Hi everyone..
I am grateful to find a place to put down my words about my situation, knowing it will be treated with respect and perhaps some recognition of the emotions I am going through!!

A couple of years ago, my kids and I moved across the country to the west coast of Canada. We left all our family behind. My younger kids dad,  decided to follow us as he wanted to remain in contact and connection to the kids.
Unfortunatly, he was seriously in his disease, and I was worried about my kids well being, so i did not give permission for him to see them until I was sure it was safe for them, and he was working a recover.,, he dabbles in recovery, never really getting far then stops, starts, etc.
They have been seeing each other for about a year now, he is a passionate committed dad who wants to see his kids do well.
My family and my inlaws ( my kids dad and I separated a year before we moved here), were not too happy about the move. And all of them were very confused about why I did not want him to see the kids since he was soooo committed to seeing them and wanted to spend time with them. Even when they were apart, he phoned and read stories every single day to them and caught up on the daily stuff. I was perplexed as why they all didn't understand, as it was alllll explained to them, I was worried about the girls being sexually abused,,, he is a cross addicted, sex addiction being one of the big ones... so, it seemed obvious to ME.
My mother in law and I have a good relationship with each other. Although she does not agree with some of my decisions, she thinks I am a good mom and work hard to take care of her grandchildren and likes spending time with us when she visits . She spent 4 months here in the summer, and we saw her frequently.
Though during this time we also knew something was not 'right' and her cognitive abilities were declining FAST... we did not know why though. When she went back to her home, she declined even faster and her physical health also deteriorated. My sister in law brought her to the hospital, and she got some tests, the results were not very good. The doctors think she is too frail to do anything and so will only give her some meds, but not enough to try to 'cure ; her, only to help relieve a bit of the pressure so she can think better.
My ex husband and I decided it would be best to get the kds there pronto, before she loses any more of her cognitive abilities and the kids can see her when she remembers them. Apparently during her hospital stay she seems to have become more frail.  
My sister in law is sending messages updating us on how she is doing, ( us and lots of other people>) she has offered a room in her home for anyone wanting to visit from out of town so there would be 'no regrets.'
Apparently this did not apply to my children and myself.
Since my mother in law is in the hospital, and i spoke to my exhusband about it, we thought it would be fine for me and the kids to stay at my mother in laws, while she was sick and then we could help her out, even when she got out of the hospital. She has a one bedroom apartment, not too big. I booked a flight for my kids ( 3 of the 4 ) and myself, and my ex. Then i got the news that we were not going to be allowed to stay in my mother in laws place, and no effort was made to let us stay at my sister in laws either. Sigh. I worked sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard to try to find a pet free place to live for a month . I called everyone I had in my personal phone book, I posted an ad on the internet , I emailed her church to ask for help, I emailed all the religious orginizations I thought could help me, I called my alanon friends, and even a announcement was said at the meeting ( in the city my mother in law lives.) whew.. i worked soo hard, I prayed, I packed, I had faith. I also had two hours before the flight to reschedule or to get a credit, or I would lose my flight.
I called 10 minutes before I would lose the money for the flight. I am discouraged and confused. ( the flight would have been yesterday). I have a place for my oldest daughter, she is there now, saying she wants to come home, she misses me and home. ( although for 2 years she has wanted to go back, now that she has she wants to be here!! sheesh).
I have a son ( 18 ) who is very depressed and wants to go back but only with the whole family.
I have my ex who wants to move back because he says if feels more like home than it does here....
I have a sister in law, and father in law who have a lot of resentment and animositiy towards me and are showing no support or encouragement for the kids and I to come, even though we are going to there to help my mother in law ( father in law lives 2 hours away from there anyways, and is divorced from mymother in law.)
I want to go and help. MY kids want to go and see their grandmother, i need to go with them . And I don't know what kind of response I will get when there. MY ex wants me to come with the girls.
The thing is I am going to be with my mother in law... not my sister in law. BUt .. my sister in law exerts power. And is not too happy with me. I was thinking I could just see mother in law when she was not there!!!
IT is a 4 1/2 hour flight, there, and a lot of money to go, I don't want to go and be into arguements and negative stuff.. this will not help my mother in law.
I love my her. She is so sweet and nice, and I know she loves me.
I need some feedback on this, some esh.. I knowh hp led me here today. I have not been on boards for a LONG time, or in rooms. as i dont get to the computer much. And,, even after this LONG LONG post,, there is still more going on, lol, as if I could write more now!!! It is not so positive. A very very negative delusional letter written about me to the courts from my first ex husband, who only wants to vary child support, but said all kinds of nasty things that contradicted each other and were really a lot of lies.
Though today i did go for a hike with the kids up a mountain, and it was beautiful.
I have not been nice to my kids entirely, they have pushed the limits, though that is probably because I am stressed and not paying great attention to them.
Thanks for reading and listening.