The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today was rather eventful. My son as been sick all weekend making no improvement. This morning, his fever shot up even higher and had no clue where he was at. The baby was to be home soon from a weekend at her A dad's house. I called former AH and gave him a run down on what I was doing. My plan was to be home from er before the big game. (Big game, is big drinking time for him). He told me they were just staying at the house to watch it and take as long as needed. Later, he called and asked if she could spend the night, he told me on his own...he wasn't leaving and wasn't drinking...I could call or come by at anytime to check.
Get boy to ER. They determine he is in sad shape and needs a series of test. My oldest daughter then falls underneath his bed face first and has a seizure. In the process of trying to roll her over on to her side rather than her face, we find she is bleeding badly from the nose. Guess she hit something just right to start that. Now, we have both being seen. I told them she had an EEG done a few years ago and it was clear. They did a CT and set up an MRI for tomorrow since the CT showed nothing.
Both kids got to go down and give pretty pictures to radiology. What fun. When I came back from Xray with my son, they were ready to take blood from sister. She threw up and was starting another seizure. It feels really, really odd to have a medical staff follow my lead. But, then again....I am the mom and know what to expect to some degree when it comes to her seizures. I had them take the rails down on the bed before taking the blood. She was already freaking out and I knew the rails could hurt. Three nurses on one side of the bed and two more including me on the other side. From there, I let God and the nurses take care of the rest.
Kids were sent home with scrict instructions to see their dr in the morning. Daughter will have MRI in the afternoon. Took the boy to bed and got daughter showered and relaxed. Made some soup and son fell asleep on the table. Put him back to bed. Daughter ate well and sat up and chatted for a while. Still getting her witts about her to some degree.
Then, came the task of calling her dad, really his wife. That is their request that all correspondence go through her. My daughter's dad and I made amends years ago. In the process her and I had a pretty heated, sharp tongue session one day. I ended up making amends to her when it was supposed to happen the way my sponsor told me it would. I did it a few months ago and it came with relative ease.
It took me a while to get my nerves in check before picking up the phone. (Ever heard of kicking a dog while he down) I had to tell myself that I made my amends and cleaned up my side and that is all that mattered. If she still couldn't be civil....well, that was her deal and nothing to do with me. The Lord's prayer seemed to be fitting...."forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us....and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" .
I picked up the phone and made the call. It was very pleasant and sincere. She asked that I call her as I know more about daughter and gave me her cell phone number.
So many times today, I had to let go and let God carry things out. There were so many God deals in today. I had to let that grasp go of my kids and and let the others trained to do what they were supposed to and only when asked did I take over. It was amazing to have a program that reminds me God is there to tell me to get my hand off the stove.
In this process I had my mom and my bf there helping with those kids. It was wonderful.
When I came home I had two messages from two different people in the program. I didn't even feel remotely guilty about asking another in the program to return the call from me....send my love....but Ziggy needed bubble bath time for Ziggy. Ziggy doesn't have all the answers and couldn't be apart of a conversation without distraction. HALT came into play and I had to stop and take care of me. The kids were settled and okay for now...it was my turn.
I returned the other call after bath and encouraged the person to use the phone list. I still listened for a while and related for a while. I felt better, once again after that call.
One day at a time. Tomorrow is a brand new canvas. Ziggy
I had a brief break-down intially. When she was under the bed, the nurse kept tugging at her yelling, "Hey!" I thought she was under the bed getting something or playing a joke, but wasn't moving....so I kept saying her name and telling her to get out from underneath there. There was not one single response. When the nurse and I got down to where we could get closer to her face she started to convulse. I was trying so hard to get her on her side and get her head away from the bed. Some where in the process, I went into panic mode because I couldn't get her out or on her side. All I could feel was someone's hands on me taking me quickly out of the room. I wanted their hands off me and I just kept going until no one was touching me. I needed a moment. They were handling this. I just needed to soak in what was happening.
I went and held my son from accross the hall while we watched them take care of her. I called my mom and asked her to come. When she was awake to some degree they came and got me. The lights were dimmly on for her and certainly no one was home just yet for my daughter. I needed that little break down. I had plenty of strength after that.
I do have to say, I was a rather attractive site to see. Face all puffy, nose all snotty, and my mascara was doing amazing things for my face....I had the cat lady thing going on one side and on the other was just completely black. How is it that us girls manage to get mascara on our foreheads exactly?
After making sure both were being taken care of and stable. I took a time out. Washed my face as best I could and went outside and focused on "nautral sounds". Cars going by, dogs barking, the winds, birds. The sounds and the atmosphere in a hospital is enough to get to anyone. I smoked and went back in. Yes, HALT came into play more than once yesterday. I did break down. It was needed. It is okay, not to be a pillar of strength all the time. I didn't stay in my break down though.
Thank you all for the support. I really, really needed to touch base and still do. Ziggy
WOW! What a day you had. I am very impressed that you held it all together. WELL DONE! I can remember those scary days with hubby in the ER and ICU. I'm not sure if I worked my program, but I did seem rather calm at points. It was hard for me to leave him ICU, but the nurse assured me that he wouldn't have any more seizures. So I sad a prayer and came home. It was good to snuggle with Pipers Kitty and take a long hot shower. I needed to Let Go and Let God. I doubt that I could have called another person and been as supportive as you were. I remember thinking I don't want to deal with anyone else at the moment.
Hope everything works out for the kids and they find out what's going on. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers tonight. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I hate that when that happens!!!!
