The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Recently, I have read some excellent replies to members who are struggling with how to handle a particular situation with an A and are confused over how, if, and to what degree to apply a slogan to the situation. I have read some debate and concern over misapplying slogans, and also some excellent ES&H in direct response to these kinds of queries.
I wanted to share that what works for me is to work the WHOLE program. For me, I find have need to work slogans, the steps, and the traditions. For me, I put these three types of Alanon material in conversation with each other, and then think the issue through. I also call my Sponsor who is great at helping me navigate baffling situations in ways that are SANE and isn't afraid to tell me the truth as she sees it (and then I can take or leave or ES&H).
For me, it really helps to take any single problem and work it through the steps 1-12. For example, I list the problem and then think through what I am powerless over. Then, I use steps 2 & 3 to look at my own sane/insane behavior in the situation and also to ask my HP for assistance. By the time I have thought the problem through the steps, I feel calmer and more serene. The slogans help me keep on track when I start to loose my grip on any given day. The traditions help me navigate and see relationship issues and conflicts more clearly.
Overall, it is practicing THESE PRINCIPLES that keeps me sane. Individual situations often baffle me, but now I spend far less time obsessing, because I realize I have principles to follow.
When I tell someone or have it told to me a slogan like sayyyyy..."this too shall pass" my toes curl sometimes. It sounds like such a platitude.
But when I put it in the context of all I have learned from working this program as a whole, I know what it means, and I know it is true...weather I like it or not! lol
Just like I can't do it all alone, no one slogan or idea of the program really stands alone without coming to understand it as a whole.
I am not someone who does a whole lot of quoting from our literature. Mainly because I can't remember stuff word for word. It is the principals of it all that have slowly worked their way into my life.
