Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I know this is obvious and I actually accepted alcoholism as a disease along time ago, I just have a hard time applying it to him. He has hep C and cancer. I know that those are diseases and he suffers from them. Funny, they don't really come up very much. Anyway, doesn't he choose to drink? Last ni...

ShelBell · ShelBell

StressA lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold...

Rita G · Rita G

So, in the last week or so, i have read several post here & on another site with people struggling about feeling guilt about why their A's drank or use - feeling some responsibility for that & some of the other behaviors- some of my friends from my f2f meeting were also talking about this - th...

QOD · QOD

I am in a strange mood this morning. I took my separation questionaire to my lawyer yesterday to have them officially drafted for signing. It was a weird feeling. Good but bad. Ya know. Like I am putting an end to an era. My first love - my high school love - my marriage to the only man I have ever been wi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

A is still in jail, been there since the 1st. Pretty sad when there's not a soul in the world who will give you $100 and vouch for you. Job was lost yesterday (he can't even get anyone to pick up his check and bail him out with his own money). MIL called to ask me to do it and I said no so now she's...

sharky · sharky

Looking for some practical info. AH got a DUI a few weeks ago; our auto insurance agent is now trying to get ahold of him. I"m guessing they're going to cancel our insurance, or at least raise the rates. I don't give a flip about AH's coverage at this point, but I really need to have af...

shadow1 · shadow1

(((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))) I’m in some desperate need of ES&H. For those of you that don’t know I live with my active AH. On the weekends usually in the mornings, while sober he will go into a fit of rage. It always starts with the kids not doing what they are supposed to do and then it goes on f...

serendipity · serendipity

thanks so much for your replies to my last post. the kindness and understanding flow right into me and give me new thoughts to think. i'm scared. i guess that is what it's boiling down to for me. i am seeing so much fear in myself trying to strike out and do this "live my own life" thing...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again... but also, she will never sit down on a cold one any more. --Mark Twain "Last night I asked for help, but...

hudsond · hudsond

Life is going good. Why do I feel so uneasy? My ah has been sober for almost 6 months. He is very active in his program-going to 10-12 meetings a week, talking to his sponsor almost every night, has others calling him and is talking to them, listening to speaker tapes at home, working his steps, yada, y...

QOD · QOD

So I didn't really know what topic to use to describe this post......it is just laughable to me. Of course, I may just be a bit hysterical over it all. On Friday when I got home from work, there was a message from this guy that my AH has been trying to get a job with for the last 2-1/2 months. He had taken...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

Ive had a prayer answered.... My brother is now in rehab. Ive prayed for some sort of help for one of my family memebers. Im so pleased with the prayer answered. My Mom is not very happy with me. I told her I couldnt fix the situation. She got mad at me and pretty much called me heartless. I told My Mom I did lov...

davidssibling · davidssibling

Thank you for responding to me five days ago,,,,,,,, oh how I needed to talk to someone, how lonely, frusterated, scared I was. I couldn't send back replys, as I was not familuar with this setup of IMs, and stuff,,,,,,, I'm still learning. I just want to let you know, I found my way into the room,...

Diva · Diva

The youthful, tanned body has become gorgeously mature. He's tall, and straight, and proud as a peacock. The blond, curly hair has become a rich silver mass of gentle curls hanging down his forehead and into his eyes. The bedroom blue eyes are even more knowing and twinkling. The badness ha...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Friends))) Tomorrow one year ago my now AH and I split up. Everything moved so quickly. My AH was drinking very heavily then. I was a mess. I was frustrated beyond belief and my life seemed to be surrounded by chaos, anger, resentment, manipulation, constant bickering. We both had had eno...

QOD · QOD

My AH has been working on getting this new job for over 2 months now. Supposedly it required tons of background work and paperwork that was taking some time. He had gotten down to the last 2 things.....the drug test and physical. He had the drug test on Friday morning. Thursday night, he took a home t...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Ah has left me no choice. I used to recieve foodstamps when he was a full blown alcoholic because he hoarded money so I had to go after him for child support, well.......he's doing it again. He leaves me "just enough" to pay the bills and thinks he deserves whatever he wants.....now mind...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Please keep us in your prayers. especially my father and my children. She would have been 68 on Friday. It's been a long journey.

kellygirl · kellygirl

I just returned to my office after attending my first Al-Anon meeting...OMG, how great it was. It just "clicked" within me...while I have a LONG way to go, I really feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. What wonderful people they were, and they validated my own story and help...

kellygirl · kellygirl

This is going to seem like such a silly question, but how can I tell for sure that my H is an alcoholic?...He left me and our 3 kids last March and is living with another woman...am I just using alcohol as an excuse for him leaving us? Yea, I'm a newbie

-- Edited by kellygirl at 16:52, 2007-01-30 -...

TexasAngel · TexasAngel

Hello, I am new to this forum and to Al-Anon. I have started a program called "Celebrate Recovery" at a local church...has any one here heard of this program? If so...what are your thoughts? Thanks TA

fozzie · fozzie

My A is my husband - been married almost 23 years. About four - five years ago I started to realize he had real problems with alcohol. I've done everything I can think of - yelled, cried, badgered, reasoned, been compassionate... You know what I mean - we've all been there. Sometimes I think i...

Akasha · Akasha

It's been a while since I have posted any sort of update on our situation here. Not sure anyone really remembers us...but good news is always a good thing to share, yes? My AH (addiction not restricted to just alcohol) has been sober now almost 7 months. He is working his program and is in constant...

Diva · Diva

Edit Post | Quote | Reply Yesterday morning I nearly died! No joke here. I had stopped in to have a word with my internist. Taking a chance that she may have time to see me, and she did. We were talking about stress and how it can react, and I began telling her about the A, and how his behavior has affected my li...

Serenity · Serenity

-- Edited by John at 08:06, 2007-02-05

Diva · Diva

to have made so many of you smile reading through the "Bad, Bad, Bill" series of posts. Renewing a cherished love relationship from so long ago has been a ray of sunshine for me too. I'll keep you all posted. So far, it's exciting as can be!!! Any of you remember the song, "B...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

Major Ziggy to Alanon Base.......lol Today was rather eventful. My son as been sick all weekend making no improvement. This morning, his fever shot up even higher and had no clue where he was at. The baby was to be home soon from a weekend at her A dad's house. I called former AH and gave him a run d...

CJ · CJ

Hi family. It's been quite a while since I started a topic, and recent events have put my skills to the test. A hearing for the criminal trial (DV) was held a few days ago. The state (not I) pressed charges and Awife and lawyer entered into a diversion agreement - it won't proceed to trial, as lon...

davidssibling · davidssibling

It's me, Eve, and I just want to say, wow, the chat room is such a great place. Three days ago I found it, and there was a converstaion or many conversations happening. Thought maybe I was in wrong room. I asked if it was really a room for al-anon, and the people stopped the chit chat, and asked how I was,...

QOD · QOD

I feel there may be some clarification needed regarding my last post. Obsession? There is no obsession when it comes to tracking my AH's credit card transactions. Only concern. 1st - I am not tracking him 24/7 or even at home. I do not have a computer at home. So there is NO - ZERO - neglect towar...

fozzie · fozzie

I think I'm ready to give my A husband a choice. I know choice is just a fancy word for ultimatum, and ultimatums generally don't work (see all the wonderful replies to my previous post), but this is for myself and the kids. We had a big family weekend this weekend at my parents' house. The...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah and i spend alot of time together with the kids. it is for the most part tolerable and fun. buti'll start relating a story that i've heard on the news and he inturupts me with something more important. so, i see, he is just being rude. it is part of his mania taking hold again. all the signs a...

kellygirl · kellygirl

Sometimes I am actually jelous of my AH...a small part of me envy's his seemingly carefree existance with the bartender skank in the smoke filled trailor. No bills, no nagging wife, no children throwing up at 3 o'clock in the morning, no toilets to plunge or dog poo to pick up. just a carefree e...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I did some research yesterday about the arrest and am just feeling resigned to the idea that this is just the way it's gonna be and it's time for me to move on. I thought I was moving on before but still had that string of hope that we might get back together someday, that he would get better. I am a...

maresie2 · maresie2

As some of you may remember when I first came into this room more than a year ago I was absolutely lost in resentment and chaos with the A. I have definitely had my moments over the past year. I've been totally desolate at times, I have also been petrified at what the A might do next. I never did see the...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi everyone))) Well as I heard a few times when first coming to this program, you will need this work probably more when your A gets sober. It is becoming more and more true. I was just so glad to have him "back" in this world that I was pretty much just staying put, sticking with him like gl...

Marianne · Marianne

I would like to tell you why I am on this forum. I left my AexH who was a violent drunk when my son Sam (that's him on the left) was three, his sister two and his brother, a baby. A couple of years after leaving him I met a guy ( let's call him AP) I really fell for him, he was kind ,gentle, fun and loved my...

Fifi · Fifi

wish i had the energy to share events/feelings/responses/questions of the past few days in my life with you all and get some specific replies. but i am exhausted and definitely numb and foggy feeling and just wanted to ask you to keep me in your hearts and prayers. i am emotionally so exhausted....try...

maresie2 · maresie2

Dealing with the A, working nights (I currently work shifts) and more have left me incredibly isolated. I think I have to say my codependence also leaves me isolated. I over react, over identify, people please, martyr myself in relationships. I recently read a biography of a child growing up in an a...

kerry5 · kerry5

Business Meeting Sunday Ferbruary 4th at 9pm est Follwing the alanon meeting. Agenda Meeting Schedule. New Comer Meeting Financial Report. New Business Will hear all new business from members. If you have any new business you can send me a private email here or bring it up at the meeting. Thanks...

ally · ally

((((((((((((GUYS))))))))))) My emotions have been like a rollercoaster since Christmas. I am going through so much confusion and pain. One day I'm happy, next day I land right back down there on my butt. I was happy yesterday. And today the bottom has fallen out of my world. One of my relationshi...

evey · evey

Hello all, It has been awhile, been visiting and reading but not posting. My Ah will die of alcoholism. There it's said. I have done everything I can. So has his family. He had a withdrawel seizure at work and was taken to the hospital. Low blood count(30,000) it should be 100,000 min, fatty liver, e...

Wilted · Wilted

Yesterday my AH came home from work with not only the regular six pack he has been drinking every day, but an additional 3 six packs that a customer had stopped off at my husband's job and given him. When he shared that information with me, the first thought that popped in my head was: "Here goes...

jaja · jaja

Last Wed. my son and his new girlfriend came to town to spend a week here with me which was exciting because I have not seen him in 5 months (first time he's ever been away) and it was the first time I'd be meeting her. And that Saturday my oldest daughter and her 6 yr. old daughter came to to...

bev · bev

sorry for adding the post again,i didnt see that it came on cause im not on my computer,sorry

gr8tful · gr8tful

hi all i am new to this format and am looking to get some experience strength and hope from al-anon.i have 9.5 years clean from chemicals( no drugs etoh) BUT my husband is an active and really sick drunk. how is that for twisted?I didnt get enuf pain torturing myself I had to stay w a active drinker.i was...

Leetle · Leetle

I have come to realize that I work with dishonest people. People I don't trust. This realization is really bothersome. It is hurting me. It is not a safe place for my spirit. I feel as if I am the only one working and even sacrificing to get the job done. Like they know if I am there the job will g...

maresie2 · maresie2

One other issue that really came up for me when I was reading "The Glass Castle" was the constant chaos. That is how I lived as a child. That is also pretty much how I have lived as an adult. When I meet someone who also lives in constant chaos there is no red flags. Where I work is constant chaos....

kellygirl · kellygirl

I have not spoken to my AH since December 26 because of a heated falling out and I made a conscience decision to completely detatch from him and my life has been so much better since then, not perfect but so much more peaceful. After going to my first Al-Anon meeting and reading posts here I am wondering if...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))) Well I thought I would give you an update on my six week check post surgery. I told the Doc that I have been having some pain again and it’s like the original pain. He told me that it’s either ANOTHER disc or permanent damage. I have to go for another MRI sometime in Mar...

chauri · chauri

I'm soooo angry right now. I'm mot usually the one who screams and shouts. I bottle up things inside and be the doormat person. but today, he put the last straw on this camel. I yelled back at him. told his how hurtful he was, and that he isn't the only one hurt in this relationship. then I walk...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, Well my hubby called me from the pokey on Tuesday. He had met with his lawyer for one of his old charges (DUI, not following through with treatment). Before that point he met with this lawyer he was going to ask for whatever time the judge wanted to close the case and was also going to request that he...

texsmama · texsmama

I think it happened. I truly can't tell you if this was it or not. It seemed like it. I almost left him on Sunday after a war of the worlds (or words!) again. I was completely done with the emotional abuse. Then came the drink after being sober for a couple of weeks. It was his first hard try, I almost kne...

4LLCandMe · 4LLCandMe

Hi all, i'm new here, but i've been attending al-anon meetings for almost 11 months now. some background info b4 i continue...i've been in a relationship with an addict for over 8 years now, our 3rd wedding anniversary will be in the fall. we now have 2 girls, 10 yrs (from a previous re...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I don't know what is wrong with me, I know what things set him off and I know that I have to just back off. Is that right? I am still trying to live with this guy and it is so hard. I came home after being gone all day and he was sitting on the computer. I told him I had to use it and he let me, but it was moving so sl...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just when everything seemed to be mellowing out, he had a place to stay, a job and was paying support and seeing the kids...all hell breaks loose again. Maybe that is just my dramatic rendition of the story. Anyway, last week I was on the fence going back and forth about giving him another chance, etc a...

maresie2 · maresie2

For most of my life I have believed that I was never part of the problem at work. I have really bought into that I had an awful supervisors (and I had some doozys) and terrible co workers and really bad environments. I started a new job recently (albeit a temporary job) I can never quite muster up to gettin...

mama_nz · mama_nz

I'm struggling lately with whether I should have stayed living with my ex(A) or moved back in with him -would that have solved things. Because even though we have been apart a year now almost to the day, we are still arguing over drinking, he is still drinking. It's like the same stuff as when...

QOD · QOD

Ok - so as of this morning....my AH has been gone for one solid week. Off smoking his crack, probably feeling sorry for himself. Boo hoo. Yea right! I know he is alive for 2 reasons.....I can track his credit card cash advances to know he is still withdrawing money. AND he called his sister last night a...

kellygirl · kellygirl

Since I attended my first Al-Anon meeting this week, a whole host of feelings have emerged within me...a lot of good, but some bad. The most prevelant feeling I have been getting is "Is My H Really An Alcoholic?" I know that when he was living at home with us he was, but he has been gone since l...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Yeah but is it really a disease? (Preview) I know this is obvious and I actually accepted alcoholism as a disease along time ago, I just have a hard time applying it to him. He has hep C and cancer. I know that those are diseases and he suffers from them. Funny, they don't really come up very much. Anyway, doesn't he choose to drink? Last ni...	RainyJamie	13	1294	Feb 6, 2007 by Moon
	Stress... (Preview) *Stress*A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold...	ShelBell	5	425	Feb 6, 2007 by maresie2
	Reasons why A's drink or use (Preview) So, in the last week or so, i have read several post here & on another site with people struggling about feeling guilt about why their A's drank or use - feeling some responsibility for that & some of the other behaviors- some of my friends from my f2f meeting were also talking about this - th...	Rita G	15	695	Feb 6, 2007 by Diva
	He must be in Self-Destruct Mode! (Preview) I am in a strange mood this morning. I took my separation questionaire to my lawyer yesterday to have them officially drafted for signing. It was a weird feeling. Good but bad. Ya know. Like I am putting an end to an era. My first love - my high school love - my marriage to the only man I have ever been wi...	QOD	4	516	Feb 6, 2007 by maresie2
	He's STILL in jail - how to deal with others enabiling!!! (Preview) A is still in jail, been there since the 1st. Pretty sad when there's not a soul in the world who will give you $100 and vouch for you. Job was lost yesterday (he can't even get anyone to pick up his check and bail him out with his own money). MIL called to ask me to do it and I said no so now she's...	carolinagirl	4	450	Feb 6, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Protecting Yourself Financially - Auto Insurance? (Preview) Looking for some practical info. AH got a DUI a few weeks ago; our auto insurance agent is now trying to get ahold of him. I"m guessing they're going to cancel our insurance, or at least raise the rates. I don't give a flip about AH's coverage at this point, but I really need to have af...	sharky	6	581	Feb 6, 2007 by Diva
	I just want him out!!! (Preview) (((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))) I’m in some desperate need of ES&H. For those of you that don’t know I live with my active AH. On the weekends usually in the mornings, while sober he will go into a fit of rage. It always starts with the kids not doing what they are supposed to do and then it goes on f...	shadow1	7	559	Feb 6, 2007 by Karilynn
	"i'm a victim" rant (Preview) thanks so much for your replies to my last post. the kindness and understanding flow right into me and give me new thoughts to think. i'm scared. i guess that is what it's boiling down to for me. i am seeing so much fear in myself trying to strike out and do this "live my own life" thing...	serendipity	5	734	Feb 6, 2007 by maresie2
	It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...God's will? (Preview) We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again... but also, she will never sit down on a cold one any more. --Mark Twain "Last night I asked for help, but...	Tiger2006	4	490	Feb 6, 2007 by maresie2
	Feeling insecure (Preview) Life is going good. Why do I feel so uneasy? My ah has been sober for almost 6 months. He is very active in his program-going to 10-12 meetings a week, talking to his sponsor almost every night, has others calling him and is talking to them, listening to speaker tapes at home, working his steps, yada, y...	hudsond	7	480	Feb 6, 2007 by hudsond
	Laughable! He's not ready to come home! HAHAHA (Preview) So I didn't really know what topic to use to describe this post......it is just laughable to me. Of course, I may just be a bit hysterical over it all. On Friday when I got home from work, there was a message from this guy that my AH has been trying to get a job with for the last 2-1/2 months. He had taken...	QOD	5	532	Feb 6, 2007 by QOD
	prayer answered (Preview) Ive had a prayer answered.... My brother is now in rehab. Ive prayed for some sort of help for one of my family memebers. Im so pleased with the prayer answered. My Mom is not very happy with me. I told her I couldnt fix the situation. She got mad at me and pretty much called me heartless. I told My Mom I did lov...	purplebutterfly	3	459	Feb 6, 2007 by maresie2
	Jerry F (Preview) Thank you for responding to me five days ago,,,,,,,, oh how I needed to talk to someone, how lonely, frusterated, scared I was. I couldn't send back replys, as I was not familuar with this setup of IMs, and stuff,,,,,,, I'm still learning. I just want to let you know, I found my way into the room,...	davidssibling	1	508	Feb 5, 2007 by Jerry F
	Oh my goodness kiddies!!! WOW!!! (Preview) The youthful, tanned body has become gorgeously mature. He's tall, and straight, and proud as a peacock. The blond, curly hair has become a rich silver mass of gentle curls hanging down his forehead and into his eyes. The bedroom blue eyes are even more knowing and twinkling. The badness ha...	Diva	12	772	Feb 5, 2007 by drucilla06
	HP works in mysterious ways... A reflection post (Preview) (((MIP Friends))) Tomorrow one year ago my now AH and I split up. Everything moved so quickly. My AH was drinking very heavily then. I was a mess. I was frustrated beyond belief and my life seemed to be surrounded by chaos, anger, resentment, manipulation, constant bickering. We both had had eno...	twinmom2	4	503	Feb 5, 2007 by maresie2
	He's gone AGAIN!! What am I supposed to do? (Preview) My AH has been working on getting this new job for over 2 months now. Supposedly it required tons of background work and paperwork that was taking some time. He had gotten down to the last 2 things.....the drug test and physical. He had the drug test on Friday morning. Thursday night, he took a home t...	QOD	15	663	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	I hate to do what I'm about to do.......... (Preview) Ah has left me no choice. I used to recieve foodstamps when he was a full blown alcoholic because he hoarded money so I had to go after him for child support, well.......he's doing it again. He leaves me "just enough" to pay the bills and thinks he deserves whatever he wants.....now mind...	Friendofyours	7	771	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	My mother passed this morning... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Please keep us in your prayers. especially my father and my children. She would have been 68 on Friday. It's been a long journey.	Lunamoth	46	1448	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	Attended My First Meeting This Morning! (Preview) I just returned to my office after attending my first Al-Anon meeting...OMG, how great it was. It just "clicked" within me...while I have a LONG way to go, I really feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. What wonderful people they were, and they validated my own story and help...	kellygirl	8	515	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	Is he or isn't He? (Preview) This is going to seem like such a silly question, but how can I tell for sure that my H is an alcoholic?...He left me and our 3 kids last March and is living with another woman...am I just using alcohol as an excuse for him leaving us? Yea, I'm a newbie -- Edited by kellygirl at 16:52, 2007-01-30 -...	kellygirl	6	610	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	Has anyone heard of "Celebrate Recovery"? (Preview) Hello, I am new to this forum and to Al-Anon. I have started a program called "Celebrate Recovery" at a local church...has any one here heard of this program? If so...what are your thoughts? Thanks TA	TexasAngel	9	4235	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	Is staying enabling??? (Preview) My A is my husband - been married almost 23 years. About four - five years ago I started to realize he had real problems with alcohol. I've done everything I can think of - yelled, cried, badgered, reasoned, been compassionate... You know what I mean - we've all been there. Sometimes I think i...	fozzie	11	690	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	AH's Recovery & Probation (Preview) It's been a while since I have posted any sort of update on our situation here. Not sure anyone really remembers us...but good news is always a good thing to share, yes? My AH (addiction not restricted to just alcohol) has been sober now almost 7 months. He is working his program and is in constant...	Akasha	3	930	Feb 5, 2007 by abbyal
	This one deserves a post of its own. Read this carefully and remember it could be YOU!!! (Preview) Edit Post \| Quote \| Reply Yesterday morning I nearly died! No joke here. I had stopped in to have a word with my internist. Taking a chance that she may have time to see me, and she did. We were talking about stress and how it can react, and I began telling her about the A, and how his behavior has affected my li...	Diva	23	808	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	tea2, please answer my question (Preview) -- Edited by John at 08:06, 2007-02-05	Serenity	3	911	Feb 5, 2007 by Serenity
	It is such a joy to me.... (Preview) to have made so many of you smile reading through the "Bad, Bad, Bill" series of posts. Renewing a cherished love relationship from so long ago has been a ray of sunshine for me too. I'll keep you all posted. So far, it's exciting as can be!!! Any of you remember the song, "B...	Diva	11	584	Feb 5, 2007 by lilms
	Touching Alanon Base (Preview) Major Ziggy to Alanon Base.......lol Today was rather eventful. My son as been sick all weekend making no improvement. This morning, his fever shot up even higher and had no clue where he was at. The baby was to be home soon from a weekend at her A dad's house. I called former AH and gave him a run d...	ZiggyDoodles	7	598	Feb 5, 2007 by Rita G
	Bad Bad Behaviour (Preview) Hi family. It's been quite a while since I started a topic, and recent events have put my skills to the test. A hearing for the criminal trial (DV) was held a few days ago. The state (not I) pressed charges and Awife and lawyer entered into a diversion agreement - it won't proceed to trial, as lon...	CJ	13	642	Feb 5, 2007 by Rita G
	New (Preview) It's me, Eve, and I just want to say, wow, the chat room is such a great place. Three days ago I found it, and there was a converstaion or many conversations happening. Thought maybe I was in wrong room. I asked if it was really a room for al-anon, and the people stopped the chit chat, and asked how I was,...	davidssibling	7	557	Feb 5, 2007 by AndiLynn
	Clarification of my previous post -"AH Still Gone but not Missing" (Preview) I feel there may be some clarification needed regarding my last post. Obsession? There is no obsession when it comes to tracking my AH's credit card transactions. Only concern. 1st - I am not tracking him 24/7 or even at home. I do not have a computer at home. So there is NO - ZERO - neglect towar...	QOD	5	769	Feb 5, 2007 by QOD
	It might be time... (Preview) I think I'm ready to give my A husband a choice. I know choice is just a fancy word for ultimatum, and ultimatums generally don't work (see all the wonderful replies to my previous post), but this is for myself and the kids. We had a big family weekend this weekend at my parents' house. The...	fozzie	4	576	Feb 5, 2007 by maresie2
	daily petty irratations (Preview) my ex ah and i spend alot of time together with the kids. it is for the most part tolerable and fun. buti'll start relating a story that i've heard on the news and he inturupts me with something more important. so, i see, he is just being rude. it is part of his mania taking hold again. all the signs a...	serendipity	4	624	Feb 4, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Jelous of AH at times.....too twisted? (Preview) Sometimes I am actually jelous of my AH...a small part of me envy's his seemingly carefree existance with the bartender skank in the smoke filled trailor. No bills, no nagging wife, no children throwing up at 3 o'clock in the morning, no toilets to plunge or dog poo to pick up. just a carefree e...	kellygirl	11	624	Feb 4, 2007 by AndiLynn
	The last straw (Preview) I did some research yesterday about the arrest and am just feeling resigned to the idea that this is just the way it's gonna be and it's time for me to move on. I thought I was moving on before but still had that string of hope that we might get back together someday, that he would get better. I am a...	carolinagirl	3	431	Feb 4, 2007 by doxie
	Moving on from being totally mired in resentment (Preview) As some of you may remember when I first came into this room more than a year ago I was absolutely lost in resentment and chaos with the A. I have definitely had my moments over the past year. I've been totally desolate at times, I have also been petrified at what the A might do next. I never did see the...	maresie2	2	536	Feb 4, 2007 by Karilynn
	Sober but troubles... (Preview) (((Hi everyone))) Well as I heard a few times when first coming to this program, you will need this work probably more when your A gets sober. It is becoming more and more true. I was just so glad to have him "back" in this world that I was pretty much just staying put, sticking with him like gl...	hersh	8	575	Feb 4, 2007 by Idealsummerluv
	Alcohol II The Movie ( long post) (Preview) I would like to tell you why I am on this forum. I left my AexH who was a violent drunk when my son Sam (that's him on the left) was three, his sister two and his brother, a baby. A couple of years after leaving him I met a guy ( let's call him AP) I really fell for him, he was kind ,gentle, fun and loved my...	Marianne	7	617	Feb 4, 2007 by Susan K
	asking for prayers (Preview) wish i had the energy to share events/feelings/responses/questions of the past few days in my life with you all and get some specific replies. but i am exhausted and definitely numb and foggy feeling and just wanted to ask you to keep me in your hearts and prayers. i am emotionally so exhausted....try...	Fifi	11	532	Feb 4, 2007 by Idealsummerluv
	Being isolated (Preview) Dealing with the A, working nights (I currently work shifts) and more have left me incredibly isolated. I think I have to say my codependence also leaves me isolated. I over react, over identify, people please, martyr myself in relationships. I recently read a biography of a child growing up in an a...	maresie2	5	458	Feb 4, 2007 by Leetle
	Business Meeting (Preview) Business Meeting Sunday Ferbruary 4th at 9pm est Follwing the alanon meeting. Agenda Meeting Schedule. New Comer Meeting Financial Report. New Business Will hear all new business from members. If you have any new business you can send me a private email here or bring it up at the meeting. Thanks...	kerry5	2	420	Feb 3, 2007 by kerry5
	WHY DO RELATIONSHIPS CAUSE SO MUCH PAIN (Preview) ((((((((((((GUYS))))))))))) My emotions have been like a rollercoaster since Christmas. I am going through so much confusion and pain. One day I'm happy, next day I land right back down there on my butt. I was happy yesterday. And today the bottom has fallen out of my world. One of my relationshi...	ally	9	729	Feb 3, 2007 by marty
	acceptance of reality (Preview) Hello all, It has been awhile, been visiting and reading but not posting. My Ah will die of alcoholism. There it's said. I have done everything I can. So has his family. He had a withdrawel seizure at work and was taken to the hospital. Low blood count(30,000) it should be 100,000 min, fatty liver, e...	evey	2	412	Feb 3, 2007 by evey
	The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak... (Preview) Yesterday my AH came home from work with not only the regular six pack he has been drinking every day, but an additional 3 six packs that a customer had stopped off at my husband's job and given him. When he shared that information with me, the first thought that popped in my head was: "Here goes...	Wilted	5	495	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	It's been quite a week! (Preview) Last Wed. my son and his new girlfriend came to town to spend a week here with me which was exciting because I have not seen him in 5 months (first time he's ever been away) and it was the first time I'd be meeting her. And that Saturday my oldest daughter and her 6 yr. old daughter came to to...	jaja	3	407	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	sorry for the post (Preview) sorry for adding the post again,i didnt see that it came on cause im not on my computer,sorry	bev	1	512	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	anyone there who is an a and an al-anon? (Preview) hi all i am new to this format and am looking to get some experience strength and hope from al-anon.i have 9.5 years clean from chemicals( no drugs etoh) BUT my husband is an active and really sick drunk. how is that for twisted?I didnt get enuf pain torturing myself I had to stay w a active drinker.i was...	gr8tful	4	480	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	Hard Day...Hard Share (Preview) I have come to realize that I work with dishonest people. People I don't trust. This realization is really bothersome. It is hurting me. It is not a safe place for my spirit. I feel as if I am the only one working and even sacrificing to get the job done. Like they know if I am there the job will g...	Leetle	4	542	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	Chaos theory (Preview) One other issue that really came up for me when I was reading "The Glass Castle" was the constant chaos. That is how I lived as a child. That is also pretty much how I have lived as an adult. When I meet someone who also lives in constant chaos there is no red flags. Where I work is constant chaos....	maresie2	1	697	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	Should I Offer An Olive Branch To My AH? (Preview) I have not spoken to my AH since December 26 because of a heated falling out and I made a conscience decision to completely detatch from him and my life has been so much better since then, not perfect but so much more peaceful. After going to my first Al-Anon meeting and reading posts here I am wondering if...	kellygirl	8	538	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	6 week check up uuggghhh (Preview) ((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))) Well I thought I would give you an update on my six week check post surgery. I told the Doc that I have been having some pain again and it’s like the original pain. He told me that it’s either ANOTHER disc or permanent damage. I have to go for another MRI sometime in Mar...	shadow1	10	552	Feb 3, 2007 by bubbles1990
	Angerrrrrr!!!!! (Preview) I'm soooo angry right now. I'm mot usually the one who screams and shouts. I bottle up things inside and be the doormat person. but today, he put the last straw on this camel. I yelled back at him. told his how hurtful he was, and that he isn't the only one hurt in this relationship. then I walk...	chauri	2	390	Feb 3, 2007 by 4LLCandMe
	Ugh, Hubby's lawyer may have helped him out of going to treatment (Preview) Hi all, Well my hubby called me from the pokey on Tuesday. He had met with his lawyer for one of his old charges (DUI, not following through with treatment). Before that point he met with this lawyer he was going to ask for whatever time the judge wanted to close the case and was also going to request that he...	Dolphin123	11	586	Feb 3, 2007 by Grace2
	Hitting their bottom (Preview) I think it happened. I truly can't tell you if this was it or not. It seemed like it. I almost left him on Sunday after a war of the worlds (or words!) again. I was completely done with the emotional abuse. Then came the drink after being sober for a couple of weeks. It was his first hard try, I almost kne...	texsmama	4	521	Feb 3, 2007 by 4LLCandMe
	a fresh start? (Preview) Hi all, i'm new here, but i've been attending al-anon meetings for almost 11 months now. some background info b4 i continue...i've been in a relationship with an addict for over 8 years now, our 3rd wedding anniversary will be in the fall. we now have 2 girls, 10 yrs (from a previous re...	4LLCandMe	6	541	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	I started it (Preview) I don't know what is wrong with me, I know what things set him off and I know that I have to just back off. Is that right? I am still trying to live with this guy and it is so hard. I came home after being gone all day and he was sitting on the computer. I told him I had to use it and he let me, but it was moving so sl...	RainyJamie	7	430	Feb 3, 2007 by Maria123
	He's in jail...again (Preview) Just when everything seemed to be mellowing out, he had a place to stay, a job and was paying support and seeing the kids...all hell breaks loose again. Maybe that is just my dramatic rendition of the story. Anyway, last week I was on the fence going back and forth about giving him another chance, etc a...	carolinagirl	3	629	Feb 3, 2007 by Maria123
	Seeing myself in others (at work) (Preview) For most of my life I have believed that I was never part of the problem at work. I have really bought into that I had an awful supervisors (and I had some doozys) and terrible co workers and really bad environments. I started a new job recently (albeit a temporary job) I can never quite muster up to gettin...	maresie2	1	424	Feb 3, 2007 by gardengal
	Should I have stayed (Preview) I'm struggling lately with whether I should have stayed living with my ex(A) or moved back in with him -would that have solved things. Because even though we have been apart a year now almost to the day, we are still arguing over drinking, he is still drinking. It's like the same stuff as when...	mama_nz	4	503	Feb 3, 2007 by lin0606
	Update - AH still gone but not exactly missing! (Preview) Ok - so as of this morning....my AH has been gone for one solid week. Off smoking his crack, probably feeling sorry for himself. Boo hoo. Yea right! I know he is alive for 2 reasons.....I can track his credit card cash advances to know he is still withdrawing money. AND he called his sister last night a...	QOD	7	451	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Second Guessing Myself...Please Help (Preview) Since I attended my first Al-Anon meeting this week, a whole host of feelings have emerged within me...a lot of good, but some bad. The most prevelant feeling I have been getting is "Is My H Really An Alcoholic?" I know that when he was living at home with us he was, but he has been gone since l...	kellygirl	5	597	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.