, Kentucky on Friday 6/29 and hope to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I love attending meetings when out of town - meeting new friends in recovery is always great fun. Anyway, I was just won...

lilms · lilms

(((((Friends))))) In answer to where do the missing socks go. This is where dryer lint comes from. lilms

serendipity · serendipity

I did write the woman a letter ( see last post) and explained what the situation with my ex, my mother, and her credit cards. I also called a friend in AA and he said call her. So, I did leave her a message also. Now, she has been informed and hopefully will be protected. I really took all of your posts into con...

gknee · gknee

I must comment on my f2f meeting I attended Friday. I was the happiest person in the room! I left just shaking my head. When I came home and AH says "How was your meeting?" and I told him my observation, he said- "Welcome to my world" Him being in AA and me going to A...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

Seems to me that the more my AH loses control with his own life the more he wants to control mine. He told me on Saturday that our marriage would be fine if I just allowed him access to my cell phone and my email account. I told him it wasn't going to happen. The way to have a good marriage is to trust one ano...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

So yeah, AH said we were going on Sunday - but guess what - NO. He left Saturday night and didn't come back. Said he wanted to watch the MEX v. USA soccer game on Sunday & knew if he stayed I'd expect him to go to the meeting. He was all please don't be mad - seemed pretty sincere abt the whole thing, didn...

serendipity · serendipity

sober-less-than-a-year-and-involved-with-a-new-relationship.

jaja · jaja

And it's good to know we can here and get them when we need them! I could not sleep much last night because I could not get the stuff I posted about last night off my mind. Plus, I had too much caffiene and nictotene so it's my own fault. But I so appreciated response from those of you who did and I was able...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

As sincere as AH seems to be abt wanting to change, and knowing his alcoholic behavior IS a disease - I still feel many times that I'm being "groomed" or bribed for sex. He will tell me how sorry he, hug me, how much he wants to get better...etc. With the way things have been - I'm so tired of bei...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) I'm back from a week of Girl Scout camp-- bug bites, sunburn and a serious case of hat head LOL. It was a good week. I've worked camp the last 6 yrs. and love it -- it gives me a lot of joy. Anyhow, I wish I could go on and on about how good life is, only it isn't. I'm so flipping frustrated....

twinkie · twinkie

I could use some ESH. My A is a binger and for the past year whenever he drank,we always called them relapses. Truth is, it is and has always been his addiction as he has not embraced a recovery program. Having come out of my denial and hit my bottom with our interaction and my sickness to "get him...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I went to the visit on Friday, despite a letter not coming in the mailbox. I was determined to do it I suppose. It was ok, I was kind of mean (from his perspective) guess it was really just brutal honesty. I laughed at him a few times. It would be easier if we didn't have good rapport. Anyway, I was glad I...

jaja · jaja

You know we can fluctuate at times in dealing with our A's. Guess I'm going through another one of those times and my mother is getting on my nerves as well. About a month or so ago I told my A I was going to go ahead with a divorce since we didn't seem to getting anywhere in this relationship. But, with noth...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Almost exactly 2 years ago my AH pulled out onto a busy street and slammed into a car he didn't see coming. He was sober, we were fully covered. We weren't charged with anything at the time. He was very sorry about it. About a week later he told me the lady he hit was claiming an injury. He felt bad about it be...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

About this time last year we got into some car issues that I believe the A has handled very poorly. I have backed off for the most part, but wait, I guess I didn't. I have reasoned and nudged and nagged and fought and cried. I don't have a driver's liscence, he is the only driver. Our nice, reliable car took a...

still searching · still searching

things had been good for awhile...but this past week of dealing (or trying too) deal with his ridiculas behavior has made me say enough. I have told him that he needs to leave, if he doesn't leave I told him that I will pack his stuff and take it out of the house. If he was just drinking that would be one thi...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

If anyone read my last post, then you know I have had an experience that spun me around like a merry go round, set on 100 x the speed it is normally supposed to go. God. I let him in--was lonely---should have come here instead. Thanks to the 3 who replied to my last post. This event has definately been an ex...

ReUnited · ReUnited

Hi, I found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading which has been very encouraging. I'm feeling like I need some reinforcement for what I know is the best thing for me to do, isn't that silly that I would need reinforcement for what I know is right? Long story short, I was married to a function...

mom to 2 · mom to 2

A little history---39 year old husband struggling with addiction for 2 years. In and out of sobriety for 2 years. Presently dealing with some serious legal consequences. I found this today---I haven't heard from him since yesterday at 5p. Here goes... It's at these times that I truly believe th...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))))) I was told by someone today, my life was a "saga".....With my ongoing relationship.....wow How did I feel.....Angry, Hurt, Humiliated..... Let me ask you a question? I have an A in my life......Like most of you all. I am not married to hi...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

When my ah wouldn't come to the ER when I was miscarrying and he said some nasty nasty things to me on the phone, that gave me strength to call and get the divorce papers going. How could he love me and say such horrible things to me. A few days later he tries and tugs on my heart strings saying "I wanted t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My AH has been out of rehab and sober for almost 5 months. After rehab, we went against the advise of the facility and personal counselors and he moved home. It only took about a week and a half before he slid off the pink cloud and moved into the pit of hell. Finally after 2 1/2 months he moved out. Actual...

gknee · gknee

Hi all- been reading here some but not posting of late. Just watching events unfold here at home. My AH(drug and alcohol) was sick at home for 2 1/2 weeks. Like I suspected-- it was all due to substance abuse. He was drinking plus taking sleeping pills and smoking pot and getting real sick. He kept...

gknee · gknee

Hi all- I get goosebumps sometimes when I read what you all write-- it is perfectly meant for me. the whole "say what u mean, mean what u say, don't say it mean" thing is right on! here's my ESH from last night's conversation with my AH. He has not been drinking and drugging for 8 days...

maresie2 · maresie2

Seeing my housemate make the grand gesture she did last night reminded me of all the times I broke my back to impress the A's friends or his mother or some such person. I have a terrible habit of that. Right now I am trying not to do it but its a pattern I really felt proud of before. I was really such a people pl...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A seems to have bounced back. After months of not working he is finally getting some work. I used to hate it when he went into full work mode. Now I am no longer looking to him to validate me I am really not that involved. I do care but I also have to detach. I do know that no matter how much he makes he nev...

maresie2 · maresie2

You are all aware that I landed in a housing situation that is not the greatest. One woman who I live with is staying with her son. She is total codependent in that she never says any of her issues to me personally but complains all the time Then she turns around and acts out in different ways. I took my t...

kissers · kissers

My boss and I went to a meeting and on the way back he asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch, more specifically, what type of food. I told him Japanese. When we got back to the office, he told everyone in the office I was high maintenance. I calmly said, "No, I am just a woman who knows what she wants&quo...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Just when you thought all those grammer corrections your mother/teacher/insert insane corrective OCD person here harped on you about were meaningless.......

Hopelesswife · Hopelesswife

Hi everyone. I am new to this board. I am married to an alcoholic. I don't know if he has always been one, or if he became one over the years due to life circumstances. I do know that I am pretty hopeless about the whole situation. We just got into another huge blowout. Nothing physical, but he is an exp...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Sometimes, those who wander are lost!

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Trying to Control the Enabler! (Preview) So i'm really working my program to detach with love and let the A have the diginity of finding his own bottom and reaching out for help when he is ready. But, I find myself now trying to get in there with his mother and control her. I've watched her run over to his house, take his keys, convince him to go to...	twinkie	4	721	Jun 27, 2007 by lilms
	and now I know where the dishes and the spoons are (Preview) ((((mip family)))))) Do you all remember this rhyme "Hey diddle diddle The cat and the fiddle The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun And the dish ran away with the spoon." Okay, so now I have answered the missing sock, spoon and dish mystery. I think I need a v...	lilms	5	407	Jun 27, 2007 by kismetstrand
	Hell Week!! (Preview) Well this past week has been one nightmare after another and I am just going to dump it all right here and whatever may be may be. First, this weekend I was deleting files from my mp3 player and somehow (I swear I didn't do it) all the folders were deleted and now I can't put anything on it or figure out how to...	carolinagirl	5	571	Jun 27, 2007 by maresie2
	feeling superior (Preview) I know at times I used to feel superior to the A. I used to feel I knew exactly what he needed to do in order to move to another place. I know this week I went on overwhelm for a while. I had an asthma attack and I go into real fear over my health. A friend who was well meaning started telling what I needed to...	maresie2	5	596	Jun 27, 2007 by carolinagirl
	HP working through us? Maybe (Preview) (((MIP Friends))) Things in my life are moving along at a calm and steady pace at this time; which has been really nice. Everything is still up in the air financially. I have done everything I can do at this time to get myself on a better path of financial freedom, now I just have to let HP handle the detai...	twinmom2	3	591	Jun 27, 2007 by Jerry F
	Working hard (Preview) I am working hard on my serenity. I am using the heck out of my tools and hitting a meeting everyday. I hear what I need to hear and it is keeping me from being lonley and feeling sorry for myself. I am feeling pretty good. I am still driving the long way home so as not to drive by "her" house. I am...	serendipity	6	477	Jun 26, 2007 by Maria123
	Breaking relationships (Preview) This is something with my mom I've thought alot about...hope it helps some of you out there... I left because there was no room for me. But you could tell me not to go. Say it to me. Tell me not to go. --Stephen Sondheim Sunday in the Park with George To leave someone we love is to knowingly break a vital conne...	Tiger2006	1	470	Jun 26, 2007 by mandalynn38
	coming up for air (Preview) Hi all, I's me, Lee Ann. I've been gone for several months. Not gone, just not here -- in the rooms. Not sure why.. just let my life take over and slowly meetings and readings have slipped and so have I. Oh, I've been holding it together... ever feel like that "Incredibles" Elasta-Girl mo...	itsgot2bgd	7	624	Jun 26, 2007 by maresie2
	And now, on a lighter note... (Preview) Buried 'aliens' are really tree trunks 2 hours, 42 minutes ago KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Malaysians in a northern village were alarmed by rumors that space aliens had been laid to rest in their neighborhood cemetery, but authorities learned the graves had merely been filled with banana tree trunks f...	Tiger2006	1	427	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	"Spread your wings..." (Preview) We fear to trust our wings. We plume and feather them, but dare not throw our weight upon them. We ding too often to the perch. --Charles B. Newcomb Even before it has learned to fly; a baby bird is pushed from its nest. It will totter upon the ground, stubby wings outstretched from its body, following the...	Tiger2006	2	491	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	Howdy hello (Preview) Thought I would introduce myself. My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence, both as an alcoholic myself, and as a loved one of an alcoholic. I have been in my own recovery from alcoholism since August 5, 1990. I have a daughter who is now 29 and an active alcoholic. She is currently in jail...	Tenderheartsks	4	611	Jun 26, 2007 by Jerry F
	Our 1st Mtg (Open AA) (Preview) It might be better for us to go to a Spanish one next time - the only reason we didn't is bc the only Spanish one is an hour away and by the time I get off work it'd be too late - he missed out on going to that one last Sunday bc of the came. I have to admit, environment was a bit unnerving at first. My husband was th...	Gurl25	5	485	Jun 26, 2007 by abbyal
	Am I supposed to be my AH's babysitter?? (Preview) So here is the situation. I am taking martial arts w/my son and daughter. My AH started taking it last fall but only made it to a handful of classes. I have asked him over and over to rejoin so that he can spend more time with us and we will bond more. He refuses. He always comes up w/an excuses. He gets m...	QOD	10	714	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	Needy (Preview) I am on the merry-go-round again with my wife. I have a very needy program that I have been battling for a long time. "Poor me" has always worked well, but seems to morphing into defensiveness and anger when I choose to not do it that way. It started out with me having an expectation that she w...	bill f	5	683	Jun 26, 2007 by bill f
	I totally lost it today... (Preview) I know I haven't been on in a really long time...but that's what I get for having twins and 3 other children running around. Anyways I had planned to come on the other day to update on how things were going, because I was happy...for once I was happy, I have my own apartment with the kids, and things were st...	Miranda	7	793	Jun 26, 2007 by pabell
	watching the chaos from another perspective. (Preview) The house I live in has several alcoholics in actually. There is the quiet seething one, the erupting one who is apologetic at times and there are the two totally out of control anti social ones. It is remarkabel to watch other people's response to them. I spoke to the manager yesterday and she spoke abo...	maresie2	2	465	Jun 26, 2007 by twinkie
	AH pulled a disappearing act again. (Preview) It has been several months since my AH has been home. His last binge was back in Feb. He was gone for a month. If you read my post from last Friday, you'll know that my AH got mad at me for being at my martial arts classes for 3 hours on Thurs night vs. sitting at home with him. One of my friends said it sounded...	QOD	10	582	Jun 26, 2007 by QOD
	Watching him fall....ESH please (Preview) Has anyone any insight into watching your loved A hit his bottom? It is everything I can do to stand true to my boundaries; 1/that we can not talk on the phone when he is drunk and 2/ more importantly that he needs to be sober for 30 days and then we can get together. He has been drinking non-stop (bingi...	twinkie	7	646	Jun 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Gonna take a chance (Preview) I have debated on whether to post for about 3 weeks now. Namely because I've got enough garbage in my head to open a new toxic waste dump. Namely because my disease is convincing me you'll not understand, and worse, judge me and ostracize me. Why I think this, I have no idea. These past 3 weeks have been m...	Tiger2006	6	605	Jun 26, 2007 by twinmom2
	First Mtg 2nite (Preview) AH got off work early bc of rain so we're going tonight! I'll letyall know how it goes tomorrow. I just hope I don't crumble into tears in front of them all on the first mtg. I am not so good at holding in my emotions these days - esp when it comes to AH. Deep breaths....	Gurl25	2	362	Jun 26, 2007 by Rita G
	family again (Preview) My sister is getting married to the father of her young son. She has not invited me to the wedding. Reason, we don't speak because I found out she had a brief affair with myA a few years ago. (My sister is a drinker too, thats how they got together I think) Anyway, depsite being very hurt at the whole thing, I...	annmarie	5	558	Jun 26, 2007 by annmarie
	What is ESH? (Preview) Is there a list of abbreviations somewhere?? Aside from board talk, I struggled this weekend. I caught myself searching for drug paraphenalia yesterday, and had to quickly distract myself from obsessing about his recovery. I know better, but I just couldn't resist. Funny how ala-non has helped me...	mosaicmax	2	3819	Jun 26, 2007 by Lanchas
	We Miss You (A poem, sort of) (Preview) We Miss You Dear Addict, We're grazing in a field of lies, Flirting with an empty love. We've tried to get back just a little bit, Anything of what once was. We want so much to bring back, The soul that's lost it's purpose. Your mind that's bent on weekends of binging, Is so hard to understand. Missing you d...	Gurl25	2	345	Jun 26, 2007 by Lanchas
	Have you ever considered making a list of what you are grateful for????? (Preview) When we are dealing with an alcoholic, we certainly overlook and take for granted things that life offers for free. Making a list of what we are grateful for sometimes can enlighten a serious situation, and remove us for a short while from the insanity this disease creates. Just for Today can you sit b...	gardengal	6	339	Jun 26, 2007 by Lanchas
	NEED SOME STRENGTH FROM YOU GUYS...PLEASE.... (Preview) (((((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))I have been sitting all day trying to fina a solution to my problem, of a relationship..This is the same on-going guy in my life ((recoveringA))Can anyone offer any wisdom....should I let him see this, and hope we can sort this, once and for all...Its killing me!!...	ally	15	780	Jun 25, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	Sorry, just got to ask? (Preview) Do any of you wimmin struggle more during, "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH", to keep it together, I'm asking because, I seem very unbalanced around this time, I'm trying to fake it till I make it, but it's ever so hard, because I'm very emotional and find it very testing not to lose it at this time, I...	Katy	10	540	Jun 25, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	one more question regarding my last post (Preview) My ex was working for this older, sick woman in the program. She came to love and trust him very,very much. She was similar to my mom in that she just leaves important things like credit cards laying around. I remember him telling me he found a pile of her credit cards like 25 of them that weren't expired....	serendipity	13	660	Jun 25, 2007 by lilms
	Facing the music (sigh) (Preview) I just downloaded all the bank statements from the last two years for my lawyer. I've received feedback out my ears that I am a strong woman, tough, brave, etc. I appreciate that, and in many ways, I am strong tough and brave. But not when it comes to money. The concrete reality of what my A has spent on dr...	Kim65	10	605	Jun 25, 2007 by lilms
	Question about forks (Preview) Hello (((All))) I kinda wish this was a more important post about the forks in the roads of life or something but it is not .... I have a question about plain old tableware. And I freely admit I have been obsessed with this question for at least a couple of years now. I even tried giving it up to my HP, helped o...	Jennifer	11	587	Jun 25, 2007 by ShelBell
	Elizabethtown, KY (Preview) MIP Family, I am taking a small vacation with my Mom, granddaughter & niece this week. I will be in Elizabethtown, Kentucky on Friday 6/29 and hope to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I love attending meetings when out of town - meeting new friends in recovery is always great fun. Anyway, I was just won...	Rita G	1	1952	Jun 25, 2007 by carolena
	I Don't know about the forks but I know where the socks go (Preview) (((((Friends))))) In answer to where do the missing socks go. This is where dryer lint comes from. lilms	lilms	6	418	Jun 25, 2007 by Jennifer
	Just to let you know (Preview) I did write the woman a letter ( see last post) and explained what the situation with my ex, my mother, and her credit cards. I also called a friend in AA and he said call her. So, I did leave her a message also. Now, she has been informed and hopefully will be protected. I really took all of your posts into con...	serendipity	4	606	Jun 25, 2007 by Jennifer
	face to face observation (Preview) I must comment on my f2f meeting I attended Friday. I was the happiest person in the room! I left just shaking my head. When I came home and AH says "How was your meeting?" and I told him my observation, he said- "Welcome to my world" Him being in AA and me going to A...	gknee	4	615	Jun 25, 2007 by Tiger2006
	A controling my life (Preview) Seems to me that the more my AH loses control with his own life the more he wants to control mine. He told me on Saturday that our marriage would be fine if I just allowed him access to my cell phone and my email account. I told him it wasn't going to happen. The way to have a good marriage is to trust one ano...	Denoraphy	2	412	Jun 25, 2007 by Tiger2006
	His Excuse (Preview) So yeah, AH said we were going on Sunday - but guess what - NO. He left Saturday night and didn't come back. Said he wanted to watch the MEX v. USA soccer game on Sunday & knew if he stayed I'd expect him to go to the meeting. He was all please don't be mad - seemed pretty sincere abt the whole thing, didn...	Gurl25	5	415	Jun 25, 2007 by Gurl25
	He stole my mother's credit cards (Preview) sober-less-than-a-year-and-involved-with-a-new-relationship.	serendipity	5	661	Jun 25, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Hugs matter (Preview) And it's good to know we can here and get them when we need them! I could not sleep much last night because I could not get the stuff I posted about last night off my mind. Plus, I had too much caffiene and nictotene so it's my own fault. But I so appreciated response from those of you who did and I was able...	jaja	1	456	Jun 25, 2007 by Lunamoth
	On Sex w/ AH (Preview) As sincere as AH seems to be abt wanting to change, and knowing his alcoholic behavior IS a disease - I still feel many times that I'm being "groomed" or bribed for sex. He will tell me how sorry he, hug me, how much he wants to get better...etc. With the way things have been - I'm so tired of bei...	Gurl25	8	1189	Jun 25, 2007 by QOD
	Sometimes I can't shut up (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I'm back from a week of Girl Scout camp-- bug bites, sunburn and a serious case of hat head LOL. It was a good week. I've worked camp the last 6 yrs. and love it -- it gives me a lot of joy. Anyhow, I wish I could go on and on about how good life is, only it isn't. I'm so flipping frustrated....	Lunamoth	7	572	Jun 25, 2007 by gknee
	In Need of Some ESH! (Preview) I could use some ESH. My A is a binger and for the past year whenever he drank,we always called them relapses. Truth is, it is and has always been his addiction as he has not embraced a recovery program. Having come out of my denial and hit my bottom with our interaction and my sickness to "get him...	twinkie	9	544	Jun 25, 2007 by twinkie
	I went (Preview) I went to the visit on Friday, despite a letter not coming in the mailbox. I was determined to do it I suppose. It was ok, I was kind of mean (from his perspective) guess it was really just brutal honesty. I laughed at him a few times. It would be easier if we didn't have good rapport. Anyway, I was glad I...	carolinagirl	4	571	Jun 25, 2007 by maresie2
	Just needing a hug tonight (Preview) You know we can fluctuate at times in dealing with our A's. Guess I'm going through another one of those times and my mother is getting on my nerves as well. About a month or so ago I told my A I was going to go ahead with a divorce since we didn't seem to getting anywhere in this relationship. But, with noth...	jaja	7	497	Jun 25, 2007 by carla036
	A is getting sued (Preview) Almost exactly 2 years ago my AH pulled out onto a busy street and slammed into a car he didn't see coming. He was sober, we were fully covered. We weren't charged with anything at the time. He was very sorry about it. About a week later he told me the lady he hit was claiming an injury. He felt bad about it be...	RainyJamie	6	670	Jun 25, 2007 by Diva
	-but I can't control what he does...I mean I don't want to!!! (Preview) About this time last year we got into some car issues that I believe the A has handled very poorly. I have backed off for the most part, but wait, I guess I didn't. I have reasoned and nudged and nagged and fought and cried. I don't have a driver's liscence, he is the only driver. Our nice, reliable car took a...	RainyJamie	5	570	Jun 25, 2007 by babysteps
	enough is enough (Preview) things had been good for awhile...but this past week of dealing (or trying too) deal with his ridiculas behavior has made me say enough. I have told him that he needs to leave, if he doesn't leave I told him that I will pack his stuff and take it out of the house. If he was just drinking that would be one thi...	still searching	7	683	Jun 24, 2007 by Jerry F
	Getting off the Merry Go Round/NO MORE DRAMA (Preview) If anyone read my last post, then you know I have had an experience that spun me around like a merry go round, set on 100 x the speed it is normally supposed to go. God. I let him in--was lonely---should have come here instead. Thanks to the 3 who replied to my last post. This event has definately been an ex...	hippietrippiechick	7	687	Jun 24, 2007 by Sunny2007
	New here (Preview) Hi, I found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading which has been very encouraging. I'm feeling like I need some reinforcement for what I know is the best thing for me to do, isn't that silly that I would need reinforcement for what I know is right? Long story short, I was married to a function...	ReUnited	7	660	Jun 24, 2007 by ReUnited
	I posted this on the AA board yesterday-(long) (Preview) A little history---39 year old husband struggling with addiction for 2 years. In and out of sobriety for 2 years. Presently dealing with some serious legal consequences. I found this today---I haven't heard from him since yesterday at 5p. Here goes... It's at these times that I truly believe th...	mom to 2	3	577	Jun 24, 2007 by mom to 2
	FOCUSING ON F2F AL-ANON (Preview) ((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))))) I was told by someone today, my life was a "saga".....With my ongoing relationship.....wow How did I feel.....Angry, Hurt, Humiliated..... Let me ask you a question? I have an A in my life......Like most of you all. I am not married to hi...	ally	10	682	Jun 24, 2007 by carosie
	Are the things they say meaningless? (Preview) When my ah wouldn't come to the ER when I was miscarrying and he said some nasty nasty things to me on the phone, that gave me strength to call and get the divorce papers going. How could he love me and say such horrible things to me. A few days later he tries and tugs on my heart strings saying "I wanted t...	Friendofyours	5	678	Jun 24, 2007 by Becky1
	Cautiously Optimistic (Preview) My AH has been out of rehab and sober for almost 5 months. After rehab, we went against the advise of the facility and personal counselors and he moved home. It only took about a week and a half before he slid off the pink cloud and moved into the pit of hell. Finally after 2 1/2 months he moved out. Actual...	Loupiness	1	500	Jun 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	things changing-- for the better (Preview) Hi all- been reading here some but not posting of late. Just watching events unfold here at home. My AH(drug and alcohol) was sick at home for 2 1/2 weeks. Like I suspected-- it was all due to substance abuse. He was drinking plus taking sleeping pills and smoking pot and getting real sick. He kept...	gknee	7	554	Jun 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	on the same wavelength (Preview) Hi all- I get goosebumps sometimes when I read what you all write-- it is perfectly meant for me. the whole "say what u mean, mean what u say, don't say it mean" thing is right on! here's my ESH from last night's conversation with my AH. He has not been drinking and drugging for 8 days...	gknee	3	547	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	Gradn gestures (Preview) Seeing my housemate make the grand gesture she did last night reminded me of all the times I broke my back to impress the A's friends or his mother or some such person. I have a terrible habit of that. Right now I am trying not to do it but its a pattern I really felt proud of before. I was really such a people pl...	maresie2	1	370	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	going into the weekend with my head on straight (Preview) The A seems to have bounced back. After months of not working he is finally getting some work. I used to hate it when he went into full work mode. Now I am no longer looking to him to validate me I am really not that involved. I do care but I also have to detach. I do know that no matter how much he makes he nev...	maresie2	2	381	Jun 23, 2007 by CJ
	Not being in reactivity (Preview) You are all aware that I landed in a housing situation that is not the greatest. One woman who I live with is staying with her son. She is total codependent in that she never says any of her issues to me personally but complains all the time Then she turns around and acts out in different ways. I took my t...	maresie2	5	718	Jun 22, 2007 by carolena
	Feeling Good (Preview) My boss and I went to a meeting and on the way back he asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch, more specifically, what type of food. I told him Japanese. When we got back to the office, he told everyone in the office I was high maintenance. I calmly said, "No, I am just a woman who knows what she wants&quo...	kissers	2	350	Jun 22, 2007 by carolena
	Just when you thought... (Preview) Just when you thought all those grammer corrections your mother/teacher/insert insane corrective OCD person here harped on you about were meaningless.......	Tiger2006	3	426	Jun 22, 2007 by twinmom2
	new and hopeless (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to this board. I am married to an alcoholic. I don't know if he has always been one, or if he became one over the years due to life circumstances. I do know that I am pretty hopeless about the whole situation. We just got into another huge blowout. Nothing physical, but he is an exp...	Hopelesswife	11	735	Jun 22, 2007 by carla036
	Sometimes... (Preview) Sometimes, those who wander are lost!	Tiger2006	0	303	Jun 21, 2007 by Tiger2006
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.