The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Do any of you wimmin struggle more during, "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH", to keep it together, I'm asking because, I seem very unbalanced around this time, I'm trying to fake it till I make it, but it's ever so hard, because I'm very emotional and find it very testing not to lose it at this time, I know it too, shall come to pass, but I have lost it on accasions around this this time and deeply regretted it after, and when I looked back, it was because it was that time of the month, and I feel highly emotional then. It feels like I am on high alert, and the slightest thing could tip me, my concern here is to try to destinguish which behavoiurs are normal and which are hormoan related.
Girl you obviously didn't read my post from earlier in the week. I am PMSing badly this week and it is all I can do to not completely lose it w/my AH. On top of that, I messed up my pill packet this month too and so I ended up going through PMS twice. It just about killed me and the family. I take LOTS of Pamperin to help calm me down. I tend over react to everything that my AH says and does. As well as the kids. I am like a demon. So you are not alone in that. Sincerely, QOD
Nothing beats an apology the next day with a breif explaination, "Sorry I overreacted last night, it is my time of the month and I was being over sensitive. If you'd like to try to have that discussion again I will try to be more open minded."
I had to use this line myself this past week. I think the apology went a long way to restoring our relationship.
YES!! Some months are worse than others, TG for the less "worse" ones.
I benefitted from taking a very low dose of antidepressant starting two weeks prior to. It did not go away entirely, but definitely gave me a leg up.
Recognizing it is hormonal, and beyond your control (the hormones that is) is one thing, but acting "as if" is also something I have to do. I have too many times indulged the irritability to no good effect. We do suffer for real, and I don't want to add to that.
As my life gets more quiet, I'm wondering if this one or two week period before could be "reinterpreted" as a time to lay low, take it very easy when needed, and baby myself just a little. Chocolate in reasonable amounts is very helpful. Also, perhaps the mind set is important in some way during these times. I'm just keeping an open mind here.
Oh, man! It took me a while to realize what a different person I could be when it was my time of the month. Thankfully, this is something that I could plan for since the event occurs every month at the same time! I just had to pull more from my program and reconize that my hormones were going crazy. Usually, during that time I would innocently let my AH know that Aunt Flow was in the house and he started actually steering clear of me. I agree with Deno too, a simple "im sorry" after the fact with a short explanation can go a long way.
Since I have been pregnant I have noticed my emotions all over the map on almost a daily basis! Talk about a challenge. Thankfully, this time AH is sober so it has gone a little better than the last two. Also, I am so much stronger in my program to notice when it really is just crazy hormones and not the end of the world. I have learned that there is nothing at all wrong with a quiet cry when I think things are going sideways to make things look a little better. AH has been more understanding in not taking everything so personal as well. This time he just lets me go on and on then at the end lets it go. Later, when I am better composed we can talk about whether or not it was actually something going on or just a case of "pregnancy hormone talk."
Learning to let go more often during this time has also helped alot.
I am reading this post and its replies...*snicker, snicker, snicker*...and saying a prayer of thanks that I have left that part of my life behind me. I never had much of a problem anyway, but this menopause thing is WONDERFUL!!! I have no unfortunate symptoms, no stress; only relief. happiness, and joy. No more worry about pregnancies!!!! YAY!
On a serious note, I am truly sorry that some of your girls have bad "times of the month." I can offer no help. Hang in there. One glorious day it'll all be gone. Oh happy day.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
What Kim said about anti-depressants is true. I was out with a girlfriend and her husband one time, and the subject came around to what an absolute B***h she used to become that time of the month -- Jekyl and Hyde stuff. Her doctor also put her on an anti-depressant for a week or two before it started, and it helped tremendously. The way I look at it, you're just regulating out-of-whack brain chemicals, just like a diabetic regulates insulin levels.
Hi, I just had this thought today and a frank discussion with my AH today. I noticed that when I go through PMS, he goes right along with me. I started calling this week "fight week" to myself. We just bite at each other w/ sarcasm and meanness. As soon as she comes, it's like we're different people. Last month I shared this observation with AH. He was surprised... but realized it was so. This month, I remembered I had told a friend about "fight week" and that she said, "Why not tell your AH you're PMS'ing and call it "Easy Does it" week... be extra gentle with yourself and your family, esp AH... and ask AH for gentleness and ease.
Hmmm... what an idea!!!...do something proactive to help ourselves!!! When I explained this to my AH, he was really open and asked me when "the curse" (as my grandmother called it) was due... and for the rest of the day, it seemed like this weight was lifted off my shoulders. I don't have to carry this burden of being a PMS'ing witch or faking it, or tolerating or anything... I can make it Easy! We can make it easy.
Tonight we had the best fun. It was so hot here in MD and we filled up water balloons with the hose and squirted each other with squirt guns. Even our 2 year old got in on it. Gosh it felt good to laugh and know that my family was so happy.... even this week, er, especially this week!
It works if you work it... ain't it the truth?!!! hugs, Lee Ann
