Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

artygirl · artygirl

Hello I'm having a rough night here. I served my A/Cocaine-addicted hubby with divorce papers last week. This week he's been begging for another chance. I just had a conversation with him tonight and said I just can't go through anymore pain and disrespect, and I'm not sure I can ever trust him again. H...

maresie · maresie

I have really been trying to work on the martyr issue which is ingrained for me in dealing with the A and others. I feel I was really trained and schooled to be a martyr by my family of origin. I would alternate with the A between being a martyr (I could no give him enough) to railing and raging a...

Tammy · Tammy

I have to ask myself this.. Is loving an alcoholic worth what you loose ? My husband the alcoholic in my life can be so mean at times.. He calls me names and makes me feel like dirt. Other days he is as nice as he can be. We started counseling as our marriage has fallin apart and we are hanging on by a thread. I...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

AH has truck in both our names somewhere in AZ. He is going to treatment. No payments have or will be made. Also he got a DUI in Alabama on the way I found out. What do I need to do to CMA? Not sure what my responsiblity is here but I know I'm not paying for a vehicle I don't have.

Barbara · Barbara

were you officially diagnosed? and what did they do for you?

Barbara · Barbara

When attending a weekly meeting we're stuck in either a step or begineer meeting. Sometimes a discussion. But at conventions there is usually a choice of 3 meetings to attend at the same time.

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, My ex-A was just rubbing it in a few weeks ago how he had seen my alcoholic brother in Ennis and he was looking great , in a suit, and everything. This was meant to minimise to me just how bad this guys problems are. Yet last week my son told me that my brother had cut loose and gone to another brothe...

sandie123 · sandie123

I got the following quip in the mail today. It really fits in with what I have been struggling with lately... self-esteem. We are better than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less. -- Anonymous We are wonderful...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, When I was growing up my mother cleaned up after and enabled my Afather so much that even as a child I couldn't understand it. She was and still is completely codependant in his shadow for a lifetime. I remember at a young age vowing to myself that I would never end up like that. Yet here...

lebe27 · lebe27

Hi all, Well since A went back to drinking earlier this week all hell has broken loose. He had been sober for 7 weeks but had just shut himself in the house and avoided all outside contact in order to do it. Now all his looser friends are back. He has been in the woods cutting firewood...

Gailey · Gailey

I have been in a very low mood for the past several weeks...well actually it seems for my whole life. I have never thought of myself as being depressed. I had always thought that I felt the way I do because of circumstances in my life. I am now starting to think differently. As a child I remember my mom b...

Christy · Christy

(((friends))) My husband e-mailed me this song this morning and I sat here and cried through it. Believe it or not, it's uplifting..lol Thought I'd share some happy stuff, we all need that!! :) *sigh, 15 more days till he comes home for visit but his daughter is getting married so we have to travel. I don...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well he has been missing for about a week and I haven't really thought about it much just every now and again wondering if he's ok and then today I listen to a message from his mother saying that a guy from AA in Arizona called her to say he's ok and getting into rehab on Saturday. Now I found that I was E...

peewee · peewee

Oh boy oh boy I am on overload with the subject of "codyness". A family member other than myself raised cody, acoa, seems is trying to pass on codependence to everyone else too. Is that possible? Is this a family disease right along with alcoholism? Not to imply that I myself...

kingston · kingston

Just wanted to know if anyone read this book and tried the plan? Thanks

faraway06 · faraway06

Dear all-- I'm working the steps largely on my own, as the city where I live has a tiny, tiny Al-Anon group and I am without a sponsor. I get some good guidance from AA colleagues, but wanted to turn to this group with a question about doing a self-inventory as part of step 4, which is where I am now....

Gailey · Gailey

I have heard it said that alanon is a million dollar program shoved up your butt a nickel at a time. I could not help but laugh at that saying. I have never heard that before. I think I will have to remember that. Thanks...Gail -- Edited by Gailey at 09:40, 2006-09-14

beachbaby · beachbaby

Ok....why do I feel so strange right now. My ex bf is in jail again....contempt of dui court. He has been sober for a while, so I hear, not sure what happened. I had been thinking of his mom for several days, she and I were close when he and I were together. I occasionally see her in Al Anon and we al...

lilleah · lilleah

Ok, my A has been drinking at home the last month or so, only on Friday nights, and another couple come up and the husbands sit around and drink, and me and his friends wife, may have a few, but we just sit around and talk. Well this past Friday night, it was getting late, so our friends wife went in and went to...

scotia · scotia

i went into the chat room om 12/09/06 and there was a discussion about an active A and methodone and drugs should this be talked about on the main chat room or should it have been a private chat as any new al-anon member coming in would be confused. I do have sympathy as i have active drug abuse in my family bu...

hersh · hersh

((( Good morning everyone)))) I am in such a shellshock mode the last few weeks. I am strong one day and horribly anxious the next. AH is totally lying about this "friendship" he has been having since earlier this year, and of course I am checking the phone bill everyday. She call...

nycbt · nycbt

Nov I will be in Alanon for two years. At this present time in my life I feel very distance from Alanon. Which is not good. I can't get my self together to work my steps or even go to face to face meetings. My private computer has been down since aug 19 and I haven't been able to get on the internet at night like i...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello MIP Family)) I was working on this question as part of my step work and thought I'd share some of my discoveries. The definition of pity is a feeling of empathy and sorrow for the misfortune's of other. To feel for someone, show compassion to someone, and take mercy on them. T...

sld488 · sld488

Finally, I just prayed the serenity prayer....... instead of applying the words or trying to make them fit into the situation the way I wanted them to I just prayed!   ...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

The Daffodil Principle Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday," I promised a little reluctantly on her third call. ...

lilms · lilms

I have read many times or have seen where someone has edited or deleted one of their posts. How does one go about doing this??? I am not the most technologically advanced person but didn't think up until now that I was a complete moron. I have searched and searched this site and cannot fig...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

The other day A and I were in conflict again. He said to me that he is a grown man and will do whatever he wants. That kind of statement for me indicates he has no respect for the relationship or me and it is time to move on. Any one experience this kind of behavior. I a...

bob6502 · bob6502

Well my lovelies, as you all know I visited the land of cowboys and cactus this last weekend. I did my best to be bring my Al-Anon with me and I wanted to share what I learned about myself. I like doing a continuous tenth step around my recovery. I haven't made a post on this board in a long time. So here goes: 1...

findingmyway · findingmyway

Sorry. Deleted my post. This was probably one of those questions I needed to figure out on my own. -- Edited by findingmyway at 19:40, 2006-09-13

marks girl · marks girl

My A is doing great!!!!! Today is aweek he has been wihtour a drink. I know that isn't long BUT it is a start!!!!! I have learned a lot in a little amount of time. I am doing something for me!!!!! I am going to go back to college and get my masters degree. My A is very proud of me and thinks it is a good ide...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys well...where do i start..... the last few weeks i have been taking a step back from my ex boyf. the "A". he text me to tell me he had moved on, i said good. he asked was i around for the weekend.. i said NO i was going away with the girls for a break. he said FINE. i headed off with the girls up the c...

frog58 · frog58

"The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present" Barbara De Angelis "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." Anna Quindlen thank you for sharing...

sandie123 · sandie123

I could use some ESH on self-worth and self-esteem... 2 areas I am definatel lacking. I understand how important they are to my growth. I am reminded regularly from program members how I am a worthwhile person and am loved. I guess it's a good thing I hear that from ohters cause I don't beleive them enoug...

faraway06 · faraway06

Dear friends: Just joined this group a few nights ago and am so grateful for the community. Thank you all for your wisdom, hope and strength. The situation with the A in my life now is challenging, but I'm feeling centered and grounded these days so I thought I'd take a moment to continue to seek othe...

sandie123 · sandie123

It is just my son and me in the house. My A has been gone almost 11 months and my daugther just left for college. We live on just under 10 acres... on a "farm" which is gradually falling down before my eyes. My son and I are trying to get caught up on some of the things around the house which have been neglected f...

MIP family members here in San Antonio. · Diva

Several of us got together here in San Antonio. Most everyone spent the week enjoying one another's company, but I had lunch with the group on Sunday. The restaurant where we chose to meet was closed, so we piled in our vehicles and went elsewhere. Had a great Tex-Mex lunch at "Mi Tierra," which is renow...

shadow1 · shadow1

Hi ((((((((((((Family)))))))))) Today I’m asking for your prayers. I have to go in for a biopsy and I am letting the fear of the unknown get to me. I am scared to death. I have to see the surgeon on Friday and I’m praying that they surgery will be scheduled very soon so I know just what I might be up a...

moto · moto

Hello my fellow Alanoners. I am struggling a little tonight. I am in a relationship with someone in there first 30 days (she at one time had three years not that long ago) Any way she is living with me and she has a 9 year old daughter. I have been doing everything thing. As far as keeping the home and taking c...

ally02 · ally02

HI ALL FELLOW MEMBERS I JUST WANTED TO SAY A BIG, BIG, THANK YOU TO YOU ALL. I HAVE BEEN IN AL-ANON LESS THAN A YEAR, BEEN IN HERE ABOUT FOUR MONTHS. I AM JUST BEGINING TO LET GO OF WHO I THOUGHT I WAS. NOW I KNOW THAT PERSON WAS NOT ME. THAT PERSON WAS A THE CHILD WITHIN ME, I AM GROWING UNDER THE INFLUENC...

Becky1 · Becky1

Hey all! Just got back from our anniversary trip last night about 6pm. We had a fantastic time, went to Put-In-Bay, rode the ferry over to South Bass Island. We had neither one been there, and didn't even know anything about what we would find. It was great, the weather was ov...

irish54 · irish54

Today I've found myself falling deep deep into a self pity chasm and I can't seem to crawl out of it. Withing the past few years I've lost my mother, my bro in law, my sister to suicide, my son to prison, other son to mental illness, and now my daughter wants nothing to do with me since her hsuband died.&nb...

Barbara · Barbara

A year ago I was a mess. Ended up at the docs office where they tried putting me on Zoloft, started back at AlAnon (it had been several years), joined a new gym and a new Church. Husband had just had his left kidney removed due to cancer (he's doing fine now - its been a year). I kept telling myself it was due to...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I got home a couple hours ago from the most awesome 12 step recovery, women only retreat. This was my first year to go and I am so pumped up I don't think I'll come down any day soon. I learned so much about myself, my inner feelings, how to work my steps even further than I have worked them to dat...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

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sld488 · sld488

A few days ago I posted about my bf's daughter, her decision to move back with her biological mother, and now wants to come back. Last night I got a call from the bio mom. She informed me she had called the local authorities to come pick up the daughter to remove her from the home. She had told me how the dau...

frog58 · frog58

In alanon it is suggested that we all do something for someone and not tell them. Michael's Craft Stores (in USA) are running their afghans for charity program again. All they ask participants to do is knit or crochet a rectangles 7" by 9" and drop them off at a Michael's craft store and the...

Becky1 · Becky1

Well, everything was great, and now we are on an impromptu trip (left Sat. morning) in upper Ohio, headed for LAKE ERIE!!! We had dinner at the winery, went home, went to bed Fri, got up Sat and took off on the motorcycle and went thru and Indian Cave yesterday, stayed all night at a hotel in Bellevu...

gardengal · gardengal

For years I believed that things should be a certain way, period! There was a right way and a wrong way! I assumed my way of thinking was the right way. Dealing with active alcoholism distorts our way of thinking rationally, and in my case I began trying to control the drinker, his wa...

Barbara · Barbara

A year has gone by since my husband had his left kidney out due to cancer. He's busy at work, attending union meetings, told his drinking buddy he needs a few months by himself since he's busy w/work. Our son turned 14 and doesnt want his mother to fill up all his free time (Hey I was lucky to have his compani...

Karilynn · Karilynn

A day shall come when shall not hold these hands, nor "see" these dear familiar faces, Therefore, let us cheerish our Loved ones NOW, ...while there is time, and hold them close and treat them with all great tenderness. For soon, ... so soon we must part, ...and we shall not "find" them a...

DoN4me · DoN4me

I have a long history with my son's father an A. 18 years, we have had alot of problems lately in reguards to our son. I haven't really talked to him since I joined recovery. But my son had made a decission I had to respect his thoughts and opinions as he is growing in being a teenager. He wanted to go stay with...

WolfSong · WolfSong

Learning to keep the focus on me has been the hardest thing for me to accomplish. Being a mother of five, the sister of 6, the daughter of Daniel and Barbara and the wife of George.... I was totally lost at who I was, who I was suppose to be and what it was that I truly wanted for myself.... My father w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just want to thank everyone for their support, especially Jerry F for reminding me that I choose my consequences. I put a collect call block on the phone and haven't heard from him again. I wonder here and there about what's going on. He helped me move in so he could theoretically s...

twinkie · twinkie

I really need some help. I am feeling a lot of guilt and anxiety and so unclear which direction to go. I am engaged but wondering should I marry my A? He doesn't drink but just had a relapse. We were stuck in a terrible obessive cycle just before the relapse. We've broken that cy...

cedarpines · cedarpines

Hi (((Everyone))), Just wanted to say hi and let you know what's up with me. This summer has been a whirlwind as I have been making 3 or 4 ftf meetings a week even in the TX heat with no a/c in my car! I have been proud of myself that I (gasp - are you sititng down for this one) - I ASKED FOR HELP.&n...

AllyNon · AllyNon

Hi, I'm SO grateful for the Al-Anon program, it has helped me SO much in the 8 months I've been coming to meetings! I've started working the steps and have a sponsor, and I love love LOVE this program! My question is about making major life decisions -- in particular, whether to marry my boyfr...

kissers · kissers

This is the Hero of the dysfunctional family/alcoholic family. I read another post hmrnrnmm had and wanted to share why those who experience this in the adult years. People who develop panic attacks were often denied their childhoods. Yes, they were children. But often, they were require...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

HI all, Feeling kinda weird... nervous. Anxious. Sometimes, I feel like I do/say things and then I look back at them and think, "Oh gosh, I didn't handle that very well." "I should've worded that better" (to avoid offending someone or hurting his feelings) "Why was I afraid to be clear?" (ins...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello Family))) Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I myself have been coming to some tough resolutions. I had counseling with the A on Thursday and told him and the counselor that I'm tired of being a victim and have realized how unhealthy I've become. Whether the A is wi...

nmike · nmike

(((((Good morning friends))))) I am truly humble on a day like today. So many died and so many families have suffered a loss. I hope that somewhere in this is the reason my son is in combat overseas. I spent a day with my AHsober. It never goes very well. But even in that I can find things to put on my gratit...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	trusting my decision... (Preview) Hello I'm having a rough night here. I served my A/Cocaine-addicted hubby with divorce papers last week. This week he's been begging for another chance. I just had a conversation with him tonight and said I just can't go through anymore pain and disrespect, and I'm not sure I can ever trust him again. H...	artygirl	7	471	Sep 15, 2006 by maresie
	the martyr stuff (Preview) I have really been trying to work on the martyr issue which is ingrained for me in dealing with the A and others. I feel I was really trained and schooled to be a martyr by my family of origin. I would alternate with the A between being a martyr (I could no give him enough) to railing and raging a...	maresie	3	375	Sep 15, 2006 by maresie
	Is the price to high ??? (Preview) I have to ask myself this.. Is loving an alcoholic worth what you loose ? My husband the alcoholic in my life can be so mean at times.. He calls me names and makes me feel like dirt. Other days he is as nice as he can be. We started counseling as our marriage has fallin apart and we are hanging on by a thread. I...	Tammy	5	540	Sep 15, 2006 by maresie
	what do i do? (Preview) AH has truck in both our names somewhere in AZ. He is going to treatment. No payments have or will be made. Also he got a DUI in Alabama on the way I found out. What do I need to do to CMA? Not sure what my responsiblity is here but I know I'm not paying for a vehicle I don't have.	carolinagirl	4	405	Sep 15, 2006 by Tiger2006
	obsessive compulsive disorder anyone? (Preview) were you officially diagnosed? and what did they do for you?	Barbara	2	450	Sep 15, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Conventions give a much wider choice of topics than weekly meetings (Preview) When attending a weekly meeting we're stuck in either a step or begineer meeting. Sometimes a discussion. But at conventions there is usually a choice of 3 meetings to attend at the same time.	Barbara	2	323	Sep 15, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Brother gone off the rails again (Preview) Dear All, My ex-A was just rubbing it in a few weeks ago how he had seen my alcoholic brother in Ennis and he was looking great , in a suit, and everything. This was meant to minimise to me just how bad this guys problems are. Yet last week my son told me that my brother had cut loose and gone to another brothe...	maire rua	2	339	Sep 15, 2006 by maresie
	Quick thought for today- boost your self esteem (Preview) I got the following quip in the mail today. It really fits in with what I have been struggling with lately... self-esteem. *We are better than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less. -- Anonymous We are wonderful...*	sandie123	1	329	Sep 15, 2006 by smpoli
	tidy house (Preview) Hi everyone, When I was growing up my mother cleaned up after and enabled my Afather so much that even as a child I couldn't understand it. She was and still is completely codependant in his shadow for a lifetime. I remember at a young age vowing to myself that I would never end up like that. Yet here...	annmarie	7	435	Sep 15, 2006 by maresie
	All Hell Has Broken Loose (Preview) Hi all, Well since A went back to drinking earlier this week all hell has broken loose. He had been sober for 7 weeks but had just shut himself in the house and avoided all outside contact in order to do it. Now all his looser friends are back. He has been in the woods cutting firewood...	lebe27	6	553	Sep 15, 2006 by lin0606
	Trying to switch my priorities (Preview) I have been in a very low mood for the past several weeks...well actually it seems for my whole life. I have never thought of myself as being depressed. I had always thought that I felt the way I do because of circumstances in my life. I am now starting to think differently. As a child I remember my mom b...	Gailey	3	498	Sep 15, 2006 by TLC2
	Blessed (Preview) (((friends))) My husband e-mailed me this song this morning and I sat here and cried through it. Believe it or not, it's uplifting..lol Thought I'd share some happy stuff, we all need that!! :) *sigh, 15 more days till he comes home for visit but his daughter is getting married so we have to travel. I don...	Christy	5	375	Sep 15, 2006 by sld488
	Why am I mad and lonely? (Preview) Well he has been missing for about a week and I haven't really thought about it much just every now and again wondering if he's ok and then today I listen to a message from his mother saying that a guy from AA in Arizona called her to say he's ok and getting into rehab on Saturday. Now I found that I was E...	carolinagirl	7	482	Sep 14, 2006 by maresie2
	codependency codyness epidemic (Preview) Oh boy oh boy I am on overload with the subject of "codyness". A family member other than myself raised cody, acoa, seems is trying to pass on codependence to everyone else too. Is that possible? Is this a family disease right along with alcoholism? Not to imply that I myself...	peewee	4	500	Sep 14, 2006 by maresie2
	Has any one read 7 weeks to sobriety? (Preview) Just wanted to know if anyone read this book and tried the plan? Thanks	kingston	3	492	Sep 14, 2006 by Becky1
	guidance on approaching step 4? (Preview) Dear all-- I'm working the steps largely on my own, as the city where I live has a tiny, tiny Al-Anon group and I am without a sponsor. I get some good guidance from AA colleagues, but wanted to turn to this group with a question about doing a self-inventory as part of step 4, which is where I am now....	faraway06	5	479	Sep 14, 2006 by peewee
	Megan...that is a new one!!! (Preview) I have heard it said that alanon is a million dollar program shoved up your butt a nickel at a time. I could not help but laugh at that saying. I have never heard that before. I think I will have to remember that. Thanks...Gail -- Edited by Gailey at 09:40, 2006-09-14	Gailey	2	476	Sep 14, 2006 by megan
	Beating myself up, need to vent (Preview) Ok....why do I feel so strange right now. My ex bf is in jail again....contempt of dui court. He has been sober for a while, so I hear, not sure what happened. I had been thinking of his mom for several days, she and I were close when he and I were together. I occasionally see her in Al Anon and we al...	beachbaby	4	514	Sep 14, 2006 by Gailey
	I need some help! (Preview) Ok, my A has been drinking at home the last month or so, only on Friday nights, and another couple come up and the husbands sit around and drink, and me and his friends wife, may have a few, but we just sit around and talk. Well this past Friday night, it was getting late, so our friends wife went in and went to...	lilleah	7	437	Sep 14, 2006 by Diva
	drugs (Preview) i went into the chat room om 12/09/06 and there was a discussion about an active A and methodone and drugs should this be talked about on the main chat room or should it have been a private chat as any new al-anon member coming in would be confused. I do have sympathy as i have active drug abuse in my family bu...	scotia	3	402	Sep 14, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Up and down - leave or not? (Preview) ((( Good morning everyone)))) I am in such a shellshock mode the last few weeks. I am strong one day and horribly anxious the next. AH is totally lying about this "friendship" he has been having since earlier this year, and of course I am checking the phone bill everyday. She call...	hersh	10	554	Sep 14, 2006 by nmike
	ME (Preview) Nov I will be in Alanon for two years. At this present time in my life I feel very distance from Alanon. Which is not good. I can't get my self together to work my steps or even go to face to face meetings. My private computer has been down since aug 19 and I haven't been able to get on the internet at night like i...	nycbt	13	596	Sep 14, 2006 by nycbt
	Pity vs love (Preview) (((Hello MIP Family)) I was working on this question as part of my step work and thought I'd share some of my discoveries. The definition of pity is a feeling of empathy and sorrow for the misfortune's of other. To feel for someone, show compassion to someone, and take mercy on them. T...	twinmom2	5	10676	Sep 14, 2006 by d53sjurne
	thankful for HP! (Preview) Finally, I just prayed the serenity prayer....... instead of applying the words or trying to make them fit into the situation the way I wanted them to I just prayed!   ...	sld488	1	382	Sep 13, 2006 by irish54
	Start Today (An old story revisited) (Preview) The Daffodil Principle Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday," I promised a little reluctantly on her third call. ...	kismetstrand	7	598	Sep 13, 2006 by nigel3
	How on earth do you edit a post? (Preview) I have read many times or have seen where someone has edited or deleted one of their posts. How does one go about doing this??? I am not the most technologically advanced person but didn't think up until now that I was a complete moron. I have searched and searched this site and cannot fig...	lilms	1	304	Sep 13, 2006 by sld488
	Grown Man (Preview) The other day A and I were in conflict again. He said to me that he is a grown man and will do whatever he wants. That kind of statement for me indicates he has no respect for the relationship or me and it is time to move on. Any one experience this kind of behavior. I a...	LadyLibra	5	368	Sep 13, 2006 by LadyLibra
	Texas Adventure (Preview) Well my lovelies, as you all know I visited the land of cowboys and cactus this last weekend. I did my best to be bring my Al-Anon with me and I wanted to share what I learned about myself. I like doing a continuous tenth step around my recovery. I haven't made a post on this board in a long time. So here goes: 1...	bob6502	4	433	Sep 13, 2006 by Faith73
	Repeating the pattern? (Preview) Sorry. Deleted my post. This was probably one of those questions I needed to figure out on my own. -- Edited by findingmyway at 19:40, 2006-09-13	findingmyway	0	344	Sep 13, 2006 by findingmyway
	update (Preview) My A is doing great!!!!! Today is aweek he has been wihtour a drink. I know that isn't long BUT it is a start!!!!! I have learned a lot in a little amount of time. I am doing something for me!!!!! I am going to go back to college and get my masters degree. My A is very proud of me and thinks it is a good ide...	marks girl	1	335	Sep 13, 2006 by Karilynn
	horrible end to great weekend (Preview) hi guys well...where do i start..... the last few weeks i have been taking a step back from my ex boyf. the "A". he text me to tell me he had moved on, i said good. he asked was i around for the weekend.. i said NO i was going away with the girls for a break. he said FINE. i headed off with the girls up the c...	Rebecca	10	563	Sep 13, 2006 by Becky1
	Quotes that touch me........... (Preview) "The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present" Barbara De Angelis "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." Anna Quindlen thank you for sharing...	frog58	1	412	Sep 13, 2006 by DoN4me
	self worth and self esteem (Preview) I could use some ESH on self-worth and self-esteem... 2 areas I am definatel lacking. I understand how important they are to my growth. I am reminded regularly from program members how I am a worthwhile person and am loved. I guess it's a good thing I hear that from ohters cause I don't beleive them enoug...	sandie123	6	427	Sep 13, 2006 by faraway06
	Making amends vs. having no boundaries...? (Preview) Dear friends: Just joined this group a few nights ago and am so grateful for the community. Thank you all for your wisdom, hope and strength. The situation with the A in my life now is challenging, but I'm feeling centered and grounded these days so I thought I'd take a moment to continue to seek othe...	faraway06	4	491	Sep 13, 2006 by faraway06
	Stuggling with my son (Preview) It is just my son and me in the house. My A has been gone almost 11 months and my daugther just left for college. We live on just under 10 acres... on a "farm" which is gradually falling down before my eyes. My son and I are trying to get caught up on some of the things around the house which have been neglected f...	sandie123	5	472	Sep 13, 2006 by MsgBo
	MIP family members here in San Antonio. (Preview) Several of us got together here in San Antonio. Most everyone spent the week enjoying one another's company, but I had lunch with the group on Sunday. The restaurant where we chose to meet was closed, so we piled in our vehicles and went elsewhere. Had a great Tex-Mex lunch at "Mi Tierra," which is renow...	Diva	3	456	Sep 13, 2006 by Rita G
	Much needed prayers please (Preview) Hi ((((((((((((Family)))))))))) Today I’m asking for your prayers. I have to go in for a biopsy and I am letting the fear of the unknown get to me. I am scared to death. I have to see the surgeon on Friday and I’m praying that they surgery will be scheduled very soon so I know just what I might be up a...	shadow1	13	594	Sep 13, 2006 by notsonew1111
	Back and forth between Self Righteous and Guilt (Preview) Hello my fellow Alanoners. I am struggling a little tonight. I am in a relationship with someone in there first 30 days (she at one time had three years not that long ago) Any way she is living with me and she has a 9 year old daughter. I have been doing everything thing. As far as keeping the home and taking c...	moto	4	633	Sep 13, 2006 by moto
	FINDING MYSELF AT LAST (Preview) HI ALL FELLOW MEMBERS I JUST WANTED TO SAY A BIG, BIG, THANK YOU TO YOU ALL. I HAVE BEEN IN AL-ANON LESS THAN A YEAR, BEEN IN HERE ABOUT FOUR MONTHS. I AM JUST BEGINING TO LET GO OF WHO I THOUGHT I WAS. NOW I KNOW THAT PERSON WAS NOT ME. THAT PERSON WAS A THE CHILD WITHIN ME, I AM GROWING UNDER THE INFLUENC...	ally02	1	372	Sep 13, 2006 by shadow1
	This Stuff Really Works (Preview) Hey all! Just got back from our anniversary trip last night about 6pm. We had a fantastic time, went to Put-In-Bay, rode the ferry over to South Bass Island. We had neither one been there, and didn't even know anything about what we would find. It was great, the weather was ov...	Becky1	5	571	Sep 13, 2006 by Lexie
	i'm soooo tired (Preview) Today I've found myself falling deep deep into a self pity chasm and I can't seem to crawl out of it. Withing the past few years I've lost my mother, my bro in law, my sister to suicide, my son to prison, other son to mental illness, and now my daughter wants nothing to do with me since her hsuband died.&nb...	irish54	4	422	Sep 13, 2006 by Karilynn
	is feeling like I can go out and do things myself part of the recovery? (Preview) A year ago I was a mess. Ended up at the docs office where they tried putting me on Zoloft, started back at AlAnon (it had been several years), joined a new gym and a new Church. Husband had just had his left kidney removed due to cancer (he's doing fine now - its been a year). I kept telling myself it was due to...	Barbara	6	482	Sep 13, 2006 by nmike
	Heart to Heart Retreat (Preview) I got home a couple hours ago from the most awesome 12 step recovery, women only retreat. This was my first year to go and I am so pumped up I don't think I'll come down any day soon. I learned so much about myself, my inner feelings, how to work my steps even further than I have worked them to dat...	Mobirdie	7	4587	Sep 13, 2006 by Karilynn
	" I love you enough to............. " Poem Thanks to Cilla (Preview) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~	hmrnrnmm	1	5443	Sep 13, 2006 by smpoli
	Battle lines almost drawn (Preview) A few days ago I posted about my bf's daughter, her decision to move back with her biological mother, and now wants to come back. Last night I got a call from the bio mom. She informed me she had called the local authorities to come pick up the daughter to remove her from the home. She had told me how the dau...	sld488	3	456	Sep 12, 2006 by lin0606
	doing something for someone less fortunate (Preview) In alanon it is suggested that we all do something for someone and not tell them. Michael's Craft Stores (in USA) are running their afghans for charity program again. All they ask participants to do is knit or crochet a rectangles 7" by 9" and drop them off at a Michael's craft store and the...	frog58	3	444	Sep 12, 2006 by peewee
	Our Anniversary (Preview) Well, everything was great, and now we are on an impromptu trip (left Sat. morning) in upper Ohio, headed for LAKE ERIE!!! We had dinner at the winery, went home, went to bed Fri, got up Sat and took off on the motorcycle and went thru and Indian Cave yesterday, stayed all night at a hotel in Bellevu...	Becky1	9	485	Sep 12, 2006 by Becky1
	QUESTION? DO YOU REALIZE THAT LIFE IS NOT BALCK AND WHITE OR GOOD AND BAD, BUT RATHER SOMEWHERE INBETWEEN? (Preview) For years I believed that things should be a certain way, period! There was a right way and a wrong way! I assumed my way of thinking was the right way. Dealing with active alcoholism distorts our way of thinking rationally, and in my case I began trying to control the drinker, his wa...	gardengal	2	396	Sep 12, 2006 by Christy
	life is running smoothly - do i need alanon (Preview) A year has gone by since my husband had his left kidney out due to cancer. He's busy at work, attending union meetings, told his drinking buddy he needs a few months by himself since he's busy w/work. Our son turned 14 and doesnt want his mother to fill up all his free time (Hey I was lucky to have his compani...	Barbara	10	668	Sep 12, 2006 by Becky1
	In remembrance (Preview) A day shall come when shall not hold these hands, nor "see" these dear familiar faces, Therefore, let us cheerish our Loved ones NOW, ...while there is time, and hold them close and treat them with all great tenderness. For soon, ... so soon we must part, ...and we shall not "find" them a...	Karilynn	6	475	Sep 12, 2006 by Becky1
	Things that finally needed to be said (Preview) I have a long history with my son's father an A. 18 years, we have had alot of problems lately in reguards to our son. I haven't really talked to him since I joined recovery. But my son had made a decission I had to respect his thoughts and opinions as he is growing in being a teenager. He wanted to go stay with...	DoN4me	1	382	Sep 12, 2006 by rtexas
	Keeping the Focus on Me! (Preview) Learning to keep the focus on me has been the hardest thing for me to accomplish. Being a mother of five, the sister of 6, the daughter of Daniel and Barbara and the wife of George.... I was totally lost at who I was, who I was suppose to be and what it was that I truly wanted for myself.... My father w...	WolfSong	2	543	Sep 12, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Thanks for all your support (Preview) I just want to thank everyone for their support, especially Jerry F for reminding me that I choose my consequences. I put a collect call block on the phone and haven't heard from him again. I wonder here and there about what's going on. He helped me move in so he could theoretically s...	carolinagirl	1	332	Sep 12, 2006 by Tiger2006
	guilt, anxiety....help? (Preview) I really need some help. I am feeling a lot of guilt and anxiety and so unclear which direction to go. I am engaged but wondering should I marry my A? He doesn't drink but just had a relapse. We were stuck in a terrible obessive cycle just before the relapse. We've broken that cy...	twinkie	6	512	Sep 12, 2006 by babysteps
	Update (Preview) Hi (((Everyone))), Just wanted to say hi and let you know what's up with me. This summer has been a whirlwind as I have been making 3 or 4 ftf meetings a week even in the TX heat with no a/c in my car! I have been proud of myself that I (gasp - are you sititng down for this one) - I ASKED FOR HELP.&n...	cedarpines	6	337	Sep 11, 2006 by cedarpines
	should I marry this guy? (Preview) Hi, I'm SO grateful for the Al-Anon program, it has helped me SO much in the 8 months I've been coming to meetings! I've started working the steps and have a sponsor, and I love love LOVE this program! My question is about making major life decisions -- in particular, whether to marry my boyfr...	AllyNon	16	642	Sep 11, 2006 by AllyNon
	to hmrnrnmm & Agoraphobia (Preview) This is the Hero of the dysfunctional family/alcoholic family. I read another post hmrnrnmm had and wanted to share why those who experience this in the adult years. People who develop panic attacks were often denied their childhoods. Yes, they were children. But often, they were require...	kissers	0	462	Sep 11, 2006 by kissers
	44 going on 13 (Preview) HI all, Feeling kinda weird... nervous. Anxious. Sometimes, I feel like I do/say things and then I look back at them and think, "Oh gosh, I didn't handle that very well." "I should've worded that better" (to avoid offending someone or hurting his feelings) "Why was I afraid to be clear?" (ins...	itsgot2bgd	6	595	Sep 11, 2006 by itsgot2bgd
	Coming to some tough realizations. (Preview) (((Hello Family))) Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I myself have been coming to some tough resolutions. I had counseling with the A on Thursday and told him and the counselor that I'm tired of being a victim and have realized how unhealthy I've become. Whether the A is wi...	twinmom2	4	476	Sep 11, 2006 by Rita G
	Humble .... (Preview) (((((Good morning friends))))) I am truly humble on a day like today. So many died and so many families have suffered a loss. I hope that somewhere in this is the reason my son is in combat overseas. I spent a day with my AHsober. It never goes very well. But even in that I can find things to put on my gratit...	nmike	2	453	Sep 11, 2006 by Rita G
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.