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since a few are from NJ, Al-anon Unity day in NJ
(Preview)
Unity day, September 15th in NJ is a day where members of Al-anon join together acrossed NJ at multiple meeting sites and have the same meeting, with the same topics, at the same time. I plan on being at the district 1 meeting barring a soccer game, LOL Unity Day Revisited Agenda 9:30am Registration 10:...
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bobump
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0
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645
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LANI HAS BEEN BANNED:))
(Preview)
If anyone of my Al-Anon OP's can recitify this, I would appreciate it. I was in and then went back a little later and was found myself banned. I know you don't really mean it. Love, Lani
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Lani
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2
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570
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Sending healing prayers
(Preview)
(((((((((((((nmike))))))))))))))) I don't know when you will be on again, but wanted to send you healing prayers that your shoulder surgery goes well. Hope the recovery isn't too uncomfortable and that you get all the care and support you need. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take good care. Y...
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Leetle
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3
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420
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My waffling has stopped
(Preview)
Ever since I found out about my AH's drug problem almost 2 years ago, I have waffled on what to do. Do I stay or do I go? I worked up my "Plan B" right from the start, which was divorce. And I steadily worked towards that goal. With each step I took towards that goal, I would get sick to my stomac...
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QOD
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7
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559
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Ten Guidelines From God
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Quite Worrying:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing
that comes your way?
Put It On The List:
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the...
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Peggy7
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2
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495
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To Gailey
(Preview)
Hi Gailey: I'm so sorry about your AS but I'm glad I found someone who can relate to me and me to them. I love my ftf meetings, but mostly it's dealing with alcoholic spouses. See, my son is different. I KNOW he would drink and drive with his kids. He's an addict who can't wait for his next fix. A little histor...
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sonja ja
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0
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432
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Feeling Down
(Preview)
Hello everyone! Hope your all doing fine. Today is my 10th wedding anniversary to my "A" hubby and I am feeling down. He has forgotten again for four years now. Every year he forgets I feel like crap. He is sober today, so I thought maybe this year he would remember seems as tho he's not drinkin...
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albertarose
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5
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556
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Oh it isn't fun to fight
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I posted a few days ago about how well we were doing. I know any marriage normal or otherwise has ups and downs...well we hit a really big down tonight. Background info...I am 10 weeks pregnant and have been having complications with the pregnancy. So...stress there is in my life. yeah. But this last w...
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lil_pieces
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5
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634
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And the verdict is.......
(Preview)
hmm don't know how that happened. -- Edited by carolinagirl at 16:09, 2007-08-16
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carolinagirl
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0
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381
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One dog down one more to go.
(Preview)
one dog was delivered to me last night. She is so relieved I can see it in her. I had a friend help me move quite a bit of stuff last night. Now I face another big night of moving furniture (I really have very very little). The plan is to have the other dog arrive next week. I am hoping that he will not take her bac...
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maresie2
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4
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472
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Fearful
(Preview)
My A husband recently went on a 2 day drinking binge. Lucky for me he did it at home and didnt sleep for 2 days. He kept me up and wanted to argue about all the things I had done to him. I really did try and not engage him, but I guess we all have a boiling point. I threw his bourbon and coke on him. I enjoyed th...
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BrandyCane
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8
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522
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Depressed
(Preview)
So as you may know, my sober A addict BF moved out 6 weeks ago now.....his stuff was in the basement until 1 1/2 weeks ago.....I have asked him not to call and he is "gone" . It is so good to have peace in my home and in my soul again....peace for my kids....we are so much better off.
But in this abs...
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Fifi
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6
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463
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Good News!
(Preview)
I took off early yesterday and went out to look at a few prospects in the area I want to move and I found a really great condo for a great price about 1 minute from the beach! I am very excited about it and the realtor even said that he might be able to get me in before school starts. I will hear today! Everyo...
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carolinagirl
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10
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578
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GIRLFRIENDS
(Preview)
Girlfriend. THere the ones that you tell every thing too. I have know lots of different type of girlfriends. I know have the girlfriends I have here online who I love to death that know my every sercet. There are the girlfriends at work who you know and trust alot of them. There are also there are girlfrie...
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nycbt
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1
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518
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Loved one is BiPolar and an Alcoholic
(Preview)
Has anyone here been admitted to inpatient rehab, or a loved one for dual diagnosis? How effective is inpatient rehabilitation? My fiance is court-mandated to go to his alcohol/drug program. He has been non-compliant recently, and he even missed a blood test. His counselor is going to write up a b...
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mentallyill
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5
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775
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self esteem/self worth
(Preview)
We used to run people down all the time. We realize now that it was because we wanted unconsciously to build ourselves up. We were envious of people who lived normal lives. We couldn't understand why we couldn't be like them. And so we ran them down. We were always looking for faults in the other person. W...
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Tiger2006
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3
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455
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Introducing myself
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Hello Everyone. My name is sonja and I'm new to this site. Not to Al-Anon though. I've been a grateful member for a couple of years now and sometimes I think my progress is just soooo slow. My qualifier is my son. He's 34 years old and has lost everything time and again. I was the worst enabler in the world un...
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sonja ja
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6
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581
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Life just never stops changing
(Preview)
((((((Everyone)))))) Well, just like many others who come to Alanon... I came here to save my life, and if possible, save my marriage. I guess one out of 2 ain't bad. ;) For those who don't know the story, we seperated almost a year ago when I decided that I could no longer live with the active drinking. ...
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rtexas
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16
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727
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Birthday Wishes
(Preview)
Only wanted to wish a member of the family here a very Happy Birthday! Today is Canadianguy aka Toms Birthday I am hoping its a wonderful one for you Tom from someone who is very grateful for all the experience, strength and hope you share! Tracey
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tea2
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16
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569
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Sobriety, the first year!
(Preview)
It's been a whole host of things really, but for the most part it's been a million times better than living with active alcholism in the home. I have been struggling though of late and didn't know how, or if I could write and say I am struggling here, because I don't want to come across as ungreatful when th...
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Katy
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3
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653
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Scuttlebutted
(Preview)
Now the whole issue of when and if I get my dog is up in the air again. I am upset needless to say. I had it all in the works. Meantime I am keeping on keeping on. I packed boxes. I make plans to move. I keep at it. I have plans to have that all organized by the weekend. Then I will have all my time to focus on when and h...
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maresie2
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4
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518
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keep coming back...
(Preview)
Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons. --Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Time teaches us about the twofold connection of suffering and wisdom. For every loss, we've gained something new. We are learning that our pain makes us wise over time, but wh...
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Tiger2006
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1
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517
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Not always here
(Preview)
Hi all I'm not always here as much as I'd like to be. I have recieved a bulk e mail from JohnF asking if I want to remain. I for one find this site absolutely in valuable. I may not come here often but I enjoy recieving e mails from you. It reminds me you are here supporting me. Alanon has become a big part of my li...
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mon123
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4
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479
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so frusterated
(Preview)
Ok so my husband I chatted this morning when he called me from work. He says he knows he has a problem but just not sure how to take care of the problem. He don't want AA or Rehab. He wants to try on his own. Now for 9 years he has tried to quit on his own. It never works!! He's got every excuse as possible (as A's do...
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sgraingermk
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7
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633
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I'm so glad I found this place
(Preview)
Wow! I have been dealing with an A for 10 years. She has totally destoyed herself with this family. At first I didn't know what to do. It started out as probably how alot of A's start out. Then boom, before I knew it, total insanity. She is no longer with me, we are divorced; but oh the damage. I never...
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TheArtOf
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5
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472
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OK. Here's the big question, for me.
(Preview)
Can one ever trust an A? No matter how much recovery they have, they can still slip. I get that. Something can always send them over the edge. But is it reasonable to expect that at some point everything won't? Can an A ever get to a point that they can be trusted to handle most of life's ups and downs without...
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Jen
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15
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1207
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A strange day!
(Preview)
I had a really strange day today. I got a call from the apartment we were supposed to move into and suddenly I don't qualify and I either have to pay more (which I won't do) or go somewhere else. So I scramble, calling around find a few good prospects and then... I get a call earlier this evening from the re...
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carolinagirl
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4
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556
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3 days till I get my big black baby
(Preview)
I have three days till I get my big black baby lab mix. I have barely scratched the surface of my packing. I aske done of my neighbors to help me and said I would pay him. I can't nail him down on when and how. I don't have the money to do anything till tomorrow. So it will all be a great rush for the next few days an...
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maresie2
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3
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501
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Just had a really rotten day and need some help
(Preview)
First I had a message on my machine. I didn't get the job in Indy. The liason was willing to talk about it. She said, "We didn't feel it was a good fit." I didn't feel like a complete douche bag. I felt sad. But I reminded myself of something Dr Welker, chair of education dept, Witt U said to us: &...
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Tiger2006
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5
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546
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VIDEO....DO WE KNOW OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN OURSELVES
(Preview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwoVZS_Blsw&mode=relat...
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ally
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3
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478
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what to tell the children?
(Preview)
On one hand I was glad to get the I'm sorry and I will start today. It'll take a little time to ease off safely, he says and I say, you will need some medicine or medical assistance now. He just nods....... very proud, private, non responsive and functioning A. BUT then I wonder..... start what? Cutting...
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ddub
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6
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650
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What do I expect in the divorce?
(Preview)
The final papers have been sent in to the attorney this morning (faxed) so the ball is rolling. Anyone divorce an alcoholic who thinks he's done nothing wrong? What should I expect? Any advice about the kids? I'm going to not get them involved in adult problems. I am going to ask for supervised visitati...
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Friendofyours
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11
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870
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Looking in from the outside.
(Preview)
What are your feelings on someone who stays with an alcoholic even though they have no ties? Do you think the sickness has taken them and they just don't see what they are doing? How long do you try to help these people? How would you nicely tell them what they are doing? You can post it here or pm me with advi...
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Friendofyours
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12
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629
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Coming back
(Preview)
I have now been in the room more and found the spirt back that I have lost. I have alot of thing to tell you. So here it goes. The first the is likie I told you that I have been feeling good that I have been spening alot time in the MIP room and helping people like I just too. I haven't been to a face to face I am not re...
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nycbt
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5
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656
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so many questions....Here's another
(Preview)
Ok so For those who have not read my 1st post...I have a alcoholic husband. I also have two small children. An 8 and 6 year old. My husband has never til yesterday drank and drove with my daughter in the car. He says he only had a couple BUT I DON"T CARE . That is unacceptable. I have decided not to allo...
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sgraingermk
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6
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596
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He said he would push me away (8 yrs ago) He was right.
(Preview)
I hear about alcohol logic though I don't quite understand it. I don't see how you can say you love your kids and then emotionally hurt them. How can you be so mad at your wife over something you construed in your own head to not see your children?? How can you call your wife every name in the book after she ha...
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Friendofyours
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11
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615
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Dejavu
(Preview)
So now I am going through the same saga as Kim went through the other day. Oh how I didn't tell the people he is living with he had a felony hit and run. Em how am I supposed to tell them something I don't know. How I am responsible for everything. Well he's 48 is he a child.
For once I put it back right on him.
...
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maresie2
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3
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386
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Giving Up
(Preview)
I have decided to give up on the school goals that I had for myself. I was taking prerequisites to apply to a pa program which would require me to take full time online classes in addition to working and then if accepted quit working for two years to go to school and live on loans. I just found out that the s...
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carolinagirl
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8
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628
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New here..not new to all this.
(Preview)
I used to come to this message board alot....but haven't been here in quite awhile. A little history...my A is recovering 18 years now and he, for once, isn't my "issue". He actually has been quite an asset to this challenge I've come upon. I have a new job. I've been there for about 5 week...
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azbax
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2
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459
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Been away....thought I'd come in and talk about it....
(Preview)
Hello everyone, Even though my ex-A and I are no longer together, and have not been a couple for some time, I realize I still have to deal with the wreckage of my past. I also realize I must deal with what is right in front of me as well. Someone I knew a long time ago told me in her own words, "Everytime I...
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hippietrippiechick
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3
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340
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Thanks for the caring and concern
(Preview)
Hello Friends, Thank you all for the wonderful words of compassion and love I have felt thru my post reguarding the death of my husband.. Things are very tough to deal with right now....time heals....I am just taking it slow trying to heal and heal as a family as well.... So many what ifs, however I know...
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Andrea12
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4
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529
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Interesting stuff
(Preview)
Hi everybody firstly i would like to thank all for the prayers that have been said for my brother who is stable and making progress thank god!!!!!!!! secondly i would like to ask what is a senior member of alanon - is it a person who is of a certain age group ie over 65 like a pensioner - or is it a person who is h...
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lilac1
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2
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366
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Back to the A (vent, long)
(Preview)
He was here for the kids for 2 days, called for 2 days and then nothing. He told me Sat. that they can call him. They are children 12,8 and 4 who have and are suffering a huge loss. This is a crisis. He is their father. HE LIVES 2 BLOCKS AWAY AND WORKS 2 BLOCKS AWAY. Why the hell should it be their responsibilit...
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serendipity
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4
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611
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going to jail this time
(Preview)
those of you who know my long saga with the A know that a huge component of it is his reckless driving. Some of that I belive to be under the influence.
In May just after I left him and he was esconsced with a homeless couple he did drugs day and night with he had an accident (nothing new there). He left the sc...
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maresie2
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8
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645
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Need encouragement...and need to unload..
(Preview)
Hi all, First time I've started a topic, so here goes: The A exbf (now friend), who lived with me until a month ago, moved back to the house we used to live in together, about 3 minutes down the road from me. Problem is, between the alcoholism and the as-yet undiagnosed mental illness (feel strongly that...
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mhgal
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6
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572
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so what is love?
(Preview)
I just replied to gardengal's post (two below this) re: taking care of yourself first and I thought taking care of others was how I showed I loved them. AND how others loved me..... I agree with gardengal now and am learning how to care for myself in baby steps but then what really is love? My best gue...
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ddub
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4
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767
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Do i enjoy pain? ** Update
(Preview)
Yes, she did TRY to go stripping.... it only yeilded her 4 dollars, and a lifetime of humiliation. I went to check on her at her house, and she told me that she was getting sober (yet again) and going to try once more. I want to believe her soo badly, and i want to take her to meetings every day, and i want to ca...
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roger12dodger
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1
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490
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Its all your fault!
(Preview)
For years I swallowed the its all your fault stuff from the A. I swallowed it and swallowed it and swallowed it. He blamed me for everything. Today he says that is the reason he doesn't have any money. Its all me. Its not that he didn't pay the rent, its my fault. Its not that he had every drug addict in town st...
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maresie2
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8
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649
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Confused
(Preview)
Hi, I met someone a few months ago and we started seeing each other and developing a relationship. We got on very well and had great fun, he did the odd thing which made we wonder if he had an alcohol problem but we never spoke about it. Eventually things came to a head and he told me he had a serious problem an...
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phillipslouise
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5
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583
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I'd rather be surfing....
(Preview)
Just for today I know I cannot make all my problems go away but I can push them to the side in my mind and think about other pleasant fun things I'd rather be doing like: ~Playing hookie from work and lounging by the pool ~Taking the kids to the beach and eating ice cream in the sand ~Curling up on my sofa with p...
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twinmom2
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5
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619
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struggling
(Preview)
Grateful for the replies re: my boyfriend's death. I have not been able to check into face to face meeting because of baby/no sitter. I know there are different stages of grief, but this does not seem real. Again, he had not drank but was smoking pot CONSTANTLY and taking klonopin-5 a day. IS IT TR...
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klm4446
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4
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582
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I'm new to this
(Preview)
Hello everyone. My name is Silvana and my husband is an alcoholic. Unfortunately he don't thinks so. :( I'm going crazy over here and Can't take it anymore. My husband Really is a wonderful person and a wonderful father to our 2 small children. He get's mad when I threaten to leave him. He thinks there a...
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sgraingermk
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5
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633
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Please, some ES&H
(Preview)
My A that had everyone thinking he had 9 mos. sober is not. I made him leave last night . I can't think clearly when he is here, and I don't want to be mean to him as I am sooo angry. Now I'm not sure if I should let him back once I calm down or not. I told him before that he will not be allowed to live here if he does dru...
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Jen
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9
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1034
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In the middle of this tradgedy
(Preview)
It is my best friend's daughter who died, it was my mom who was the adult in charge, and it was my 2 little ones in the water with her. I am taking it all very hard today. The investagation continues which is horrifing in itself. A social worker came and talked to me and the kids. The first time I actually lis...
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serendipity
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5
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687
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This & that
(Preview)
I have been working like a dog and I feel the hole not making time for program has made. I try to read daily, but have posted very little lately. On August 9, my AH celebrated one year of sobriety. I went to his meeting with him, and he received his one year chip. I cried the entire meeting. The members th...
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ShelBell
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1
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514
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naivete
(Preview)
i think I am incredibly naive to think that when I said No to the A he would not turn around and blame me for every single problem he has in the world. He is constintinally incapable of being honest about anything. He is also incapable of taking care of anything. He makes a huge mess every single day of the we...
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maresie2
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2
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513
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saying no to an A
(Preview)
all weekend long the A has gone on that I should pay for ever.
I am not paying of course. I am not going to pay anymore for him.
I feel overwhelmed with rage and grief. At the same time I feel relieved to see the insanity.
Mary
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maresie2
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3
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461
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now he has to quit smoking, too
(Preview)
(i'm sorry i haven't replied to advice in my last thread but i am very thankful for it!) my boyfriend (clean & sober 21 years) just went into the ER on Tuesday with severe chest pain and trouble breathing, a CAT scan showed he has a blood clot in his lung. he's been in the ICU since then, they're trying t...
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sadako
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3
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611
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Are you as good to yourself , as you would be to someone you care for?
(Preview)
For years I was bent out of shape and mind to help others, take care of others, try to fix their mistakes, or cover up, or just basically take care of their needs first and foremost. My needs and wants fell onto the backburner. I was going to help them if they liked it or not, because that I thought was my job,...
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gardengal
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4
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543
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adult children
(Preview)
I don't know but I think our generation raised "selfish" kids..... Just my opinion--AND I am talking from my own experience. DH jave 5 adult children between us. As i get older I feel-that perhaps they should "call" us once in awhile to see how we are. --Know it's usually us that...
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meagain
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1
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483
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