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Enabling?
(Preview)
Here's the story: my brother got a rebate check from the government for $400. He took off for the day yesterday, came back with $280. He said he paid $100 at the storage facility where he has been keeping some of his furniture (he had until yesterday to pay his bill or it would be auctioned off because he ha...
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Jayda
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1
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407
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Support Needed
(Preview)
Okay, my A called said he had to tell me something. So I waited, of course if you keep the same playmates and play on the same playground you are bound to play the same games. He said....."I've been drinking and I just wanted to tell you, I'm very sorry, I don't want to fight. I calmly re...
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marmare
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7
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397
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Dr Tells Me to Take Care of Myself
(Preview)
I went to the dr today for a minor thing (follow up to quitting some meds) and she told me I have to quit stressing and take care of myself. I had a complete melt down and cried through the entire time I was there (I'm not a cryer, normally.) She's echoing Al-Anon, and I guess I just don't feel up...
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WakingUp
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6
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382
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We know something is wrong, but--------
(Preview)
We know something is very wrong but we cant figure out what it si or we think we have identified the problem but can never seem to solve it. We may suspect that drinkign has something to do with our situaiton, but we dont rea want to think about it: afterall alcoholism can be embarrassing. Or we may be acute...
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gardengal
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3
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348
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Last Night
(Preview)
Thank you all!
My A did show up, we didn't talk about his drinking very much. He was intoxicated as I thought he would be. He had drank, but I think my brain pictured a stumbling drunk man. We did however talk about feelings, about nothing changing if nothing changes. That b...
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marmare
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4
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354
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thanks for all the encouragement...
(Preview)
I just want to thank you all for your encouraging words. It helps to know I'm not alone, although at times of "war" with my daughter I feel helpless and alone.
She has not moved out yet...I asked her if she was moving out, and she said no. I said, you have bags pac...
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lmt123
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9
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461
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miss independent
(Preview)
today was a very difficult day.i had to go grocery shopping for the first time on my own. after proscastinating all day i decided to go. i actually did my makeup and hair too and looked and felt great. so i went and got my shopping done with a few hurdles. i couldnt reach some stuff off the top shelves but man...
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notsonew1111
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6
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343
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overidentification
(Preview)
Last year at this time my A came down with a debiliating illness. He developed a muscle disorder that left him in a great deal of pain and virtually bed ridden.
I over identified with his illness because I have had my own illness. I did not wait to be asked to help. I jumped right in drew money out...
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maresie
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5
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331
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What a great day!
(Preview)
Wow! Today was great! The hubby is moving out. He has been packing all day. I have been doing a lot of thumb twittling and not sure what to do. I offered to lend a hand....not to get him out faster, but just to help. He didn't want any. That is fine. He s...
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ZiggyDoodles
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3
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365
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My abbreviated "Lead"--it's still fairly long!
(Preview)
I was born in the UK in 1940, in Liverpool. My family was already in great disarray—my mother suffering from mental illness, and my dad an active alcoholic. They were very poor, and moved a lot. Six of their eight children had already died of infantile diseases such as diphtheria a...
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seachange
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5
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398
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i'm dreaming
(Preview)
i think i am dreaming. who do i think/hope he will be?
my father is an A and i no longer am having contact with him. his behavior sickens me...anyway--he is on permenant social security disability (do to his drinking problem). i hold a bit of resentment for this b/c i have epilepsy(seizure disorder) a...
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flintfeet
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2
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296
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BREAKAWAY - (Sing-A-Long)
(Preview)
Well, do what you have to do. Get the travel channel on, or checkout a travel video, while on your treadmill, ha, ha. Close your eyes, or actually purchase a bus ticket, or an overnight stay w/a jacuzzi, but add this music for meditation! &...
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wallsal55
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0
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294
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Newbie Post (2nd attempt)
(Preview)
I spent a lot of time, composing my thoughts, finding my words, trying to be as coherent as possible while feeling that my sanity was hanging by a thread.
Satisfied with my efforts, I clicked the submit button -- but at the same moment, my internet service was interrupted. So it d...
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Taryn
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7
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445
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strangely enough calm
(Preview)
Well, it has been one hell of a month!!! I knew something had been up, but I couldn't put my finger on it, finally last Tuesday he came home totally high--so much so he was paranoid--if I wasn't so upset about it I would have been laughing. (He was hearing noises.) I just kept thinking--you actually pay so...
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hudsond
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6
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329
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An Article On Boundaries
(Preview)
What is a boundary?A boundary is the: Emotional and physical space between you and another person.Demarcation of where you end and another begins and where you begin and another ends.Limit or line over which you will not allow anyone to cross because of the negative impact of its being crossed in the...
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Phil
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5
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608
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Al-Anon Lead
(Preview)
Hi Everyone! Just want to share with you that I survived my Al-Anon lead! It was a leap, for sure, because I hadn't done one in about twenty years, and haven't heard any specifically Al-Anon leads--only AA and NA. It felt like doing all the steps at once! Admitting all the unm...
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seachange
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6
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1184
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Hudsond/about your doggy?
(Preview)
I am so sorry to hear about your doggy that was shot. (((((((((doggy))))))) Do you mind sharing anything about the situation or information. I will say prayers for his recovery and if possible, can you update us on him. That is so touching what your A said. It just shows how much they want to quit drinkin...
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cdb
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3
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307
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newcomer difficulty with the idea of detachment
(Preview)
Hi everybody, I have recently joined and have attended 2 meetings so far. Alcoholism has affected my whole life. I grew up with an alcoholic father who was very abusive ( Sexually. verbally and emotionally) to us 4 children and my mother. I learned at an early age how to walk on eggshells and what...
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koala
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9
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631
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not taking care of ourselves...small example.
(Preview)
Small example of not taking care of ourselves. I REALLY need a shower today. LOL. I hate taking them at night cause of the wonderful effects in the morning on the hair. LOL
So this morning, I drive the A to work (sharing one car, and I have my f2f today). Get home, my one daughter hasn't gotten up. She ha...
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bobump
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9
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568
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No progress .....
(Preview)
Well, the last time I posted I had an appointment with a lawyer just to find out what my rights are married or divorced. I had to turn back because of the icey roads. Maybe this is prophetic because I probably could of made it but I was scared to death of driving on the roads. And I am scared to death to face rea...
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nmike
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4
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338
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Needing Advise
(Preview)
Thanks for giving me an outlet! I appreciate your responses and respect your opinions and advise. I will try to make this long story short... My son is almost 25 and has been involved with drugs and alcohol since the age of 17. He has been married to a wonderful girl for almost 4 years...
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ris
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5
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411
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why???
(Preview)
why do i have to worry about my dad's problems? i feel like it's not fair to have to worry about something i didn't cause, can't control, but i can't accept it. for lack of a better word...this sucks!
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flintfeet
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4
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440
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Thank You
(Preview)
Just wanted to say thanks for the chat last night. It was the first time I participated. I was having a bad night and really needed a meeting. It was so comforting to have one available. Thanks to everyone who was there!
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findingmyway
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1
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289
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Still trying to let him go
(Preview)
I can't believe that it's almost been 2 months since I've seen my AH!!! And now it's been 9 days since I've spoken to him. He's still calling every morning at the same time leaving messages. I really believe he has done some major brain damage to his brain this time. He really s...
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sdisnie
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3
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507
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verbal and emotional abuse
(Preview)
Does verbal and emotional abuse and Alcholism always go together? I can't seem to separate them and I wonder if the Alcohol is causing the abuse or if this is a separate issue?
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2D1S
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9
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847
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2/3update - 2/2 my brothers whereabouts
(Preview)
He was sent to NE Med Ctr for his angiogram (after EKG and stress tests) and then on to Dept of Correction.
Im thinking if he was sent to the jail maybe now they are focusing on his rehab and his physical is okay?
God it sucks when they send them from one place to another and dont contact the family. We don...
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Barbara
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3
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426
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bad nights
(Preview)
How do I get through these nights? The lying and sneaking...I can't stand it. How do I ignore it? How do I get rid of the hurt and anger. How do I not be irritable? If I just need a break from my kids because I am boiling over but can't leave because no one is here and no one can come over. Just saying some d...
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2D1S
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10
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412
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Selfish alcoholics
(Preview)
Last week my husband and I had a HUGE fight over his drinking. He ended up sitting in a bar all day Thursday (he's laid off from work) and getting sloppy drunk. Of course, he drove home like that. Anyway, we talked on Friday and I told him I would be filing for divorce if he continued drinking. He said he was s...
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Lindy
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7
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713
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New Spirituality Meeting starts this Sunday AM, hope to see you all there!!!!
(Preview)
Hello all! At the group consience meeting tonight, it was voted in to make the Sunday AM meeting a "Spirtuality Meeting." I thought i'd post here and tell all that weren't there about the change and just exactly what a spirtuality meeting is so here I go ;o)
A Spirtuality Meeting...
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mastiff
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2
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299
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My A is back home
(Preview)
Hello all:
I went to see my A and his counselor on Sunday, two days before his release. After much contemplating about the situation, I had decided, even before getting my results that I would give his recovery and mine one last chance together. If he was going to make a solid attempt at this I fe...
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Kim
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6
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592
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He needs to stop......
(Preview)
This looks like a place where I need to be. Nobody seems to understand me and why I refuse to give up on my alcoholic husband. We have been together for 15 years and have to sons. Our younger son is only 4 weeks old and our oldest is 13. Our 13 year old knows his dad is an alcoholic, but their like best friends. I...
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laura3098
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7
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411
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reasons to drink
(Preview)
I have found this out in my experiences with my A.
Reasons to drink....because you are pissed off...because you had a great day...because you are celebrating...because you are sad...because you and your wife had a fight...because your child was born...because your child is in the hospital...b...
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2D1S
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10
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448
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more hp questions. short.
(Preview)
Sorry to be harping on about this. A lot of people suggested that my HP could be a person or the group since I am an atheist. But then I don't understand how the steps work. I am good with step one, but after that I don't know what to do. I could believe the group could he...
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paintthinnr
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8
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479
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Went Back to F2F
(Preview)
For those who responded to my previous posts about feeling uncomfortable at my F2F meeting, I did go back last night. It wasn't great, but it wasn't awful either. I would at least like to stick out the 6 months of my service position, if possible.
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WakingUp
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3
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308
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A verbally abuses our mother
(Preview)
My brother constantly verbally abuses my mother. I've talked to her about it a million times. She doesn't deny that he verbally abuses her, but she makes excuses for him like, "it's okay, he's just having a bad day" I wish there was something I could do to stop this.
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Jayda
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3
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413
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whats the difference btwn Domestic Abuse & Assault and Battery?
(Preview)
Brother was charged with Assault & Battery. Mother thinks it should have been Domestic Abuse and will go back to the lawyer to see if she can lessen the charges. Whats the difference?
She does remember being told by the police that its going as A&B but she wasnt thinking clearly.
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Barbara
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4
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427
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encouragement needed...(this is long, sorry)
(Preview)
I just found that my daughter has a couple of duffle bags packed with her stuff, clothes, necessities, etc., upstairs in her room. She expressed the desire to move out, because she didn't like having house rules at age 18, even though she is still a senior in high school. I gave her a list of...
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lmt123
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11
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432
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brother is having a cardiac catheter today
(Preview)
guess the stress test showed up some irregularity. Dont know where they're sending him for this - noone can visit. If he needs a bypass will the family be able to visit?
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Barbara
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2
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308
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This day went to the pitts
(Preview)
Last night I talked to a friend and pour all my feeling out to him. Pour guy. He doesn't usually call me during the day. Today, he called just to wish me a better day than yesterday and pump me up to put one foot infront of the other and take action.
This lasted all through the day.&nbs...
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ZiggyDoodles
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5
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366
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New to the site
(Preview)
I found your site today and thought since I was struggling that I would give this a try. This may get long winded, for that I apologize ahead of time. I guess I'll start from what I consider the beginning of our struggle.
Seven years ago, my husband was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer....
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Nettie
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7
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357
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new to this site
(Preview)
I have just found this site and I have been reading some of the things on here and it sounds like my house and my life. I have been with my husband for 15 years and frankly I wonder sometimes what the heck is the matter with me. He was sober for 3 years of our marriage then decieded AA was not for hi...
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snodebb
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7
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327
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Daughter's injured AA puppy update....
(Preview)
Hello friends,
Someone asked me about my recoverying alcoholic/drug addicted daughter's puppy last night so I thought I would update on the board. His name is burton, almost 8 months old, mixed lab and a source of strength for her sobriety. I put AA puppy because she use to bring him to her AA meeting...
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cdb
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10
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371
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For 2D1S
(Preview)
I just happened to find this website
http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/
It's got lots and lots of stuff on it about verbal and emotional abuse.
I'm just going through it myself, I hope you might find something helpful.
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dogscribe
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1
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316
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unbelievable
(Preview)
Just found out my husband was arrested for possession of cocaine. He didn't feel the need to share that with me. I found out by accident although he did admit it when I asked. Unbelievable. Can this get any worse?
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findingmyway
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3
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309
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which works better
(Preview)
Which works better for kids (under 10) affected by the active A when they are exposed to it every day (I can't hide the verbal abuse that goes with it). Alanon or counseling
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2D1S
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5
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368
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Unable to connect
(Preview)
I tried to log in to the chat but was unable. This is the error message I received:
Unable to connect : com.ms.security.SecurityExceptionEx : cannot connect to "irc.mipchat.net"
Can someone help me?
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Nettie
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2
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335
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from all sides
(Preview)
It is coming at me from all sides...feeling a bit hopeless. My husbum is an A...sister uses Meth...mother and father in law and my mother are the worst of enablers and they are constantly making excuses for the addicts behavior (husbum or sister's). No other siblings other than her. I can't seem to get...
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2D1S
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4
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371
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longish and random. sponsor?
(Preview)
Well I am going back to a meeting tonight. It has only been two days but I feel like I have to try a bunch of different meetings and see what suits me. It is so easy to make up excuses as to why I shouldn't go. I read the little packet on sponsorship. I am not sure when to get a sponsor o...
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paintthinnr
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3
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349
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got my results
(Preview)
Hey everyone:
I am NEGATIVE!!!!!!! Thank you for all your prayers.
Kim
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Kim
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14
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428
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thoughts
(Preview)
Has anyone ever just wished that their A would get killed in a drinking and driving crash and just get it over with. Of course not injuring anyone else. Or one of the times they pass out in the car...they would just freeze to death.
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2D1S
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7
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391
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Father in Law
(Preview)
As some of you may know from message board posts or chat I have a real problem with my father in law. He hates me and I hate him. He is an obnoxious A. He is a sociopath and a real user. As a child he took my A out to bars and put him in harms way as young as 9. He has always used my A o...
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lebe27
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4
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344
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looking for a sponser
(Preview)
I am in a bit of a bind ........ I don't have anyone to watch my kids to go for the moment to any F2f meeting, there for I am looking for a sponser. CAN ANYONE HELP ? that would be great.
Thanks.
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Mercedes Dekkers
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2
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291
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The up and down rollar coaster
(Preview)
Last week was so horrible I was on this board a lot. I printed out some articles on how to tell if someone is a drunk and I underlined a bunch of it and put it on the coffee table where my laid off alcoholic husband could see if when he finally rolled himself out of bed on Friday morning/afternoon. I threatene...
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Lindy
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4
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465
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chat room
(Preview)
I cant get the chat room to work. When I click on chat room...I get a white box but it says it cannot connect. I am confused
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2D1S
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2
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314
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if I'd keep my mouth shut I could avoid this drama
(Preview)
this is long but I had to vent.....
I'm sitting here waiting to take the 13 yo to school. It's 12:25 and the wife can be home by 12:05. She walks in the door with beer and Mikes hard whatever. I told her, I'm waiting to talk our daughter to school and your finding time to get alcohol? She says she di...
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bobump
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8
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508
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dysfunction
(Preview)
My life is filled with so many dysfunctional people around me that it is so difficult to find support and help. A friend of mine agreed to help me this evening by watching my kids while my A and I went to marriage counseling. She called me on the way home from work and gave me a huge guilt trip about how...
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2D1S
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6
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461
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scared and lonely
(Preview)
I was just wondering if anyone might be able to help me figure out what is going on. My A and I are separated, as many of you know. It was a decision I made when he was hospitalized in December. After he was released he went to stay at his Dad's, started and IOP and is going to meetings. He frequently asked abou...
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confused
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5
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426
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Flattened
(Preview)
I'm here, I'm trying really hard, it's not working.
My deceased Grandmother thought it neccesary to include in her will my name and her decision not to provide anything for me ... I thought of Jennifer but I make no provision for the daughter of my deceased son for reasons best known to me. Thanks for t...
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Jennifer
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4
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291
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I don't know what to do
(Preview)
My A is not a family member, just a long term friend.
Her physical condition is awful. She's 65, probably weighs less than 100lbs, although she is about 5'8" tall. She can barely stand and or walk. Her counseler finally talked her into going into a detox center where they would build her back up so that...
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Lea
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6
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358
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Letting go and letting God....
(Preview)
Letting go and letting God....
I was listening to someone tonight on letting go and letting God...and I wanted to share this.
It's another of those spiritual laws, that letting go lets God. We can actually inhibit the answer to a prayer by wanting something too much. That can tend toward lust, and...
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alanon_2002
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3
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290
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