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Hi everyone. Thought I would update y'all a little on the situation with my daughter and grandaughter who lost their father/husband this summer.
Friday I received an email from my grandaughter who said she missed us very much and that her mom had a new "friend". she said she didn't like "him" at all and her mom was rarely at home. She asked once I read that to please call her mom and ask her what her problem was.
Well, I was sort of taken back by the email and thought and prayed before I responded. I knew there was no way I could call my daughter and "ask her what her problem was." lol
So, I did call and my grandaughter answered the phone. (her mom wasn't home) I just listened to her tell about the situation. then she also told me "on the good side, I am in counseling at school; and it's also family counseling so sometimes Mom comes too." I was so glad to hear that. She told me it was helping. I let her know I am so glad she contacted me and I love her very much. She called me again this weekend too.
In so much of this I haven't known for sure what to do. My daughter still is not answering my phone calls so I've stopped making them. I remember reading in our literature that when we don't know what to do, sometimes it's best to do nothing. Well, that';s what I'm doing I guess, and I believe my HP is working things out.
I may not agree ( ahem ) with the methods, but soooo much easier on myself when I don't feel the burden I've so often put on my own shoulders to "fix" things.
I'm not where I want to be, but thank God, I'm not where I used to be!!!
((Irish)) Oh, honey. SO PROUD OF YOU!!! Also, SO PROUD OF YOUR GRANDAUGHTER! Look at her go! Just got up and went to counceling on her own. Please, DO keep us updated. That your daughter is "dating" again tells me she's in terrible, terrible pain and she's trying to medicate it--and knows it's not working. Please know you're in my heart.
Sometimes it's so hard just to do nothing...just to trust. But it seems you've managed to master this quite well. What a comfort it must be to your grand daughter for her to know that she can come to you, and she can feel understood. You daughter has her own pain and maybe anger, and I'm sure will find her own way in the end.
I think you're wise indeed to trust inHP, and take his guidance. Keep strong AM
I haven't "mastered" anything .... just trying to take one day at a time here.
I do feel so much compassion for my daughter. I agree that the fact she is dating again so soon is a reflection of her self esteem. Unfortunately I was once there when I had been married to her father myself. I didn't lose him to death, but I had lost him to alcohol and drugs. I had lioved 19 years believing that I didn't deserve better and that's just the way it was. I had "made my bed". After our divorce (death of a marriage) I too was grieving and felt i "needed" the compliments and "looks" of other men to make me feel desireable and wanted. I feel like this is part of what she is going through.
She married when she was 17 and pregnant, against my wishes of course. Therefore she is now 32 with no education or work experience. My heart goes out to her because I know she is floundering, but I just have to trust that HP knows jsut where she's at and will eventually guide her to Him.
I too am so proud of my grandaughter!!!!! I'm so glad she knew where to go for help and that she knows I'm here for her.
I'm sure the road will be bumpy, and have some twists and turns, but isn't all of life that way???
) with the methods, but soooo much easier on myself when I don't feel the burden I've so often put on my own shoulders to "fix" things. 
((Irish)) Oh, honey. SO PROUD OF YOU!!! Also, SO PROUD OF YOUR GRANDAUGHTER! Look at her go! Just got up and went to counceling on her own.