The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been away for too long, funny how you get so busy living your life and caring for others you forget about yourself. I have a question with regard to detatchment. I have become so "detatched" that I feel I have closed myself off not only to my A hubby, but to the rest of my family and friends as well; self preservation to the max if you will. Is there such a thing as living the program until you become "too detached"? I would love to hear from anybody who has had similar experience, and how they managed (if it is possible). This disease can sure make more than just the A sick. Thanks for listening.
Aloha Bonnie...haven't seen your signon for a while. Good to have you around. There is such a thing as making a nuisance of a good thing. I believe anyone can go too far with detatchment and then maybe it becomes abandonment or maybe disinterest. I was taught to keep the love in my detachment and to acknowledge the value of the other person or people I was detaching from. For me detatchment is a "part-time" tool. I detach selectively not permanently. With love I am still able to reach across the detatchment and say, "I'm still connected. I'm not participating right now."
Detachment is an artform...methinks. (((((hugs)))))
Welcome back! We've missed you. Like everything, this program is about balance. It takes time to learn. You have recognized the fact that you might have gone too far. That's good. Like my good friend Jerry said "Detachment is an artform .... me thinks?" Very true. Love and blessings to you and your family. Don't be a stranger.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thanks for the reminders. In retrospect, me thinks perhaps I"m not really "detached" because his actions (a.k.a. drinking) still hurt so much. Just wish somewhere out there I could "rent" a backbone for just long enough to do what I know in my heart I must do....move on. I really don't want to be on this roller coaster in 10 or even 5 years from now. Thanks again for your kind words, I've really missed you and I will try very hard to stay more "regular" around here.
Detachment in my experience is letting go of the disease. Not letting it bother you,ignoring the bs of it. Knowing it is a disease and I cannot control it.
Then loving the person,knowing they are NOT the disease.
When the disease is talking, ignore. Just like you ignore someone with a cold coughing.
Whatever the disease causes ignore it. Love the person.
