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My 9 month old's father hasn't been very involved in his life, a lot of it has to do with my trust issues with him. How can I leave my baby alone with a man who can't control his drinking? I've given him the option to have his mother or me around for visits, that was never good enough he wanted it his way or no way. So now he is out of his treatment center still on step 1. A few weeks ago I saw a change in him, I thought he was going to try. but that has quickly changed. He has been sober for around 90 days and he is acting the same as he did when he was deep into the drinking. I've heard of the term dry drunk but he has so many thoughts that people are after him. I am afraid he is going to hurt me, possibly kill me with the thoughts that he spews at me. I am to a point that I believe there is more than an alcohol problem maybe he's bi-polar or someone told me that meth will cause the same symptoms and that his brain could be damaged from any drug use that he will never get better. So what is the right thing to do with my baby? Everyone says I can't keep him from his son, but if I'm afraid he'll hurt me why wouldn't he hurt my baby? I know I have the option to get an order for protection, but that will make him even more likely to retaliate. I was told to cut ties with him, the only tie we have is the baby, I started to believe he was going to make the effort and was so excited that my son might get his father back, but then his insane delusions took over again & they scare me so much.
Please seek advice from professionals regarding your rights and ways you can legally protect your child. These bits of information can be found free in the USA by contacting government agencies.
Your instincts are correct. If you fear your child's father, then there is a very likely reason to believe he can not be trusted with an infant.
My ex became very paranoid when he was first out of rehab. He was/is a crack addict. I would not allow him near the kids and he wasn't interested in them anyway. Call a lawyer or a domestic violence hotline. They can point you in the right direction. My ex is also bi polar and a host of other things. When it comes to children, Overreact and do not think about how it will make the A feel. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING worse than losing a child wether by accident or intentional. Once it's done, it's done. Protect your child to the exclusion of everything else.
I would recommend speaking with an atty and a dr about what needs to be worked out legally for your child. Directly speaking your child has rights and you have responsibilities; if you place your child in his custody knowing that he will or may drink, the courts will hold you responsible for any tragedies that could result. By consulting an atty now and getting the proper authorities involved, they will attend to anything that could happen god forbid. This will also protect you should he try to say that you have been an unfit mother for whatever reason. I would also recommend that you make sure that you make out a last will and testament, god forbid something happen to you. This will show the courts that you have done everything that you need to do to take care of the child from your end, god forbid. The will details financially how your child will be taken care of, who will care for your child, and what your child will need. It would also detail how your child will be attended to since your child's father is not necessarily sober or mentally well. It is a big undertaking, but it is for your baby. I would not take chances if I were you.
All excellent advice above. Please talk to any trusted professional you can. You can even call your own physician to seek advice from them.
If your baby is in danger, you can keep the baby from its father. Please don't let anyone tell you different. Yes, you may anger the A, but if he reacts inappropriately, that's what the police are there for, to protect you.
The most important thing right now is you and your baby's safety. There are many, many agencies for women and children and domestic abuse if you don't feel safe. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
I will be praying for you both. yours in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
