Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sim1kag · sim1kag

Hello to all, I am new to the online group and to Al-Anon and making the baby steps to recovery, soon to find a group to go to that is not online, however reading through the topics and such I don't understand alot of the abbreviations....I don't mean to sound stupid.

.sorry but is there a pag...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i keep seeing people post about having a sponsor. what is the purpose? i feel like if i had a sponsor i would just drag them down with me. i guess i just don't understand it.

QOD · QOD

I have tried several times to get into the chat room this week. It has been a while since I have been in there. It won't let me in....says I'm not connected or something. Any suggestions? QOD

emma · emma

I'm going through a rough patch -- too many big stressors at one time. Adversely affecting sleep. I'm trying to figure out, well, I guess I'm trying to figure my way out. No way out but through most of the stuff -- the main debilitating issue for me deals with the ex and the kids. He knows this is his last w...

kspear · kspear

Good morning, everyone! I'm looking forward to some gorgeous weather out in the Central NY area today (high of 75 - yippee!) I was wondering if anyone knew of a site or place where I could find out more about working the 12 Steps from the Al-Anon perspective. It's my understanding the st...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Instead of a gratitude list, the idea of a Positive List, seems to be working better for me. Listing all the letters of the alphabet A- Z, I put down a word for each letter that brings a smile to my face! And I do not have to work the list in order ! Anyway, wh...

flintfeet · flintfeet

how do you handle having a few drinks with dinner/night out? my dad is an A (his parents/grandparents...were also). i have a fear that my brother is following in his footsteps. he leads a normal productive life (goes to school/work/has a relationship). but a long time ago, so did my father. maybe it...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

I'm so glad I found this place. It helps me so much to understand detachment. I've spent 11 years carrying the weight of all of this on my little shoulders and wondering why I've become so sick. I see that it is a process now and not something that is going to turn around or happen imm...

Jeannie · Jeannie

I was replying to another topic and I found myself thinking and my ideas wandering. I got so sad, and then thinking about it made so much sense. I can detach from my husbands drinking, the problem is the behavior that goes with it. I started thinking about my parents. My Mom and dad have been married f...

rrayrray · rrayrray

this is my first time on. my ex of 4 hrs has gone into rehab again. what can i say? i need any words of wisdom you can give me. i have a 7 yr old daughter hurting terribly. i am trying to stay detached, but her pain pulls me in. thanks ::

Cyn · Cyn

Hello all Hope you are doing well - things are going great here in NJ. My job is going fanstastic and I am finishing up my other job in 20 days (FINALLY). I had some huge accomplishments this last month - 1 being a swimmer from my team making the YMCA National Championships (first time in 10...

angel123 · angel123

P practicing program every day R Recalling rules along the way I into better times ahead N never feeling the old dread C correcting habits that are bad P preparing now to live each minute L loving,caring others in it E ending daily with a prayer S saying God I'm glad I'm here Look no...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys has anyone heard from cyn at all...??? i havent seen her name in here in ages and i havent gotten an e-mail from here in over a month.... was getting kinda worried... i hope shes just too busy with work or sumthing...hope its got nothing to do with the ex, he cud have made contact. hope ye ar...

SerenityGirl · SerenityGirl

I'm so frustrated. My a boyfriend is home today. I called the neighbor to find out if he was home since he wasn't answering his phone and I was getting worried. She said she heard him walking around upstairs. She called me later to tell me the other neighbors saw him HIDING all day s...

Gailey · Gailey

Tonight I will be attending a women's spritual retreat in Gettysburg, PA. It is for the whole weekend. It is titled "A Well Tended Soul". Valerie Bell is the author and the speaker for this retreat. I am very excited. The weather is beautiful and although things are not going that good right now...I am s...

Powerless · Powerless

I spoke with my husband and the other woman this morning separately and they both told me the same thing. They met at a truck stop (she is also a truck driver) and exchanged numbers. She doesn't live in out state and haven't seen each other since they met, but talk for several hours each day w...

SerenityGirl · SerenityGirl

Does anyone know how I can get connected to the chat room? My computer crashed last week and I've no been able to get in since then. This is what comes up. Any suggestion? Connecting...unable to connect: com.ms.security.SecurityExceptionEx: cannot connect to "irc mipcha...

Powerless · Powerless

I woke up this morning and checked my husband's cell phone. I was being nosy. I found a bunch of texts from another woman. I called the number and spoke with the woman. We have the same name, imagine that. He met her at a truck stop on his way through Georgia. They h...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i have not posted in a while. the truth is that i have not had time to sit down, think about what is wrong, and get upset about it. i have kept busy. but i had a free moment yesturday and thought about my dad. i just found out that my dad went out of town. we still are not speaking, so i found out from my brother t...

robyn76 · robyn76

Hi all, So, 2 months ago I discovered that my husband was addicted to cocaine. After 8 weeks of more emotions than this one girl can endure I am looking for anyone who can help me make sense of this hell. We have been married for almost 9 years and have 2 beautiful daughters, wonderful fami...

Juster · Juster

The post yesterday by rtexas got me thinking about how music can be used to help with detachment. Long before I ever heard of detachment, when my AW was giving me fits, I would, and do, run part of the old Simon and Garfunkle song through my mind. I am a rock I am an island and a rock feels no pain...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

Well he has had his moments, but after he was proved wrong about money issues, he was very civil last night. Things are dividing nicely with no hassles so far as small household items. So just have to be around him at noon and this evening and we are on our way. Kids are excited a...

Picowitch · Picowitch

Hi there, haven't been around for a bit had lots going on with trying to reconcile with hubby. I really need a sponsore to help me at the moment as I'm well and truly stuck - local f2f meetings have proved to be not very much help to me, and with very few members, I've been unable to find a f2f sponsor...

rtexas · rtexas

.... I wonder if that applies to kids at heart (... me ...) So I set up an apointment with a mariage councelor for next week. I told my wife about it and she didn't say much except that she's been saying that forever.... the phrase I heard was '... if you drag me to a councelor, I will rip you a new one i...

Ria · Ria

Hi, I've just re-read several posts as I realised they had 'stirred up some old stuff' for me. It's about separation/divorce/babies. I don't know if it is appropriate to use this forum for this purpose or whether I should've journalled it. I haven't got a sponsor at the moment as she left the pro...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana (Hello Family) Life has been great, with a few little mole hills here and there nothing much that Higher Power would even break into a sweat about and then the problem is me right? So last night I decide to use the paper shredder and its jambed up with paper and not only not working but...

marmare · marmare

For two days my A has been baiting me. Wanting to fight, argue, he is just being right out rude to me and the kids. He went out Saturday night didn't come home, then Sunday around 11am he answered my call only to hang up on me and turn his phone off. I didn't react! Now for the last t...

peewee · peewee

Courage to Change, Mar 29 "It's time I started being nicer to myself. The voices in my head that tell me I'm not good enough do not speak the truth..." I have some loud voices in my head today telling me I am not good Enough. One voice in particular is an echo of what I heard yesterda...

Diva · Diva

Now that I have posted 500 times, I have become a "service worker?" I don't think so. I prefer to think of myself as a voice of reason and a giver of good advice. I'll leave the "service working" to others who are more qualified in that field. Love to all, Diva

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

I went by my husband's house last night to pick up my Check Visa that was mailed there. This was the first time I have seen him or even spoke to him since I left 3 1/2 weeks ago. I was able to hold myself together. I went into the house, picked up my mail and didn't try to engage in any conver...

Gailey · Gailey

I really need to start setting up boundaries. My DIL and son are separated. My son is the A. I am trying very hard to support her in this time that is so very hard for her. There are also 2 beautiful children involved. I am trying to work my program to the best of my ability at this time. I am trying not to lectur...

angel123 · angel123

When my first sponcer was alive,she gave me homework,I do it now with those I sponcer.One thing that really helped me was writing.I have saved alot of the things I wrote as we discused things.I found "let go let God"Thought I would share.... Letting go doesn't mean releasing my grip on life and fal...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi All, I have heard over and over that what we don't like in about someone else can be a trait we may ourselves have that bothers us. Well, my "A" has had some really poor choices of friends. What bothers me so much, is that they are takers, and he is their giver. And it pisses me off when he is doing that....

debilyn · debilyn

That cheating and/or abuse are NOT a symptom of being A. Not all A's abuse and or cheat. Is it in alanon or AA lit. that they are symptoms? I do not buy it, not one bit. BUT I would LOVE to hear the other side and literature that talks about it. love,debilyn

angel123 · angel123

Twelve Rewards To the Twelve Steps 1.HOPE instead of desperation. 2. FAITH instead of despair. 3. COURAGE instead of fear. 4. PEACE OF MIND instead of confusion. 5. SELF -RESPECT instead of contempt. 6. SELF CONFIDENCE instead of helplessness. 7. RESPECT OF OTHERS instead of pity a...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

Oh man - it just gets worse. Of course, trying to have the courage of my convictions, I was conned back in last night. He said he's not going to go on the system looking for women anymore and proceeds to tell me all about the women that he's spoken with and how they finally admit that they are ov...

jonibaloni21 · jonibaloni21

Hi all, My computer guru neighbor came over and got my computer back up for now!!!! He's really good with em! But I'm gonna start a savings for a new one anyway! This silly thing has gone down many times before and I don't trust it! So thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers! Am almost afraid to use it for...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

Just a quick recap: We were supposed to have broken up. We live in the same duplex we own (separate sides). He has continued to request my presence and 'other things', nightly, once he is drunk. I have acquiesced. I already caught him in the act with a woman 2 weeks ago.&nbs...

Powerless · Powerless

Thanks to my pink toenails and fingernails I got through today with my focus where it needed to be. The pink reminded me of my program. My husband woke up this morning and was very ill tempered. He was angry that he quit his job and blamed me. He said I made him quit. I want...

Cinnamonwdh · Cinnamonwdh

Hi there, my husband’s father is a self-admitted alcoholic and I am not sure what I can do to help him, or to help my husband for that matter and I am looking for some advice. What’s happened is the father had gone into detox about a year ago and was doing alright – he was still drinking about 3 bee...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

My husband came home last night and we had a very civil conversation. He said he would still like me to stay. ( With a beer in his hand) How romantic? It went well, still using same lawyer, divided some property. He still upset over bills, he doesn't talk to me about them, he jus...

txmom · txmom

I read this little blurb in the newspaper today (of all places to find hope lol) and thought it was worth sharing: "After the darkness comes the light. It is a law. And thus, as night comes, the moon rises. At dawn, daylight returns. In the evening, the sky explodes. Each brightness offers hope un...

nycbt · nycbt

Next weekend I am going away with some program friends. My husband and I are getting along great so now I am having a hard time getting myself to go. I have all ready paid my money. I know that I am going to have a wonderful time once get past this unknown stuff going through my head. Once I am in the car I will...

rtexas · rtexas

I played a Guns-n-Roses cd so loud on my way to work that when I stopped at red lights people were staring at me. I feel totally relaxed...

kspear · kspear

Good afternoon, all. I was sitting here thinking about when I go home later. (Work is such a refuge for me!) I'd really like to hear about some of the tools that we can use on a minute by minute basis when our A is acting out. Just to get through the moment. My main thing right now is again with my son. He st...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I got a very polite email from my A today asking if the kids had anything tonight or if we could talk. I thought he meant continue dicussioins on division of property. I replied that would be fine. He comes home at lunch and says "'we can work this out". I said very calmly, like w...

Gailey · Gailey

The A is my son. I can have compassion for my child. I understand the disease alot more now that I have been reading all of your posts for several months. My father was an A. I never had any compassion for him until I knew more about the disease. There are alot of "isms" in my family. I can have compassion beca...

maresie · maresie

I am really working to change my attitude from poor me to taking care of me after doing some work in this room and listening to shares. I know my attitude can pervade everything. I am trying to be open and wiling in my job search (which is hard because I have had a number of set backs).&n...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

ABANDONMENT Because of the chronic distress in an alcoholic family, every person in that family attempts to adapt to the chronic stress. Each becomes hypervigilant, anxious and chronically afraid. In such an environment, it is impossible for anyone to get...

Powerless · Powerless

He came home from work today and told me that we needed to talk. He informed me that he sold the cb radio and tv/dvd player (the third one) and bought coke today. He relapsed in a big way. By the time he told me he had already secured a bed for tomorrow night at a detox and then a rehab cente...

holly123 · holly123

Hi All, I just read a couple posts and all of a sudden I don't get it. I know that we are supposed to focus on us and supposedly this will take the focus off the a, but no matter how hard I focus on me it seems like the anger, resentments and so on are still there. I still like with my...

hudsond · hudsond

I know my HP knows best. Sometimes stuff can get pretty tough though and I think he thinks I can handle more than I can. I handle because I have no choice! What's this about you ask? My best friend thinks she is pregnant. She isn't sure if she is ready for that and is very scared...

jonibaloni21 · jonibaloni21

Hey Y'all, My stupid computer's hard drive died and so I won't be able to get on the board or the room for quite a while since I'm on disability and will have to save up for another hard drive or a computer. I will be able to come in sometimes while at the library , but will depend on how many are using them. Th...

hudsond · hudsond

Yesterday he took one more step down the ladder! He has been off of alcohol since September, last week he asked me if I thought he had a swig of whiskey that would help him shake off the craving for the drug he can't give up. I told him he ought to think about that and I didn't think it would work....

d53sjurne · d53sjurne

Maybe it would be a good idea to dicuss what FISH NITE is so those of us that don't know won't be in the dark . And I've seen someone curious about what a trout is ! So tell what you know for all to see.

Thanks

maresie · maresie

Last year before I got here was pretty much an annus horriblis for me. I sat in a stew of resentment all year with the A. I had many many many screamathons with him and none of them got me anywhere. It was all extremely ugly and nasty and frightening and it escalated and escalated and I felt com...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Someting is happening to me and I don't know why or even what it is ... HELP LOL. It is not a bad thing just so different that I am wondering just who I am. I'll explain ... Last Friday morning my AH came home in the morning after work handed me his check, normal enough (thanks HP) .. usual...

Christy · Christy

Whew!! It's good to be home. We had a very nice time in Mi with A's family. My Mother in law's funeral was lovely, as far as funerals go. There was over 300 people. I guess when you are 86, volunteer everywhere, hospital, homeless shelter, belong to the Sportsmans Archery Club and was a 2cnd Mom (me includ...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

In the last two weeks with my "a" being home we have spent more time together than we used to. I am more intuned to his lack of intimacy with me and the children. It frustrates me and I have been asking him what are you thinking? or would you talk to me? I have heard that alcohol and mariju...

kspear · kspear

Thanks to everyone who has so generously given input on some of my questions. Especially about detaching. My 18 YO son is the A that is causing me the most difficulty at present. But I know that in truth, I'm the one really causing most of my difficulty. Now, what to do about it...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Abbreviation explanations (Preview) Hello to all, I am new to the online group and to Al-Anon and making the baby steps to recovery, soon to find a group to go to that is not online, however reading through the topics and such I don't understand alot of the abbreviations....I don't mean to sound stupid..sorry but is there a pag...	sim1kag	5	2121	Apr 1, 2006 by nycbt
	what sponsor?? (Preview) i keep seeing people post about having a sponsor. what is the purpose? i feel like if i had a sponsor i would just drag them down with me. i guess i just don't understand it.	flintfeet	4	344	Apr 1, 2006 by nycbt
	Can't get into chatroom (Preview) I have tried several times to get into the chat room this week. It has been a while since I have been in there. It won't let me in....says I'm not connected or something. Any suggestions? QOD	QOD	5	295	Apr 1, 2006 by buzzfree
	recovery and bumps along the road (Preview) I'm going through a rough patch -- too many big stressors at one time. Adversely affecting sleep. I'm trying to figure out, well, I guess I'm trying to figure my way out. No way out but through most of the stuff -- the main debilitating issue for me deals with the ex and the kids. He knows this is his last w...	emma	2	292	Apr 1, 2006 by emma
	Step Information/Other questions (Preview) Good morning, everyone! I'm looking forward to some gorgeous weather out in the Central NY area today (high of 75 - yippee!) I was wondering if anyone knew of a site or place where I could find out more about working the 12 Steps from the Al-Anon perspective. It's my understanding the st...	kspear	4	663	Apr 1, 2006 by Ria
	Positive List (Preview) Instead of a gratitude list, the idea of a Positive List, seems to be working better for me. Listing all the letters of the alphabet A- Z, I put down a word for each letter that brings a smile to my face! And I do not have to work the list in order ! Anyway, wh...	wallsal55	2	283	Mar 31, 2006 by Jeannie
	how to handle it? (Preview) how do you handle having a few drinks with dinner/night out? my dad is an A (his parents/grandparents...were also). i have a fear that my brother is following in his footsteps. he leads a normal productive life (goes to school/work/has a relationship). but a long time ago, so did my father. maybe it...	flintfeet	5	331	Mar 31, 2006 by mebjk
	So I Give In and Back to Square 1 ... (Preview) I'm so glad I found this place. It helps me so much to understand detachment. I've spent 11 years carrying the weight of all of this on my little shoulders and wondering why I've become so sick. I see that it is a process now and not something that is going to turn around or happen imm...	HadEnuff	2	351	Mar 31, 2006 by mebjk
	Just thinking (Preview) I was replying to another topic and I found myself thinking and my ideas wandering. I got so sad, and then thinking about it made so much sense. I can detach from my husbands drinking, the problem is the behavior that goes with it. I started thinking about my parents. My Mom and dad have been married f...	Jeannie	9	369	Mar 31, 2006 by cdb
	REHAB 2ND TIME AROUND (Preview) this is my first time on. my ex of 4 hrs has gone into rehab again. what can i say? i need any words of wisdom you can give me. i have a 7 yr old daughter hurting terribly. i am trying to stay detached, but her pain pulls me in. thanks ::	rrayrray	4	376	Mar 31, 2006 by cdb
	Alive and well (Preview) Hello all Hope you are doing well - things are going great here in NJ. My job is going fanstastic and I am finishing up my other job in 20 days (FINALLY). I had some huge accomplishments this last month - 1 being a swimmer from my team making the YMCA National Championships (first time in 10...	Cyn	3	279	Mar 31, 2006 by cdb
	PRINCPLES (Preview) P practicing program every day R Recalling rules along the way I into better times ahead N never feeling the old dread C correcting habits that are bad P preparing now to live each minute L loving,caring others in it E ending daily with a prayer S saying God I'm glad I'm here Look no...	angel123	5	281	Mar 31, 2006 by hudsond
	missing person... (Preview) hi guys has anyone heard from cyn at all...??? i havent seen her name in here in ages and i havent gotten an e-mail from here in over a month.... was getting kinda worried... i hope shes just too busy with work or sumthing...hope its got nothing to do with the ex, he cud have made contact. hope ye ar...	Rebecca	2	318	Mar 31, 2006 by Cyn
	Need to get it out... (Preview) I'm so frustrated. My a boyfriend is home today. I called the neighbor to find out if he was home since he wasn't answering his phone and I was getting worried. She said she heard him walking around upstairs. She called me later to tell me the other neighbors saw him HIDING all day s...	SerenityGirl	7	439	Mar 31, 2006 by Juster
	Doing something good for me (Preview) Tonight I will be attending a women's spritual retreat in Gettysburg, PA. It is for the whole weekend. It is titled "A Well Tended Soul". Valerie Bell is the author and the speaker for this retreat. I am very excited. The weather is beautiful and although things are not going that good right now...I am s...	Gailey	3	415	Mar 31, 2006 by BlueCloud
	Have a confession (Preview) I spoke with my husband and the other woman this morning separately and they both told me the same thing. They met at a truck stop (she is also a truck driver) and exchanged numbers. She doesn't live in out state and haven't seen each other since they met, but talk for several hours each day w...	Powerless	12	671	Mar 31, 2006 by hudsond
	I need help connection (Preview) Does anyone know how I can get connected to the chat room? My computer crashed last week and I've no been able to get in since then. This is what comes up. Any suggestion? Connecting...unable to connect: com.ms.security.SecurityExceptionEx: cannot connect to "irc mipcha...	SerenityGirl	2	281	Mar 31, 2006 by Jeannie
	Another woman (Preview) I woke up this morning and checked my husband's cell phone. I was being nosy. I found a bunch of texts from another woman. I called the number and spoke with the woman. We have the same name, imagine that. He met her at a truck stop on his way through Georgia. They h...	Powerless	22	678	Mar 31, 2006 by northstar
	no time to think (Preview) i have not posted in a while. the truth is that i have not had time to sit down, think about what is wrong, and get upset about it. i have kept busy. but i had a free moment yesturday and thought about my dad. i just found out that my dad went out of town. we still are not speaking, so i found out from my brother t...	flintfeet	7	296	Mar 31, 2006 by Gailey
	Newbie online and in general (Preview) Hi all, So, 2 months ago I discovered that my husband was addicted to cocaine. After 8 weeks of more emotions than this one girl can endure I am looking for anyone who can help me make sense of this hell. We have been married for almost 9 years and have 2 beautiful daughters, wonderful fami...	robyn76	8	316	Mar 31, 2006 by robyn76
	Music as Detachment (Preview) The post yesterday by rtexas got me thinking about how music can be used to help with detachment. Long before I ever heard of detachment, when my AW was giving me fits, I would, and do, run part of the old Simon and Garfunkle song through my mind. I am a rock I am an island and a rock feels no pain...	Juster	7	448	Mar 31, 2006 by QOD
	Final day (Preview) Well he has had his moments, but after he was proved wrong about money issues, he was very civil last night. Things are dividing nicely with no hassles so far as small household items. So just have to be around him at noon and this evening and we are on our way. Kids are excited a...	jrtjosey	13	484	Mar 31, 2006 by toto12
	online sponsor request (Preview) Hi there, haven't been around for a bit had lots going on with trying to reconcile with hubby. I really need a sponsore to help me at the moment as I'm well and truly stuck - local f2f meetings have proved to be not very much help to me, and with very few members, I've been unable to find a f2f sponsor...	Picowitch	4	339	Mar 31, 2006 by DanaAngel
	Bill Cosby - "Kids are brain damaged..." (Preview) .... I wonder if that applies to kids at heart (... me ...) So I set up an apointment with a mariage councelor for next week. I told my wife about it and she didn't say much except that she's been saying that forever.... the phrase I heard was '... if you drag me to a councelor, I will rip you a new one i...	rtexas	5	693	Mar 31, 2006 by seachange
	I feel soooo sad, the past revisited. (Preview) Hi, I've just re-read several posts as I realised they had 'stirred up some old stuff' for me. It's about separation/divorce/babies. I don't know if it is appropriate to use this forum for this purpose or whether I should've journalled it. I haven't got a sponsor at the moment as she left the pro...	Ria	5	427	Mar 31, 2006 by Ria
	When HP speaks I listen... (Preview) Aloha Ohana (Hello Family) Life has been great, with a few little mole hills here and there nothing much that Higher Power would even break into a sweat about and then the problem is me right? So last night I decide to use the paper shredder and its jambed up with paper and not only not working but...	Jerry F	3	367	Mar 31, 2006 by nmike
	Baiting me? (Preview) For two days my A has been baiting me. Wanting to fight, argue, he is just being right out rude to me and the kids. He went out Saturday night didn't come home, then Sunday around 11am he answered my call only to hang up on me and turn his phone off. I didn't react! Now for the last t...	marmare	5	346	Mar 30, 2006 by Therese
	Nicer to self is hard to do (Preview) Courage to Change, Mar 29 "It's time I started being nicer to myself. The voices in my head that tell me I'm not good enough do not speak the truth..." I have some loud voices in my head today telling me I am not good Enough. One voice in particular is an echo of what I heard yesterda...	peewee	6	449	Mar 30, 2006 by peewee
	Hmmmm (Preview) Now that I have posted 500 times, I have become a "service worker?" I don't think so. I prefer to think of myself as a voice of reason and a giver of good advice. I'll leave the "service working" to others who are more qualified in that field. Love to all, Diva	Diva	4	356	Mar 30, 2006 by Karilynn
	I am making progress (Preview) I went by my husband's house last night to pick up my Check Visa that was mailed there. This was the first time I have seen him or even spoke to him since I left 3 1/2 weeks ago. I was able to hold myself together. I went into the house, picked up my mail and didn't try to engage in any conver...	JulieLynn	5	325	Mar 30, 2006 by RamzDear
	Really need to set up boundaries (Preview) I really need to start setting up boundaries. My DIL and son are separated. My son is the A. I am trying very hard to support her in this time that is so very hard for her. There are also 2 beautiful children involved. I am trying to work my program to the best of my ability at this time. I am trying not to lectur...	Gailey	2	332	Mar 30, 2006 by aunitedway
	letting go letting God (Preview) When my first sponcer was alive,she gave me homework,I do it now with those I sponcer.One thing that really helped me was writing.I have saved alot of the things I wrote as we discused things.I found "let go let God"Thought I would share.... Letting go doesn't mean releasing my grip on life and fal...	angel123	3	360	Mar 30, 2006 by Beth
	Reflections Of Ourselves (Preview) Hi All, I have heard over and over that what we don't like in about someone else can be a trait we may ourselves have that bothers us. Well, my "A" has had some really poor choices of friends. What bothers me so much, is that they are takers, and he is their giver. And it pisses me off when he is doing that....	Dolphin123	5	305	Mar 30, 2006 by Powerless
	I strongly believe...... (Preview) That cheating and/or abuse are NOT a symptom of being A. Not all A's abuse and or cheat. Is it in alanon or AA lit. that they are symptoms? I do not buy it, not one bit. BUT I would LOVE to hear the other side and literature that talks about it. love,debilyn	debilyn	5	357	Mar 30, 2006 by twinmom2
	Twelve Rewards to the Twelve Steps (Preview) Twelve Rewards To the Twelve Steps 1.HOPE instead of desperation. 2. FAITH instead of despair. 3. COURAGE instead of fear. 4. PEACE OF MIND instead of confusion. 5. SELF -RESPECT instead of contempt. 6. SELF CONFIDENCE instead of helplessness. 7. RESPECT OF OTHERS instead of pity a...	angel123	4	376	Mar 30, 2006 by twinmom2
	UH-OH - What Am I Doing? (Preview) Oh man - it just gets worse. Of course, trying to have the courage of my convictions, I was conned back in last night. He said he's not going to go on the system looking for women anymore and proceeds to tell me all about the women that he's spoken with and how they finally admit that they are ov...	HadEnuff	6	499	Mar 30, 2006 by QOD
	My Neighbor's A Genius! (Preview) Hi all, My computer guru neighbor came over and got my computer back up for now!!!! He's really good with em! But I'm gonna start a savings for a new one anyway! This silly thing has gone down many times before and I don't trust it! So thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers! Am almost afraid to use it for...	jonibaloni21	4	421	Mar 30, 2006 by DanaAngel
	I Want to STAY Strong! (Preview) Just a quick recap: We were supposed to have broken up. We live in the same duplex we own (separate sides). He has continued to request my presence and 'other things', nightly, once he is drunk. I have acquiesced. I already caught him in the act with a woman 2 weeks ago.&nbs...	HadEnuff	7	507	Mar 30, 2006 by Jerry F
	Exhausted (Preview) Thanks to my pink toenails and fingernails I got through today with my focus where it needed to be. The pink reminded me of my program. My husband woke up this morning and was very ill tempered. He was angry that he quit his job and blamed me. He said I made him quit. I want...	Powerless	7	502	Mar 30, 2006 by Jerry F
	New Here - Not sure how to help family member, need advice (Preview) Hi there, my husband’s father is a self-admitted alcoholic and I am not sure what I can do to help him, or to help my husband for that matter and I am looking for some advice. What’s happened is the father had gone into detox about a year ago and was doing alright – he was still drinking about 3 bee...	Cinnamonwdh	9	347	Mar 30, 2006 by abbyal
	Still wants me to stay? (Preview) My husband came home last night and we had a very civil conversation. He said he would still like me to stay. ( With a beer in his hand) How romantic? It went well, still using same lawyer, divided some property. He still upset over bills, he doesn't talk to me about them, he jus...	jrtjosey	10	362	Mar 29, 2006 by david62
	Something I thought worth Sharing (Preview) I read this little blurb in the newspaper today (of all places to find hope lol) and thought it was worth sharing: "After the darkness comes the light. It is a law. And thus, as night comes, the moon rises. At dawn, daylight returns. In the evening, the sky explodes. Each brightness offers hope un...	txmom	7	411	Mar 29, 2006 by david62
	going away (Preview) Next weekend I am going away with some program friends. My husband and I are getting along great so now I am having a hard time getting myself to go. I have all ready paid my money. I know that I am going to have a wonderful time once get past this unknown stuff going through my head. Once I am in the car I will...	nycbt	8	420	Mar 29, 2006 by Jeannie
	Does this qualify for meditation? (Preview) I played a Guns-n-Roses cd so loud on my way to work that when I stopped at red lights people were staring at me. I feel totally relaxed...	rtexas	8	473	Mar 29, 2006 by Powerless
	Toolbox/Minute by Minute (Preview) Good afternoon, all. I was sitting here thinking about when I go home later. (Work is such a refuge for me!) I'd really like to hear about some of the tools that we can use on a minute by minute basis when our A is acting out. Just to get through the moment. My main thing right now is again with my son. He st...	kspear	5	261	Mar 29, 2006 by Powerless
	devil to saint? (Preview) I got a very polite email from my A today asking if the kids had anything tonight or if we could talk. I thought he meant continue dicussioins on division of property. I replied that would be fine. He comes home at lunch and says "'we can work this out". I said very calmly, like w...	jrtjosey	5	410	Mar 29, 2006 by drucilla06
	compassion versus anger for the A (Preview) The A is my son. I can have compassion for my child. I understand the disease alot more now that I have been reading all of your posts for several months. My father was an A. I never had any compassion for him until I knew more about the disease. There are alot of "isms" in my family. I can have compassion beca...	Gailey	4	481	Mar 29, 2006 by peewee
	changing attitude/changing fear (Preview) I am really working to change my attitude from poor me to taking care of me after doing some work in this room and listening to shares. I know my attitude can pervade everything. I am trying to be open and wiling in my job search (which is hard because I have had a number of set backs).&n...	maresie	6	431	Mar 29, 2006 by mebjk
	LOOOONG take on "abandonment" (Preview) ABANDONMENT Because of the chronic distress in an alcoholic family, every person in that family attempts to adapt to the chronic stress. Each becomes hypervigilant, anxious and chronically afraid. In such an environment, it is impossible for anyone to get...	rosie light shines	4	483	Mar 29, 2006 by hudsond
	He had a crisis (Preview) He came home from work today and told me that we needed to talk. He informed me that he sold the cb radio and tv/dvd player (the third one) and bought coke today. He relapsed in a big way. By the time he told me he had already secured a bed for tomorrow night at a detox and then a rehab cente...	Powerless	8	349	Mar 29, 2006 by aunitedway
	Anger, Resentment & closeness (Preview) Hi All, I just read a couple posts and all of a sudden I don't get it. I know that we are supposed to focus on us and supposedly this will take the focus off the a, but no matter how hard I focus on me it seems like the anger, resentments and so on are still there. I still like with my...	holly123	2	455	Mar 29, 2006 by hudsond
	Hp--? (Preview) I know my HP knows best. Sometimes stuff can get pretty tough though and I think he thinks I can handle more than I can. I handle because I have no choice! What's this about you ask? My best friend thinks she is pregnant. She isn't sure if she is ready for that and is very scared...	hudsond	3	289	Mar 29, 2006 by hudsond
	I'm Going to Be Gone A While (Preview) Hey Y'all, My stupid computer's hard drive died and so I won't be able to get on the board or the room for quite a while since I'm on disability and will have to save up for another hard drive or a computer. I will be able to come in sometimes while at the library , but will depend on how many are using them. Th...	jonibaloni21	5	344	Mar 29, 2006 by peewee
	One more step down the ladder (Preview) Yesterday he took one more step down the ladder! He has been off of alcohol since September, last week he asked me if I thought he had a swig of whiskey that would help him shake off the craving for the drug he can't give up. I told him he ought to think about that and I didn't think it would work....	hudsond	5	424	Mar 29, 2006 by debilyn
	Seems many don't know 'What is FISH NITE ?' (Preview) Maybe it would be a good idea to dicuss what FISH NITE is so those of us that don't know won't be in the dark . And I've seen someone curious about what a trout is ! So tell what you know for all to see. Thanks	d53sjurne	7	428	Mar 29, 2006 by lin0606
	sitting in a stew of resentment (Preview) Last year before I got here was pretty much an annus horriblis for me. I sat in a stew of resentment all year with the A. I had many many many screamathons with him and none of them got me anywhere. It was all extremely ugly and nasty and frightening and it escalated and escalated and I felt com...	maresie	4	418	Mar 29, 2006 by debilyn
	What the heck is happening to me? (Preview) Hello everyone, Someting is happening to me and I don't know why or even what it is ... HELP LOL. It is not a bad thing just so different that I am wondering just who I am. I'll explain ... Last Friday morning my AH came home in the morning after work handed me his check, normal enough (thanks HP) .. usual...	Jennifer	4	305	Mar 29, 2006 by hudsond
	Back from funeral and A update.. (Preview) Whew!! It's good to be home. We had a very nice time in Mi with A's family. My Mother in law's funeral was lovely, as far as funerals go. There was over 300 people. I guess when you are 86, volunteer everywhere, hospital, homeless shelter, belong to the Sportsmans Archery Club and was a 2cnd Mom (me includ...	Christy	13	452	Mar 29, 2006 by Karilynn
	Intimacy vs. Alcoholism (Preview) In the last two weeks with my "a" being home we have spent more time together than we used to. I am more intuned to his lack of intimacy with me and the children. It frustrates me and I have been asking him what are you thinking? or would you talk to me? I have heard that alcohol and mariju...	twinmom2	5	519	Mar 29, 2006 by Ria
	Thank you/Do I want to be right? (Preview) Thanks to everyone who has so generously given input on some of my questions. Especially about detaching. My 18 YO son is the A that is causing me the most difficulty at present. But I know that in truth, I'm the one really causing most of my difficulty. Now, what to do about it...	kspear	3	302	Mar 29, 2006 by Ria
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.