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When I said in my last post that things were getting ugly around here I grossly UNESTIMATED. Today has really been the topper for me and I need some serious advice and ESH.
My AH called me at work and said he wanted to walk home with me. Sounded OK so I said sure. When he got there, he informed me he was tripping on acid and had been drinking. I did not want a scene at work and needed to walk home anyway, so we walked home. Once we got here he got that little tyrant attitude, nothing said but I could tell his whole demeanor changed. he somehow had a new set of golf clubs, expensive ones ... said a friend gave them to him, I just replied how nice he thought of you. We sat for a moment on the couch, until he told me that he should probably leave because otherwise things might get "REAL" ... dunb me I asked real what? When he started laughing (reminded me of Jack in the movie "The Shining") I tried to remove myself from the room and came up here to check the board. As I sat down I heard my purse zipper open, and went back downstairs. He was in the kitchen digging in my purse. He wanted money, he has stole from my purse before, my money, work deposits, anything. I asked if he really thought it was OK to be trying to take money from my purse, and tossed the $12 I had in it on the table told him to take and leave his keys. He refused. Took his beer and left. I'm scared, scared to stay and scared to leave. My life and health are most important, but my home and things are important too. So is my desire to stand up for myself, i am working hard to do this as fast as possible and provide myself with the means to start a new life. I'm stubborn. Am I being stupid?
How can I find out what my rights are? Can I call the police and ask? If he comes back and I am scared can I call them? Does there need to be actual violence? If he is drunk will they make me leave because he should not be driving?
I lost my serene view I had even just yesterday. i don't want to be sitting here too scared to pack, i want the energy to return to get going. I don't want to cry. Help please.
I would leave... "things" are just that they are "things" and can be replaced.. My advise is to get your purse and leave... Better to be safe than sorry..
Dont take any chances your safety is what is most important.. !!
Go !!! You wont be sorry you did but might be if you Dont !!
I think I read in one of the al-anon books that if you fear for your safety, you should take care of yourself...that you should have a plan. Put some money and your keys in a safe place where you can easily access them if you need to leave quickly.
If you feel threatened, call 911, esp. if he is drunk/high and you feel afraid.
I have locked my AH out of the house by locking the storm doors so he couldn't get to the front/back doors and then called the police when he wouldn't leave. You know when you feel threatened; that is your God-given instinct to protect yourself. Listen to your gut. My AH never hit me , but that night, he was in such a rage, I wasn't sure what he would do... so I called the police. They came out and when he saw them, he hid. He knew I was serious. After the police left, I stayed locked in the house and wouldn't let him in and I called a friend. I told him he should go away and stay in a hotel or something that night, but he was not coming in that house b/c I was afraid of him. He couldn't believe it...and I stood my ground. He finally got tired and did go to a hotel. When he came to the next day, he was so embarrassed that he had to do that and that I had called the police... it was a rude awakening for him and made him realize how horrible I felt being around him... his own wife felt unsafe with him! When he finally did get clean and sober years later, that was one even he never forgot and said he didn't want to repeat for himself or for me. And... he hasn't.
Make a plan. Put things in place (money, keys) so you can take care of yourself. Call someone ahead of time and let them know you might need them, even in the middle of the night. You'll feel better and will feel more in control if you do... take care of you!!!
Also, when I feel afraid, I pray for protection, specifically, I ask my HP to send me angels to walk with me to protect me and I ask for angels around my home. He never fails me.
jennifer, sweetie, this is DANGEROUS.....acid can make someone flip out and kill
my normally sweet/ gentle / "woouldn't hurt a fly" brother did that shit a few times and man did he scare me....talked a bunch of trash, made threats against people, and just really tripped on the stuff...he has guns and was gonna "blow so and so's head off" really scary stuff
ur "things" are just things....R U married to this guy???? either way, i think i would see a lawyer about a "restraing order" this guy is a loaded gun waiting to blow up....
acid is baaad stuff, and to mix with alcohol, the guy could go nuts and go on a rampage and kill!!!!
i am not being melodramatic.....i have SEEN my brohter go through the changes...i have HEARD from reliable people what THEY saw when people do this stuff....
the manson killers were tripping on acid...charlie manson KNEW the shit would warp their minds, so in the weeks b4 the murders he fed all of them acid, and the night they killed, they butcherd the victims and drank their blood.... they interviewed the women in prison later, asking them HOW they could do such demonic stuff and they said "don't EVER touch acid"..... they were high on it when they killed, and it was like they were sort of aware of what they were doing when they killed those people, but it was like watching this funny psychelic movie.........it really made me worried about my brother, to listen to those killers , now serving life in prison when their death sentences got overturned, talk about WHAT that stuff does to ur mind
one night i was at my apt...this was a LONG time ago, back in late 70's, i saw this "friend" of mine who borrowed my tire....i asked him for it back, not knowing he had dropped some acid...he almost threw me over the balcony, we were on the 3rd floor and outside of this OTHER guy's place......my so called friend grabbed me by the throat and began to push me over the balcony cuz i pissed him off and asked a ??? that HE didn't happen to like, well i squirmed and yelled for my friend and he came out and grabbed him off me.......
i am as serious as a heart attack, if ur AH is doing acid, NOW is the time to take care of U and get the hell away from him...........its ur choice, i pray that u take this seriously and LEAVE!!! better yet, put as much distance between u and him as u can........................blessings and DEEP concern, rosie
I am so sorry. My opinion is if you feel threatened... you are. Stay with friends or your folks. Talk to the police, "what are my rights..." - to not feel threatened! Whatever that takes!
Don't put your hands on a weapon unless you are prepared to use it. 9 times out of 10 people in crisis who just grab something to feel safe have it taken away from them by people who are out of control.
I am not trying to scare you. I just would hate for you to underestimate what "out of control" means. This is not the person you know, he's not even the drunk you have shooed away when he's bugging you. If this is the first time you have been around him on acid... you have never met this man and should treat it that way.
When I say take care of you all the time to close my posts... this is what I'm talking about.
Really ... take care of you! We all need you around here and will be praying for you.
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I'm still here and doing pretty good. After posting I sat and thought about what I could do to be safer without leaving. My neighbors know a little about my situation, that I am preparing to leave so I opened the windows on both sides of the house and checked to see who was home. I called my best friend, 5 blocks away and warned her I may show up at any time. I slept with the phone in my hand with her number for redial and auto emergency button. Put my shoes, purse and Sully's leash next to me on the bed. Bolted and chained all the doors so I would know if he came home. Today I am going to call police, women's shelter and lawyer to find out what they can and can not do. I know it would be safer to leave but at the moment I do not see how to, I need to finsh packing and repairs, I have 4 cats that can't go to new homes for a little while yet and do not trust him or people he may bring here to treat them humanely when they are using. I am hopeful I will nto see him now again at least over the weekend, I prayed for that and longer. Thank you all for your replies and if you can think of anything else that would make me safer please suggest it.
Jennifer
PS ((RT)) No weapons in the house that I know of, aside from normal household items. I'll stick to my feet and phone
