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Sometimes I get irritated because I feel like I can't get my groove on around the AH. He is not in recovery, and I feel like I have to set some sort of example. well, I set a poor example at a freind's party last night, and as drunk as I was, he was drunker. He embarassed the heck out of me, infront of freind's and strangers. Ughh. never ever again. If I ever go out with him again, I will just have stay sober and keep the night short.
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
Ooooops Rainy, not the way to go...though I am not here to judge you. Hope you were not thinking " If y'can't bet 'em join 'em!" LOL
Seriously Rainy, I feel your irritation, your discontent, your frustration. You are not in a good place at the moment, are you? IT WILL GET BETTER as long as you work the programme.
Keep on confiding in your family here and we will keep on trying to help you find a better place to be inside of your head. And I will keep on praying that you will find peace of mind to work this through.
(((((((hugs)))))))))) HeartB
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
It's no fun playing in the traffic, is it? It's sad when we realize that we social drinkers (as some of us are) can't go out and just have a good time. But I quickly realized that it wasn't any fun at all for me to drink around my A. It felt bad to ME. Everyone is different - and I'm definitely not judging. I just came to realize that if I wanted to drink socially - it had to be when I wasn't around my A.
you are right, i had a horrible time. that was the second time i had ever gone out and drank with him. Shame on me!! We used to go out sober and it was way more fun. Anyway, I've made my decision. If I have to go get my groove on, he's not coming. It's weird, I have no desire to drink at all and am disgusted with the smell of beer. He agreed and we talked a little, he said he didn't want to drink anymore. Then he came in with some beer in a coffee cup and offered it to me! GROSS! He actually went to the store and bought beer but not juice. Oh it's so wrong.
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
That was a hard one for me too Jamie. I enjoy a social drink now and then, but I've come to know that when I'm around the A that's just not a good idea.
It just doesn't seem right, I feel sort of like a hypocrite. Better not to drink I think.
Love and Blessings,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
That's a hard one for a lot of people. I haven't gone out to a drinking place with my AH in years though. It was just no fun, anymore. I do like to have awine cooler in the evening sometimes, but right now I have a box of wine sitting on the porch that I can'tt even remember how much is in it or when the last time I had some was. He is actually an Addict, not alcoholic. He doesn't drink anymore either though as it could jeopardize his sobriety from drugs. I fully believe though that if he continued to drink he would become alcoholic too, even if he could stay off drugs (which he wouldn't). It's just all the same thing. Would just be switching drugs as they say.
Anyway, I will have a glass of wine at my moms on a holiday. I just don't drink that much anyway. My one thought though about the entire issue is that I am pulled one way by the issue of our house being a safe haven for us all. We can control what goes on here, and drugs are not allowed, period. But I am pulled the other way by the idea that there is nothing I can do to make him use again. So it is a bit of a delema, but I'm guessing I will end up erring on the side of safety. Drinking just isn't that important to me.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I went 7-8 years without drinking a drop- just because I respected his recovery. When he started drinking casually (with some of his freinds) I thought maybe it was OK and I drank a little too. But it got out of control (from my point of view) so soon. He would drink wine (we were just casul wine drinkers) In his bathrobe on Saturday morning infront of TV! I tried to explain what was wrong with that...but I digress. I've made some friend who like to go out and drnk maybe on the weekends. I've only been in bars a small handful of times, and it can be kinda fun. I truly regret Saturday night with the AH, but we were both invited. Next time I will just have to pass. Life is more important anyway.
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
