The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just returned to my office after attending my first Al-Anon meeting...OMG, how great it was. It just "clicked" within me...while I have a LONG way to go, I really feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. What wonderful people they were, and they validated my own story and helped me see that yes, my H is an alcoholic and the woman he is living with is not about me. I also see how much I have enabled him and his drinking...and I have a ton of work to do on myself in the days and months ahead. I have been looking through the 12 steps and I would like to ask you wonderful people a question if you don't mind...
Regarding steps 8 & 9...I see now that I have harmed my H by not standing up for him when I knew full well that he was abusing alcohol...I tuned out and let it continue, I was the ultimate enabler and I see how this neglect on my part caused him harm. Do I include my AH in the "Making Amends?" Deep down inside, I would like to tell him that I am sorry that I did not stand up for him and what he was doing to himself, but I am not sure if it is appropriate or necessary. Your thoughts?
Again, I have a long way to go, but I am hopeful and starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel and I have you and Al-Anon to thank! I look forward to hearing from you.
Kellygirl, congrats on making that 1st meeting that's a big step!! also thanks for sharing it with us.
my only suggestion on your question is what was told to me - the steps are numbered & in a certain order for a reason. It is suggested that when we start working the steps that we start with Step 1. The are a number of books "Paths to Recovery", "How Al-Anon works" & the "Al-Anon 12 & 12" that can help you on working these steps, plus it helps to work with a sponsor or trusted recovery friend.
Kudos to you for looking at your part in the insanity of the disease, but i have found the best way for me to work toward a health life is taking the steps in order - that is what works for me.
Hope that you will keep attending the meetings, reaching out for help & growing on your path to living happy, joyous & free, Rita
__________________
No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Yes, when you are ready for thosse steps, you will have a good idea of what needs to be done, and to whom. Most of us, I suspect, have some amends to make to the A, but they may not be what you first think, early on. I'm beginning, myself , to get some idea of what I have done to him - it's taken a few years to clear the fog.
Oh I'm so glad you went. You are doing everything right to take care of yourself, keep going to those meetings, reading the literature and keep coming back here. You are not alone!
Good for you!!! I have been going to meetings for two and a half years now and I am a different person. Work the steps one at a time and take time with each. Thay will improve your life and give you the serenity you need. I was a mess when I attended my first meeting and now I have people tell me how different I look at life. Keep going bacy. Prayers to you!
Welcome! I'm sorry you need us, but I am happy you found us! (That goes for everyone in al-anon!) One of my favorite slogans in the program is "Easy Does It" Here is what it is about (I found this on the internet somewhere):
"When we come into Al-anon, burdened with the problems and confusion, we are confronted with a bright light of hope. This may tempt us to try too hard to learn, too quickly, all there is to learn about the program. "If we could only grasp the magic formula that is doing so much for the others," we think. But alas, it is not magic, but a philosophy of living, to be learned slowly and patiently, and absorbed into our hearts and minds. When we approach each meeting, each problem, each step, in a relaxed frame of mind, what we need will come to us much more quickly than if we are strained and hurried. Readjusting our lives and changing old habits takes time, and easy does best."
Enjoy your journey to self-improvement! Babysteps.
