((((((((((((((Hersh))))))))))))),

The key word here is detachment.  Learning to detach from someone, doesn't mean that you don't care about them or love them.  It means letting go.  An addict is going to do what an addict is going to.  It doesn't matter whether or not they are sober or active.  Not an easy tool to master.  Not quite sure that I've mastered it myself.  But I've come close.

You have to take the focus off of your A, and put it back where it belongs: on you.  My hubby is newly sober, and trust me, just because they are sober, doesn't mean that everything is peaches and cream.  I find I'm using my Alanon tools now more than ever.  Right now hubby is at a meeting and then he's going fishing.  Any other person would say okay go for it, have a great time.  But because of the chaos this disease causes in our lives, it's not that simple.  My mind can get going.  What if he comes home drunk? What if forgets to take his meds? What if, what if, what if.....? That will drive me crazy.  Well you know what? An addict is going to do what an addict is going to do.  Nothing we can do about that.

But I can change what I am going to do and how I react to this situation.  So I get busy with chores, music, come here and post and chat, take a nap, anything to take the focus off of him and put it back on me.  You recovery is about you, not about your A.  Make yourself your priority.  It's how we start taking back our lives. 

Don't be so hard on yourself.  You slipped, so did I. The cool thing is, is that we get to start all over again.  The sun always sets, and it always comes back out, even after a rain storm. Take care of yourself.  Be good to you. 

Live strong,

Karilynn

Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.

World Service Organization Website –

WWW.al-anon.alateen.org

Alanon meetings 1-888-425-2666

Al-Anon Family Groups UK & Eire
61 Great Dover Street
London
SE1 4YF

Tel: 020 7403 0888

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html 

Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.

• Go face to face meeting & online meeting.


• post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

·        In this program u learn that u have choices. In Alanon we don’t give advice but only suggestions.

·        Set support system.  people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.

• Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.

Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.