The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well this past week has been one nightmare after another and I am just going to dump it all right here and whatever may be may be. First, this weekend I was deleting files from my mp3 player and somehow (I swear I didn't do it) all the folders were deleted and now I can't put anything on it or figure out how to fix it. Then I paid for a vacation in Orlando for October (on the credit card of course) and the next day my home computer broke down. The ethernet cube (which is attached to the motherboard - what a stupid idea) went out and this is the second time in 18 mos that this has happened. It is not under warranty anymore and I need it for school for my online class. My 12 year old daughter started her period for the first time (It's possible for me to be a grandma now - eeeek!). The house that I am renting is looking like it might sell at which point I have nowhere to go (there are no rentals avail. here) and no money to move. I keep quitting and starting smoking and then telling myself how weak I am because I won't just quit. I have been looking for a rental but as I said there is nothing in this area and if I move out of the area it will mess up my whole school/work plan and I'm already enrolled for classes in the fall. I was so overwhelmed yesterday that I couldn't function! I went to a meeting for my job and found out that we are getting less money this year and they want us to do more work we can't bill for (I'm so sick of social work). I am torn because I SO want to get my kids out of this school but also want to continue with my job/school and the two don't go together.
There is a ray of hope - I was up till 1am chatting with tech support from compaq and the guy made me feel fairly confident that I could install a new ethernet card and hook it up to the motherboard myself rather than losing all my data and having to ship it in. I have decided to start being proactive about getting rid of stuff in the assumption that we might have to move very soon. I'm researching schools in other counties to see if I might be able to take the classes there instead if I were to move to another area - but the commute to work would still be horriffic!
Does anyone want to share a fabulous 4 bedroom beach house? I found a great one for rent and could afford it with a roommate!
(((CG))) Sounds like a rough week indeed. I'm more worried about the cig smoking and your daughter's period than anything else. Welcome hormones! Hello stress! About the cigs: hon, don't tell your self anything less than how beautiful, courageous, strong and wonderful you are. Social workers are made, bred, and born. You have a gift that few others do. Why it is that you don't get paid accordingly, I don't know. I love you hon. And, get back with that guy from compaq--they're a good bunch with solid customer satisfaction ratings. If he was able to build up your confidence thus, he can help some more.
Well, I forgot to mention that the babysitter who was watching my kids for the conference called to cancel yesterdy (leaving tomorrow) and just found out I actually have to leave today. Good news tho I did find a house for rent in an area with better schools for about 200$ less than I pay now. I'm going to see it tonight, well I WAS until I got an email saying that I am supposed to be at the conference center tonight.
As I read your post - one thing kept coming to mind - everything happens for a reason. Maybe you'll be forced to move, to find a BETTER job somewhere else, and attend school somewhere else to experience something yet to be discovered..... sounds like you are trying to fight what your HP is creating in your life. If it's one thing I've learned, it's that "his" plan is the way things are gonna go, whether we like it or not. Who knows, maybe there's a better road just ahead for you....stop putting the brakes on and take it as it comes. Have faith, and you'll be just fine!!!
I can understand the fear of moving. My landord still keeps taking money from the anti social ones so they don't move. Meantime the rest of us suffer. What does the landlord care? He doesn't obviously.
So in the meantime the rest of the people engage in chronic complaining about everything. Well thats me of course. I can just indulge in everything is wrong.
So what is right right now for you?
I mean there are options.
Where I live they have to give you notice to move of course no one wants to move with notice because then you are not looking around. Well look at me I didn't look around and look what I got/
At the same time I had to say you are taking care of yourself.
I try to respond to boundaries. Stuff happens what do I do with the boundary.
Everyone around me at home feels sorry for themselves because they have to live with the anti social oens. They just act out on it. The plethora of complaints is endless. There is no give and take anymore.
That's pretty much what happens around substance abuse divide and conquer. The landlord goes to the bank of course. That's all he cares about.
I remember that but I try not to react to it. My moving tomorrow won't phase him one bit.
I try not to do everything at once. I try to set goals what's the next step.
The next step for me personally is to reduce debt. I hate doing it. I'd really like to moan and complain about it but its part of the process.
I am also working on reorganizing and reducing stuff.
That will keep me busy for a while.
Try to have workable goals. don't set yourself up.
