The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have noticed since I have started the program. I have been full of all kinds of emotions. I express myself alot more. I say what I mean blunt and to the point. I never used to talk this way. I would always find a nice way to put things to afraid of offending someone somewhere. I just always looked at it as beening considerate. But alot of those times is when I let people take advantage of me and my good nature. But also now I do get upset alot more too I have lots emotions something I haven't delt with for a very long time. Somedays it is almost over whelming. Earlier today was one of those instances I got upset at the way I was being treated and almost left my Job. I would have never of even considered it until now. But I talked to my boss and she understood and some of my points and I saw some of her points. I know my HP has a plan, just didn't expect to stand up for myself at work today. The thing is they want me here at my job, they are like my extended family. I do love what I do always have. But I guess I am learning to stand up for myself and not be taken advantage of as well. I was so worried about everything I forgot my needs are important. What a wonderful journey I am on.
Oh, and what a journey we are on Do! The scenery is not always what we would maybe like it to be, but there is beauty just around the bend!
I have been in the program since Jan. 1, and I find myself, too, becoming much more vocal about my feelings. I was on antidepressants from the end of Sept. last year, until a couple of months ago. Once I went off the meds, and got a lot of program in me, I find I am able to speak up for myself a whole lot more. I sometimes see a look of shock on my A's face when I do, and it is priceless. Last night, he drank his beer, then drank a wine cooler that was left in the fridge from a while back that I had bought to take to a party. He doesn't even like wine coolers, or wine, for that matter. I looked at him, and said "Can't you ever stop!?!??!", not mean or nasty, or anything, just exasperated. It just came out. Now, I know it probably wasn't the right thing to say, according to Al-Anon, but I guess it was how I was feeling right then. He didn't even get mad, just looked really shocked.
Glad you are here on this journey with me. We will see some amazing sights together! Keep up the good work, sounds like you are doing well taking care of your needs now. I, too, forgot all about my needs and wants, but it's all coming back to me now. Hang on!
I have heard that all those emotions are a part of recovery. We aren't in denial anymore. So we are present for whatever life has in store for us. It is difficult at times but we have to view this as a sign of progress. We just need to develop better boundaries so that the emotions don't overtake us.
Thanks for all those that posted. Just wanted to share an experience with this topic and my HP.
Mentioned getting frustrated yesterday at work really bad. Guess my HP put the right words in my mouth and the help of the program when I stood up for myself, and let them know I wasn't going to be taken advantage of anymore. Today a few hours ago. I got a promotion, new job is closer to home. More convient, better pay. I was in shock when they first offered it to me. I started crying I was so overjoyed she told me stop that or I will cry too. Just another way my HP is working in my life never saw this one coming. I thought when I came in brand new day new beginning. Then bam. Wow, THANKS HP!!!
Now, I know it probably wasn't the right thing to say, according to Al-Anon, but I guess it was how I was feeling right then. He didn't even get mad, just looked really shocked.
