The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Wow, I really don't even know where to begin. So many things are running around in my head.
I'm a senior at college and have recently come to terms with the fact that my mom is addicted to pain medications. She has chronic health issues that she needs pain meds for so she never has any problems getting them from her various doctors. What scares me the most is the fact that she is also Bi-polar so she isn't necessarily stable. She has had atleast five occassions in which she overdoses on her pain meds when she is really depressed. I'm deathly afraid that one of these times she is going to take one too many pills.
I go to college that is two and half hours away from my hometown so it's really difficult not being able to control her in take. Thanks to the help of my sorority sisters I've been getting help with seeing some counselors. We did a mini intervention on her but my mom keeps denying it and saying that she is fine and in control. I know that I can't change the person she is and I can't control what she does but I'm really afraid this is going to kill her.
I really don't know what to do. I've been advised to go to a local Al-Anon meeting but I can't seem to get myself to one. Does anyone have any suggestions?
((((Julie))) (cyber hugs)), It sounds if your mom is really in denial, probably more so because of her being bi polar.Theres not much you can do to help her,but you have to take care of yourself, have you heard of the 3 c's??
We didnt cause it
we can't control it
we cannot cure it.....
You are not responsible for your moms actions, she is an adult and until SHE decides to seek help, our hands are tied unfortunately. I suggest trying to get to f2f alanon meetings, Good luck, come join our meetings here, its a great group, helps to vent too:).
Sadly, there is very little you can do. If there was a way for us to get them sober, make them get clean - well, there would be no addicts.
Alanon is not for your mom, it's for you. You need some support and help getting through this - it's too difficult to do on your own. All you can do for your mom is to let her know that you care about her, and, if you are enabling her in any way, stop. There is a lot you can do for yourself, though. I hope you find a meeting, or spend some time here.
Sounds like Alanon can really help you Loper :). It also sounds like you feel very very responsible for your mother's welfare. Do you some how try and limit her pill taking, and now that you're far away, worry that she'll over do in your absense?
You've gotten good Alanon advice so far :) This is a fantastic group of people and a few with alcoholic parents too.
It's sad to see a young woman on the brink of her adulthood feeling soooooo responsible for her mother's life. Alanon taught me that I can't "fix" another person, no human being is able to change another's thoughts or feelings if they don't want them changed. All we can do -- and sometimes, this helps the addict too, indirectly--is make ourselves as healthy and emotionally aware as we can be. Living with addiction or alcoholism is WAY too much to do alone. It must be exhausting worrying about your mom, and even more exhausting to have to watch her like a hawk.
I'm tired just reading about it :) .
Please join us here at least. Try out a regular meeting too, most of us swear by them :) And today, begin to look out for yourself FIRST.
Welcome to the MIP family. Here you will find great experience, hope, strength, wisdom and humor (good for the ). I am so sorry about your Mom. An addict is going to do what an addict is going to do, sober or not. There is nothing you can do about it.
Having said that, there is hope and recovery for you. Recovery has to be about you and for you, regardless if Mom chooses recovery or not. Alanon can absolutely help you. I can't begin to tell what a blessing it has been to me. The more you learn about this disease called addiction, the more you'll understand the impact it has had on you. We know we are miserable and scared for our loved ones. But sometimes we really don't understand what it is doing to us. We often have a saying that we can end up just as sick, and sometimes sicker than our addict. But we can and do recover. We have tools to help us. They are incredibly valuable. We learns new ways to react to the same old situation. We get better. I strongly urge you to find a local meeting or join us here if there isn't one nearby. I wouldn't be surprised if there isn't one on campus for you.
Go back and read the old posts. There's lots of hope and wisdom back there. No matter what, take good care of you. This disease isn't your fault and you can't control it. It's up to Mom. I hope she finds her path to recovery. I know you will. Please keep coming back to us. You are not alone on this journey of recovery. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <--- the cat
-- Edited by Karilynn at 14:32, 2007-10-07
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
If you can get to a meeting, please do. For me, it was the best thing that ever happened for me. I've been going faithfully for 1 1/2 years. I went to Al-Anon hoping they would give me the answer on how to control and stop my Alcoholic from drinking and killing himself. In Al-Anon I found warm and loving people who knew exactly how I was feeling. And I learned that the true answer was not to control the Alcoholic but to learn to take care of me. For the first time I didn't feel crazy or isolated or ashamed when I was with this group. I gained so much peace from the insanity of the addiction and learned how to detach with love to keep myself from going crazy. You are one step ahead of the game realizing you can't control it, you didn't cause it and you can't cure your mother's pill taking. Your mother has to come to that realization herself. Take it one day at a time. Keep coming back - it truly works if you work the program.
Thank you all for your advice! It's so new to me to realize that I can get help for myself. I'm terrified at taking this step but I'm going to attend my first Al-Anon meeting tomorrow night. I figured since that I'm going to be graduating in May with a degree in Social Work that if I can't help myself, how am I suppose to help others out there.
I know that deep down I will get through this, no matter where the road takes me. It's just hard to always stay positive. I find myself contradicting all the decisions I've made.
). I am so sorry about your Mom. An addict is going to do what an addict is going to do, sober or not. There is nothing you can do about it.
We have tools to help us. They are incredibly valuable. We learns new ways to react to the same old situation. We get better. I strongly urge you to find a local meeting or join us here if there isn't one nearby. I wouldn't be surprised if there isn't one on campus for you. 