The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
those of you who know my long saga with the A know that a huge component of it is his reckless driving. Some of that I belive to be under the influence.
In May just after I left him and he was esconsced with a homeless couple he did drugs day and night with he had an accident (nothing new there). He left the scene of the accident took off and now he has been arrested for it. The arraignment was July. At that time he also had outstanding speeding tickets. Since then he's managed to pick up another ticket for taking an illegal u turn. Needless to say he has no money to pay any of it.
In my bones I know the A is going to jail. He has several reckless driving convictions. He's lost/supsended his license before.
I know recently when I got the opportunity to get a place that would the dogs everything in me lept to take it. I swithced from thinking I could possibly make it with the A to knowing he was going to jail.
I was wondering if anyone else had had this phenonmenon. No one needs to tell me of the verdict. I know in the 2 months or so after the trial that's he going to be out of action for a year. Maybe he needs a year to think (rather than compulsively feel sorry for himself). His uncle recently who is uncanny in his predictions said he thought he was going to jail. I think the uncle is right.
At the same time I'm incredibly sad for him. There was absolutely no stopping his reckless driving he was out of control on it. He could not stop. He did not stop. There were no consequences for him it was all part of his angst and rage and grief. He let it all out and it destroyed him.
The irony is tha the is alway son and on and on about what he wants to do and his dreams. He is always wanting to be special at the same time he's destroying himself and everything around him.
the addiction disease can ravage the good, decent, the bad, the homeless, the ultra-rich... definately an equal-opportunity killer. my thoughts are with you taking good care of yourself.
with love, always cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
yours sounds a bit like mine...sooo special, centre of attention...love me love me poor me.
If he goes to jail, he will just stop at nothing to find someone to whine to. He will look up old girlfriends and tell warped versions of a loveless relationship and losing his dog and how it drove him crazy and now he must pay. that is what my A would do, has done. He will give his stories to complete strangers to try and gain the attention and love he so craves endlessly. He would get "help" from these women...and sadly there seems to be no end of women out there who are ready to jump to "help out" these guys.
I think jail is exactly where he needs to be. Three meals a day, free room and board. He wont' be on the streets anymore and homeless. Maybe he will have time to think about what he's doing. This whole situation has me utterly confused. Good luck as always.
FOY's right, at least he'll have three hots and a cot. Medical attention, psych attention . . .
I understand waiting for the other shoe to drop. There's nothing you can do but worry yourself to death over it. You're starting out your new life here, you need your energy for you.
I will not be surprised to hear from the sheriff that my A is back in jail, or even in the hospital or dead, he's using meth again so I hear. But you know what, I am not thinking about him near as much. It's out of my hands. It never WAS in my hands, I just believed it was so I could feel like I could help him, or turn him around or something. Even kicking him out, getting a year long RO and a lawsuit to get him off the house title has done NOTHING to stop his desire to keep using. If anything that tells me I'm powerless, so why even think about him at all.
What about you Mary? You're really kicking some butt in your life now. Keep us posted on your new housing and when you get the dog(s). Kim
If you're still into watching the drama; this disease is cunning, powerful and baffling. Keep and open mind without expectations and you might be surprised at how it comes out. I always was and then I let go completely. How it comes out doesn't matter to me only to the alcoholic and that's the way it should be.
It is sad, and painful that people have to live that way. There are times I just want to reach out and shake some of the people in my family, so they will wake up and realize they don't have to live that way....Thank god...He's doing it for you
What makes me sick is that he went on and on and on about the homeless couple who let their dog starve in a wooded area while they smoked crack. They had a great story spun over that. i feel he will do the same.
I was so happy when my A went to jail: 1. I know where he is and he's safe 2. He has a dry place to sleep that doesn't require him sleeping with women to get it and regular meals. 3. He's away from the drugs and alcohol (or so i'd like to think) 4. He has plenty of time to do nothing but think. 5. I have plenty of time and space to do all my thinking without his interference and I don't have to worry when the phone rings or that he'll show up on my doorstep.
This would probably be the best thing that's ever happened to you and maybe him too.
