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release the anger!
(Preview)
I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. --William Blake We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a b...
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Tiger2006
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4
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463
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Feelings
(Preview)
From childhood I grew up in a house where I was taught not show feelings (only happy ones). Anyway, when my mother passed away and I started to cry she said "Don't cry" and I just stuffed the feelings. I realized I never really grieved my mother's death, just went about business. ...
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Alyce
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4
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412
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Progressive disease reminder
(Preview)
I am feeling really down right now, today my ex-A who had been living with me for the last two months but left last sunday, progressed to a new level for him, drinking during the day in order to play darts properly. I know I should not be surprised or disappointed that drinking comes before his family and o...
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maire rua
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7
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476
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When sobriety happens...............
(Preview)
I started thinking about this. I have waited eight years for my ah to change his way and to become sober...........and then once sober to not become a dry drunk.......well he's done both. So now he's sober (again) and I got to thinking, if this is for real......how will I ever know? Will I keep l...
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Friendofyours
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12
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604
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No longer reaching out
(Preview)
I have 1 sibling - a brother who has been in recovery a short time. I have recently learned to "let go", and am still working on it. For me, letting go means no longer having any expectations, and no longer reaching out. I have always been the one to initiate contact with him, except when he w...
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virjennyan
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2
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347
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intervention?
(Preview)
Has anyone had any experiences with interventions? I was told it may be helpful with my ex husband who is an alcoholic. I would like to hear some input on them because I know they don't always work. thanks.
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lam0204
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8
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639
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He finally "Re-Admitting" to being an "A"
(Preview)
I am pleased that my A has finally admitted, again, that he is in fact an A. I wish i could add that he is going to meetings, but hasn't since Sat. I am hopeful that he is on the right track though. We had an issue with Bryon the other day and I did an unexpected trip to Portland. He is ok now, but really sc...
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smpoli
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3
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524
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troublesome sister
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm hoping you will tell me what you think of this situation. I'm not sure what to do. Three weeks ago I was visiting my sister and she sat me down saying she wanted to talk to me. I was uneasy. I hate being put under pressure. I knew what she was going to say. Years ago my younger sister (...
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annmarie
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6
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471
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Anguish
(Preview)
Hello... I'm new to all of this. I've never ever heard about Alanon until today, and I immedeatley rushed online to find something...anything... to help myself. I am so desperate, and so brutally alone. My boyfriend of four, (almost five!) years has been knocking back a bottle of vodka a d...
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JMW
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15
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489
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Still getting banned
(Preview)
I am still getting banned. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! There is no way to get the message to the op on duty because when I try to type a message in, it says "not on channel." It goes on & on about spam, abuse & my ISP Thumpernet being banned!!! I did try the website to figure it out, but I...
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horselover58
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4
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470
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Codependency
(Preview)
I was reading a bit about codepenency on http://www.recovery-man.com/coda/codependency.htm I'm was a bit confused by this term. Did it imply that if you live with what you believe to be an alcoholic and you display co-dependent traits that you may just be imagining or exaggerating the fact...
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mama_nz
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2
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298
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just feeling sorry for myself.....again
(Preview)
Hey family. It seems like i've been doing a lot of feeling sorry for myself lately. i hate that. i hate being sad and depressed, and sometimes i hate my husband for making me feel this way. then i remember, that i'm letting him make me feel this way. and that makes me so angry at myself. why do i let him do this...
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minnie
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10
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503
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This is not my beautiful wife
(Preview)
OK this came up before, but last night was the first time I really spoke up about it. The A takes pain medication, quite a long history of it. The doctor switched to Methadone. The A doesn't take that so much. The A has been stockpiling the leftovers, has a significant ammount. Occaisionally talks...
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RainyJamie
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5
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2731
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feelin worn
(Preview)
I am just gonna ramble because my mind is foggy.....days,nights,events,arguments,conflicts, LACK OF UNDERSTANDING....life with my live in A bf has gotten to a really confusing place. He is sober, going to meetings and therapy and trying to handle his underlying problems as a sober adult for the f...
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Fifi
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4
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269
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cryin and tired in am
(Preview)
I had a nice afternoon with my Asober bf....my family had been visiting and he was on his best behavior. But all morning wasmisery...me crying, him criticizing but saying he wasn't....saying my reaction to what he says is my responsibility and I always misjudge his words...sounds too much to me like...
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Fifi
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7
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377
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March Business Meeting
(Preview)
Hi all - Just a reminder that our business meeting wll be Sun - March 4 at 9pm ET
See you there - Dot
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dot
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1
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303
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I said it MEAN!!!!
(Preview)
Yesterday I had sort of a relapse. Do you think it has anything to do with missing my weekly meetings for the last month or so? lol....of course it does! I had a confrontation with A son. He visits his children at my house when I have them. He is not allowed to drive them anywhere or be alone with him. my, now e...
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Gailey
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7
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439
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Moving on without guilt
(Preview)
I have been separated from my ex (A) for a year now. I recently met someone who seems genuinely good, and I like him. Well okay we met online so I know I have to be wary. Decided to meet up with him today and I suggested we meet at the park down by where I live, it has a big lake where you can feed the ducks, lots...
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mama_nz
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2
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388
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Moving on without guilt
(Preview)
Oops I don't know how I managed to post this twice, must have hit refresh button. Sorry. -- Edited by mama_nz at 21:33, 2007-03-03
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mama_nz
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0
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239
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Where did he go?
(Preview)
Hi all, I am new here, so let me introduce myself. I am a 30-year old woman, married to an off and on alcoholic for nearly 4 years. I say off and on due to his episodes; it's never a continuous thing. He can go for an entire year without drinking and then just pick up a bottle and end his sobriety. We do not h...
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theprofessor
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8
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583
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detaching progress not perfection
(Preview)
These past two weeks I have had a hard time detaching from the A. As you know I am in the middle of yet another job search. I have a job, albeit very rudimentary and 2 days off in the week to look for work. As normal the A does no housework to speak of. He can't lift a cup, sweep a floor, pick up nothing. So...
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maresie2
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3
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352
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I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!..........tonight
(Preview)
some nights I just can not see how I can stay with him for the rest of my life!!!!!!! Living like this. OK, I will say I don't get this miserable very often at all any more but when I am in physcal pain and after working my patootie off pick-axing, shoveling, pick -axing some more for 5 hours in the freezi...
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puzzle
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7
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571
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Developing Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C
(Preview)
Well, I survived a trip with my AHsober to see our son in the military. My AHsober was so careful to avoid any close contact with me. I just love the way he lectures our son - do what I say and not what I do. I told him that I see that we have 4 meetings - he presents his side, I present my side, we share together, an...
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nmike
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5
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485
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What to do......
(Preview)
I have been making myself sick over this one. My A has been drinking almost daily for months. It has been horrible around here......I am the only one working right now, full time, overnight stocking for Wal-mart. I don't have my own car right now, so I am using his to get to work and back. He does some...
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jajanma
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12
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583
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his humbling
(Preview)
My exA called me last night. I haven't spoken to him in weeks, even then it was short and curt. Anyway he was sober last night, says he's been sober for a few weeks now and is realising his mistakes, his losses. He says he's going to occasional meetings. He doesn't like meetings, but is t...
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annmarie
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4
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323
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Asking your body and mind...what actions or activities would make you feel better this week, month, year?
(Preview)
Sometimes just writing things down instead of just thinking them, gets us motivated to get on with life with things that are important for our health and minds. Those of us who live or have lived with active alcoholism become stagnant in life, and feel nothing is worth the effort Sometimes even gettin...
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gardengal
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5
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423
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7 P's
(Preview)
This morning our topic was :let it Begin with me" and "Keep it Simple" Someone suggested I post something in my share the 7 P's Pain (sharing) Prayer (HP I choice to call God) Program (Alanon) Perspective (food for thought from others) Progress (where i was and where i am tod...
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angel123
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4
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427
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Responsibility
(Preview)
I realize when looking back that I took no responsibility for my life, my credit, my happiness, or anything related to me for that matter. I made and still continue to make choices passively, but I am learning. I am struggling with something lately. Both my spouses and my credit was ruined due to l...
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Alyce
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6
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638
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Am I a contoller or enabler, both or neither?
(Preview)
Okay, a long time ago I learned what an enabler is and how I've been one in my marriage to my A. So I have learned how to keep out of the way of his drinking ( not ALL the time) and let him deal with it his own self. But I'm thinking that maybe enabling and controlling are related. A few time...
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jaja
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8
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539
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OK, a new attempt
(Preview)
I only post to complain about the A and sometimes when I don't have anything to complain about I remember something from way back and bring it up. This is not good, I know that. Probably stems from some sort of codependant something or another, and I want to refresh a little. I want to say that my AH has...
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RainyJamie
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8
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491
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it's all sooooo tiring
(Preview)
Ok my storey so far , hubby in aa but not working any programme, thinks putting the drink down is suffice, now replacing drinking with working 24/7 and woe betide anyone that questions his motives, how dare we, so he's decided to work himself to a frazzle, so now we have a highly stressed human bein...
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Katy
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5
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568
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The a's secret plans hit and run and escape responsibility.
(Preview)
One of the A's favorite retorts is that he is going to up and leave. I never really took it seriously. Turns out in some of his little excursions that last 3 days or so like when he runs out and leaves and doesn't come back for days he has been going to see family who live like 2 hours away from here. ...
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maresie2
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6
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500
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Living Life for me
(Preview)
hey family i haven't posted in a while. im up the walls busy with work and play ..lol.. im very proud of myself.... i just realised that in the last number of weeks. there was a time when all i cud think about was my "A" and HIS life... HIS choices... and MY pain... they HE caused.. or that I...
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Rebecca
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5
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481
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The birthday party
(Preview)
Twenty years ago I met my very good friend. The first time she and her husband came to my house for dinner, they raided my liquor cabinet and got drunk. The second time they came to my house, they brought their own alcohol and got drunk. The third time they came to my house I set my boundaries. I told the...
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ditto
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3
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329
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Anyone going to the NJ Assembly meeting Sat?
(Preview)
I'm hoping to make it. Still up in the air but hoping to. Drop me a line. Would be great to put a face w/ the name or say hi to those I've met ! Bob
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bobump
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1
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327
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Ladies and Gentleman, for my final act, my disappering mind...
(Preview)
I do believe I've lost it for good now. I mean, for good for good. See the puff of smoke? That was my sanity. Wave bye bye! Some of you know, or remember, or something like that, that I petitioned the university based on a psych eval that it turned up I had ADD (Is anyone surprised at my lack of attentio...
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Tiger2006
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10
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462
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Cloud and the baby
(Preview)
For those of you who remember Cloud, she's due to have the baby anyday now. Having some "typical" pre-birth symptoms. Looking for some prayers. I'll keep you posted when she delivers. Maria
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Maria123
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5
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395
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Steps - How do I know?
(Preview)
I am on my first step now, how do I know if I can moove on to step 2?
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IceLady
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6
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419
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"So waddya gonna do about it?"
(Preview)
"So waddya gonna do about it?" That was the quote that stood out to me from my post yesterday. No matter how many positive things were said, I zoom in on the one negative thing. Like any "good little ACA," I take on the attitude of Bob the Builder, "Can I fix it? Yes I can!&quo...
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Tiger2006
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8
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940
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Service Here in Mip
(Preview)
Thought i would share here also my service experience in alanon face to face and here at Mip. When i entered alanon in person in 1999, I jumped into service right away after a few weeks. I started with getting there early setting up the tables and making coffee, then greeted the newcomers, then i eventua...
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kerry5
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4
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496
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prayers please
(Preview)
It's been a long time since I've been here, and things still aren't any better with my brother. Still lots of ups and downs. But now my husband has left me and I am hurting so bad. He said he needs some time to think and be alone. Please pray for us to recover from this and to be together again. I d...
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Jayda
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8
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362
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need to get husband out, advice please!
(Preview)
My husband is my alcoholic. He is very sick. He is sober for a few weeks sometimes, then he starts drinking again ( about 120 ounces in 3 days) & then he is violently ill, vomiting, ketoacidosis( diabetic) and heart problems. I get him into the hospital and he is usually good for a couple of weeks...
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carol
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13
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579
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Why wont the hope go away?
(Preview)
Ok so my mil tells me yesterday AH has a new job and needs this and that and I tell her he can kiss my @$$ . But she sends me these emails that he's been sending her and he sounds so not him, resigned I guess would be the right word. Still talking about how much he loves me etc. The new job is $20 an hr (dam...
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carolinagirl
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7
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544
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Living my life for me
(Preview)
(((MIP Group))) Living my life for me has not been easy. In the last couple of weeks I've given some real thought about my life, the present circumstances, and what I want my future to look like. I know what I don't want. I don't want to be managing another person's emotions when I...
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twinmom2
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6
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579
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question
(Preview)
Here's a hypothetical scenario: A husband and wife are at a dinner/drinking party at a bar with a room full of friends. The husband and wife are both drunk. The husband ends up slow dancing and making out with another woman (who knows the man is married, knows the wife, has also been drinking) in fr...
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Lanchas
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4
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299
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Carrying the alcoholics load????
(Preview)
I had to share this story with you because I found it inspiriering (sp) Please take the time to read this : According to an old legend, two monks named Tanzan and Ekido were traveling together down a muddly road one day. Heavy monsoon rains had saturated the area, and they were gratful for a few moments of...
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Friendofyours
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2
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353
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Boundaries and marriage.....help, sinking....
(Preview)
I have been working steps and living the principles of the program for many yrs to the best of my ability. I chose to stay with my active husband and had carved out a life for myself where I could be happy no matter what he was doing. I finished a degree, raised two kids, got several promotions, was involved...
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fineline
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10
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501
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aquarium
(Preview)
As I start a new project setting up an aquarium…My thoughts started to “THINK,” how my life and program has a way to relate to Alanon. Always apply the program in my goals and achievements. I have a 30 gal tank…I had more than 30 gallons to take to Alanon tables when I first entered. Placing the 25 lbs of roc...
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angel123
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1
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276
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great message
(Preview)
I got this off of the AA board and thought I'd share it: God, Grant me the Serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. Many folks do not understand the meanings of the Serenity Prayer, and of consequence are left in a limbo of con...
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Lanchas
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1
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374
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Checking in . update
(Preview)
Hello ((All)) I'm starting to see a little bit again. At least today I know I am on the right website I saw the doctor yesterday and my vision was 20/200 not a good number but a vast improvement over last week. It is extremely frustrating that the cause of these episodes has not been found yet...
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Jennifer
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3
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407
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Confused
(Preview)
I am so glad to have found this site. I moved out of state a few months ago to a more affordable place, thinking it would be a better and easier life for my husband, myself and kids. My kids are 16 and 20 (not really kids). Anyway, they are miserable here and are blaming us for ruining their lives. They w...
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Alyce
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4
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272
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how can I handle criticism better?
(Preview)
Hi everyone, For years I have strived to be independant, to certainly never to be dependant on a man. I learned this in my early childhood, having come from an Afamily, my father being the A. This was/ is my coping mechanism. I now see that I have deprived myself of so much through living this way. I am be...
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annmarie
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7
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1602
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enabling a sober alcoholic
(Preview)
I just want to say that I have no idea why I'm posting this right now, it will only tarnish my reputation, but here goes. None of you really know my story, but I can give you bits and pieces of it as I see it. I am an alcoholic and yes I have 8 years sober. That being said my husband will drink every so often...
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Moon
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10
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561
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Cloud and the baby
(Preview)
For those of you who remember Cloud, she's due to have the baby anyday now. Having some "typical" pre-birth symptoms. Looking for some prayers. I'll keep you posted when she delivers. Maria
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Maria123
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1
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290
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Suggestions on drugs for "pain management"??
(Preview)
(((Hello all from cold Colorado))) Haven't posted in a while, but was wondering if anyone could offer their opinion and/or knowledge on taking drugs for pain management. TO give you some background: My mother has been a heavy partier throughout her life, beginning probably when us kids were ea...
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hersh
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9
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609
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Apology
(Preview)
I want to apologize to the group for starting the "teenager" thread. It's really off topic and violates Alanon guidelines by getting into outside philosophy, and I didn't intend to create controversy with it. Yesterday I was going to delete all of my posts to the thread, but ap...
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barisax
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7
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397
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N. Illinois Spring Conference March 30- April 1
(Preview)
Hi, I made a post on the AA board, if anyone interested in NIA Spring Conference, AA, Alanon, Alateen in Moline, IL (near Moline airport) Email www.niafg.org for Alanon/alateen contacts. For some reason, the registration form is not available online as mentioned. or email TerryIL61301@yah...
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wallsal55
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0
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241
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New to this, and could use some support
(Preview)
I've spent many hours searching on the internet about alcoholics, and what is an alcoholic, and what I can do to help an alcoholoc. My husband, I think is one, and I've been having a pretty rough time lately. I decided that maybe I needed to think about myself for once, and that's when I fo...
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Kasey
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10
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365
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I AM Powerless!!!!!
(Preview)
Dear Friends, As you know, my beloved grandaughter I have raised since a baby left home Dec. 10th. She was not "nice" about it and it broke my heart. But, I still continued to leave the door open to keep communication open. I also have the 14 yr old grandaughter here too. The oldest turned 1...
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irish54
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4
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438
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Have not been around in a while
(Preview)
Hey guys!! I have not been around in a while!! Things WERE going pretty well there for awhile!! Of course NOW....OMG!! I dont know what to do where to go who to turn to....I guess I need opinions!! See my Hubby lost his job after coming clean about his drug use and had a HORRIBLE time finding a new job.....
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Klynn
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4
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441
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