I have three days till I get my big black baby lab mix. I have barely scratched the surface of my packing. I aske done of my neighbors to help me and said I would pay him. I can't nail him down on when and how. I don't have the money to do anything till tomorrow. So it will all be a great rush for the next few days and I will no doubt be exhausted. At the same time is a huge tidal relief to be getting at least one of my dogs away from him. I am more and more convinced he'll go to jail. Then I will have to deal with getting the other dog if I can. He may even relent and let me take both dogs which he promised to do long ago. Who knows. I do know he is vicious, unrepeatent and lives, eats sleeps denial.

I have very very little. I have almost no money at all. I will have to pick up another job because I have helped the A so much in recent months I've gone without paying some essential bills. Now the government will be stepping in and keeping a roof over his head. He did that to himself.

I had a long talk with the a's uncle last night. I must say it helped me immensely. I had no idea I would come to like and admire this man who is incredibly honest and caring. My relationship with him has helped me tremendously to learn where I can say I did enough. Enough was of course years ago but there were many many hooks that kept me in there. My pets were and still are huge to me.

So I may not be here for a few days so please don't worry I am busy getting ready for my precious big baby who I love tremendously and who I am longing to walk, cuddle with and care for throughout the weekend and beyond. I am incredibly sad the A is choosing to separate the two dogs but I am not suprised. He cares about nothing, no body, no animal, nothing. That is absolutely obvious to me.

Maresie.