The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thought I would introduce myself. My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence, both as an alcoholic myself, and as a loved one of an alcoholic.
I have been in my own recovery from alcoholism since August 5, 1990. I have a daughter who is now 29 and an active alcoholic. She is currently in jail...again.
I was also married to an alcoholic, whom I divorced after I went through rehab as I knew I couldn't stay sober in that environment, plus he was violent.
I hope to learn here and share my experience, strength, and hope too!
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
Welcome to Alanon. Being a "double winner " I congratulate you! Here in alanon we learn the 12 steps, not exactly as in AA but very similiar, as it is a "sister group of AA. I always encourage those who are double winners to share their experiences so us in Alanon can understand more about the disease. So I welcome you to your recovery here in Alanon,,,, lots of good postings here,,, keep coming back ..."It works if you work it and YOU are worth it.
I also am both AA and now Al-anon. I have a 19 year old who is active and it is so hard not to blame myself. Do you ever go down that road? I've recently started going to f2f meetings and it is great, but I find myself crying more, I think I have been stuffing alot of old and new stuff. Anyhow, I wish people would give me instructions, then I'd probably get pissed at them. Like do I pay her car insurance since she was fired from her job and dropped out of college? She reminded me she can't find a job without a car. But she isn't even looking now and it's been a month. She says she is in transition, had to laugh at that one, after she left. It is all soooo exahausting. Thanks for your share.
Welcome to MIP ((Tenderheart))) Glad you found us. Congrats on being a double winner. This is a wonderful message board. Lots of esh here. Somedays I log on and find just what I needed to hear. Glad you are here with us. I look forward to your post. your friend in recovery, rosie
Welcome also and you are not alone as there's gotta be a gazillion alky's who are entering the doors of Al-Anon on a daily basis (well maybe not a gazillion but then what's a couple more or less?) I got here because of my need for serenity (peace of soul). I was born into the disease, hung out with the same kind of people, married a woman who is alcoholic after leaving a woman who is alcoholic, participated in the active disease in my family and have reached toxic shock 3 times myself.
There was and is much to learn. I learned the steps, traditions, concepts, slogans and philosophy from the Al-Anon perspective and went 9 years without a drink. From what I as taught in these rooms and college the disease has no bias or respect and is patient, cunning, powerful and baffling. One spirtitual experience while working as a counselor in a rehab led me to my own anonymous assessment and an important read-back of that assessment was, "Whomever this assessment is of needs to be in in-patient treatment immediately or the next time they drink they die." My next meeting was an AA meeting at the Alanon Club in the town I lived in. I hid in the shadows away from the table and tried to remain un-noticable even though most every one in the room knew each other from outside meetings and rehab. They waited in silence until I came to admit I was alcoholic and powerless. "Humility is being teachable", and HP is my guidance counselor.
We leave our programs separate and don't mix up the ESP in order not to dilute and confuse those in the rooms who are different than us. I keep my AA recovery out of Al-Anon meetings including the behaviors and meeting protocols and permissions. I do the same for AA even though there are members you tell me "I want what you have" (they mean the peace of mind and serenity). Like you I don't drink and I know that this disease wants me to come back. I have never lost the compulsion as others have mentioned they have. I follow suggestions as best I can. That alone can make a person a "winner".
Keep an open mind in the Al-Anon recovery rooms. It is soooo much more than just not drinking.
Like yourself I had to separate my self from my alcoholic wife in order to save my own life and sanity. It was the very most soul wrenching experience I have ever had. I cried like a baby and went thru withdrawals similar to a heroin addict and I did it anyway. I learned here that it isn't the withdrawal that kills you but the using. I glued my butt to many chairs in AFG meetings. I stuck and stayed and got weller and also found out about my own compulsion and alergy to good ole etoh.
