Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Past present future


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1161
Date:
Past present future



I know where I was one year ago. I had 4 solid months of alanon. I had made an online friend. She helped me to see my life from another viewpoint. I walked to work, my husband did not work and controlled the money I made, He did not let me talk to anyone on my company cell phone when he was not passed out. He woke me at night with a flashlight in my eyes. I was miserable.


 


I bought a truck last April 30 and left him 2 weeks later. I lived in a hotel for 9 weeks. Then I was ready for my own apt. I moved in July 05. I have a nice place. I went on 3 vacations with friends. I filed for divorce


 


Present. It is time for mediation in my divorce. My A husband wants 17k a year in alimony and ¾ of our savings. So it is time for me to get strong and fight. I feel weak. I need to remember where I was and fight for what is mine after 14 long years.


Please keep me in your prayers.


 


Future – ODAT. But I know, this too shall pass


 


Megan



__________________
Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1130
Date:

(((Megan))))


You have come so far. I remember your posts about how proud you where of your apartment that it was all yours.


Your right, it is time to stand and fight for what is yours. HP guides us, and yours has taken you so far, now it is up to you to be strong and firm.


You are in my prayers. I am sure it will work out, you deserve it to.


                                                            Love Jeannie



__________________


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 19
Date:

Megan,


You will be in my prayers, all week, and I will add your name into my prayer circle.  We will see the power of prayer genuinely at work for YOU!!  I just know it!


 


LISA



__________________
liza


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2055
Date:

((((((((((((Megan)))))))))))))))),


You go girl!!!!!!!!! You've come so far.  It's amazing that was a year ago.  Stay strong.


Can't wait to see you,


love Maria



__________________
If I am not for me, who will be?  If I am only for myself, then who am I?  If not now, when?


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 130
Date:

You are in my prayers too.  Do you have a lawyer?

__________________


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 61
Date:

Good thoughts and wishes going your way.


((((Megan)))))


MFran



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1161
Date:

Hello my friends


 


Thank-you very much for the hugs and the support.


I do have a lawyer.


It is just hard for me to not just say yes to everything to just be done.


But I need to think of my future and not just the pain of what I am doing.


This morning I am running a 5k - my first race in 15 years, I raced a few times a year before my marriage.


I am becoming me again, and liking it.


The struggle over the money is important. I have to keep telling myself that.


I missed my face to face this week - I was in Houston on business. My friend went and told me the topic was standing up for yourself. Very topical for my life today.


Thank-you for the prayers and support


Megan



-- Edited by megan at 07:30, 2006-04-01

__________________
Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1501
Date:

((((Megan))))

You have come so far!! I am glad to hear you are gathering strength, (I am sending some prayer power!!!)

I understand that just wanting to get it over....but I believe in fair is fair....and what he wants doesn't sound fair to me. Alimony!! Ha! 3/4 of the savings!!! Double Ha!!!

Anyway! Just wanted to say I am proud of you and hope you have a great run!

David

__________________
Laughter is the Beginning of Healing


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 810
Date:

wow megan you have come along way. I have watch you grow as you have watch me grow. It is good to see all the things you have done.  This pain will past. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. It will get better just think of all the things that will get better after this is all over. You are going to be very strong.

__________________
Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 527
Date:

((((Megan)))


2 years ago I was going through my divorce.  Just because he wants it doesn't mean he is going to get it.  The process is expensive and it does wear you down.  Justice usually prevails.  If not I figure it is what my HP wanted for me to learn by experience.  So glad to hear you are doing so well.  That you have found yourself again.  Congratulations! 


 


Yours in recovery,


 


Julia



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2055
Date:

Addendum Megan -


Someone one told me to consider the divorce "a business transaction"


If it were a partner in business you would not roll over (tee hee).


Whatever you do, your HP will be there for you.


Love Maria



__________________
If I am not for me, who will be?  If I am only for myself, then who am I?  If not now, when?


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3656
Date:

((((((((((((((Megan))))))))))))),


First of all, you deserve every bit of happiness and love that can fill your heart.  You are an exceptional human being.  I know you can stand up and fight for what is rightfully yours.  You walked away from an unhealthy situation and never looked back.  You could have crumbled, but you didn't.  You fought for your life, and you took it back.  So I know you will do the same here and now.  I have absolute unwaivering faith in you my friend.  Go for it!


Live strong,


Karilynn and Pipers Kitty


P.S. Save the September 9 date, for a race here to benefit the Cancer Society! I'll be happy to cheer you along!


 


 


 



__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 706
Date:

I think that it is a long process to leave an A or stay with an A.  There is a lot of self negotiating to go on.  And for some of us there are huge financial ramifications.  For me there are also ramifications in our animals, our home and more.  I am sure that leaving the A was difficult for you. I also think that living with someone and sharing so much for years takes a long time to negotiate. Some people in the face of loss come out with their guns blazing.  I divorced an A many years ago.  He is still in some aspects in denial about what he did and how he did and how he viewed our relationship at that time. For me that was a very important (albeit short) relationship.    That A was pretty nasty in the break up.  I think that is part and parcel of the breaking up for some of them which is also a lifelong pattern for many of them of denial, abuse, control and dramarama.


It sounds like you are doing a great deal to take care of yourself. I think that is so commendable.  I am glad that this group and al-anon has been so instrumental in changing your life for the better.


Maresie



__________________
Maresie


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 241
Date:




Megan,


I remember last May when you left your A. I watched closely because I knew I too would be leaving my A husband. I've watched as you grew, took trips and ran into yourself again, lol. Good on you for getting back into running.

I'm very close to retaining my lawyer and start with all the legal crap. I know I too just want it to be over today but it won't and we gotta hang in there, stay strong and not force things. I love to force things! I forget who runnin' the show!

You'll do fine by just taking care of yourself around it all.

Whitie

__________________
leo


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 999
Date:

Hugs Megan I know you can do it.  You deserve everything and more.  I am so proud of you and it was great to hear your voice again on MIP.  Please let us know the good stuff as well.  We miss you.  Luv Leo xx

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.