Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

serendipity · serendipity

i went to see a movie with my ah. i think of him now as my ex. he should have been 3 months ago my i have an idiot lawyer. ok that sounds harsh, maybe he's and alcoholic too! he's a master of avoiding. so, we went to the movies and had a nice time, he came back here and played with the kids and stayed for dinn...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Ok, when I think of recovering alcoholic, I thnk of someone that knows they have a problem and is seeking help outside themselves. My A knows there is a problem but that is it. She does not think she needs help. She thinks her problem is under control by herself. Her drinking has slowed down but it has no...

John · John

Hello everyone, I wish to thank everyone that has sent in your recipes! My heart goes out to you for all you hard cooking. The cook book is coming together very slowly. I am in the middle of comprising inspirational daily mediations for each day of the year. This has become very...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I told my ex/bf that I could not see him anymore. That what he was asking me to do, I could not do. He wants me only for the bad times in his life. When he is down and depressed and needs someone to hold him. Some one to snuggle up with. Sex. Those are the only times he needs me. But, When I need someone for t...

confused · confused

I don't really get the new format of the message board. When I log on I see posts that are at the top of the board that were there days ago, and then new ones are way below. It seems that they move up as they are replied to not kept in the order in which they were posted. Is this accura...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I kinda laugh at that title because Mad TV used to do a spoof on a dating service. That was the title of the skit. Well it fits me now, lol I have tried to lower my expectations & it is working somewhat. I am trying not to keep track of her alcohol consumption. Not actually sure when or how much th...

abbyal · abbyal

I have heard delusion is when I believe the fantacy I have created about my life . I believe the lies I tell myself on a daily basis . Denial is when I know there is something wrong but deny that is affecting me and my family. I never put a connection to his attiude and the amount of alcohol he was cons...

afmom03 · afmom03

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

I have read several times here that we are people pleasers and fixers....Several years ago I bought a book entitled "The Need to Please" I saw this trait in myself .....Can someone explain the connection with living with an A. PS I read all the posts daily...they are very help...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Family))))) Over the past few months my AW has been telling me she's leaving/she wants me to leave, and back and forth. Yesterday she got on the phone with my mom and told her she was moving to her mothers. Of course my mom was floored and called to see what in the world was going on. ...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone... Just need to vent a little.... things were weird this weekend. My AH has relapsed after a year of sobriety last year and this year has been horrible, I hit my bottom of co-dependency dealing with it. I am learning to detach and it is tough, but the best thing for me th...

kerry5 · kerry5

I finally understand all of these statements in the opening and closing statements of our meetings.. They are the foundation that sets the program. Which basically says to me, focus on the most important thing which is me. I have been caught in other stuff lately and its just no...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I know this is a hot button topic for a lot of people, so let me say off the bat I am not trying to hurt or offend anyone. I am trying to figure out what I am comfortable doing and the right way of doing it. I have made the decision that if my AH makes me feel threatened like the...

spaceygurl4 · spaceygurl4

My recovering A husband has been clean for 15 months. At first, of course, things were great. His mother passed away about 2 months ago and it seems like we have gone down hill from there. I do feel deep sorrow for his loss and understand he needs his greiving time. About a week...

confused · confused

Hi everyone, Just wanted to post a quick update on how things have been going. My AH and I have been reconciled for almost a month now. Things are really going ok. There are bumps in the road but I think we are both doing our best to handle them as they come along. We started to s...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Well... I can, but it turns me wrong side out when it lets anyone down. I am the only one that looks at the money in my house. The demands for entertainment are high. In the past if I have said "that is a bit pricey for us right now", which is as close to saying no as I ge...

Powerless · Powerless

I am still battling feelings of lonliness; especially this time of nigt when I feel like it's too late to be calling normal people. I am trying to make friends in the program, but reaching out to people is very difficult for me. I called my sponsor early this morning and she hasn't called me...

Reetry · Reetry

I'm new and have a (silly) question---what is ESH???

drucilla06 · drucilla06

(((family))) AH and I have been getting along well.We got the refinance on the house,paid all the credit cards off and got some cash as well to use to finish the half done projects that would keep us from selling the house for a good price. He is still talking to his online girlfriend.He doesn...

jajanma · jajanma

Hello. I have been reading this board for a few months, but have never posted. My situation is that I have been in a relationship with an alchoholic for over 5 years. He has been in and out of rehab, and always goes back to drinking. He finally, at the age of 45, got his first DUI. That, along with a cou...

patience · patience

My daughter and I left my A in Feb. He has been over every day this week b/c it was his vacation. The past two days he was so overmedicated with prescriptions that he didn't even know what day it was, he said things that were confusing and strange like "Oh, I need to take a picture of you little" or "so where's...

Tammy · Tammy

For over 1/2 of my life I have loved a man.. We had children and built a life together that some would say looked perfect. Our love obvious to everyone, just one problem.. My husband is an alcoholic... The drinking got worse with every passing year... Christmas parties became a drunk fest as did weddi...

Powerless · Powerless

I have missed ya'll. Computer is back up and running. My HP did for me what I couldn't do for myself. Without being able to come here I had to go to meetings F2F. I am now working another 12 Step program and feel as if I am growing by leaps and bounds. Some days I feel as if I am...

LALA1 · LALA1

I posted about finding out my A was having an affair. He had taken his clothes and we had decided to end this. The next morning he came by to get a few more things and we started talking. I am not sure if I am doing the right thing by trying to work things out but this is what I want today.&nb...

Powerless · Powerless

I feel so good tonight. I am going to visit my daughter next Saturday and it will be the first I have seen her since January. I am nervous and excited. I keep reminding myself to keep it simple. Tonight we went to an NA meeting. It was a speaker meeting I chaired for some...

serendipity · serendipity

i'm sitting here a nervous wreck. when i first moved in here and hooked up the washer i started a electrical fire. small and all because of a faulty wire which was not my doing. but still it scared me. and i am scared everytime i run the wash. i'm sitting here and i get a whiff of that smell. so my blood starts r...

peewee · peewee

"Every good thought you think is contributing its share to the ultimate result of your life." Grenville Kleiser ...from Courage to Change, June 24 - - - Becoming aware of the power of good habits in changing myself is a gift of alanon. In other words, I am w...

peewee · peewee

Well, it seems like lately there have been a lot of interruptions while a share is taking place in meetings. I hope we will be more considerate in future. I come to meetings to listen to shares, and sometimes my time is precious. So, when interruptions take place it only makes the meetin...

debilyn · debilyn

I keep seeing posts mixed up??? ???? love,debilyn

zed808 · zed808

I am new here and searching for support. My husband abuses to relieve a back injury that will always give him pain. I understand why he does this but it is still ruining our lives. We just recently had to refinance our home and almost lost our home due to his addiction. We live i...

rf · rf

Hi :) I'm new to the group. Is there a schedule of the topics for meetings? Tks, rf :)

angel123 · angel123

For every problem there's a solution-even if it's to live with the problem. People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. Will power;You give God your will,He gives you his power. We can't help what anyone else thinks of us.It is eough that we are honest with ourselves. Forum Septemb...

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, I've had a bit of a dillema going on in my head and wanted your es&h on it if you could. I guess I'll start at, my husband works 4 ten hour days in a town 4 hours away and stays in that town m-th. When he comes home for the weekend, needless to say, our time together is precious. ...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello Group))) TGIF!!

Its been a long tiring week. It took me everything I had to make it into work this morning, not because I'm depressed just exhausted. Aside from work this week has been a peaceful week. Monday night the whole family went to an open meeti...

rtexas · rtexas

(((everyone))) I acturally sat down now that I can think with a clear head for the first time in several years, and asked myself... why am I here? I don't have a clear cut reason to be brutally honest. I really tried hard to find one. I love my wife, and I believe that under all the rage s...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

"There is a formula here, and if it's not here, it's in the next book. (Believing) a formula for everything! My main character defect is believing my defect is not a defect." ---from an alanon tape. (It has taken me many years to reach this insight. And still...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

"One of the Best Ways I can help other people.... is to encourage them to take better care of themselves...and to reward them when they do."

wallsal55 · wallsal55

I never could grasp gratitude, gratitude journals until I read Melody Beatties book on ''Gratitude". For me, it was her explanation to "keep track of what's right with this picture?" (instead of what's wrong !). Gets me back to ground level.

Anita · Anita

I did it...I gave my A an ultimatum. Me, or the booze. This Saturday we are going to sit down and hash this all out. I told him I'm tired of never going out to the movies on a Saturday night or going to hear a band because he is all tied up at home copping a buzz. Wish me luck!

Jennifer · Jennifer

Good Morning (((Everyone))) Amidst all the chaos at the moment LOL packing boxes everywhere, garbage, collections calling, giving up and letting go of all the ways I could possibly salvage this situation, I am sitting here this morning in my chair watching my puppy sleep on the floor next to me. He...

Dog · Dog

I’ve been writing / signing contracts with my friends each day this week – 24 hrs no contact with my A. It’s worked! But he called me mid-week. I maintained decent boundaries but after reflecting on the call, I decided it did me no good at all. Further, I think any contact with me at all – ANY contact...

TLC2 · TLC2

can anyone tell me anything they know about pregnant mom's smoking pot, and how it can or does affect the baby? My son's prego ex-g'friend appears to be smoking all the pot she can get her hands on, and I'm worried how it will affect my grandchild??!! Thanx, TLC

dori · dori

Hi, I cant get into the chat room.I know I havent broken any guidelines so what gives.. dori

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

HI all, Wow! The power of this program is starting to give me a much needed shot in the arm! I came back into the rooms (this board for starters) and got back into my literature this week, after being gone for almost 3 years. I made a huge step in admitting how out of control my life is right...

LALA1 · LALA1

I had posted about me thinking my A (husband) was cheating on me and tonight I found out he realloy was. I am so devastated. It was like when I thought something it wasn't as hard to deal with and now I have to face the reality that he is once again. He says he has talked to his sponsor abou...

sister3 · sister3

Hello, I am new here...actually new to really entertaining the idea of being the sister of an alcoholic, even though it has been evident for years. I am just really struggling with getting him help and trying to be strong and not enable him to get the help that he needs. I went to scho...

Lindy · Lindy

I am on the verge of just taking off to another country and leaving EVERYTHING behind. I'm so tired of everything and everyone around me. I have to deal with my AH and his nasty comments to me. I am having trouble with my seven year old son. He's ADHD and on Ritalin to try to control it. I think we found the rig...

kerry5 · kerry5

This came in my email thought you would like it. Think i posted it a long while back. Here it is Natural Highs Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one... 1. Falling in love. 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. 3. A hot shower. 4. No lines at the superma...

peaceofmind · peaceofmind

Hi I am an adult child of a alcoholic. I grew up in a alcoholic home for most of life and my dad stopped drinking after coming to AA for the past 10 years. However, as I have grown and progressed in my life, I find my past experiences and background having a profound effect on my behaviour. Anger for eg. H...

dori · dori

Hi, I have been in alanon about 3 years now.I went though a period where I was working on some areas in my life and wasnt going to many meetings . Now I am ready to get back in and have done some meetings on line and have posted here. My dilema is that my ex a and his new gf he met at AA now I hear go...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone... Thanks for this board. I have been saved by Alanon and the wisdom and love of other people in the program. I am fairly new. You know, I have worked the steps through AA, and am really trying to practice them in this program, and read up on codependency and Alanon lite...

nmike · nmike

Hi friends, I notice in reading many of the posts some of you have chosen absolutely no contact with your A's. No phone calls, no face to face visits. Even tho you have made a conscious choice for no contact, you still talk about missing your A's and resisting the temptation to call. Why do you chose no c...

nycbt · nycbt

Me and my friend were talking yesterday and the subject trust came up. We have issue trusting, both of our lives are going great, so why do we have problems trusting. Well my problem trusting my husband is because he is one of the a's in my life. He is going to aa, so he could go back to drinking all the time an...

kerry5 · kerry5

It amazes me lately my triggers. It takes a line in chat and a flood of memory comes without warining. Memories i wouldnt go to if a certain thing wasnt said. IT also amazes me the feelings that come with these memories. Every time this happens i so wish i could get my anger back. There...

Gailey · Gailey

Thank HP...I went to a meeting last night. It was on the 3rd step. There were alot of parents in that meeting and alot of stuff I needed to hear. I am pretty much able to detach this morning. Only by the Grace of HP and the Alanon program. I am kinda looking at it as a chance to let him suffer consequences and ge...

abbyal · abbyal

I am looking for someone with the REAL name of Sandy (not a nick name ) husb named Garry. If you could pm me I will explain why????? Louise

Belongtome · Belongtome

Well...thanks to Gailey, at least I'm working on it. She sent me a "sample" spreadsheet where she lists monthly expense, and the due date, date paid, etc. I just started filling it out, but also including the interest rate, and the balances for each, and the past due amount. I figured I...

Gailey · Gailey

I know that my HP has something better for me. I believe that our HP does have a plan for us. I can relate this to a spouse, bf or gf of an A. My problem comes in when I try to relate it to my child. As a spouse, bf or gf you can one day ,hopefully, have a better life without the A in your life. (I did) Ho...

Jennifer · Jennifer

hello ((Everyone)) When I said in my last post that things were getting ugly around here I grossly UNESTIMATED. Today has really been the topper for me and I need some serious advice and ESH. My AH called me at work and said he wanted to walk home with me. Sounded OK so I said sure. When he got there, he i...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, my AH boyfriend has been not drinking for four of five months now. He was in treatment for a while...went in by his own choice. He did have a lapse for a few days three weeks ago, and he and his drinking pals went out. Then the money ran out. We don't live together, and I detatched as best I coul...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	i don't know (Preview) i went to see a movie with my ah. i think of him now as my ex. he should have been 3 months ago my i have an idiot lawyer. ok that sounds harsh, maybe he's and alcoholic too! he's a master of avoiding. so, we went to the movies and had a nice time, he came back here and played with the kids and stayed for dinn...	serendipity	2	513	Jun 27, 2006 by marchgrl
	Define " recovering alcoholic"? (Preview) Ok, when I think of recovering alcoholic, I thnk of someone that knows they have a problem and is seeking help outside themselves. My A knows there is a problem but that is it. She does not think she needs help. She thinks her problem is under control by herself. Her drinking has slowed down but it has no...	hmrnrnmm	7	1376	Jun 27, 2006 by canadianguy
	cook book update 6/22 (Preview) Hello everyone, I wish to thank everyone that has sent in your recipes! My heart goes out to you for all you hard cooking. The cook book is coming together very slowly. I am in the middle of comprising inspirational daily mediations for each day of the year. This has become very...	John	4	576	Jun 27, 2006 by aunitedway
	I made a decesion to walk away (Preview) I told my ex/bf that I could not see him anymore. That what he was asking me to do, I could not do. He wants me only for the bad times in his life. When he is down and depressed and needs someone to hold him. Some one to snuggle up with. Sex. Those are the only times he needs me. But, When I need someone for t...	sisdragonfly1957	9	733	Jun 27, 2006 by Christy
	new message board format is confusing me (Preview) I don't really get the new format of the message board. When I log on I see posts that are at the top of the board that were there days ago, and then new ones are way below. It seems that they move up as they are replied to not kept in the order in which they were posted. Is this accura...	confused	14	684	Jun 27, 2006 by Rita G
	Lowered expectations ( my last few days) long (Preview) I kinda laugh at that title because Mad TV used to do a spoof on a dating service. That was the title of the skit. Well it fits me now, lol I have tried to lower my expectations & it is working somewhat. I am trying not to keep track of her alcohol consumption. Not actually sure when or how much th...	hmrnrnmm	3	531	Jun 27, 2006 by lin0606
	DELUSION VS DENIAL (Preview) I have heard delusion is when I believe the fantacy I have created about my life . I believe the lies I tell myself on a daily basis . Denial is when I know there is something wrong but deny that is affecting me and my family. I never put a connection to his attiude and the amount of alcohol he was cons...	abbyal	3	1586	Jun 26, 2006 by Andrea12
	He's driving drunk now!!! (Preview)	afmom03	2	494	Jun 26, 2006 by maresie2
	people pleasers?? (Preview) I have read several times here that we are people pleasers and fixers....Several years ago I bought a book entitled "The Need to Please" I saw this trait in myself .....Can someone explain the connection with living with an A. PS I read all the posts daily...they are very help...	Elizabeth M	3	586	Jun 26, 2006 by maresie2
	Threats and enlightenment (Preview) (((((Family))))) Over the past few months my AW has been telling me she's leaving/she wants me to leave, and back and forth. Yesterday she got on the phone with my mom and told her she was moving to her mothers. Of course my mom was floored and called to see what in the world was going on. ...	rtexas	13	820	Jun 26, 2006 by marchgrl
	Confused and Compassionate (Preview) Hi everyone... Just need to vent a little.... things were weird this weekend. My AH has relapsed after a year of sobriety last year and this year has been horrible, I hit my bottom of co-dependency dealing with it. I am learning to detach and it is tough, but the best thing for me th...	hersh	2	684	Jun 26, 2006 by marchgrl
	HoW Many of You Actually Read the Opening and Closing of the Alanon MEetings??? (Preview) I finally understand all of these statements in the opening and closing statements of our meetings.. They are the foundation that sets the program. Which basically says to me, focus on the most important thing which is me. I have been caught in other stuff lately and its just no...	kerry5	9	3501	Jun 26, 2006 by jrtjosey
	I've been thinking alot about the consequences of drunk driving (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I know this is a hot button topic for a lot of people, so let me say off the bat I am not trying to hurt or offend anyone. I am trying to figure out what I am comfortable doing and the right way of doing it. I have made the decision that if my AH makes me feel threatened like the...	Jennifer	6	918	Jun 26, 2006 by Jennifer
	Anyone with recovering Addict?? (Preview) My recovering A husband has been clean for 15 months. At first, of course, things were great. His mother passed away about 2 months ago and it seems like we have gone down hill from there. I do feel deep sorrow for his loss and understand he needs his greiving time. About a week...	spaceygurl4	5	693	Jun 26, 2006 by Belongtome
	does HP make the bottom so low so that we as Al-Anoners get it??? (Preview) Hi everyone, Just wanted to post a quick update on how things have been going. My AH and I have been reconciled for almost a month now. Things are really going ok. There are bumps in the road but I think we are both doing our best to handle them as they come along. We started to s...	confused	3	747	Jun 26, 2006 by Christy
	I just can't say NO... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Well... I can, but it turns me wrong side out when it lets anyone down. I am the only one that looks at the money in my house. The demands for entertainment are high. In the past if I have said "that is a bit pricey for us right now", which is as close to saying no as I ge...	rtexas	6	672	Jun 26, 2006 by kitty
	Feelings of loneliness (Preview) I am still battling feelings of lonliness; especially this time of nigt when I feel like it's too late to be calling normal people. I am trying to make friends in the program, but reaching out to people is very difficult for me. I called my sponsor early this morning and she hasn't called me...	Powerless	3	627	Jun 26, 2006 by debilyn
	ESH (Preview) I'm new and have a (silly) question---what is ESH???	Reetry	2	466	Jun 25, 2006 by Reetry
	just thinking outloud... (Preview) (((family))) AH and I have been getting along well.We got the refinance on the house,paid all the credit cards off and got some cash as well to use to finish the half done projects that would keep us from selling the house for a good price. He is still talking to his online girlfriend.He doesn...	drucilla06	2	601	Jun 25, 2006 by Christy
	Scared (Preview) Hello. I have been reading this board for a few months, but have never posted. My situation is that I have been in a relationship with an alchoholic for over 5 years. He has been in and out of rehab, and always goes back to drinking. He finally, at the age of 45, got his first DUI. That, along with a cou...	jajanma	7	526	Jun 25, 2006 by Christy
	A in my face (Preview) My daughter and I left my A in Feb. He has been over every day this week b/c it was his vacation. The past two days he was so overmedicated with prescriptions that he didn't even know what day it was, he said things that were confusing and strange like "Oh, I need to take a picture of you little" or "so where's...	patience	4	563	Jun 25, 2006 by lin0606
	What is worse livng with an A or living without someone you LOVE ? (Preview) For over 1/2 of my life I have loved a man.. We had children and built a life together that some would say looked perfect. Our love obvious to everyone, just one problem.. My husband is an alcoholic... The drinking got worse with every passing year... Christmas parties became a drunk fest as did weddi...	Tammy	12	812	Jun 25, 2006 by kellyjelly
	It's good to be back!!! (Preview) I have missed ya'll. Computer is back up and running. My HP did for me what I couldn't do for myself. Without being able to come here I had to go to meetings F2F. I am now working another 12 Step program and feel as if I am growing by leaps and bounds. Some days I feel as if I am...	Powerless	9	562	Jun 25, 2006 by bubbles1990
	Trying to get through (Preview) I posted about finding out my A was having an affair. He had taken his clothes and we had decided to end this. The next morning he came by to get a few more things and we started talking. I am not sure if I am doing the right thing by trying to work things out but this is what I want today.&nb...	LALA1	2	511	Jun 25, 2006 by dori
	I feel so good!!! (Preview) I feel so good tonight. I am going to visit my daughter next Saturday and it will be the first I have seen her since January. I am nervous and excited. I keep reminding myself to keep it simple. Tonight we went to an NA meeting. It was a speaker meeting I chaired for some...	Powerless	1	470	Jun 25, 2006 by confused
	not sure what my topic is (Preview) i'm sitting here a nervous wreck. when i first moved in here and hooked up the washer i started a electrical fire. small and all because of a faulty wire which was not my doing. but still it scared me. and i am scared everytime i run the wash. i'm sitting here and i get a whiff of that smell. so my blood starts r...	serendipity	1	537	Jun 25, 2006 by Karilynn
	Good thoughts, awareness (Preview) "Every good thought you think is contributing its share to the ultimate result of your life." Grenville Kleiser ...from Courage to Change, June 24 - - - Becoming aware of the power of good habits in changing myself is a gift of alanon. In other words, I am w...	peewee	1	460	Jun 25, 2006 by Karilynn
	Meetings here (Preview) Well, it seems like lately there have been a lot of interruptions while a share is taking place in meetings. I hope we will be more considerate in future. I come to meetings to listen to shares, and sometimes my time is precious. So, when interruptions take place it only makes the meetin...	peewee	1	682	Jun 25, 2006 by Karilynn
	Is it me? (Preview) I keep seeing posts mixed up??? ???? love,debilyn	debilyn	5	505	Jun 24, 2006 by peewee
	new and scared (Preview) I am new here and searching for support. My husband abuses to relieve a back injury that will always give him pain. I understand why he does this but it is still ruining our lives. We just recently had to refinance our home and almost lost our home due to his addiction. We live i...	zed808	4	629	Jun 24, 2006 by just me
	Topics for Meetings (Preview) Hi :) I'm new to the group. Is there a schedule of the topics for meetings? Tks, rf :)	rf	4	782	Jun 24, 2006 by Ria
	Food for thought (Preview) For every problem there's a solution-even if it's to live with the problem. People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. Will power;You give God your will,He gives you his power. We can't help what anyone else thinks of us.It is eough that we are honest with ourselves. Forum Septemb...	angel123	1	504	Jun 24, 2006 by abbyal
	jealous of his sponsees? (Preview) Hi all, I've had a bit of a dillema going on in my head and wanted your es&h on it if you could. I guess I'll start at, my husband works 4 ten hour days in a town 4 hours away and stays in that town m-th. When he comes home for the weekend, needless to say, our time together is precious. ...	mastiff	8	753	Jun 24, 2006 by abbyal
	Making progress and not to worried about perfection (Preview) (((Hello Group))) TGIF!! Its been a long tiring week. It took me everything I had to make it into work this morning, not because I'm depressed just exhausted. Aside from work this week has been a peaceful week. Monday night the whole family went to an open meeti...	twinmom2	4	463	Jun 24, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Why do I stay? (Preview) (((everyone))) I acturally sat down now that I can think with a clear head for the first time in several years, and asked myself... why am I here? I don't have a clear cut reason to be brutally honest. I really tried hard to find one. I love my wife, and I believe that under all the rage s...	rtexas	15	904	Jun 24, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Quote from engineer on Step 6 (Preview) "There is a formula here, and if it's not here, it's in the next book. (Believing) a formula for everything! My main character defect is believing my defect is not a defect." ---from an alanon tape. (It has taken me many years to reach this insight. And still...	wallsal55	0	450	Jun 24, 2006 by wallsal55
	Quote (Preview) "One of the Best Ways I can help other people.... is to encourage them to take better care of themselves...and to reward them when they do."	wallsal55	0	417	Jun 24, 2006 by wallsal55
	Gratitude for me (grasping it!) (Preview) I never could grasp gratitude, gratitude journals until I read Melody Beatties book on ''Gratitude". For me, it was her explanation to "keep track of what's right with this picture?" (instead of what's wrong !). Gets me back to ground level.	wallsal55	0	441	Jun 24, 2006 by wallsal55
	I did it... (Preview) I did it...I gave my A an ultimatum. Me, or the booze. This Saturday we are going to sit down and hash this all out. I told him I'm tired of never going out to the movies on a Saturday night or going to hear a band because he is all tied up at home copping a buzz. Wish me luck!	Anita	9	595	Jun 24, 2006 by Diva
	Impatience on trust (Preview) Good Morning (((Everyone))) Amidst all the chaos at the moment LOL packing boxes everywhere, garbage, collections calling, giving up and letting go of all the ways I could possibly salvage this situation, I am sitting here this morning in my chair watching my puppy sleep on the floor next to me. He...	Jennifer	1	504	Jun 24, 2006 by rtexas
	The Next Challenge and a question (Preview) I’ve been writing / signing contracts with my friends each day this week – 24 hrs no contact with my A. It’s worked! But he called me mid-week. I maintained decent boundaries but after reflecting on the call, I decided it did me no good at all. Further, I think any contact with me at all – ANY contact...	Dog	1	456	Jun 24, 2006 by just me
	pregnant mom's smoking pot (Preview) can anyone tell me anything they know about pregnant mom's smoking pot, and how it can or does affect the baby? My son's prego ex-g'friend appears to be smoking all the pot she can get her hands on, and I'm worried how it will affect my grandchild??!! Thanx, TLC	TLC2	4	576	Jun 24, 2006 by TLC2
	chat room (Preview) Hi, I cant get into the chat room.I know I havent broken any guidelines so what gives.. dori	dori	2	430	Jun 24, 2006 by Ria
	took a step today (Preview) HI all, Wow! The power of this program is starting to give me a much needed shot in the arm! I came back into the rooms (this board for starters) and got back into my literature this week, after being gone for almost 3 years. I made a huge step in admitting how out of control my life is right...	itsgot2bgd	1	582	Jun 23, 2006 by Ria
	Totally Devastated (Preview) I had posted about me thinking my A (husband) was cheating on me and tonight I found out he realloy was. I am so devastated. It was like when I thought something it wasn't as hard to deal with and now I have to face the reality that he is once again. He says he has talked to his sponsor abou...	LALA1	12	686	Jun 23, 2006 by debilyn
	my brother (Preview) Hello, I am new here...actually new to really entertaining the idea of being the sister of an alcoholic, even though it has been evident for years. I am just really struggling with getting him help and trying to be strong and not enable him to get the help that he needs. I went to scho...	sister3	6	562	Jun 23, 2006 by sister3
	I feel like I'm going crazy (Preview) I am on the verge of just taking off to another country and leaving EVERYTHING behind. I'm so tired of everything and everyone around me. I have to deal with my AH and his nasty comments to me. I am having trouble with my seven year old son. He's ADHD and on Ritalin to try to control it. I think we found the rig...	Lindy	6	651	Jun 23, 2006 by Jill
	Natural Highs (Preview) This came in my email thought you would like it. Think i posted it a long while back. Here it is *Natural Highs* Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one... *1. Falling in love. 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. 3. A hot shower. 4. No lines at the superma...*	kerry5	3	453	Jun 23, 2006 by kerry5
	New here (Preview) Hi I am an adult child of a alcoholic. I grew up in a alcoholic home for most of life and my dad stopped drinking after coming to AA for the past 10 years. However, as I have grown and progressed in my life, I find my past experiences and background having a profound effect on my behaviour. Anger for eg. H...	peaceofmind	6	484	Jun 23, 2006 by Jennifer
	isolation-any advice (Preview) Hi, I have been in alanon about 3 years now.I went though a period where I was working on some areas in my life and wasnt going to many meetings . Now I am ready to get back in and have done some meetings on line and have posted here. My dilema is that my ex a and his new gf he met at AA now I hear go...	dori	3	701	Jun 23, 2006 by dori
	Confused emotionally! (Preview) Hi everyone... Thanks for this board. I have been saved by Alanon and the wisdom and love of other people in the program. I am fairly new. You know, I have worked the steps through AA, and am really trying to practice them in this program, and read up on codependency and Alanon lite...	hersh	4	437	Jun 23, 2006 by Tammy
	Why no contact??? (Preview) Hi friends, I notice in reading many of the posts some of you have chosen absolutely no contact with your A's. No phone calls, no face to face visits. Even tho you have made a conscious choice for no contact, you still talk about missing your A's and resisting the temptation to call. Why do you chose no c...	nmike	3	1019	Jun 23, 2006 by canadianguy
	trust (Preview) Me and my friend were talking yesterday and the subject trust came up. We have issue trusting, both of our lives are going great, so why do we have problems trusting. Well my problem trusting my husband is because he is one of the a's in my life. He is going to aa, so he could go back to drinking all the time an...	nycbt	2	478	Jun 23, 2006 by annah
	Hp tests...lessons??? (Preview) It amazes me lately my triggers. It takes a line in chat and a flood of memory comes without warining. Memories i wouldnt go to if a certain thing wasnt said. IT also amazes me the feelings that come with these memories. Every time this happens i so wish i could get my anger back. There...	kerry5	4	508	Jun 23, 2006 by Rita G
	son got arrested last night (Preview) Thank HP...I went to a meeting last night. It was on the 3rd step. There were alot of parents in that meeting and alot of stuff I needed to hear. I am pretty much able to detach this morning. Only by the Grace of HP and the Alanon program. I am kinda looking at it as a chance to let him suffer consequences and ge...	Gailey	3	513	Jun 23, 2006 by tea2
	loooking for ?????? (Preview) I am looking for someone with the REAL name of Sandy (not a nick name ) husb named Garry. If you could pm me I will explain why????? Louise	abbyal	1	491	Jun 23, 2006 by dori
	I Know What I owe (Preview) Well...thanks to Gailey, at least I'm working on it. She sent me a "sample" spreadsheet where she lists monthly expense, and the due date, date paid, etc. I just started filling it out, but also including the interest rate, and the balances for each, and the past due amount. I figured I...	Belongtome	4	766	Jun 23, 2006 by Belongtome
	I don't understand this concept (Preview) I know that my HP has something better for me. I believe that our HP does have a plan for us. I can relate this to a spouse, bf or gf of an A. My problem comes in when I try to relate it to my child. As a spouse, bf or gf you can one day ,hopefully, have a better life without the A in your life. (I did) Ho...	Gailey	2	530	Jun 23, 2006 by Rita G
	I need some serious ESH (Preview) hello ((Everyone)) When I said in my last post that things were getting ugly around here I grossly UNESTIMATED. Today has really been the topper for me and I need some serious advice and ESH. My AH called me at work and said he wanted to walk home with me. Sounded OK so I said sure. When he got there, he i...	Jennifer	6	473	Jun 23, 2006 by iwishuheaven
	he's not drinking today...why am I so guilty? (Preview) Hi everyone, my AH boyfriend has been not drinking for four of five months now. He was in treatment for a while...went in by his own choice. He did have a lapse for a few days three weeks ago, and he and his drinking pals went out. Then the money ran out. We don't live together, and I detatched as best I coul...	annmarie	5	423	Jun 23, 2006 by annmarie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.