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HI.. Its been forever it seems like since i have posted here.. Alot has been happening and have had alot on my plate.. In Nov i was in a bad car accident.. I was hit by two cars.. Still have fears and stuff from that.. :ashamedstill have nightmares about all of it.. Nightmares are not as bad.. however the fears when i am driving etc are.. Anyways i had to have a MRI on my neck and shoulder becasue of the accident.. Do to some problems i have been having.. It showed that i have two herniated disk in my lower back and also continous muscle spasims in my neck and shoulders.. Anyways as some of you know.. I am a nanny for three children.. Least i was.. Till Friday.. Wednesday was a absolute nightmare at work.. And the stress with everything has been really bad.. She asked me if i wanted her to put the kids in day care.. I didnt even think about it.. I told her no.. However it was for selfish reasons.. I came home crying and talked to my mom about it.. Even called counselor crying.. I knew what i needed to do.. I guess i was just hopeing that someone would tell me something differnt.. So i went thursday morning and i told her i felt it was a good idea.. She simply said ok and that was it.. Well Thursday night she meet me to pick up the kids from a counseling appointment.. The one little boy goes to the same one that i do.. She didnt hardly say a word to me.. So Friday morning i went to work and she didnt say a word to me.. So them Friday night she got home and said she had found a day care for the kids and they had to go right away to turn in the paper work and so the kids could see things there.. and off they went.. I didnt even have a chance to say good-bye to them.. Nothing.. She wont talk to me now.. One of the little boys had a B-day party yesterday.. I had a Alanon business meeting to go to so i coudlnt go.. So today i tried to call her to take his present to him. The line was busy so i knew she was online.. So i got on here and messaged her.. told her i had just tried to call her and line was busy.. That i was calling cause i wanted to bring the B-day present to him.. She didnt answer me.. So finally i told her i was sorry.. That i guess she was busy and maybe could talk later.. To let me know when i could bring the present over to him.. She still did not answer me.. I love those kids so much and i really thought we were friends.. I had to quiet.. I had to take care of me.. I mean i did alot for them.. And i didnt make much.. U didnt care about the money though cause i loved those kids so much.. I feel guilty about all this now though.. I mean i know i had to do this.. I cant hardly do anything right now.. So how can i do house work and take care of the kids too.. I am in so much pain all the time right now.. I hardly sleep.. I cant sit or stand long.. I cried all the way home Friday night.. Even called sponser and told her i wanted to meet her for a meeting.. I dont know what to do.. I am really hurt by all this.. I am angry about all this.. And i dont know what to do.. ANyways.. i have wasted enough of your time.. Thank you for letting me share.. Bye
I'm reading because I want to read others ESH, like Irish said, never a waste of time. :)
You can't control how this person is going to react. You gave up something you loved and a source of imcome because you did what seemed to be the right thing by the kids and the job.
I know it's hard to keep your head up when you keep getting pounded like you've been. Keep your head up and your HP will help you get through this, one way or another.
Keep coming back here and sharing.
{{{angelbearpoet}}}}
Bob
__________________
You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
This is her issue, not yours. You are doing the right thing by taking care of yourself. Some people take things as a personal attack. You cannot control how she feels. You can take care of yourself. You did nothing wrong and certainly nothing worth apologizing for. You did NOT cause your back problems. Tell your HP/God that the anguish you feel over her is too much for you to bear and turn it over to him. He knows what to do with it. Sometimes tragedies are the start of a new chapter in our lives. There's obviously another plan for you in the works!
So sorry you are having to got through this right now. You certainly have a lot to deal with. None of it your fault. Don't let someone else make you feel guilty for doing something you had to do for yourself.
Real friends don't treat each other like that especially when you have been so kind and loyal. Her reasons are selfish - she is thinking of her needs first. Time for you to focus on what is best for you. Nothing is more important than your health. It is okay to look out for you sometimes you know. Let it go to HP good things will be around the corner for you. Everything happens for a reason. Big hugs from Australia. Luv Leo x
For the last 4 days, I have had sciatica - been hobbling around, bent double, like a very, very old woman! Makes me realise, I have to take care of me - my health is my topmost priority.
I am sorry you feeling this pain, the emotional, and the physical. The kind of job you had, with children - it involves your emotions, you human, of course you miss them, and are upset.
The most important thing is to get yourself healthy - then you can start to look forward - you are worth better than this, your "friend/employer" has not behaved well, that is her responsibility. Your responsibility is to you - take care of yourself, you have many friends here, who love and support you, you are worth it!
I am saddened by your story. You did nothing to deserve this treatment. Sometimes, when we are in trouble or go through tough times, we find out who our real friends are. It is sad when that happens. Your friend/employer doesn't seem to care and/or has not got much compassion.
Its been forever it seems like since i have posted here.. 
Alot has been happening and have had alot on my plate.. 
In Nov i was in a bad car accident.. I was hit by two cars.. 
Still have fears and stuff from that.. :ashamedstill have nightmares about all of it.. 
Nightmares are not as bad.. 
however the fears when i am driving etc are.. 
So i went thursday morning and i told her i felt it was a good idea.. She simply said ok and that was it.. Well Thursday night she meet me to pick up the kids from a counseling appointment.. The one little boy goes to the same one that i do.. 
