guidance on approaching step 4? - Al-Anon Family Group

faraway06 · Member

guidance on approaching step 4?

Rita G · ~*Service Worker*~

As I was preparing to do Step 4, I was sure I would never be able to do it - "a fearless and moral inventory" - there was nothing fearless about me - I was totally consumed with fear.

I attended my f2f meeting and it happened to be on Step 4. A member shared that Step 4 inventory was like a grocery store taking inventory - the manager isn't scared about how many bottles of ketchup he has - he just needs to know what he has so he knows what to work with.

So as I worked thru Step 4, all the emotions & feeling that came with it (guilt, fear, pain sorrow, etc), it was easier to just feel them and let them be - knowing that my HP & I needed to know what I had in me so we knew what we had to work with - about half way thru I was tempted to quit - just overwhelmed with the guilt, but my sponsor urged me to keep on One Page at a Time.

I made it thru - Did the 5th Step with her & it was much better - Someone told me it is not so important How you do the 4th step as it is important that you just DO the 4th Step -

So Hang in there - reach out for help here if you need it -

Good luck & God Bless,

Rita

carolinagirl · ~*Service Worker*~

You know I am reading the Dr. Phil book (the title escapes me) something about making choices. Anyway it has a very in depth self inventory tool with where you are and where you want to be and what it takes to get there. I have found that to be very motivational and helpful for me. It's to the point and makes you take responsibility for your part in whatever the issue is and trying to find out what your payoff is so you can change the behavior.

Tiger2006 · ~*Service Worker*~

Firstly, I would ask one of the persons in AA that you like to work the steps with you. If you feel brave enough to work step four, have one of the AAs sit down with you and make sure you have a firm hold on the first three steps. Theres an old slogan that says "They who sponsor themselves have a fool for a sponsor." Our best thinking and solutions did not lead to serenity.

Secondly, ALL of our steps require deep and rigourous honesty, not just the 4th. It is only that the 4th spells out that we need to take special care to be extra vigilant to leave no stone unturned and to examine each question of a deep and searching nature--"make a federal case" if you will. Those who do a through 4th and 5th will reap a life time of rewards.

Keep coming back and remember, first things first.

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi faraway,

I found this on the internet last year and saved it. I think it's very helpful.
Step 4 guide

Christy

peewee · Senior Member

wow christy, that is fantastic. thanks for sharing.

pw

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