The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am feeling so full of HP grace today. Over the years I had become so accustomed to hating the weekends... Isn't that basackwards...
I hear people at work say .... boy, thank God it's friday. I smile and say 'Yeah'... But I just couldn't wait for it to be over. At work I didn't have to deal with me or anyone else. Just bury my head in the computer... and let the rest dissapear. (course it didn't, just a game I played with myself.)
At a F2F meeting a little while back there were 2 newcomers and they really had that deer in the headlights look. I shared with them how everyone is different, and thier situations can all be challenging, but we all have been where they are even if our situations are not identical. The internal struggle is so common.
I shared that I used to hate to go home... I would turn the corner to my street, and see the cars in the driveway and just want to turn around and leave. Just didn't want to face it... then I felt intense guilt for that thought.
With your help, I have found the faith that the world is not out to get me... that my HP doesn't have any intention of me living a more miserable life that I decide to live.
I was reflecting today on how much more centered I am now, how opening up to friends and family has become a blessing... and I heard some birds in my yard just having an absolute fit.
So I walked out to see what all the ruckus was about, and there was a hawk in the tree. It was just sitting there watching me. Ignoring the cackling birds all around and just enjoying the early morning sun.
I don't think there is any particular blessing in having a hawk in my tree... I am not superstitious. But I think there is a tremendious blessing in the fact that I am not so wrapped up in my own garbage that I was open to looking up... and seeing it.
Matter of fact, he was so unaffected by the world around him, that I was able to walk to my truck and grab my camera... not 10 feet away from him and shoot a picture.
Thought I would share it with my family... I love you all in a very special way.
Have a wonderful day... no matter what. *smile*
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
What a beautiful post and picture. While it doesn't look like a Phoenix to me, in many ways it could be.
I remember those days of hating to go home. I never knew what I was coming home to. Would he be passed out (usually)? Would he have forgotten to take his meds? Would the place be trashed because he stumbled? Would he be driving? Would I come home and find him dead because he took the wrong dose of pills? HP willing, I hope never to feel that way again.
You're right with the help of this program and my family here we can all change, grow and stop and enjoy the roses. I am so hoping to see a bald eagle this week when we go down and the father-in-law. I have never seen one in the wild. Thanks for sharing that special moment with us.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty (who would NOT go after the hawk, I hope! )
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
somehow when we see things like that it centers me/us. It makes me realize that HP isn't far away. HP is with us everyday in every living thing and surrounding us. We just have, as they say "stop and smell the roses".
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Loved that post! Thank you! I am still going through the "hate to go home" blues. I will never forget once finding him passed out on the sidewalk outside. It was so cold, and my first instinct was to cover him up, but I didn't. I let him stay that way and just went to bed. I still look to make sure he isn't lying there again when I pull up into the driveway, and that has been 2 years ago. I work 3 jobs, and I know I wouldn't do that if there wasn't a drunk here to have to come home to. I'm really close to moving out. I stayed at my daughter's for a whole hour tonight and watched my grandchildren play. I haven't taken the time to do that in quite a while. I am usually in and out, with a hug and a quick kiss. I have to make some time to be with them. Your post was very timely for me! Thank you for your inspiration.
BEAUTIFUL!!!! How lucky you are to be able to see that wonderous creature in your trees.!!! Not many of us get to experience such marvelous beauty in the midst of all of our chaos!!
The red tail hawk has special meaning to me, because it is one my ah has always been enamored with. He never hesitates to point out when he sees one. When he got into professional school we went to a restaraunt to celebrate (with Red Tail Ale of course) and we saw one fly by while sitting on the deck. Thus, it stands as a symbol of joy, celebrations, miracles and happy times for me. Much needed memories right now...
Thanks for sharing that!
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
