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Hi My dad is an alcoholic, trying so hard to recover, but His life sucks so bad, I can't help thinking that I would just want to get drunk if I were in his shoes. He's 54 or 55, got divorced from his wife of almost 30 years, got 2 DD's doesn't have a license or a job, bouncing checks left and right, owes everyone $, this close to being homeless. I've tried finding him jobs, selling him my car for cheap, free firewood for heat, giving him food, and just being there for him- you know, letting him know I love him no matter what, but as sincere as all these things are, he just can't get out of his rut... He's been to a 30- day rehab center in traverse over christmas 2003 or 2004- which SUCKED mostly because It was during X-mas, but also because he was so confident and hopeful, but it did NOTHING for him. He can't get a job because of not having a licence, but can't get a licence till he pays 2 or 3,000 dollars in responsible drivers fees. He still owes other fines, and is on the verge of going to jail for being behind in child support. He wants to pay it loves his children, (there's me-21, my brother-18, and my littlest brother-15) but has no money!! He's getting old, and to be honest, I'm so scared he'll die sad and without a home or having a good life... HOW CAN I HELP HIM!?!?!?!
The sad and honest answer to this is you cannot help him. The only person who can get your Dad out of the rut is him. The bills etc are all a result of his drinking. You are powerless over it. The 3 c's I cannot cure it, I cannot control it and I did not cause it all apply. I am not telling you not to love your Dad just gain some acceptance of how life is at the moment. Your Dad is very lucky to have you in his life your post shows me how kind you are. Try going to some meetings if you are not already doing so and work your program with the steps it will help you deal with things a little better. Luv Leo ((()))
my story is almost identical. my dad got divorced from my mom of 22yrs b/c he wouldn't stop drinking. he lost his wife, his job (b/c he was too drunk to go), his house (b/c he couldn't pay his bills), owes $$ to everyone, got 2 dui's(one of which he ran into a cop car while drinking in his car), lost his car, now has lost his family. my sister and i tried helping him over and over again. he get social security b/c he can't hold a job due to his drinking. since he can't remember to pay his own bills, my sister and i pay them for him with his $$. well, now we stopped doing that b/c we are tired of being his"parent".
i know that he wants to be a good dad and grandpa, but he just can't get his life straight. it may sound bad, but we (sis=22, bro=24 & me=26) have decided not to have contact with him b/c it hurts us too much. we can't stand by and watch him drink himself to death. i don't want my kids to see how bad their grandpa is. i know it hurts him (and us), but until he straightens out we can't do it!
i'm sorry you are in those shoes, it sucks! i know how you feel. in my situation...it isn't getting better-it is just worse. but i stand stronge by my choice, and am starting to feel better about myself. i finally do what is good for me. i feel better than ever and feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders b/c i worry about me& my kids--not him all the time.
