The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is my 3rd wedding anniversary. It's is also Piper Kitty's 3 birthday, and 1 year ago she came home to us! We became a family.
I look back on a year ago, and where we were. My hubby was in a serious relapse, work was miserable and I felt incredibly alone. I had yet to find you sweet loving people and begin my recovery.
One year later, and I'm here with you. I am concentrating on my recovery. My hubby is concentrating on his. We've had some rocky times, but nothing compared to last year. My 3 favorite lessons? 1. ODAT: one day at a time (sometimes one minute at a time) 2. The Serenity Prayer (my mantra) 3. Progress not Perfection (who wants to be perfect?)
I have loved my hubby for 24 years, and it took 20 years for us to realize that we were suppose to be together. That's me always behind the times lol. Ah well, better late than never. He is still the sweetest, most loving and sexiest man I know. I don't see the physical impairments, he wouldn't love me any less because I have bifocals now. I see that same intelligent, slightly michevious, and go-getter man I knew back in college.
We are stronger and better than we have ever been. I think that if we had married 24 years ago, we might not have made it. It wasn't our time. We refound each other after loosing touch for 7 years. So true love is possible my friends. If it's meant to be, it will. God will find a way.
This morning he is off and running to his meetings, and I will do mine. I came home last night from work and he had dinner made, the dishes washed, and a cup of tea waiting for me when I walked in the door. I got tears in my eyes when I came out of the shower, and he was in bed, reading his Blue Book. :read: A year ago, that wouldn't have happened.
Pipers Kitty, has brought an emmense joy into our lives. Never discount the importance a pet can play in your lives. She has helped her "Dadders" get over some anxiety attacks, helped "Mom" out when Dad was at the half way house, feeling lonely, and brought lots of laughter to our lives. She's not high on the IQ scale but she's ours.
I have never been happier than I am today. I love my family. I love my family here too. I thank you for all the lessons you have taught me, and the strength you have given me. I thank my hubby for fighting hard for his recovery, and to the sweet woman who rescued Piper so that we could have her. How incredibly lucky I am. I worship the ground all of you walk on. I bow down in reverance to all of you.
So to all of you who think that there is no hope, love won't find a way, and things can't be okay. I'm here to tell you that it's not so. I wish all of you could feel what I do in my heart. Hubby asked me last night if I would do anything different? Absolutely not! With the bad times, come the hard lessons. Once learned, there strength is gained. With the good times, reaffirmation of who we are and who we love.
Thank you for letting me share my happy day with you. Love and blessings to all of you.
Live strong, Karilynn, hubby, and Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
What a truly wonderful & inspiring post. Thank you for sharing. I am in tears right now @ my desk @ work from reading your post. In my darkest days, you have made me smile.
Thank you so much and congrats on the anniversaries. Congrats on the progress you and your husband are making. God bless you both.
Karilynn you deserve the best. That was a such a beautiful, honest post. You didn't whitewash the bad times, you have learnt from them and finally found a place that you and your husband can be happy at. Hugs to both of you. Luv Leo xx
Karilyn: I am so glad that you are in a space of gratitude about your life. Sometimes I think the only thing that keeps me and the A together is the love we have for our animals. Right now they are the bond that there is between us. I know the animals love him dearly and snow him with affection. Right now he does not get much affection from me because I have drawn back dramatically from him since I came here. I needed to do that to get some distance and detachment. My drawing back is not in punishment or in reaction to him it is for me in relation to learning to protect myself which I never learned to do.
There are times when the A can be cooperative with me these days. Oddly enough they come when I don't push the agenda furiously in the ways I used to. Of course I am heavily focused on my program and my issues (I am in therapy). I spend a lot of time on this board too time I need to sort out how to take care of me
I am glad that your kitty has been so instrumental in your recovery. I have a cross eyed, short tailed blue point (she just looks like she has a dirty face) who is the apple of my eye. She is not that sharp either but she certainly keeps her Mummy in line.
What a great post, your story is truly inspirational for those of us who trying to weave throught the maze of recovering relationships. I met my recovering A almost 28 years ago when we were both using, It never would have worked back then. Last year God brought us together and we are working day to day to strengthen our relationship and our faith that our HP will guide us in the right direction. I am so happy for you and your hubby our having the kind of relationship you both deserver, one of respect and love, comfort and joy. And to your little Pipers Kitty, tell her meow from my three wonderful kitty cats who have been with me through the good,bad and the ugly. Take Care and God Bless, Sarah
Happy anniversary! The joy in your heart is evident. And thanks for giving hope to others. In this past year I have been jealous of couples and people who say they have husbands because mine left. In my codependent way of thinking, that someone has a husband or is happy it diminishes who I am. I have learned so much through Alanon. I am truly happy for you!
In fact I am so happy for you that I am sending you a kitten. My cat had 4 kittens and they are so cute and bring such joy into my life.
Congratulations on your anniversary. Glad to hear things going well. My A just relapsed again after month and a half but it is OK. I know he will try again and in the mean time he still treats me with love and respect (disease even in advance stage doesn't always cause bad behavior). My A pretty much always sweet sober or not. Wouldn't trade him for the world either so I know how you feel.
Wonderful, uplifting post! It is so nice to hear when someone is happy and things are going well. I sincerely hope that will continue for you. Give Piper's Kitty a few rubs from me, I don't think my dogs will mind. Thanks again -- It brightened my day.
Kari, what a beautiful, and inspiring post. Happy anniversary!
When I was at my deepest point, you were one of the beautiful souls here who gave me unconditinal love and acceptance. You gave me hope. And, for today, my husband is home. He is being nice and loving to me. He is still drinking, but it is not taking away the serenity I have worked so hard for. HP has granted us a little time, I believe.
I love this program, and I love you too. And I love Pipers Kitty.
That's me always behind the times lol. Ah well, better late than never. He is still the sweetest, most loving and sexiest man I know. I don't see the physical impairments, he wouldn't love me any less because I have bifocals now. I see that same intelligent, slightly michevious, and go-getter man I knew back in college. 
I love my family. I love my family here too. I thank you for all the lessons you have taught me, and the strength you have given me. I thank my hubby for fighting hard for his recovery, and to the sweet woman who rescued Piper so that we could have her. How incredibly lucky I am. I worship the ground all of you walk on. I bow down in reverance to all of you. 
((BigHug))