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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> He said he would push me away (8 yrs ago) He was right.
Post Info TOPIC: He said he would push me away (8 yrs ago) He was right.
Friendofyours


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He said he would push me away (8 yrs ago) He was right.
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I hear about alcohol logic though I don't quite understand it. I don't see how you can say you love your kids and then emotionally hurt them.

How can you be so mad at your wife over something you construed in your own head to not see your children??

How can you call your wife every name in the book after she had three beautiful children for you and even had five miscarriages because you thought another baby would bring us back together.

But yet...you can tell me to go F myself. How do you not have respect for someone who tells you that you are worth something and you have it in you to be something great and that a good person is in there somewhere?

How do you tell this woman that she's a waste of space? Piece of garbage? Stupid B? How do you tell her you love her in one breath but then lie to her in the next?

How do you say you're married when no one see's paystubs but you?

How do you say you're married but the wife has raised the kids all alone?

You have been cared for, catered to, cooked for, your laundry done, your *needs* met, your house repaired, your children watched after.

You have never seen the first tooth, the first steps, school plays, gone to get their shots or physicals, you don't know their favorite colors, favorite games, you're not there when they cry every night for you,

But you say "I LOVE YOU"

What is love to you?

I've seen people screw up their lives but leaving a damn good wife and three smart, beautiful caring children behind for NO good reason.....you must be the dumbest person alive.

Now I am taking matters in my own hands and after eight long years of you treating me like crap LONG DISTANCE.........I am gone for good.

Your tears won't matter because mine didn't, theirs didn't
Your begging won't work, mine didn't, theirs didn't
Your cards and gifts won't work, mine didn't, theirs didn't
Your phone calls won't work, mine didn't, theirs didn't
Your threats won't work, mine didn't.

Of all the heartache you caused.........I hope this rips your heart into millions of pieces because that's payback for all the crying at night they did for you!

God loved his son and all of his children....and I know that when your day comes to meet God face to face you will have to explain all of this to him. Revenge is mine sayeth the Lord. You do not hurt the one's you "love"

Had to vent.furious

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Phil


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"You do not hurt the ones you love"?

You do..if youre an alcoholic..been there..and recovering, on both sides of the fence...

Its total insanity...

How does one deal with insanity? One cant.

Only the alcoholic can...

You can put yourself in the midst of the insanity..and become completely insane yourself....

or

Detatch from it...

Love...




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itsgot2bgd


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Dear Friend,
Oh dear, I'm so sorry you had to endure all that... it broke my heart.  It breaks my heart. I HATE this disease!!

Tonight you were there for me when you obviously needed some time to have someone be there for you.  Since I took up all the time in chatting, I'll just say this prayer for you and hope you feel the touch of your HP's arms around you:

Dear God,
My Friend is hurting and is angry. Please help her feel the comfort of your Love. Please help her know that we are all on a journey and she has played a vital role in her AH's life -- where You placed her.  Help her to know that she has learned from this experience and in some time, his own time, he may too. Please help my Friend to feel your Guiding hand and help her through the transitions she is about to go through. Please give her strength and courage and please open the doors of opportunity for her and the bring her the resources she needs. And please continue to help her know that you have a plan for her, not for "evil" but for her welfare and for a future and hope (ref: Jeremiah 29:11).  Please provide for her every need, protect her and her kids, and please guide her in doing the right things for herself and her children. Most of all, please bless her with a peace that passes all understanding and help her rest in knowing she will be okay. Amen."

My dear Friend, I wish you peace... sending you big, warm hugs,
Lee Ann

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Lee Ann
Friendofyours


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Amen. That was very sweet and touching. Thank you. I would always put someone before me (except A) lol I'm glad I could be there for you. ^i^

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abbyal


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That is alcoholism unfortunatley , try and remember that they treat you the way they feel about them selves ,dosent help much I know but seems to be true .  Alcoholics don't feel lovable don't deserve to be loved so destroy anything that looks like affection  nature of the disease.
Hurting the children is the way you see it and no doubt they do hurt but he is doing it to hurt you ,stinking thinking he is loosing control and he knows it , he is just not ready to give it up yet .. enough about him .  Please don't take on his crap , don't listen to it anymore you deserve better but until u say enough nothing will change . Nothing changes til someone changes .
Take care of  yourself don't listen to booze talk .  Louise

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getoverit


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Thoughts n prayers n dreams with you Dear one,
as you go thru this on your way back to love
again.
Regards,
getoverit

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david62


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(((FOY)))

The absolute drivel that pours out of their mouths is incomprehensible.  That's why we have just got to stop trying to comprehend it and why sometimes we just have to stop listening to it completely. 

We know better who we are.  And if we don't then we can find out all about us when we are ready too.  Just working those steps is our key to discovering the truth about ourselves and the lead us right down the trail to each of our own Happy Destinies.

Glad you posted, take care my friend,

David



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CAM0914


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Friend, I wish you peace heart.gif


christine



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Friendofyours


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I did it. I sent the papers to the attorney! What a freaky adventure.

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twinmom2


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(((FOY)))

I hate that you and the children are hurting because of this disease.  I agree with most of the responses you have received and it actually helped me to hear some of those responses too.  Your AH is a sick person and he must feel completely unlovable and unworthy of himself to let you and those children go and still verbally and emotionally abuse you.  IMHO his anger is misdirected and should be placed on himself not you.  I can see now that when my AH is angry or hurting I'm the closest person to him to take it out on.
 
Please do not take on his hurtful words, you are a blessing to yourself, your children, and to our recovery.  Do what you need to do to protect yourself from anymore hurt.  I am also feeling the affects of how I allowed myself to be treated by my AH these days, and working on a plan for me to 1. Re-train my children in how they speak to me and 2. Make sure I don't allow AH to speak to me in any abusive way.  You are a precious creature (((FOY))) be gentle with you and know that you are loved by your God, your children, and your recovery friends.

Hope you a have a peaceful joyous day,
Twinmom~

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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
ShelBell


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FOY, agree with the previous replies. I used to take it personally when my A said horrible things, and I walked away wondering WHY he hated me so... had an AHA moment one day when I realized that he wasn't even talking about me, but himself. I think they get so bogged down in self-hatred that it gets projected onto others. Do not take it to heart, as David said, you know who you are, and it is not the person your A makes you out to be. They are paralyzed with destructive thinking, and lash out at those closest to them. It's all part of the illness.

Have a nice day

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Michelle
ET


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itsgot2bgd, That was an awesome prayer!  How inspiring!  And it's so true!  I've been in this situation.  It's the most difficult thing I've ever gone through in my life (I was with my A for 25 years), but you will get through it and have a good life afterwards.  It takes a lot of work and lots of blessings, but you can have a peaceful life after living through something like this.  Keep the faith all of you who are facing this type of situation!

ET

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> He said he would push me away (8 yrs ago) He was right.