The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been a while since I have posted any sort of update on our situation here. Not sure anyone really remembers us...but good news is always a good thing to share, yes?
My AH (addiction not restricted to just alcohol) has been sober now almost 7 months. He is working his program and is in constant touch with his sponsor. He's even become a sponsor himself - I didn't realize one could do that "so fast" but his sponsor believes it is right for him. AH also chairs a CA meeting once weekly and is enjoying every bit of it. I'm very happy for him.
We are still separated by countless miles, him on the east coast, me way out in Wyoming with our 2 precious little boys. AH and I have not seen each other since April 14, 2006. He is on 18 months probation for possession of methamphetamine. He, for those that don't recall or if I never shared, essentially turned himself in. Quite unintentional - but he did it nonetheless. I still find it comical how it happened - but that's a story for another time. He has a meeting with his probation officer today and he plans on talking to him about early release from probation. One year will be in April and he's hoping to be able to get released from his probation at that time. I have no expectations on this end of his early release. We'll just wait and see what happens.
The boys and I miss him dearly and we talk everyday. We have talked every single day since he started on his sobriety. It's been a very long road that we've taken one step at a time and will continue to take it in the same fashion. I'm excited to see my AH again, to fall in love "again" with a new person - the person I always saw in him. I hope that his sobriety has taught him so much and that he realizes that life is full of learning about oneself and relishing in the quirks and flaws in ourselves and accepting those things. I'm excited to be able to share those lessons with a wonderful person and teach them to our children.
I've changed so much in this adventure as well. I've questioned myself about whether or not I'm unhealthy for AH now. All I can do is continue on my recovery path as he continues on his - and never give up on my own should he give up on his.
So, that's my rambling contribution for the day. I hope you all have a very wonderful and peace-filled day.
It sounds like things are going well. I can't imagine being separated by such a great distance from my ah (also addicted to more than alcohol). My ah has been sober for almost 6 months. He is very heavy into his program and doing well. At this point in time I think sometimes it might be easier to be separated by miles--just would help in my uneasy feelings. He has been so busy in his program, that sometimes I get jealous of his time away. I do not for the life of me want him to stop going to meetings and talking with his aa friends, but sometimes I really feel left out of the loop. This is something I really need to work on. I am trying to work my program, but have found great difficulty with this lately. You sound like you are handling everything and I hope that soon I will be to that point as well. continue to take care of yourself and your sons.
Thanks for the update. It is so good to hear everyone's experiences!
What a hopeful share. I feel your excitement. That is exactly what I felt when things seemed to be coming together between me and my alcoholic wife. I even thought or said some of what you said. He has got a home meeting and does service, he has a sponsor and a sponsee (someone who trusts his recovery and some one whose recovery he trusts. Yes 7 months is a short time for some. When it's all in HP hands we use faith rather than fear and concern.) He is working the program and excited. Since it seems to be working for him you will want to look at what he is doing as suggestions that you also get such involved if you are not already. Same 12 steps, same 12 traditions same suggestions.
Bill W., the co-founder of AA once said, "...if it had not been for the Al-Anon Family Groups I doubt if AA would have ever survived." This is a para-phrase. CA is the same program of recovery.
Addiction is a family disease. I suggest you get as much Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature and read it while he is not so near so that you can focus on what the literature offers. It is not all up to his recovery and never was. Your happiness and serenity and sanity is your responsibility.
I am happy he has 7 months clean time because that is so healthy mind, body, spirit and emotions and he has probably experienced a rush that Coke or meth hasn't ever given him. We do this program just 1 day at a time. We don't drink or use any mind or mood altering substances. We stay away from drinking and using friends and family and stay attached to those like us who wish and strive to be sober and clean. We attend meetings and sit and listen and learn often times giving up time with family and family events in order to grow spiritually and eventually save our lives which in the past we were so ready to end or ruin. We find a sponsor that becomes the closest family member we have ever had in our lives; closer than our own parents or siblings, closer still than our spouses. A sponsor can help save our sanity and lives where most often the family, friends and spouses cannot and will only frustrate us in their attempts. Our sponsors speak the spiritual language of recovery, from the ears it touches our soul and our brain but always the soul. For me the soul is the God part of me, my HPs location. It is in this location that I understand the entire program and myself and those in recovery around me. We desire...now not the substances which dulled our lives and the lives around us but a Spirit that can fulfill where drugs and alcohol only promised and then lied about. We do service because in giving back we find that what has been given to us really works!! We give back because that is the 12th step. We give back because we take an interest in our suffering brothers and sisters where as before we never really cared about except for what we could get from them. We do service because, especially when we are young in recovery, to stand and do nothing invites us to be bored and cynical and to leave and put ourselves in danger. We do service because that is what was done for us and we come to believe and we come to want recovery to keep going toward every suffering alcoholic, addict and their families. We become convinced without reservation and that becomes our definition of "faith".
I ramble, because I care. Find a way to as many open meetings as you can between now and when he returns. If you think you cannot get to them call the hotline in the white pages of your phone book and ask for someone to come over and talk with you. Ask them to bring some literature.
If he came home today he would have 7months of being affected by a program you might know little about and sometimes that could feel worse than the coke/meth addiction.
Keep coming back. Yours in service and love. (((((Hugs)))))
Wondering if your too unhealthy for your A to be in a relationship , hon u were never the reason he drank and u would certainly not be the reason he started again . Your both working a program so that is in your favor u got a chance girl , keep looking at your needs AA and God will take care of him . let your program take care of you . good luck Louise
