The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Over the years here I have gotten many pm's about this subject.
When one has a sponsor, or sponsors from our MIP family, this is a common problem.
The sponsor all of a sudden stops corresponding to the person they sponsor.
Many times with no explanation. Sometimes just staying away for awhile.
Some of our sis, and bro's here are very tender, would appreciate a,"hey I am going to take some time off being a sponsor." Then say if it is for forever,until they can find another sponsor. Or it is only for a week, whatever.
To just stop corresponding, not responding like they had been, can leave a person very confused, and hurt.
I have had people I have met here over the years who we have corresponded for a very long time. Then they just disappear. No explanation,no bye. I don't know if it is they don't take net type friendships seriously, or what.
Some have emailed me, and wanted to email again. I usually do not get into it.I don't trust or distrust.However, if I am treated a certain way by someone, I just don't give it any energy anymore. No hard feelings.
I want to say too, if we ask for sponsors online, be very careful.Not everyone is as they seem. I am the worst Pollyanna in the world. Well, I seem like that. Really I know inside to take things as they come with no expectations. Does not mean I am not disappointed when a friendship disappears.
Sponsors are people too, they get hurt, and are hopefully in recovery.Even though they are our sponsor,we can still be very grateful, give back to them also.
If you don't have a sponsor, and do not want to share something on the message board, there is always pm to a mod. We are not only giving service for keeping the board safe, we are in recovery just like you and care, we feel humbled by someone needing to share or vent.
Maybe I should not say we....Well I always feel so good when someone feels comfortable enough to pm me.
Yep sponsors come from the disease also. As a part of growing up in this program I was taught to keep on keeping on with hope, trust, compassion, forgiveness and more for myself and others including my sponsors. Most of my past sponsors have been sterling and human. Several have not outlived me. Most I have learned from. A couple have been the wisest men I have ever met in my life and the one I have now tho I don't always see him when I do, is always on the same page that I am. When were not together I expect my sponsees to "let me go" as I do the same with them. I don't follow them around and when we're together I express my care and concern for how life is going for them. During the inbetween if they cannot get a hold of me my word to them is "call someone else" who you can trust your share with and then let me know what goes on when we make contact. My sponsor is human; has a life, business, family and plans that don't include me and he has experience, strength and hope I can tap into when we get together.
I expect from myself as taught me in this program, honesty, support and loyalty and integrity. If I am going to not be here I try at my very best to make sure my sponsees get the information. They all know what to do next.
Internet sponsorship isn't face to face and requires a ton more trust and a ton less expectation than face to face. I could be wrong. I have been before so that opinion is only mine. Grateful for your concern and compassion and understanding.
