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Hi everyone. Its 8:14pm on SUnday night, and as in every weekend every night from dinner till bedtime, my S/O sits in the chair and snores. Its like he has no desire to even socialize with me, let alone anything else. He says its my fault, LOL. I'm the one awake, doing laundry, posting on this board for someone to talk to, and its my fault hes asleep on the couch or in the chair. Its getting very old, and I'm beginning to wonder if I really want to marry this man or not. I have as much companionship living alone as I do with him here. He just doesn't understand how alone I feel when its an every weekend thing, and he works every night from 8pm until 6am. We never go any where or do anything any more. I love him, but.......................I didn't get in a relationship with a good man to hear him break sound barriers every weekend for 3-4 hours in the evening. Any suggestions?
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Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself, only be concerned with the day you are living, today.
Keep coming and keep posting. I have been unsure for quite a few years now myself, so I understand.
Keep the focus on you. Do good things for yourself whatever they may be. When we take care of ourselves, we don't have time to worry about others and our lives improve because we are willing to work on ourselves.
Keep coming and keep posting,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Hello, unsure, My heart goes out to you. I know what it is like to be lonely when you are in a relationship with someone. We are so glad you are here. You being here helps all of us to stay focused on our program. There is really only one thing I can share with you. That is my experience in Alanon. I have found that going to meetings, learning to speak at meetings, finding a sponsor who will help me work through the steps, and doing the step work helped me to really get in touch with myself and what I wanted. Working the steps will bring miracles into your life, mostly the miracle of finding yourself again. It works, if you work it! Blessings, mebjk
Relationships were sooo much easier 1,000s of years ago, a girl would come by and club ya over the head if she liked ya and would take ya home. Now as nice as that might be (I know I'd be spending a lot of time gettin X rays for all the lumps on my head...) things dont work like that anymore. The best thing I can offer to you is a guys perspective.....
Addiction aside, when a guy is stressed, overwhelmed, etc, we dont seek out companionship or communication with even those who are closest to us. I know that when I feel something is wrong with me, and that I have to fix it and its no one elses business. So, I would go to that cave inside myself to try and resolve whatevers eating at me. What I am getting at, is that guys need time to themselves every once and a while. Im sure he isnt doing this on purpose to hurt you or anything its just how we are. Thousands of years of evolution and we still haven't found a better way, sheesh. So dont let him get you down, do things you enjoy, for you.
What are you doing for yourself whilst he is asleep in the chair. There is no rule that says you have to stay home very night and watch him snoring. Visit friends, go to meetings etc and do something you like. My experience is that most men don't like being in an empty house you just might call his bluff if you start going out a bit. Take care. Luv Leo xx
My sympathies for you and your situation. We are lonely with them and lonely without them. I think that the man that posted here gave some good insight. My A is going through deadlines, tax season, etc. He doesn't know I exist and I could be dying for that matter and he couldn't/wouldn't respond. Alanon helps alot because we are in this together. f2f meetings help and sharing. The walls are real and we have to decide what we are able to tolerate. Sometimes there are glimmers of hope.
interesting situation. over time has anything changed that may not allow for the things you did? such as the going places etc. money, weather, other obligations that restrict the more recreational things the two of you would rather be doing?
have you been to this man what you used to be? changes will cause changes. some times for the better and unfortunately some times for the worse. I know myself as a man that when my ladies interests seem to be channeld in other directions or when she is worried about every one else i get this put on the back burner catch up to you when ever feeling, which the when ever can seem like an eternity. one problem gets replaced by another and so on. this can ruin a good relationship. we must make time to take time for each other. put the other worries in life on hold for just a little bit. it sounds like the time you have together is pretty limited to week ends if he works nights. maybe you both need to make the week time to wory and take the week ends off for each other? its well known that sleeping is a comon sign of depression and loneliness. could he be depressed over something or could he also feel lonely? has he tried to disclose any feelings he has about your situation? long storey short I doubt very much he feels any differant about you than before this routine started. I would bet he loves you as much or more than ever. im sure if you were to show him you have better things for him than he will get by sleeping, things mite turn around and faster than you mite think.
this is alot like a situation i am going thru, and I miss my S/O very much. we need work but it hurts to feel not so signiffigant to her.
has he tried to disclose any feelings he has about your situation? long storey short I doubt very much he feels any differant about you than before this routine started. I would bet he loves you as much or more than ever. im sure if you were to show him you have better things for him than he will get by sleeping, 
things mite turn around and faster than you mite think.
