The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My daughter and I left my A in Feb. He has been over every day this week b/c it was his vacation. The past two days he was so overmedicated with prescriptions that he didn't even know what day it was, he said things that were confusing and strange like "Oh, I need to take a picture of you little" or "so where's the brown box" or he'd just be falling asleep talking to me then jerk and say things like "I know what you are doing - dont' think I don't know" then go back to sleep. I had to call my oldest son tonight to come and get him and take him home (they live together) b/c he was in no condition to drive. He left confused and angry. I told him I left him b/c I cannot watch him do this to himself. He won't even remember a thing tomorrow morning. My son told me I was cruel and mean to toss him out. I felt a little bad but not that bad - is that bad? I pray for strength and guidance - especially in what to say and what NOT to say. I think I did well tonight considering how creepy he made me feel. I feel sorry for him but not enough to let him impose his sickness on me and my daughter any more. Guys, I guess I'm just venting a little. I have to tell someone how horrible my week has been and how upsetting it is to see him like that.
good for you for making a boundary and sticking it. I am guessing you moved away from him so you and your sweet daughter would not have to be around this kind of behavior.
It is good for him to know he cannot take advantage of you.
Hey when they are out of control like this, you have NO idea what they might do. They could get violent and physically hurt you guys, or have seizures, or even die right in front of your daughter and you.
You might want to explain that to your son. Plus you listened to your intuition, creepy feelings, those are real and he was mad when he left, so that shows he does have a potential to be dangerous.
I for one am proud of you and see you showing great alanon skills. Your daughter is very fortunate to have a mom like you.
Your name says it all. You have to be patient with yourself while you recover. I felt a bit guilty at first when I told my A to leave. But like you, I had to do what was best for me.
Be gentle with yourself and be extra good to yourself. You deserve it.
Live strong,
Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!! I can't recall all the times in the past when I allowed As to act any way they wanted,say what they wanted and I NEVER stood up to them. What a horrible thing to do to one's self esteem;especially knowing it does no one any good to allow the garbage to pile up in your space.
I am very proud of your decision. Unfortunately there may be folks who don't understand what you need to do. You can only be secure in the knowledge that you prevented a significant amount of pain and anger from poisoning your soul...when you did nothing to deserve such 'punishment'.
You can also take comfort in the fact that you have an automatic support group at your fingertips who do understand you.
You know, you really are under no obligation to allow someone to come over to your house who makes you uncomfortable, or uneasy, or who even just interferes with you getting your chores done!
You have every right to draw that line wherever you like - "You're only welcome here when sober" or "You are only welcome when invited" or "You are not welcome" - what ever is best for your and your daughter. It's OK if he doesn't like it - after all, he does lots of things that YOU don't like, right? One of the hardest things for me to learn was that the world does not end just because people are not happy with my choices.
