The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
What a week I have had ..I am tired, mentally, physically and my spirit, is so low...... I thought I had had enough of al-anon. I went to a meeting a few nights ago and I asked "Do any of you feel Al-anon "expects" too much from us sometimes, or is it only how I feel"....I got a few smiles, and someone said to me, Ally, you are in that "Place". I said is that good or bad....lol
Before the fellowship, we just done things, said things, had no thought about it, it was just how our life was......But now, it's watching everything we do, or say, how we come across to other people within and outwith the fellowship.
I went to a f2f last night, I knew I "Needed" it. And it was awesome... I got so much, understanding, people telling me I was only human, and was allowed to feel the feelings. That I was worth so much, if only I could break this habbit and start to see it for myself. I felt wonderful when I left the f2f. Because I felt loved and supported. I had no need to ask for it, it was just there in abundance for me. And it felt good, I needed to know I was still not alone. As I feel sometimes, It's me against the world..
Anyway, I have been growling for Scotland this week, struggling big time, and the two things that have been really holding out for me have been my Sponsor, who gives me the kick in the A$$, and the fellowship f2f...Not been online much.
So for anyone who feels some days that al-anon is pulling them down, It's too hard and you cant do this....."YES" you can, when we feel like this we "NEED" to get in amidst the Al-Anon Family, just listen, watch and ask questions, dont be afraid to ask...My face to face groups all laugh at me, because I ask questions all the time. But If I dont, my recovery will be slower. And "Just for today" I need my family to help me with my life..
I have been climbing for a few months and doing great, but that can change in a few seconds, with a comment or a look from someone...(what others think of me is none of my business, I know..lol).
We need to remember we can "Start our day over again at anytime" We have our power back, our control, this is our lives, and we are responsible for our own happiness. We cannot "Fix" (Yuk, i hate that word..lol) Anyone, nor can we change anyone to what we want them to be.....
Love to you all
Ally Girl
We always look for love and support from people we know
I've been there, where I just didn't want to do it anymore. Then I'd travel that justification path of "why should I?" trying to back up not putting in the effort it takes. It is work-- I remember thinking I wish I could PAY someone to do this for me LOL
What I alway came back to was, once "the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than the pain of change, change becomes easier." I became more willing to change, because remaining the same was killing me. It was worth the work to not to feel the same "old" way.
Great post and chasing down family members smarter than and more experience that I is what saved what I am sitting on also. I found it's okay to stop, stay and sit still when I was feeling overwhelmed. I cannot outrun HP and I found that when I stopped working it so hard and just surrendered it along with all the other baggage I had in my shopping cart, often times it came to me without any effort. (the Aha's!!) Sometimes the program works me in spite of me. I have missed meetings and stayed home because I was tired or sick. Since the program doesn't revolved around me when I came back I found the family still there as if I never existed and the meeting still on the schedule. No one ever cancled the meeting because Jerry F didn't show up.
Take a break when you need a break. During the break don't go looking for someone new to fix or start writing a wish list for the alcoholic. Don't take a break from your HP or your sponsor (I am sure you practice this) and remember even though it might not be cute and shapely it's all yours and you gotta save it.
Al-Anon has never ever pulled me down. Can't say the same for me. I was not a very happy camper when I got here. My worse enemy however the AFG and all its' ESH and love changed that big time.
I don't know what "growling for Scotland" means but if my guess is right you may have something to do with global warming?
You're a treasure. Come back after you're rested up.
Here's something to go with your blankie, pillow and book, (((((Hugs)))))
..I am tired, mentally, physically and my spirit, is so low...... I thought I had had enough of al-anon.
I went to a meeting a few nights ago and I asked "Do any of you feel Al-anon "expects" too much from us sometimes, or is it only how I feel"....I got a few smiles, and someone said to me, Ally, you are in that "Place". I said is that good or bad....lol
I got so much, understanding, people telling me I was only human, and was allowed to feel the feelings. That I was worth so much, if only I could break this habbit and start to see it for myself. I felt wonderful when I left the f2f. Because I felt loved and supported. I had no need to ask for it, it was just there in abundance for me. And it felt good, I needed to know I was still not alone. As I feel sometimes, It's me against the world..
