The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
.... about our A, about our life, about our job, about our situation, about ourselves?
I am great at being sarcastic. It can be funny, but I think it's deep down a form of denial. I see sarcasm to some degree in most of what I say. Especially when I talk about alcoholic behavior. It's a putdown of course, but it's also masking the pain. Humor is a great tool, but sometimes it prevents us from dealing with the truth.
So what would you say right now, if you couldn't be sarcastic?
I don't use sarcasm. When someone uses it around me, I keep my distance. Someone used it last night and I told her that I did not feel comfortable with the sarcasm. She took it as an attack and told me I am no fun. My guess is that if we didn't use sarcasm, then we would then need to speak our truth from the heart.
Oh man, sarcasism is one of my character defects. I was raised with it. The latin def is something like "ripping flesh". I knew no other way of communicating growing up. And still in my family of origin, if I try to just be real, be honest and upfront with my thoughts and feelings I am mercilessly abused.
But like kissers said, it makes others uncomfortable. It is a mean way of being. I have used it myself to abuse others. Children do not get it. It is one of my most unhealthy behaviors that I use without even being conscious of it.
So, without being sarcastic what would I say about my life? Um, ah, uuuummmm, despite the circumstances, my life is good today. I am truly blessed when it comes to my job. My boss has been so understanding about bringing the kids with me to work as I can't find a sitter, she has let me slide on money I owe the company. It's on it's way, it's just I am really behind. And myself, I am debating how to lose weight and wether I really feel the need to do so. I am trying to get in a mindset of taking care of myself healthwise. Not there yet, and I am not sure what I am waiting for. This is a great topic, it really is. It is so very hard for me when I am uncomfortable with something or someone and NOT be sarcastic.
I can't mention the A though......progress not perfection
"Many have fallen by the edge of the sword, but more have fallen by the tongue."
I grew up in a very sarcastic family and am not proud to admit that I became that as well. I used it to be funny only somehow it never came out funny. When my life was falling around me and I became so very fragile, it was then that I realized that sarcasm is no joke. It hurts. Its very damaging to the receiver.
I think there are funny jokes out there, many of which we've shared here, but when someone was sarcastic to me and I would tell them, they'd usually say "you can't take a joke" or "you are too sensitive."
I guess I did not answer your question, but I know for me today, sarcasm hurts. It hurts me and I can very easily hurt someone else. Often our conscience will tell us when we've been sarcastic and even sometimes others will point out that "that's not funny."
Thanks for the topic, yours in recovery, Maria
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Well I am not sarcastic. My family was not that way ever. It is hurtful and does no one any good so why be that way?
I lied, my aunt is horribly sarcastic, critical and prejudice. My mother her sis always had nothing to do with her.Sarcasm makes one ugly inside and out.
I guess I say,as I always have, I love and adore my A, hate the disease.
I grew up in a home filled with female sarcasm. I had a therapist once who said that sarcasm is completely and unequivocally un necessary in any kind of friendship or intimate friendship/relationship.
I have come to truly understand this and agree. I stay away from sarcasm. It is unhealthy and it is a mask. It has never served to generate any good anywhere, ever; it is designed to tear people down, not build them up. I once used to be the queen of sarcasm. When I see others being sarcastic, I also keep my distance. Its the sound of someone in a great deal of pain who is not really willing to do much about it, in my opinion (please note, this is my opinion: take what you would like and leave the rest).
"Ripping flesh" huh? Yes, that makes perfect sense. I have been guilty of it - but it's primarily when what I have to say HONESTLY would be so hurtful that I mask it in the guise of humor. I know as soon as it comes out of my mouth that it's sarcasm and I become uncomfortable. I try to be kind and gentle with my words, or just keep my mouth shut altogether. But sometimes I feel provoked - and that's usually when that sarcasm pops up. I hate it.
