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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> mess mess and more mess
Post Info TOPIC: mess mess and more mess
maresie2


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mess mess and more mess
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The A went to court today and it will be a while till I learn what happened. Meantime he has left the place where he was living with a padklock on the door. Needless to say the people there are none too happy about that. I am doing my best not to be roped in. I have put in a request for my bicycle which I am sure he has not taken. I am sure they will go on and on and on about the mess. They say they began legal proceedings but I highly doubt it. The issue needless to say is that I just want my bicycle. I dont' want to protect the A justify him, contact him or have anything to do with him. I'm so sick of the mess he gets himself into and the way it comes back on me. I stepped out of it.

I am not that interested in how the court went. I am certain he has jail time coming. As and when I learn about its fine by me.

I do pay a lot of attention these days to people who are demanding. The people who he was staying with are real liars and dramarama agents. I do not want them in my life anymore at the same time I wouldn't mind getting my bicycle if I can get it. I can undrstand they are fed up to the back teeth with him. I also dont' want to give him any mixed messages about the fact I'm interested in him or his welfare. I am not. I want nothing more to do with him.

I guess this saga will take a while longer to play out. I also know that I need more and more and more practice on boundaries and self care. I am so lacking in that respect.

maresie.

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maresie
Christy


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Maresie,

I understand you want your bike, especially after all you've sacrificed...but to have to deal with "those people", how important is it?  Unless it's a gazillion $$ bike you can get another, probably even free.
You might consider joining http://www.freecycle.org/.  Heck, I've seen people give away cars and hot tubs.  I'm sure a bike would be available and you'll be helping the environment by keeping one out of the landfill (the point of freecycle).  Sometimes what appears  "right" is just too darn stressful.
Just a thought...

take care,
Christy

-- Edited by Christy at 19:57, 2007-10-09

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debilyn


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what self care mary? I am sure impressed at how far you have gotten.

You can call the courts to find out what his sentence was.

Hey don't be too concerned over a bike. We can find you another if you cannot get it. Be good for you to have one and a little trailor thing.

I hope you are feeling ok. Have you been to a doctor yet?

much love,debilyn



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maire rua


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I can fully identify, especially with the dramarama agent, boy they take a lot of energy, if it means taking care of you, ring the court to find out what the story is, I hope you get your bike, you get used to a certain cycle at times, take care

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Maire rua
Friendofyours


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I agree with the other's. It's only a bike. You are doing yourself more harm by worrying about what's going on with him. You have enough going on with yourself then to worry about him. Keep repeating....detachment, detachment, detachment. Take care.

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maresie2


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I think I may have to let this one go. The people who he rented from do not mention the bike. They'd like me to go down and clean up the A's mess and I am not going to. They can clean it up. I told them months ago he was due to go to court and they chose to continue dealing with him. I am not responsible for his mess and I am not cleaning it up. I've cleaned up enough messes of his to last me a lifetime.

So I am letting go. I did ask. I did request. I did it nicely even though they are really disagreeable people. I did not get into the A's business. I did not go into a rageathon about the A. I did not speculate on where he is. I don't care actually.

I did better that's all I can do each day each day do better.

maresie.

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maresie
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> mess mess and more mess