Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Diva · Diva

Partner has not had a drink in several months. All that means is that the next three-day "gentleman's vacation" is closer to happening. We never discuss his alcoholism. He totally disregards it as if it does not exist. No need for me to attempt to tell him how I feel about anything. He ch...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Boy, 6, tries to drive to Applebees Wed Oct 10, 4:48 AM ET BROOMFIELD, Colo. - A 6-year-old boy was hungry and decided he'd go to Applebees. So he grabbed the car keys, took his booster seat from the back seat of his grandmother's car and placed it in the driver's seat, then made a go of driving himself to th...

beaulahg · beaulahg

this last week has been one of mayham. i bought a bed for a reduced price, believing the seller, when, i was told i was recieving a GREAT deal for a foam filled bed. GUARANTEED. i got the bed home and the foam filled bed turned out to be springs. bad backs run in my family. i have taken good care of mine, and, wo...

shadow1 · shadow1

(((((((((((((Belle1)))))))))))))) Happy Birthday Hen!!!! Sorry its so late but I just got home from work. Hope you had a great day!! Many happy returns. Love ya Hen Shad

david62 · david62

Hello (((everyone))) This a compilation of frequently asked questions, that we are trying to get together for permant posting on this site. I have compiled this list from the post we have had up on the board for the last month and from discussions with members. Please review these. If you have any sugg...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A went to court today and it will be a while till I learn what happened. Meantime he has left the place where he was living with a padklock on the door. Needless to say the people there are none too happy about that. I am doing my best not to be roped in. I have put in a request for my bicycle which I am sure he h...

Christy · Christy

Hi Peeps! I made it to Alaska after an all day trip in airports and jets. I really dislike getting here but I guess I could look at the alternative...driving..lol I always get a window seat so I can have something to look at. This time I went thru Utah to hitch the ride to Anchorage. Man! Was it ever pretty...

gardengal · gardengal

As the days shorten and less hours are spent outside, we all need that special place, a quiet place, where we can unwind, relax, and just focus on OUR needs only. Dealing with the disease of alcoholism can drain of us energy, self worth, self esteem etc.....Keeping the focus on ourselves can be a daunt...

afmom03 · afmom03

Hi There Everyone!! It's been a LONNNNGGGGG time since I've popped in to write anything...but I have been here reading and checking out alot of the posts. I decided to stop in and write because it's been a whole nine months now that I've been away from my "AH" and just when I think he's not goi...

KimG143 · KimG143

I just told my AH that I would be attending another alanon meeting tomorrow night and my mom would be coming over to babysit since he had a practice with his band. He was visibly upset. Ten minutes later he came into the living room and spouted angrily "Do you plan to do this every Tuesday night?&q...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm having a great time in Orlando! We have been to Universal studios today and I am EXHAUSTED!!! We were only there 5 hours but it seems like 24! It was HOT and humid but fun just so much walking and go, go, go. I met a man in the pool earlier from England and he was very nice, always great to meet people fr...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((Family))))))))))), After a very long and hard week of work: I AM ON VACATION! I am so excited. Can you tell? Now we're not going to any place exotic, but does that matter? I'm just grateful that I have a job that allows me 3 weeks of vacation a year. We have some long standing traditions f...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((((Everyone))))))) I am feeling so full of HP grace today. Over the years I had become so accustomed to hating the weekends... Isn't that basackwards... I hear people at work say .... boy, thank God it's friday. I smile and say 'Yeah'... But I just couldn't wait for it to be over. At work I didn...

shadow1 · shadow1

Well as some of you may know, I asked my A to leave and told him i was filing for divorce. I thought he would go when i told him about filing but he hasn't. He has stuck around and been drunk ever since. Then worst part of it all is that tomorrow (Sat) is/would be our 17 wedding anny and i just can't get out of my h...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Just wanted you all to know that 10/20 I will be having a family session with my parents and my councelor. I expect it to be emotional and challenging, as things with my parents often are. As I prepare myself, I know that I am going to be okay no matter what. But I am still somewhat anxious. Like I said, j...

omajoy · omajoy

I have been through 72 hours of hell. The phone has been ringing for three days with useless "conversations" with my son...the probable A. I say probable because it is so hard to determine. But after studying the posts on this site for over a year, sharing in some f to f meetings, I know I am del...

serendipity · serendipity

I have spent my entire life being over responsible. Especially for the A but for everyone in my life. I saw this and vowed to change this behavior because I didn't want my kids to do this too. I have since spent all my time trying my hardest to be healthy and balanced. In doing so, I very rarely let the pendul...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((Family)))))))))), Just wanted to share some exciting news with you all. We sent back hubby's wheelchair this week! We have had this thing since April 30 and have made good use of it. But he hasn't used in since starting his physical therapy and it was time to go. He is still in his walker ca...

loper410 · loper410

I've been struggling with this concept for awhile now. I want to be there to support my mom through life but I don't want that to mean that I accept her behavior. Is there a way that I can support her through her tough times of being Bi-Polar and having chronic health issues without accepting her behavior...

loper410 · loper410

Wow, I really don't even know where to begin. So many things are running around in my head. I'm a senior at college and have recently come to terms with the fact that my mom is addicted to pain medications. She has chronic health issues that she needs pain meds for so she never has any problems getting them...

ddub · ddub

One giant step for helpers and fixers and controlling people is to slow way down with the easy does it slogan. Even after hitting the al anon books, meetings and message boards hard and fast, then slowing down to easy does it with just some daily reading and meetings it is still too fast. Then trying t...

Destynee · Destynee

This is all new to me (Al-Anon). For 2 years after I was married, my AH would go out with his drinking buddies and not come home all night. Since August of 2006 he hasn't done it. But while I was at my mom's 20 minutes ago he took off. I don't think I can do this by myself again. Things have been terrible si...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((((((Everyone))))))))))) It really is amazing as I look back over my life and see how easily I used to accept lies as truth, and manipulation as direction. It is almost like I had a wire unhooked to my BS meter. Maybe it was more my fears ... fear of conflict, fear of letting others down and fear of...

kissers · kissers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClnkLyjrp1Y

alanon_2002 · alanon_2002

Hi, I am living with a A...it seems to have gotten worse. I went to therapy finally to help me deal with my inner anger. I cannot cry in front of him or the verbal argument gets worse. I cannot sleep & have to work. We do very little together. i have tried to do more but the friends come over & its a big i...

wp · wp

Just a note to say Erin has been in my thoughts. Has anyone heard how she is doing? Thanks, mspw

kissers · kissers

In the "Getting Them Sober, volume one" book, it talks about how one of the main things that partners of alcoholics have in common, is trying to show the alcoholic how much we can do for them, instead of even thinking of asking how much they can do for us. This is such a knee-jerk action for us.....

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I recently found a website that has some fantastic tools for recovery on it. One of which is a great outline on detachment. I wish I'd of had this when I first started in the program. Check it out if you wish. www.coping.org The subjects covered are listed on the lefthand side. Barb

loper410 · loper410

I'm looking to attend my first Al-Anon meeting on Tuesday night. I was wondering if it was okay if a friend came with me? I'm really nervous about taking this step and I know if someone came with me then it would make this first step a lot easier. - Julie

QOD · QOD

Ok so after all that my AH said the other night, he just text messaged me. Love u more every day-will be here waiting if u ever want me back in your life What the heck am I supposed to do with that? I mean, the other day he was mad b/c he wasn't getting laid and said we needed to start seeing other people. Now th...

serenity62 · serenity62

Happy Thanks giving to all my Canadian friends. I hope you have a great weekend, I for one will take this weekend to think about all the things I am grateful & thankful for. Living with an A has so many negative things we have to deal with, but we also have alot of positive things in our lives to be gratef...

Jill · Jill

Today is my husband's birthday, and I took him to the Stoogeum (Museum of Stooges!) for a suprise. I am not a stooges fan, but I had no idea how much I would like it. I went in with my prejudices - and I was seduced by the chuckles and giggling of the big crowd as they made their way around the exhibits. I figure...

Maria123 · Maria123

OCTOBER 7TH AGENDA I. OP SCHEDULE II. SECRETARY'S REPORT A. Minutes Review/Approval September 9th III. TREASURER'S REPORT A. 7th Tradition Donations IV. OLD BUSINESS A. FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions) V. NEW BUSINESS A. Rotation of Service (New Chairman, Secretary, Treasurer) Reco...

ddub · ddub

lost functioning, lost logic and lost any intelligence I may have. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I am such a mental case and I can't think straight to figgure anything out. I try to be normal whatever that is in front of kids. don't trust AH but want to, I see therapist, I go to f2f meetings, I am n...

october · october

I married a recovering A 2 years ago, sober 25 years. I have children, he was never married. My ex is a very angry, vindictful man. My husband has no tolerance for my ex, which I understand, but he expects me to totally cut him off and this is really hurting my kids. I feel I need to go overboard for my chil...

KimG143 · KimG143

I've been visiting this message board every day since my first post a couple of days ago. Reading other's stories has helped know I am not alone as I begin this journey of self-awareness. I am married to an A that keeps to himself most of the time. He does not like going to family gatherings (will not d...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Enjoy!The last two lines are mine.as program teaches us, let's go do the next right thing!Love to all,NANUKEDo It Anyway People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are success...

maresie2 · maresie2

Earlier this week I about had a breakdown being afraid the A was going to break in and take the dog (he claims he wants to bring one of the dogs on his cross country saga) and or break into the storage unit and get his tools. In the meantime he got a second hand car with whatever money he got from the insuranc...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

A few weeks ago I posted about being diagnosed with this affliction. At the time I was seriously doubting my sanity and what lay ahead for me. Hubby and I got out of town last week for some seriously overdue R&R and while we were gone I started having muscle spasms to the point that I could barely walk...

QOD · QOD

So we talked last night. He called me as I was coming out of the store w/dinner for me and the kids. He said he was down the street at the movies seeing what was playing and thought he'd try to catch me before deciding what movie to see and when. He said he wanted to come over to see the kids. I told him we'd b...

bev · bev

hi all,well as for my grandkids they are living with my ex-husband..that is a big mistake now i cant talk to my granddaughter,or find out how they are..my ex has already brainwashed my daughter and son {19,22}they dont call me anymore or let me now what is going on..my oldest son{24}CALLS AND TELLS ME W...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, apparently he didn't get released yesterday as planned, there was not a peep from him and his mom said the same. I looked online and it still showed his inmate status as active. Guess his projected release date was off. Anyway it turned out to be a rough night without him. I had $200 in the bank a...

kissers · kissers

the crazier the world seems. Is it me or has anyone else noticed this? My best friend caught her husband with porn on his computer, my other friend's husband of 15 years left the state and now has a new girlfriend, my other friend caught her boyfriend with another woman. My ex contacted me after breaking...

Unsure · Unsure

I haven't been in the room for a few months, things have been so hectic that I am exhausted most of the time. I feel like I have been sideswiped, and I'm still sitting there wondering what just happened. In the last month and a half, I have gone from being relatively happy, to totally miserable and depre...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I know that sounds funny but actually it's work related. Most of you know I am a social worker, I work specifically with people who have HIV/AIDS. Today most everyone from my work is going out on a two day campaign to get folks tested. We will be travelling to all the worst neighborhoods and bribing pe...

shimo · shimo

Anyone else having trouble getting into the chatroom. Arrived around 10 for the meeting and could not get into the room. At first it said my nick was not registered. Then when I finally did get in there was some "Global" message saying sorry for inconveniece. Although I made it to the st...

KimG143 · KimG143

I attended my first al anon meeting this week. After almost 10 years of marriage and feeling so lonely that I thought it wouldn't hurt to try. My husband drank when we first started dating but I thought it was part of a partying period I saw most of my male friends go through. I knew the drinking would...

omajoy · omajoy

Re-joining this site has once again confirmed for me that as a parent of an A with intense family problems, there is no where to really turn. This site and the posts are 99% about spouses, girlfriends, ex-spouses, ex-girlfriends. I am desperate to interact with parents of A's. Mostly on this site the...

goddess · goddess

I've been dating a recovering alcoholic (14 mo. sober) for three months and the relationship just ended today. I know his program is the most important thing right now, yet does it give him the right to be totally self-absorbed, to not ask about me and my life? I have tried to discuss some basic emotiona...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello family, I know it has been a long time since I posted last, but I have been doing ok. HOWEVER....... today is a sad day for me. I got a phone call from my ex-A yesterday, to tell me that his sweet mother, Lucille, passed away Monday in her sleep due to a massive stroke. She was very special to me, and eve...

cen616 · cen616

Hi, all, I've been lurking on this board for close to three months and thought it was about time I said "hello". I've felt an inclination to post on other topics here-and-there, but felt it might be rude not to properly introduce myself first... Unlike many of you, I have only had very recen...

babysteps · babysteps

My AH blew 34.8 days of meetings and sobriety a week and a half ago. Prior to this recent bout with lucidity (his most since rehab over 2 years ago) I made a commitment to myself not to intervene by telling him how his behavior was affecting me because it never seemed to ultimately help things. Well now he i...

Loupiness · Loupiness

The ideas of detachment and "hitting bottom" are really great in theory, but what seems to be forgotten is that the a almsot always does not go down alone. It's my life too! This past Feb we staged an intervention and sent ah to rehab for alcohol, prescription drug(s )use, and an addictiv...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello, I think that I forgot to mention a couple of things that may mean the difference between me going to this funeral or not. Yesterday I got hurt at home and hit my head. I did not go to the hospital because basically I am very stubborn. I may not even be able to go out to take care of my bills/errands and s...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Hi Alanon Family, What a way to start each day!! Stay positive and cherish your serenity!! Would we allow another person to haphazardously withdraw our savings from our CHERISHED bank account? It would be called cheating/stealing!! Why do we allow others to steal our serenity and sanity? Wor...

ragingchild · ragingchild

Behind these eyes lie deep dark wells, wells of emotional no one knows of, deep dark emotions stir, "give them not away" I say, "let no one see the deeper side of me". Behind my eyes lies pain and heartache, fear, rejection lie in wait, waiting for the right moment, to bust the wall...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))))))) Feeling horrible this week. Why oh why, can I not learn from a mistake, without going and doing it again.??? I got out of a relationship with the A. He didn't deserve me, and looking back I now see just how selfish, and out for himself he was. So, I tried ag...

maresie2 · maresie2

For me its now not if but when the A is going to go to jail. I hung on and hung on and hung on to try to retrieve something from the huge mess he's made of every single thing in the last year. He continues to act out and continues really to display impetuous, crazy, self absorbed behavior. There were some good o...

Destynee · Destynee

My husband is an alcoholic. It's tearing us apart. I have a 7 month old daughter that he watches 2 days a week so we don't have to send her to daycare. Last Friday he was found passed out on the sofa while she was screaming in her crib. I told him I no longer feel safe with him watching her. He gives me every e...

ragingchild · ragingchild

I haven't been here in ages but I hope ya'll can help. I went to a get together at a friends house and I knew before we went there would be drinking which was fine. I told them as long as nothing got violent or rough I would be ok, but if it did get out of hand I was going to leave right there and then. Nothing ha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	This evening I am angry (Preview) Partner has not had a drink in several months. All that means is that the next three-day "gentleman's vacation" is closer to happening. We never discuss his alcoholism. He totally disregards it as if it does not exist. No need for me to attempt to tell him how I feel about anything. He ch...	Diva	12	738	Oct 10, 2007 by bubbles1990
	Laugh, I suppose... (Preview) Boy, 6, tries to drive to Applebees Wed Oct 10, 4:48 AM ET BROOMFIELD, Colo. - A 6-year-old boy was hungry and decided he'd go to Applebees. So he grabbed the car keys, took his booster seat from the back seat of his grandmother's car and placed it in the driver's seat, then made a go of driving himself to th...	Tiger2006	3	470	Oct 10, 2007 by bubbles1990
	misfit , mayham and miscarriage (Preview) this last week has been one of mayham. i bought a bed for a reduced price, believing the seller, when, i was told i was recieving a GREAT deal for a foam filled bed. GUARANTEED. i got the bed home and the foam filled bed turned out to be springs. bad backs run in my family. i have taken good care of mine, and, wo...	beaulahg	7	636	Oct 10, 2007 by Friendofyours
	One of our hen's is having a birthday!!!! (Preview) (((((((((((((Belle1)))))))))))))) Happy Birthday Hen!!!! Sorry its so late but I just got home from work. Hope you had a great day!! Many happy returns. Love ya Hen Shad	shadow1	5	427	Oct 10, 2007 by belle1
	Frequently Asked Questions (Preview) Hello (((everyone))) This a compilation of frequently asked questions, that we are trying to get together for permant posting on this site. I have compiled this list from the post we have had up on the board for the last month and from discussions with members. Please review these. If you have any sugg...	david62	14	1008	Oct 10, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	mess mess and more mess (Preview) The A went to court today and it will be a while till I learn what happened. Meantime he has left the place where he was living with a padklock on the door. Needless to say the people there are none too happy about that. I am doing my best not to be roped in. I have put in a request for my bicycle which I am sure he h...	maresie2	5	591	Oct 10, 2007 by maresie2
	Checking in from Alaska (Preview) Hi Peeps! I made it to Alaska after an all day trip in airports and jets. I really dislike getting here but I guess I could look at the alternative...driving..lol I always get a window seat so I can have something to look at. This time I went thru Utah to hitch the ride to Anchorage. Man! Was it ever pretty...	Christy	14	835	Oct 10, 2007 by beaulahg
	Do you have a quiet spot, away from the chaos? (Preview) As the days shorten and less hours are spent outside, we all need that special place, a quiet place, where we can unwind, relax, and just focus on OUR needs only. Dealing with the disease of alcoholism can drain of us energy, self worth, self esteem etc.....Keeping the focus on ourselves can be a daunt...	gardengal	4	438	Oct 10, 2007 by beaulahg
	It Never Fails!!! (Preview) Hi There Everyone!! It's been a LONNNNGGGGG time since I've popped in to write anything...but I have been here reading and checking out alot of the posts. I decided to stop in and write because it's been a whole nine months now that I've been away from my "AH" and just when I think he's not goi...	afmom03	3	437	Oct 9, 2007 by marmare
	Help (Preview) I just told my AH that I would be attending another alanon meeting tomorrow night and my mom would be coming over to babysit since he had a practice with his band. He was visibly upset. Ten minutes later he came into the living room and spouted angrily "Do you plan to do this every Tuesday night?&q...	KimG143	19	645	Oct 9, 2007 by wp
	On Vacation!!! (Preview) I'm having a great time in Orlando! We have been to Universal studios today and I am EXHAUSTED!!! We were only there 5 hours but it seems like 24! It was HOT and humid but fun just so much walking and go, go, go. I met a man in the pool earlier from England and he was very nice, always great to meet people fr...	carolinagirl	6	478	Oct 9, 2007 by maresie2
	On vacation! (Preview) (((((((((((Family))))))))))), After a very long and hard week of work: I AM ON VACATION! I am so excited. Can you tell? Now we're not going to any place exotic, but does that matter? I'm just grateful that I have a job that allows me 3 weeks of vacation a year. We have some long standing traditions f...	Karilynn	5	452	Oct 9, 2007 by tea2
	Blessing of the hawk... (Preview) (((((((Everyone))))))) I am feeling so full of HP grace today. Over the years I had become so accustomed to hating the weekends... Isn't that basackwards... I hear people at work say .... boy, thank God it's friday. I smile and say 'Yeah'... But I just couldn't wait for it to be over. At work I didn...	rtexas	5	714	Oct 9, 2007 by Loupiness
	Its a sad day (Preview) Well as some of you may know, I asked my A to leave and told him i was filing for divorce. I thought he would go when i told him about filing but he hasn't. He has stuck around and been drunk ever since. Then worst part of it all is that tomorrow (Sat) is/would be our 17 wedding anny and i just can't get out of my h...	shadow1	7	725	Oct 9, 2007 by bubbles1990
	just wanted you to know (Preview) Just wanted you all to know that 10/20 I will be having a family session with my parents and my councelor. I expect it to be emotional and challenging, as things with my parents often are. As I prepare myself, I know that I am going to be okay no matter what. But I am still somewhat anxious. Like I said, j...	Tiger2006	4	505	Oct 9, 2007 by bubbles1990
	72 hellacious hours (Preview) I have been through 72 hours of hell. The phone has been ringing for three days with useless "conversations" with my son...the probable A. I say probable because it is so hard to determine. But after studying the posts on this site for over a year, sharing in some f to f meetings, I know I am del...	omajoy	5	609	Oct 8, 2007 by maresie2
	The pendulum swings the other way(crazy rant) (Preview) I have spent my entire life being over responsible. Especially for the A but for everyone in my life. I saw this and vowed to change this behavior because I didn't want my kids to do this too. I have since spent all my time trying my hardest to be healthy and balanced. In doing so, I very rarely let the pendul...	serendipity	8	657	Oct 8, 2007 by carolinagirl
	The Wheelchair is Gone! (Preview) (((((((((Family)))))))))), Just wanted to share some exciting news with you all. We sent back hubby's wheelchair this week! We have had this thing since April 30 and have made good use of it. But he hasn't used in since starting his physical therapy and it was time to go. He is still in his walker ca...	Karilynn	5	660	Oct 8, 2007 by maresie2
	Supporting versus Accepting (Preview) I've been struggling with this concept for awhile now. I want to be there to support my mom through life but I don't want that to mean that I accept her behavior. Is there a way that I can support her through her tough times of being Bi-Polar and having chronic health issues without accepting her behavior...	loper410	2	513	Oct 8, 2007 by Jen
	I'm new and am looking for advice. (Preview) Wow, I really don't even know where to begin. So many things are running around in my head. I'm a senior at college and have recently come to terms with the fact that my mom is addicted to pain medications. She has chronic health issues that she needs pain meds for so she never has any problems getting them...	loper410	6	632	Oct 8, 2007 by loper410
	easy does it (Preview) One giant step for helpers and fixers and controlling people is to slow way down with the easy does it slogan. Even after hitting the al anon books, meetings and message boards hard and fast, then slowing down to easy does it with just some daily reading and meetings it is still too fast. Then trying t...	ddub	6	462	Oct 8, 2007 by maresie2
	How do I deal with this? (Preview) This is all new to me (Al-Anon). For 2 years after I was married, my AH would go out with his drinking buddies and not come home all night. Since August of 2006 he hasn't done it. But while I was at my mom's 20 minutes ago he took off. I don't think I can do this by myself again. Things have been terrible si...	Destynee	5	554	Oct 8, 2007 by QOD
	Manipulation and lies... (Preview) ((((((((((Everyone))))))))))) It really is amazing as I look back over my life and see how easily I used to accept lies as truth, and manipulation as direction. It is almost like I had a wire unhooked to my BS meter. Maybe it was more my fears ... fear of conflict, fear of letting others down and fear of...	rtexas	7	808	Oct 8, 2007 by QOD
	Alanon on You Tube (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClnkLyjrp1Y	kissers	1	1141	Oct 8, 2007 by tiredtonite
	Is this common to feel like this? (Preview) Hi, I am living with a A...it seems to have gotten worse. I went to therapy finally to help me deal with my inner anger. I cannot cry in front of him or the verbal argument gets worse. I cannot sleep & have to work. We do very little together. i have tried to do more but the friends come over & its a big i...	alanon_2002	8	560	Oct 8, 2007 by Kim65
	Wondering about ERIN (Preview) Just a note to say Erin has been in my thoughts. Has anyone heard how she is doing? Thanks, mspw	wp	1	455	Oct 8, 2007 by doxie
	Share I found (Preview) In the "Getting Them Sober, volume one" book, it talks about how one of the main things that partners of alcoholics have in common, is trying to show the alcoholic how much we can do for them, instead of even thinking of asking how much they can do for us. This is such a knee-jerk action for us.....	kissers	3	499	Oct 7, 2007 by ddub
	Detachment (Preview) I recently found a website that has some fantastic tools for recovery on it. One of which is a great outline on detachment. I wish I'd of had this when I first started in the program. Check it out if you wish. www.coping.org The subjects covered are listed on the lefthand side. Barb	Mobirdie	3	481	Oct 7, 2007 by Mobirdie
	Face to Face Al-Anon Meetings (Preview) I'm looking to attend my first Al-Anon meeting on Tuesday night. I was wondering if it was okay if a friend came with me? I'm really nervous about taking this step and I know if someone came with me then it would make this first step a lot easier. - Julie	loper410	2	448	Oct 7, 2007 by lin0606
	TM from AH. What do I do with it? (Preview) Ok so after all that my AH said the other night, he just text messaged me. Love u more every day-will be here waiting if u ever want me back in your life What the heck am I supposed to do with that? I mean, the other day he was mad b/c he wasn't getting laid and said we needed to start seeing other people. Now th...	QOD	9	739	Oct 7, 2007 by twinkie
	HAPPY THANKS GIVING!!!! (Preview) Happy Thanks giving to all my Canadian friends. I hope you have a great weekend, I for one will take this weekend to think about all the things I am grateful & thankful for. Living with an A has so many negative things we have to deal with, but we also have alot of positive things in our lives to be gratef...	serenity62	2	456	Oct 7, 2007 by Karilynn
	Fun and Laughs (Preview) Today is my husband's birthday, and I took him to the Stoogeum (Museum of Stooges!) for a suprise. I am not a stooges fan, but I had no idea how much I would like it. I went in with my prejudices - and I was seduced by the chuckles and giggling of the big crowd as they made their way around the exhibits. I figure...	Jill	1	423	Oct 7, 2007 by Maria123
	Tonight's Business Meeting - October 7th @ 9 PM EST (Preview) OCTOBER 7TH AGENDA I. OP SCHEDULE II. SECRETARY'S REPORT A. Minutes Review/Approval September 9th III. TREASURER'S REPORT A. 7th Tradition Donations IV. OLD BUSINESS A. FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions) V. NEW BUSINESS A. Rotation of Service (New Chairman, Secretary, Treasurer) Reco...	Maria123	0	324	Oct 7, 2007 by Maria123
	lost (Preview) lost functioning, lost logic and lost any intelligence I may have. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I am such a mental case and I can't think straight to figgure anything out. I try to be normal whatever that is in front of kids. don't trust AH but want to, I see therapist, I go to f2f meetings, I am n...	ddub	10	501	Oct 6, 2007 by ddub
	recovering AH rightousness (Preview) I married a recovering A 2 years ago, sober 25 years. I have children, he was never married. My ex is a very angry, vindictful man. My husband has no tolerance for my ex, which I understand, but he expects me to totally cut him off and this is really hurting my kids. I feel I need to go overboard for my chil...	october	5	595	Oct 6, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	Reclusive (Preview) I've been visiting this message board every day since my first post a couple of days ago. Reading other's stories has helped know I am not alone as I begin this journey of self-awareness. I am married to an A that keeps to himself most of the time. He does not like going to family gatherings (will not d...	KimG143	4	440	Oct 6, 2007 by KimG143
	DO IT ANYWAYS (Preview) *Enjoy!The last two lines are mine.as program teaches us, let's go do the next right thing!Love to all,NANUKEDo It Anyway* People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are success...	NANUKE	1	444	Oct 6, 2007 by Tiger2006
	4 days and counting (Preview) Earlier this week I about had a breakdown being afraid the A was going to break in and take the dog (he claims he wants to bring one of the dogs on his cross country saga) and or break into the storage unit and get his tools. In the meantime he got a second hand car with whatever money he got from the insuranc...	maresie2	4	375	Oct 6, 2007 by leo
	Emotional Exhaustion update (Preview) A few weeks ago I posted about being diagnosed with this affliction. At the time I was seriously doubting my sanity and what lay ahead for me. Hubby and I got out of town last week for some seriously overdue R&R and while we were gone I started having muscle spasms to the point that I could barely walk...	Mobirdie	4	430	Oct 5, 2007 by Kim65
	AH & I talked last night (Preview) So we talked last night. He called me as I was coming out of the store w/dinner for me and the kids. He said he was down the street at the movies seeing what was playing and thought he'd try to catch me before deciding what movie to see and when. He said he wanted to come over to see the kids. I told him we'd b...	QOD	7	753	Oct 5, 2007 by twinkie
	update (Preview) hi all,well as for my grandkids they are living with my ex-husband..that is a big mistake now i cant talk to my granddaughter,or find out how they are..my ex has already brainwashed my daughter and son {19,22}they dont call me anymore or let me now what is going on..my oldest son{24}CALLS AND TELLS ME W...	bev	2	411	Oct 5, 2007 by twinkie
	Not a peep! (Preview) Well, apparently he didn't get released yesterday as planned, there was not a peep from him and his mom said the same. I looked online and it still showed his inmate status as active. Guess his projected release date was off. Anyway it turned out to be a rough night without him. I had $200 in the bank a...	carolinagirl	3	483	Oct 5, 2007 by maresie2
	The More Al Anon I Get... (Preview) the crazier the world seems. Is it me or has anyone else noticed this? My best friend caught her husband with porn on his computer, my other friend's husband of 15 years left the state and now has a new girlfriend, my other friend caught her boyfriend with another woman. My ex contacted me after breaking...	kissers	5	592	Oct 5, 2007 by marmare
	I've Been SIdeswiped (Preview) I haven't been in the room for a few months, things have been so hectic that I am exhausted most of the time. I feel like I have been sideswiped, and I'm still sitting there wondering what just happened. In the last month and a half, I have gone from being relatively happy, to totally miserable and depre...	Unsure	10	762	Oct 5, 2007 by maresie2
	Participating in the RIOT! (Preview) I know that sounds funny but actually it's work related. Most of you know I am a social worker, I work specifically with people who have HIV/AIDS. Today most everyone from my work is going out on a two day campaign to get folks tested. We will be travelling to all the worst neighborhoods and bribing pe...	carolinagirl	3	508	Oct 5, 2007 by maresie2
	Trouble Getting Into Chat from Mirc (Preview) Anyone else having trouble getting into the chatroom. Arrived around 10 for the meeting and could not get into the room. At first it said my nick was not registered. Then when I finally did get in there was some "Global" message saying sorry for inconveniece. Although I made it to the st...	shimo	3	378	Oct 5, 2007 by shimo
	New, confused and afraid (Preview) I attended my first al anon meeting this week. After almost 10 years of marriage and feeling so lonely that I thought it wouldn't hurt to try. My husband drank when we first started dating but I thought it was part of a partying period I saw most of my male friends go through. I knew the drinking would...	KimG143	7	611	Oct 5, 2007 by Lily550
	relationship factors in A (Preview) Re-joining this site has once again confirmed for me that as a parent of an A with intense family problems, there is no where to really turn. This site and the posts are 99% about spouses, girlfriends, ex-spouses, ex-girlfriends. I am desperate to interact with parents of A's. Mostly on this site the...	omajoy	9	699	Oct 5, 2007 by Jerry F
	Dating a Recovering Alcoholic (Preview) I've been dating a recovering alcoholic (14 mo. sober) for three months and the relationship just ended today. I know his program is the most important thing right now, yet does it give him the right to be totally self-absorbed, to not ask about me and my life? I have tried to discuss some basic emotiona...	goddess	7	1853	Oct 5, 2007 by Jerry F
	My ex-A 's mother died ESH requested (Preview) Hello family, I know it has been a long time since I posted last, but I have been doing ok. HOWEVER....... today is a sad day for me. I got a phone call from my ex-A yesterday, to tell me that his sweet mother, Lucille, passed away Monday in her sleep due to a massive stroke. She was very special to me, and eve...	hippietrippiechick	4	754	Oct 4, 2007 by Jerry F
	Introducing myself (Preview) Hi, all, I've been lurking on this board for close to three months and thought it was about time I said "hello". I've felt an inclination to post on other topics here-and-there, but felt it might be rude not to properly introduce myself first... Unlike many of you, I have only had very recen...	cen616	5	825	Oct 4, 2007 by abbyal
	Need Reassurance Please! (Preview) My AH blew 34.8 days of meetings and sobriety a week and a half ago. Prior to this recent bout with lucidity (his most since rehab over 2 years ago) I made a commitment to myself not to intervene by telling him how his behavior was affecting me because it never seemed to ultimately help things. Well now he i...	babysteps	4	598	Oct 4, 2007 by QOD
	but it's MY LIFE too :-( (Preview) The ideas of detachment and "hitting bottom" are really great in theory, but what seems to be forgotten is that the a almsot always does not go down alone. It's my life too! This past Feb we staged an intervention and sent ah to rehab for alcohol, prescription drug(s )use, and an addictiv...	Loupiness	10	649	Oct 4, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	update on my ex-A's mom's funeral -- ESH please (Preview) Hello, I think that I forgot to mention a couple of things that may mean the difference between me going to this funeral or not. Yesterday I got hurt at home and hit my head. I did not go to the hospital because basically I am very stubborn. I may not even be able to go out to take care of my bills/errands and s...	hippietrippiechick	2	339	Oct 4, 2007 by Friendofyours
	ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE: YOUR CALL OR COLLAPSE (Preview) Hi Alanon Family, What a way to start each day!! Stay positive and cherish your serenity!! Would we allow another person to haphazardously withdraw our savings from our CHERISHED bank account? It would be called cheating/stealing!! Why do we allow others to steal our serenity and sanity? Wor...	NANUKE	0	338	Oct 4, 2007 by NANUKE
	A poem... (Preview) Behind these eyes lie deep dark wells, wells of emotional no one knows of, deep dark emotions stir, "give them not away" I say, "let no one see the deeper side of me". Behind my eyes lies pain and heartache, fear, rejection lie in wait, waiting for the right moment, to bust the wall...	ragingchild	1	344	Oct 4, 2007 by nmike
	FEELING HORRIBLE AGAIN!!!!! (Preview) (((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))))))) Feeling horrible this week. Why oh why, can I not learn from a mistake, without going and doing it again.??? I got out of a relationship with the A. He didn't deserve me, and looking back I now see just how selfish, and out for himself he was. So, I tried ag...	ally	8	739	Oct 4, 2007 by ddub
	regrouping (Preview) For me its now not if but when the A is going to go to jail. I hung on and hung on and hung on to try to retrieve something from the huge mess he's made of every single thing in the last year. He continues to act out and continues really to display impetuous, crazy, self absorbed behavior. There were some good o...	maresie2	4	450	Oct 3, 2007 by Christy
	New Here (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. It's tearing us apart. I have a 7 month old daughter that he watches 2 days a week so we don't have to send her to daycare. Last Friday he was found passed out on the sofa while she was screaming in her crib. I told him I no longer feel safe with him watching her. He gives me every e...	Destynee	7	499	Oct 3, 2007 by wp
	Question (Preview) I haven't been here in ages but I hope ya'll can help. I went to a get together at a friends house and I knew before we went there would be drinking which was fine. I told them as long as nothing got violent or rough I would be ok, but if it did get out of hand I was going to leave right there and then. Nothing ha...	ragingchild	5	482	Oct 3, 2007 by ragingchild
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.