The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I get home from work, pick up our daughter to run an errand and return home to this:
A: "There's a meeting tonight so I had my beer and I'm going to the meeting, what do you think about that?"
ME: "Fine with me, enjoy"
I'm thinking, how crazy is this? What on earth was he trying to prove? I almost had to laugh. But I did realize that he didn't get a rise out of me. I didn't really even care. How crazy can one person be? I just keep reminding my self of step 1, I say it over and over again to myself. I am powerless over alcohol and my live has become unmanageable. How many times before he went to treatment did I scream and throw his bottle (that goodness for plastic)? How many times I had wished it was another woman I was fighting against. At least that would have made "sense" to me. I told him yesterday that this was his to deal with. That I'm taking the healthy path right now for all of us, mainly myself. Whether or not he follows is up to him. I can happily say that I have handed him over to God and He'll work through him when the time is right. If he would just quit fighting so hard to do this his own way....Again, I just want to say how very grateful I am for this sight. Every morning I come to work early so that I can read the posts from the night before. For the first time in a very long time, I don't feel so alone. I don't feel like I'm crazy, that others experience the very same things I do. This has truly been a blessing. To find a blessing in chaos? Life is facinating isn't it?
This is so familiar to me. I picked up my son yesterday at his after school program and came home to similiar crap. I didn't start a fight or even make one comment about what a drunk he is. I was so proud of myself for not letting him have that power over me. He ended up going upstairs to sulk and drink and I didn't follow him or even acknowledge that I even gave a damn. Things were not bad last night. There was no screaming or yelling. Just sulking on his part and my son and I having fun on our part! I'll be thinking of you the next time I opt out of a fight and continue on with my life whether he's drunk or not. I hope it goes well for you too. Good luck!
How peaceful you sound! I wish I could come to terms myself with handing my a over to God. I know I can't control him, the alcoholism, or addiction--but for some reason I feel like I have to keep my hand in the pot. Talk about craziness--but on my part.
I don't wish I was fighting another woman, but I do wish it was something I could understand!!!
So glad that have been able to find some serenity through us, for that is what I heard in your post. I really heard you practicing "let go and let God" from your share.
Keep up the good work.
Much Love,
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
